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Crohn's Disease Forum

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Joined
May 7, 2014
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Hi everyone.

I just really felt like I needed to come on here tonight and get some stuff out before I explode :( I was diagnosed with Crohn's a couple of weeks ago now following an MRI but am not on any medication yet as the GI has scheduled a colonoscopy for this weekend to see the extent of the damage in my terminal ileum.

When I first got diagnosed, I felt a huge sense of relief after suffering from symptoms for 10 years and constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me by GP's and other specialists. So when it was finally confirmed, I felt like I wasn't crazy and someone had finally taken me seriously. But today, I have been feeling absolutely awful. Could barely move out of bed, really bad muscle aches and joint pain, nausea, bloating, cramping and generally feeling really unwell. So this evening I decide to go have a nice bath and wash my hair to try and make myself feel a bit better which led to a complete emotional breakdown (lol stupid right?!). I was drying my hair but could barely hold my arms up and I felt like no matter what I do, I will feel and look like utter crap.

I think the initial sense of relief has worn off and been replaced by all these horrible feelings. I am so scared and anxious about what the future holds and have a million things running through my head; why me? What did I do to deserve this horrible illness? Will my life just be a series of hospital visits, surgeries and nasty medications? And I know everyone here is fighting their own battles, and I just feel so weak for feeling this way and getting myself into a state.

I know there is no magic solution here, I just already feel like this forum is such an amazing support in my life since my diagnosis and somewhere I can be really honest with some truly helpful people. I guess I just wanted to get all of this off my chest somewhere people truly understand what it all means.

Thank you for reading this far.

Sarah x
 
Hi Sarah. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.

First off I want to assure you there is absolutely nothing you did or didn't do to get this awful disease.
I understand the releif that comes with a diagnosis. You finally have an answer. It's natural for all the questions an fear to rear it's ugly head. Just try and take it a day at a time. Right now your in a flare. You will have days when you just can't do much. That's alright. But treatment can start soon. Your outlook will change when youre in remission.

This disease isn't a death sentence or a life of disability and hospital stays.

Sending you my support and best wishes.
 
Hi Sarah. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.

First off I want to assure you there is absolutely nothing you did or didn't do to get this awful disease.
I understand the releif that comes with a diagnosis. You finally have an answer. It's natural for all the questions an fear to rear it's ugly head. Just try and take it a day at a time. Right now your in a flare. You will have days when you just can't do much. That's alright. But treatment can start soon. Your outlook will change when youre in remission.

This disease isn't a death sentence or a life of disability and hospital stays.

Sending you my support and best wishes.

Hi Dave. Thank you so much for your kind words of support.

It is so easy to question yourself when you face this illness, and so easy to blame yourself. I am trying really hard not to beat myself up because I know it will not help the situation at all. It is such an overwhelming situation and I always thought when I was undiagnosed that an answer would liberate me somehow. I am going to get my hair done today to try and make myself feel better - a little treat to lift my spirits :) I think once this weekend's tests are over with and I am on a treatment plan, I will start to feel a bit more positive about everything. I have been symptomatic for the last 10 years essentially so it will be wonderful when I feel some kind of control.

Thank you again for your reply, the support from people such as yourself on this forum is a lifeline right now and I cannot express how grateful I am.

Sarah x
 
I think getting your hair done is a fantastic idea.
Please keep us posted. Ask lots of question - knowledge is power. Or just vent if you need to.
 
I think getting your hair done is a fantastic idea.
Please keep us posted. Ask lots of question - knowledge is power. Or just vent if you need to.

I went all out and got hair and nails done! It definitely made me feel pampered and relaxed, which made me feel a bit happier generally. I did unfortunately get unwell when I got home and tried eating but such is life at the moment! I will definitely keep you posted once my tests are done as I'm sure the results will pose lots more questions for me. Thanks again for all of your support.

Best wishes :)
 

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