The movers just left :(

[David in Seattle]

As many of you know, my wife of 6 years, partner of 8, left me shortly after my gut issues began, with no warning whatsoever. Yesterday, I had a court ordered mediation which resulted in a settlement clearly favoring my wife. Alas, when it comes to domestic relations, in most jurisdictions the man is at a distinct disadvantage, and that was the case for me, just as my lawyer (a woman) predicted. So today, a moving crew came to take a number of items (some furniture, her clothing, her pottery equipment (much of which I built for her) jewelry and books (most of which I bought for her) to my wife in LA.

I am now standing alone in the house that was to be our long term home. What a different experience it was when the truck left this time, compared to the happy event of high expectations I recall from 3 short years ago. This is THE most painful experience I have ever had in my life, and it was no cake-walk previously. I don't know whether to cry, vomit, or both. Between my ongoing health issues, and being abandoned in the manner I was amidst them by the woman I have loved most deeply (only notice was a cell call from the airport telling me "I'm leaving") I'm just about at my end. My wife and I only moved to Seattle about 4 years ago, and with her gone, I basically am alone here. I'm not sure how I expect anyone to respond to this, but for some reason it feels a bit better to express it, so I appreciate the group indulging my whining. This group in general (and one special member in particular) represent some of the best in human compassion I've found anywhere. I know I am not the only one who appreciates the supportive atmosphere on the entire spectrum of human experience

Thanks for listening.

 

[Entchen]

David, I'm so sorry for the loss that you've experienced and that was brought home to you today. Take good care. I'll be thinking about you today.

 

[Guest]

aw David, big hugs to you.

you're so right in that life is no cake walk for some of us, and i've been in a similar situation to you - in my divorce case i guess i was the exception to the rule - i lost out. despite having children, one being a baby at the time, i lost the family home, and i remember the torn feeling when potential buyers came to view my house, and eventually the day came for me and my kids to move out. it hurts, there's nothing anyone can say to change that, but like any other grief in life, this intense pain will subside into acceptance in time, and you're strong - you'll be ok.

i am so sorry you're going through this. we're all here for you though, so talk to us whenever you feel like.

 

[dreamintwilight]

HUG!!!

I can't imagine what you must be going through. I have had my fair share of heartbreak, but having a spouse leave after a number of years during one of the most difficult times in your life is just a whole other animal. I am a very sentimental person and can empathize with this home representing so many different things. Hopefully, from here you can start moving on completely with your life and the pain will become less and less over time. Sounds to me like she didn't deserve you anyway. Best wishes to you, David. Your venting is more than welcome (and perfectly natural and healthy )!

 

[mwb3779]

David, I truly feel for you. I pray that things get better for you. I'm here if you wanna talk.

 

[Nyx]

I'm so sorry David. I have no words of comfort for you, and I don't really know you, but you will get through this, and in time the hurt will fade. One day at a time. In the meantime, feel free to vent at us at will (I know that ranting and raving always makes me feel better, much better than vomiting does)!! Take good care of yourself...

 

[Lisa]

Sorry to hear about this.....divorces are never easy....my brother went through a tough one last year.....

If I ever make it out to Seattle to visit my sister I'll look you up and say 'hi'!

 

[David in Seattle]

Thanks for the replies. I guess in this case what makes it especially hard is that there were no indications of difficulty prior to her leaving. It makes the whole thing so hard to reconcile & put behind me. I honestly wonder if she hasn't had some sort of mental lapse. This is not the woman I knew.

Thank you again, IBD friends.

 

[kenny]

It's rough but you got to move through it and right on past it. I remember sitting there getting drunk on the couch for a week when My fist wife moved back in with her mom. But I came out of it understanding myself and having a renewed sense of purpose. You have to love yourself first. What ever else happens just happens. Its amazing how much difference that sense of self confidence makes and I know how hard it is with this damn disease dragging at our heals. But that sense of confidence that comes with being happy in your own skin is what people pick up on.

Feel it, project it, and the chicks will dig it. It's all state of mind :ladysman:

 

[dreamintwilight]

I agree with Kenny. When I went through my first break up and finally got my confidence back the guys were swarming, it seemed! People are attracted to confidence