To see the sun :sun:

[xrayzerase]

to see the sun :sun:

i have been digging holes
to hide
not from self pity
but from frustration
but i see now
the sun can't be seen
when digging
or in
some dark blind hole

i am proud
to be here
and to see the sun
:sun:
and i thank you all
for seeing more to all illness
than illness

that there is worse out there
sucks

but to think of it that way
is another hole

yes-i've been fighting
but not enough

i hear you all
and really:
i do do miss being SILLY!

i just forgot
you know?
but-i hear you


:sun: :sun: :sun:

and just...
thank you.

 

[ruthymg]

thats better!!! apparently if you smile you naturally feel better about things, so when you're getting really down force youself to smile and see, if all else fails try cholcolate!!!!! Glad to see you being a little more positive, well done


Ruth

 

[katiesue1506]

It's nice to see a happy post! Stay positive!

 

[Nancy Lee]

"i just forgot
you know?
but-i hear you"


Very nicely worded...it's good to see you smile.
Hugs~Nancy

 

[xrayzerase]

thank you so much everyone
i can not say how grateful i am that you spoke to me honestly.
i needed to hear it.
i joined this forum to learn and meet others who know what cd is all about--
but i got depressed. and it took me over-
and i used this forum less as a connecting place (lately) and more as a plae to selfishly vent.
i see this.
and it woke me up-because i truly like so many people here-and i would be sad to now be part of things
but most of all:
i saw my selfishness was depression-and yes-i am doing all i can. it is not just ccrohn's--i really do have a real problem with depression (way before crohn's hit)
and -
you know..
just-thanks.
andrea

 

[Nancy Lee]

Andrea..I know depression well..
and it does help to vent..or to write it out, or both.
Don't ever be sorry for coming here and venting..
how else could we know you need hugs?

HUGS~Nancy

 

[ruthymg]

please promise us though Andrea that you speak to your doctor . its not a crime to vent and its not something to be embarrassed about, I too take anti depressants and I'm not embarrassed to admit it. There is help out there for you, you need to nip this in the bud before the depression takes over you. take care


Ruth

 

[tonya_n_ky]

Keep Smilin' and stay strong I agree with Ruth, Get ya a good dr that will help you with the depression and make yourself get up and go. Keep telling yourself that you have to control the disease and not let it control you! I have been there and I know it's hard..BUT when you overcome it you will see that life seems so much easier and it's a little easier to see the sun. Take Care

 

[TammySue62]

Well spoken Ladies I couldnt of said it any better then you did.

Nancy Lee, Ruth and Tonya.

Sometimes you just have to give your head a shake and step out of that depressing mood. Or it will take your life over.

I would go to a good DR. also

Keep on smiling



TAMMY

 

[mikeyarmo]

Wonderful post and glad that you see things in a different light (under the sun ).

 

[Jeff D.]

Great post and it is a good thing that you discovered that you have depression. If you cannot believe you have it then you will never be able to fix it. I would say to to go your doctor and try soem meds for depression and do not worry if one does not work, their is bound to be one that will help you. Also after you take the medication for a few months I would say to try to start meditating. Meditating will get your mind off of everything and will start to help you out. You see everything in a different way. If you ever need to chat then pm me.

 

[xrayzerase]

hi
i just want to say thanks to everybody again.
i can see..when i first joined here-i was more in tune with some people-and talking in a stronger way..and i miss that. there is strength here-which is why i joined initially--it wasn't a place to feel sorry for yourself-but a place to learn-and sometimes vent--but-mostly-just-to get strong-and i know..i lost it a bit.
i talked to my psychiatrist and i am taking a higher dose of prozac now.
anyway-seriously
thanks
see everyone around
maybe in the chat
and no worries-
i really do have "the fight" in me
i just got a bit off
anyway-that's it
(oh-rem infusion 2 went ok-and--not there yet--but-not so depressed --
i --i just really heard
so again
yeah,
thanks
andrea big *hugs* to all.

 

[Nancy Lee]

Andrea, you know how I feel about you...don't you?
You are a very talented, sweet gal, who happens to have Crohn's.
Keep writing...I love reading your words.
Even when you vent. :wink:
Hugs~Nancy

 

[kissycole_1979]

I may not be a "regular" on here and I don't really know what is going on but I am glad it seems you are feeling a little better about yourself and your situation. I too have my low times and if you need someone to talk to you i will be here. I don't post on here often because I don't know much about crohn's disease. I mainly just lurk and learn. I have suffered with depression before and I know it sucks. Just keep your chin up and look toward the sun! Good luck and stay happy!

 

[xrayzerase]

to kissycole:
thanks for being open to talk ..that means a lot to me.
i may at some point go into the chat space--but not til i am less depressed. getting there though
upping my prozac has started to kick in
pm me too-if you even want to talk.
i know i go on and on a lot
but-actually-i am a good listener-(really) and i'd always be there -just like i guess everyone else is but-always an extra person on the "talk-list" is a good thing
anyway- trying to not be on here as much til i am a little less in my head --but actually-i am pretty close. feeling totally silly today-and i am still in bad flare. so see?
it is possible.

trust me-if a nutter like me can do it-anyone can
ok-off and away for now..
but always check in-just may not post so much for now..
pm me anytime-or e me: [email protected] or aim: abm1979 (not on so much now--but will be soon..probably more next week)
ok-bye
andrea

 

[xrayzerase]

for nancy

just a BIG thank you
you have already done more for me than you know
(((hug)))
andrea