Trying to be a good friend

[Brenmichelle]

I have two friends with Crohn's disease, and I have joined this site to try to understand their situation better so I don't say something stupid and to be helpful, if I can. It sounds like this is something you can't "cure". I've done a little research and it sounds like there are treatments. But, I'll be listening to see what are the most effective things people have done to address their condition. I hope to be more understanding and perhaps even enlightened so I can either help my friends, or at least be more empathetic. Thank you!

 

[NancyHany]

Hello and welcome to the forum

You are being a great friend, I wish my friend would do half the effort you are doing to understand more about Crohn's. As you read it's a chronic disease so it means even people who are in remission for years can flare up again so you really never know.
There are many treatments currently available for Crohn's, the effectiveness of the treatment varies from a person to another and the severity of the inflammation caused by Crohn's.
Personally, I tried so far Pentasa and steroids and both were quite ineffective and looking to try Remicade after my liver inflammation goes away.
You can help them with their diet while every Crohn's patient can or cant eat varies but still you have the obvious things to cut out like junk food or processed food. It would be great if my friends when going out to eat chose a place with more healthy options.
An active Crohn's drains your energy as well, so don't feel upset if they weren't up to go out all the time it's neither you or them it's the disease. Organize a movie night with healthy snacks for them, they would appreciate that.

Visit them at home, we don't feel good always and will always have something around the house we will need help with. Let me tell you one of my friends washed my dishes cause I was too dizzy and I almost cried in joy.

After all just be patient with them,we have days of ups and downs. Again you are being a great friend for wanting to know more, they are lucky to have you.

 

[Hobbes650]

Nancy has great advice. After being diagnosed when I was 18, I would go out to eat with my friends but I could never really eat the same things and it was very discouraging for me. I would suggest when eating out together, suggest places that offer a wide variety of food choices. At that time, I was very sick and stayed away from dairy, ruffage and fried food- which 18 year olds eat a lot of. Don't feel too bad if your friend chooses not to eat at places you go. It's a learning process for your friend too. Your friend may want to start keeping a food journal to help keep track- it all gets overwhelming. I was very restrictive with my diet and I'm not sure how much good that did me since nothing I tried seemed to help, and ultimately needed a bowel rest.

Good luck with everything!
Hobbes650

 

[Justme:)]

you are being such a great friend!
Some of the things I would say affect my social life/time with my friends the most are:

1. Side affects- your friends might be taking different medications for their crohns disease, some of which are likely to have side affects. This can mean they might be irritable at times, have mood swings, feel either drowsy or they can't sleep or they might even be feeling insecure about a change in appearance brought on by medication. It is important just to be aware and considerate of these things.

2. Food- Your friends might have to change their diet to facilitate foods that contain little fibre/sugar/ dairy or whatever foods they find affect them negatively. Keep their diet in mind when choosing places to visit/ eat or when buying presents on birthdays or christmas - aka you probably shouldn't buy them chocolates or sweets!

3. going out- If you are going out with your friends for example to a concert or a party, be aware that your friends might be anxious about the availability of bathrooms, particularly if they are experiencing a flare. This might mean that they have to go home early if they are feeling unwell and may not be able to stay over at a friends house. you can help them by visiting places where bathroom accessibility isn't a problem and going home with them afterwards if they need to go home. (btw, I am a college student so this scenario is very typical for me- staying at people's houses after a party may not be relevant to you!)

4. Energy- as the other replies have already said, your friends may have very little energy at times, try and facilitate this the best you can

 

[rygon]

Hi and welcome ot the forum, Hope we can help.

If theres any questions just ask away

 

[Angrybird]

Hello and welcome to the forum :bigwave: Really pleased that you are taking the time to learn about what your friends are going through. There is a lot of helpful info here and please do not panic over some of the things you read here - we are all different on how this disease behaves so what happens to one person will not necessarily happen to another.

Keep up the good work hun, you are being a great friend

AB
xx

 

[Brenmichelle]

Ok, I saw one thing on Wikipedia that said that "conjugated linoleic acid" helps. What do you think? The other question I had was, since they are sensitive to foods you mentioned, like milk and fatty foods (I guess they make acids when they break down?), what about enzyme/digestive supplements? I use something because I am lactose intolerant. Are those kinds of digestive colon things supportive, or would they be bad for people taking prescription medicines for Crohn's? Are there any foods that are anti-inflammatory, or does the stomach just make everything acidic? My friend just got out of a colonoscopy and she has lesions and even a blockage (poor thing). Does Crohn's only affect the lower colon, or does it also mess up how well you can digest and absorb food, like can it cause malnourishment, or is it more of a bowel/elimination problem? I had a colonoscopy last year, and I know how difficult the prep was for me. I only got all that stuff down by sniffing gingerale while swallowing, and then sipping the gingerale to chase the stuff. Then I would take another sip and do it again. It was the only way I could drink that stuff. Do people with Crohn's get liver problems because elimination is harder? Thank you!

 

[Brenmichelle]

you are being such a great friend!
Some of the things I would say affect my social life/time with my friends the most are:

1. Side affects- your friends might be taking different medications for their crohns disease, some of which are likely to have side affects. This can mean they might be irritable at times, have mood swings, feel either drowsy or they can't sleep or they might even be feeling insecure about a change in appearance brought on by medication. It is important just to be aware and considerate of these things.

2. Food- Your friends might have to change their diet to facilitate foods that contain little fibre/sugar/ dairy or whatever foods they find affect them negatively. Keep their diet in mind when choosing places to visit/ eat or when buying presents on birthdays or christmas - aka you probably shouldn't buy them chocolates or sweets!

3. going out- If you are going out with your friends for example to a concert or a party, be aware that your friends might be anxious about the availability of bathrooms, particularly if they are experiencing a flare. This might mean that they have to go home early if they are feeling unwell and may not be able to stay over at a friends house. you can help them by visiting places where bathroom accessibility isn't a problem and going home with them afterwards if they need to go home. (btw, I am a college student so this scenario is very typical for me- staying at people's houses after a party may not be relevant to you!)

4. Energy- as the other replies have already said, your friends may have very little energy at times, try and facilitate this the best you can

Aha...energy and mood swings. I hadn't thought about issues with going out or desserts. So much of my socializing revolves around food/going out, that's a good point. The point on chocolate (which is my fav) is also pertinent. I'll have to think more about how to cheer her up. There must be something we can share together that is good for her. I'm pretty good about anything.

Thank you...good thoughts.

 

[Brenmichelle]

"Your friend may want to start keeping a food journal to help keep track- it all gets overwhelming. I was very restrictive with my diet and I'm not sure how much good that did me since nothing I tried seemed to help, and ultimately needed a bowel rest."

That's a good thought. She has a smart phone. Sounds like it might be easier to just take a picture of whatever she's going to eat, then put a note with the photo if it gave her problems. She lives where they serve a LOT of spicy food.

 

[Susan2]

You sound like a great friend to have, Brenmichelle.

When I go out with friends to a restaurant that only serves spicy food (or other foods that I can't eat), I order a large serving of rice. Then I might put a couple of pieces of something on top that I don't end up eating, but that make it less obvious. The best thing that a friend can do in that situation is to help divert attention away from what I am eating. Don't let others go on with: "Is that all you are eating? Are you sure that you don't want anything else?" etc. Try to change the subject so the attention is on yourself or someone else.