What do I tell employers?

[AgB621]

Luckily, I won't be seriously entering the workforce for some time yet, but I do want to do an internship this summer and depending on where my life takes me, I may want to do some sort of on-campus job (research assistant or what have you) next year. But I know myself, and I know that the night before I start the internship (which will most likely involve a cross-country move), I'll be lucky to sleep for more than a couple of restless hours, and lack of sleep causes all sorts of crappiness. Stomach cramps, generalized anxiety, D, nausea...last time I didn't get enough sleep, I had to fight off dry heaves. Not the kind of stuff I want going on my first day on a new job! I desperately want to keep all of this as separate as possible from any job or internship I do, but I've had stuff like that backfire in the past. For example, I was a nanny a couple of summers ago, and I didn't mention that I have a serious phobia of throwing up because I sincerely hoped it wouldn't be a problem. But, a bug did come up in the family, and I had to tell my employer about the phobia when she asked me to watch the baby, the one family member who didn't seem sick. I felt really bad about it and later she told me that I should have told her about it before. (Frankly, it might just be the case that it's perfectly appropriate to refuse to care for a kid when everyone in his family is sick, he could be pre-symptomatic or carrying it...and as it turned out, I got the bug anyway. But that's a different story.) It might be easier if I could explicitly say that I have this or that, but no diagnosis makes it even trickier. I don't want to scare off an employer, but when I'm stressed out and having trouble sleeping and feeling sick, it's made so much worse if I know I have obligations the next day. In college, I can usually tell myself that it's okay if I miss a class the next day, and just giving myself the option helps me feel better and makes it easier to deal when I'm feeling sick. But I can't do that with a job. And I don't know how a cross-country move is going to affect me either. I'm planning on getting there at least two weeks before the internship starts if I can so I have time to settle in and adjust, but our best intentions are still often thwarted by uncooperative systems. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[AgB621]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Yeah, I'm a long way off from the "real" working world, and whatever career I finally do end up in, I knew myself well enough even before being sick that I don't want to have a boss, I want to work for myself and make my own schedule.

An internship is a little tricky though, because it's only 8-12 weeks to begin with, so missing a few days is a pretty big deal. Plus the fact that I'm moving across the country right before I begin it makes me nervous that there's likely to be a problem. I remember other people on the forum saying that moves will cause a flare, and knowing myself and my intense anxiety disorder, I wouldn't be surprised if I got sick when I moved. I'm planning on trying to get there at least two weeks in advance, but I don't know if that will be enough if I start to flare.

I am pretty good at taking care of my health at least, or I try to be. I've had chronic fatigue for so long, it's hard for me to really overdo it in the first place. And being bipolar has prepared me pretty well. If I feel a crisis brewing, I've gotten pretty good at taking the short and long term view of things. I'd rather take off a day or two of classes and deal with whatever's going on right now, than push myself through them and exacerbate the situation. That's equally true for the Crohn's (if that is what I have, omg so frustrating!)

 

[Reese1603]

An internship that makes you move might be a problem. I know for me, stress makes my symptoms MUCH worse. For example, when I transferred to a new college, I was sick every morning for a month until I got used to everything, found my way around campus, etc.

I suggest maybe moving a few weeks before you start your internship?

My boss is pretty lenient...although I only work at a convenience store. My boss knew only because my diagnosis happened while I was working there - I didn't have to deal with "telling" him at the interview. Also, I don't miss work for being sick usually. Actually, in almost five years of being at that job, I've only called in three times.

I do miss for doctors appointments and procedures, but I always tell him ahead of time like, "hey, I have a procedure next tuesday, I won't be in..." and he usually finds someone else to cover me or will schedule me some other shift. Then again, I don't work a m-f 9-5 job either.

Unless I am throwing up or can't walk, I go to work even when I am feeling sick. Its not fun - but I think not having a job would be worse.

I graduate in two years with an Elementary Education degree....I am not sure what I will do then...because you can't just leave your classroom to go use the bathroom every time you have a case of diarrhea! But I will cross that bridge when I get to it!!!!

 

[My Butt Hurts]

I graduate in two years with an Elementary Education degree....I am not sure what I will do then...because you can't just leave your classroom to go use the bathroom every time you have a case of diarrhea! But I will cross that bridge when I get to it!!!!

Reese, a lot of elementary schools have bathrooms right in the classroom. You might want to make that a priority when applying. You could even call the school and just ask before applying, you wouldn't have to identify yourself.
My classroom is directly across the hall from the teacher's bathroom. Some girls on the hall supply the soap, I supply the air spray! Mmmm.... clean linen... *sniff*.

 

[AgB621]

I do have every intention of moving as long before the internship starts as possible, three weeks or more if I can. But despite our best intentions, sometimes nature just fails us. I can take perfect care of myself, look back and say for certain, there's nothing I could have done better, and still end up in crisis. That's why I feel compelled to say something about it, I have a horrible anxiety/panic disorder, which doesn't do well for my symptoms. There's a very good chance that the night before I begin the internship, I won't sleep and lack of sleep is the worst thing for me. The last time I didn't sleep enough, I had to fight off dry heaves. I can't have that happen on my first day on the job.

 

[Babe123]

find a way to relax. you dont have to tell your employers anythin.. but they may be understanding of how you feel on your first day if you jsut mention that you have anxiety.

ever since becoming ill with whatever i have i have really bad anxiety problems.. even if its just going somewhere i dont know i start feeling sick an dget stomach cramps then i have to run to the toilet. it helped me alot by explaining to people i was with about it. i didnt tell them about whatevers up with me to do with crohns/IBS ( whichever one i have) i just told them about the anxiety. when i started my new job they were really understanding. x

 

[Nikki Lynn]

Agb621 I feel your situation. I just started a new internship Jan. 1 09. I however didn't have to move.

I told the administrative assistant that I work with about my Crohn's. I explained that currently and 90% I'm completely fine. I told her because I didn't want any of them to be alarmed if I called and said I was in the ER or hospital for surgery because it would just be part of the disease.

I didn't tell anyone else, but I just wanted them to know in case some serious complications came up with my disease!

Good luck!

 

[daisy_dueller]

I would tell them...not for their benefit, but for yours...maybe wait till you actually work there though...then they can't rule you out because of the time you may or may not need off.

If you're running to the bathroom every 15 minutes for a few days...they're probably going to ask what's up...I find it much easier to be up front and honest than try to remember the little fibs I told

they may be more understanding than you think...alot of people these days seem to know someone with the disease, and will be perfectly fine with it. But I do think that you need to tell them...if you need to miss a day, at least you have a logical reason for that. I know in iternships a couple of days is a big deal...but your health is an even bigger deal

I hope you start to feel better about this situation...try and stay calm and stress-free through this process. I know it seems like a silly thing to say when you have anxiety already, but if you're constantly thinking about it, it's hard to not stress out.

 

[Mark33180]

AS was stated in the first response, Legally they can't deny you a job or fire you because of the Americans with Disability act. Also it is covered under FMLA Family Medical Leave. So what i have done in the past is wait untill after i was hired to inform them of the situation and let them know that it is covered under FMLA and that (me personally) won't take any FMLA days unless absolutly needed. and just make sure they understand that there are somedays that you must have a restroom, and don't have an option to wait. Might want to check with you local Crohns and colitas foundation chapters, but the one here in louisiana has a "I can't wait" card, basically it allows you access to a bathroom anytime with no disciplinary action. seen a guy run into a store with only private bathroom and just ran into their bathroom. They called the cops when they showed up he gave them the card and they just let him go because it was a medical emergency. Just a thought. But be nice to your supervisor and work with HR and you should have no problems.

 

[daisy_dueller]

AS was stated in the first response, Legally they can't deny you a job or fire you because of the Americans with Disability act. Also it is covered under FMLA Family Medical Leave. So what i have done in the past is wait untill after i was hired to inform them of the situation and let them know that it is covered under FMLA and that (me personally) won't take any FMLA days unless absolutly needed. and just make sure they understand that there are somedays that you must have a restroom, and don't have an option to wait. Might want to check with you local Crohns and colitas foundation chapters, but the one here in louisiana has a "I can't wait" card, basically it allows you access to a bathroom anytime with no disciplinary action. seen a guy run into a store with only private bathroom and just ran into their bathroom. They called the cops when they showed up he gave them the card and they just let him go because it was a medical emergency. Just a thought. But be nice to your supervisor and work with HR and you should have no problems.

They can't deny you the job because of Crohn's...but they could find some other excuse to pawn it off on...