Blocking Crohn's-related Memories

[Mehita]

As many of you know, 2013 was a pretty horrible year for DS and his Crohn's. Stricture w vomiting, pain, surgery, constant nausea, abscess, fistula, three hospital stays, and on and on and on.

Last night he told me he doesn't remember much. He said he's blocked it all out. He doesn't remember the resection surgery stay at all. I asked if he remembered the Foley catheter... who could forget that? Nope. He knows he had one, but doesn't remember what it felt like or when it came out (which was a big drama). I asked if he remembered his best friend coming to visit him and playing cards. Nope. I even have a picture of them and that didn't trigger anything. Okay, three male nurses and dad holding him down for an enema? Nope. All he kind of remembers is me crying next to him, but he couldn't 100% relate it to the enema.

Should I be concerned that he really seems to have blocked some of this stuff from his mind? I totally understand why he would, but is it healthy to do so?

Have any of your kids done this?

Couple of side notes... he was 11 & 12 years old through a lot of this. For the surgery, he had an epidural, so no moriphine or mind altering kinds of pain meds. Quite a bit of Benedryl though that made him sleepy. He's a very intelligent kid. Gifted, honors programs, etc and generally has a very good memory, so I can only attribute this to him choosing not to remember.

 

[Maya142]

My daughter did this too. The year she was diagnosed with arthritis she had just started 6th grade at a new school and was pretty miserable and then on top of everything was diagnosed. She doesn't remember having her knee aspirated three times! Or the cortisone shots she had in her knee and elbow. She's even blocked out relatively good memories from that time - like going on vacation to the beach. I just sort of assumed it was natural - I have no idea if it's good or not but I'll ask her psychologist when we next see her.

 

[Gmama]

I think this is totally normal and actually really good that they block stuff out. My daughter almost died, she had toxic shock, was in the ICU for 9 days, hospital for 12. They said we will never know what caused it, or how to prevent it. She remembered going to the hospital and the very last night she was there, but nothing in the middle.

 

[imaboveitall]

Yep, Violet remembers little from the time around diagnosis and just after, when she was near death. And she has excellent long term memory in general recalls events from when a small child, little things from years past.
Her short term memory has declined since getting sick, though. Drives her crazy.

 

[SupportiveMom]

Thanks for sharing this thread. Dani also blocked things out too. It is a coping mechanism and common when faced with traumatic events. I agree with you Kim, I wish I could forget those moments I feared we were losing her when her kidneys & pancreas started to shut down. I also keep them in the back of my head for when things start going poorly that I fight back sooner so I hope we and everyone else here never get to that place again!

 

[kimmidwife]

I agree that this simply may be a normal coping mechanism for him. I wish us parents could do the same!

 

[ProudMom]

My daughter couldn't remember much about her 43 days of being in the hospital or her 3 resections while she was in there. Nor does she remember much about how she felt prior to going in and she was really sick! She was 15 at the time. A few years later she started randomly remembering things about it.
I am with you Kim, wish we could block all of it out. Especially the times when they looked at you , with the look of "help me mom" and there wasn't a thing you can do.

 

[Catherine]

Sarah doesn't remember how sick she actually was.

I wish her sisters were the same. Their memories of that time are very clear.

 

[DustyKat]

I too think it be would absolutely normal Mehita. :ghug:

I can well imagine my kids have blocked out much of they have been through as not to would be tormenting I think.

When Matt went to see the general surgeon about his hernia op the doc looked at his abdomen and asked…

Where did you have that done?

Matt - In Sydney.

Doc - Okay. But what hospital?

Matt - I don’t know.

Bear in mind, Matt was 17, spent a total of 5 weeks there, walked in and out the front door I don’t know how many times and refuses to watch the documentary/reality TV program based at the hospital and bears the hospitals name…RPA! :lol:

Dusty. xxx

 

[Axelfl3333]

The blocking thing is a natural defence for everyone otherwise we,d all go nuts.i had an unfortunate experience after after an orthopedic procedure on my right elbow.my sister told me I asked a nurse to cut my arm off in casualty!it must be a coping mechanism we all have to blank out horrible experiences,thank goodness!
P.s I,ve still got the arm!

 

[Stephyjane]

When my daughter gets asked about how she felt during the time she was really sick, she says she can't remember anything. The only thing that has stuck with her is the awful experience with an ng tube.
I think its a good thing that they mentally block things out bless them, and I agree, I wish I could block it out too.

Steph

 

[Jenn]

Interesting, my son too doesn't really remember his hospital stay or many details of all he's been through. But he's also really not with a good memory for vacations or other events, unless I trigger it with a picture or something. Don't know if it's Crohn's or the meds or just who he is.