Cant. Get. Out. Of Bed.

[Dereksmagic]

I have so many ambitions. I want a life again, I want to get out, I want a social Life, I want to work and make money, I want friends, I want to start working out again, I want to travel, I want a life. I have all these things I have been laying around in bed wanting to do. But when it comes down to doing something, I don't want to move.

I'll be feeling in a good mood, and I'll talk to friends and make plans to go out on the weeked, and with each day passing and the weekend getting closer, I feel tired, and miserable, and I think about how tiring it will be to get up, get dressed, go out, socialise, being worried about using the bathroom etc etc, so I end up canceling at the last min.

I want to start trying to get in shape again, I have a weight set in my house, But then I just lay in bed all day and put it off for another time.

I want to try and get back onto a sleep schedule, I want to get up at 8am, 9am, whatever. And have something to do duing that I enjoy, even more so, A reason to WANT to get out of bed, instead of just doing a job or working, but something that I actually look forward to doing. But the night before, 2am, cant sleep, so I take an ambian, 3am, still wide awake, take a valume, 5am, still wide awake, take a couple generic sleep aids, another half a valume, and another half a sleeping pill. Somewhere around 6-7am I finally pass out, Then I wake up a 2,3,4pm. There goes my day.

I use to be a magician, I use to be out 2-3-4 times a week at night performing magic at bars, restaurants, gigs, anywhere. I would go to this place in LA called the Magic Castle and hang out. I want to do that now, but I don't have a suit that fits from losing weight, so I need money to buy a new suit, Tried selling a set of subwoofers to get the money for one.... Which havn't sold yet, I need money to get out and meet people to get magic gigs to make money. its a never working ciricle. And lets say I was laying here on my couch, wearing a brand new suit, gas in my car, ready to go. Im tired, and I don't have any confidence.

How do I get back to where I use to be? "take small steps" OK? Whats that mean? How do I do that? How do I prioritize what I want to do, How do I make money to be able to do what I want to do to make money? How do I get motivated again? Have energy to go out, work out, have a life, have a drive to want to do things again?

Regardless of what it is, wanting something, wanting to buy something, do something, go somewhere, anything. All I end up doing is laying in bed, making lists on my computer of stuff I want to do, never being able to find the energy/drive/motivation to actually get up and do it, or at least start doing something small more and more every day. I wouldn't even know what to start with. So just start with anything right? Wrong. What if its the wrong thing? Maybe I should be focusing on something else? Maybe I'll start it and not want to do it anymore.

Plus, I have my dad in the background and all he can keep saying is I need to get back to life again, I need a job. Get a job. Money money money. Well, yeah, but "Money" doesn't make me motivated to want to get out of bed or to wake up in the morning. Money for what? Push myself and feel miserable to make just enough money to move out again and pay rent again? So exciting. How about starting with finding a reason to want to even get up in the morning to create drive. Nope. I dunno. No help there.

Ugh... Crohns has killed the old ambitious entrepreneur I use to be. Now I just lay here, wishing I could do or have things.

I dont know what to do. I. CANT. GET. OUT. OF. BED.

 

[worriedboy]

Hi There,

I am so sorry to hear about our condition; from your post it looks as you are in a bad mental shape. You no longer find the ambition to start "from scratch" and build yourself from the lowest place. That's totally understandable.

1) Do NOT think about how you will fulfill what you want once you got a suit and a car. You will figure this out once you have them. That's what it means one step at a time. The car and the suit, for that matter, is now the goal itself.

2) You got to get this sleep disorder treated right away. NO surprise that you cannot get out of bed. Your body needs proper sleep. Did you talk to your doctor about it ? Or managed to visit a sleep clinic ?

3) I got a book to recommend: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man's_Search_for_Meaning
It's not an easy book at all, but I believe it can provide you a lot.


Hope you feel much better soon, dear.

 

[Tuff]

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. My first thought was, depression. Then I looked up your meds. That's some powerful stuff you're on. It could be the fentanyl. Somnolence, asthenia, anxiety, depression. It would be a good idea to tell your doctor how you're feeling.

Fentanyl's most common side-effects (more than 10% of patients) include diarrhea, nausea, constipation, dry mouth, somnolence, confusion, asthenia (weakness), and sweating and, less frequently (3 to 10% of patients), abdominal pain, headache, fatigue, anorexia and weight loss, dizziness, nervousness, hallucinations, anxiety, depression, flu-like symptoms, dyspepsia (indigestion), dyspnea (shortness of breath), hypoventilation, apnea, and urinary retention. Fentanyl use has also been associated with aphasia.[3]

 

[UnXmas]

I can't say if this is the right thing for you to start with, but I think I would start with trying to get good sleep: get up early. If you don't have anything to get up early for, get up for the sake of getting up early, or for a good breakfast, or for going outside when no one else is up yet and it's peaceful. Or get up early so you can sleep well at night.

Try different sleep meds. I'm hesitant to suggest this, but do you think antidepressants might help? I'm hesitant because antidepressants have helped me, but I also know that a mental health label on your medical record can lead to discrimination from doctors. But there are some antidepressants that are also prescribed for sleep, which means you avoid the mental health label, you get a diagnosis of imsomnia instead.

Do you have anyone to help motivate you? It's easier to go out and do things if you have someone going out and doing things with you. Along with getting into a sleep routine, you could make a plan of eating and exercising, showering, cooking, shopping. These may make you feel better about yourself.

For some people, a pet can be a good motivation. They give you something to get up for. But then you really do have to get up, the pet is your responsibility, so you do have to think hard beforehand about whether that is something you can do.

I don't think you necessarily have to start with just small things though. If there is something fairly significant you know you want to do - e.g. doing magic again - you could begin trying to make that a reality if you think it will help you.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

I completely relate I'm a young guy and my life has been completely devastated by chronic pain and fatigue. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and there aren't very good treatment options for it. Don't blame yourself but try to find a good ME/CFS specialist who deals with treating this disorder. This is beyond crohns fatigue and a gastro can't help this. They can only help vitamin deficiencies as they relate to IBD but know little to nothing about chronic fatigue syndrome.

 

[24601]

Hi! I just wanted to send my support your way. These are not easy issues to deal with and you're not alone in experiencing feelings like this - please don't feel like you are at fault here! I think others have made some really good suggestions and it does sound like dealing with your fatigue and in particular your sleep disorder is a good place to start.

I was just wondering, is your Crohn's well controlled right now? What are your inflammation levels like? And your symptoms? And how well are you able to eat? I wouldn't rule out Crohn's contributing in large part to your fatigue.

Also, I totally understand that the things you want to achieve seem overwhelmingly hard. But what about filming some magic tricks at home and putting them on youtube? That way you don't need a suit or a car or to get anywhere at a certain time. Maybe that way you can regain a little bit of your passion and the old you. It would give you at least a reason to get out of bed and if you get lots of views you'll earn some money too. But I think it would serve a purpose even without that.

Good luck!

 

[CrohnsMedicalStudent]

Derek,

Is your fatigue and not wanting to get out of bed due to uncontrolled pain or just plain feeling tired?

Unfortunately, you are on a pretty substantial dose of opioids and chlordiazepoxide is actually a benzodiazepine, which will also cause you to feel tired and sluggish.

I'm not sure how long you've been on these meds, but all of these together can certainly make you feel tired.

Let me know what you think...if you don't think it's the medication, perhaps your inflammation may be uncontrolled. I know I feel absolutely exhausted when I'm flaring, and my joints hurt like crazy, so I take my pain medication, which worsens the fatigue.

Take care, and I hope to hear from you!