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I had my walk on the forest path, it was mostly nice. The paved part of the path was fine. I went a bit further today, there's a point where the paved path turns into a gravel path and that part has been icy for awhile now so I've avoided it up for the most part. Today it was more slushy than icy and I was wearing my boots, so I wandered down it for a bit. And I stumbled onto something odd! Well into the woods, fairly far from houses or roads, right in the middle of the path, was a large... thing. It was like a giant ball made from ice and snow and gravel and mud, I think. Like the base of a huge snowman but also containing a lot of gravel and mud. It was gigantic and just sitting smack dab in the middle of the path. I presume either teenagers or gigantic dung beetles made it. :p I took a photo of it (I always bring my camera on walks just in case) because it was so odd!

My favorite singer and one of my personal heroes is Utada Hikaru, and awhile back she had temporarily walked away from her music career because she had no independence. She was super sheltered by her record agency from her teen years onward, and by the time she was nearly 30, she realized she really had no idea how to be an adult or how to do a lot of normal things. She was talking in an interview about how the straw that broke the camel's back was that she had gone on vacation. She went out to the countryside, and she had no idea what to do while she was out there. So she asked some people, and she was told that it's nice to take a walk in the country. So every day, she took a walk, and every day she had a new experience on her walks, it was like a new adventure every day. She had never done that before, she had never just gone for a walk before, and she said that it was such a simple thing that most people take for granted, but for her it was something new and it showed her that she had to learn what other things there were to being an adult and to go out and have other adventures and become an independent adult. So I always think of Utada when I walk (and usually listen to her music on my ipod too), but I especially think of her when I see odd things on my walks like that giant slush-mud-gravel ball! I think she'd be proud of me and my little adventure today, ha ha. :)

She has a song called "Nijikan dake no vacance" which means "A 2-hour vacation". I love that thought - just get away for a couple of hours, away from humanity, go out into the woods for a long walk. A couple hours (or even one hour) is all you really need to refresh yourself and your mind. I try to go on a nijikan dake no vacance whenever I get the chance.
 
I totally agree Cat...I love nature and wildlife and the complete silence except for birds and maybe a babbling brook.I don't mind hubby being there because we're on the same wavelength.
 
I'm not feeling great this morning. I had a different supplement drink this morning than usual and I think it upset me (I usually do ProNourish but I ran out today and had Boost instead). I took a zofran which has kicked in now and I'm doing better than I was earlier, but still not feeling quite like my normal self. I'm still aiming to go to the gym today. If I'm not feeling well enough by mid-day then I'll scrap the lunch hour workout and aim to do an evening workout instead. And in the meantime I'm being gentle on myself, going to eat lightly and blandly and drink as much water as I can, etc.
 
Ughh. I might be feeling worse (at least not any better) as the day has gone on. Definitely skipping the gym today, and I came home sick from work after a few hours too. Trying to rest with my heating pad but it's just making me feel overheated. Still no pain, so I still don't think it's a pred taper fail. But I'm also questioning whether it's more than just Boost upsetting me at this point. A co-worker said she was also not feeling well today so maybe there's a bug going around? I don't know, it doesn't really feel like a bug either. It just feels like #$%& IBD rearing its ugly head for whatever reason. I'm frustrated! I don't know why this is happening and I like to have a reason for things. And I hate skipping going to the gym when I've been doing so well. Ugh!
 
So my theory now is that this is my adrenal glands grumbling at me (and the adrenals can also cause belly issues) because of the pred taper. My adrenal glands haven't had to work in months, and now that I'm down to 5 mg pred, they've had to start producing some cortisol again and they're unhappy about that, hence the symptoms and tiredness. That makes more sense to me than taper fail, a bug, or Boost causing this. I slept really well last night but still feel tired today, so it makes sense to me that it might be my adrenals doing this.

At any rate, I'm staying home today and resting some more, and won't exercise for a little while. Will listen to my body and give it what it needs, which right now is rest. I am less frustrated today with not exercising, because at least now I feel like I am on the right track of knowing what is causing this and what to do to recover. I need to taper very carefully now - I might give myself more than a week from here on out to taper down, so that I don't stress out my adrenal glands too much. I see my GI next week so I will discuss this with him then. I'll start back up with some gentle exercise (walking) when I am feeling better and up for it. In the meantime I'll rest and skip workouts for now.
 
At this point it seems like it most likely is a taper fail, as I'm still feeling awful. So I went back up to 6 mg today. I see my GI on Monday and am going to ask him about how to taper without symptoms (if such a thing is even possible).

I've been off sick since Tuesday morning and in my pajamas the whole time. Fitness has been far from my mind as I'm just trying to recover from this taper fail. I love pred but I also hate it so much! I just want to be off of it. I feel like I'm so close and yet so far. Just like everything else in my life, I'm in limbo. Close to being off of pred but still on it. Close to remission but still flaring when I have a taper fail. Close to a diagnosis but still undiagnosed. Just ugh. I'm so frustrated.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
At this point it seems like it most likely is a taper fail, as I'm still feeling awful. So I went back up to 6 mg today. I see my GI on Monday and am going to ask him about how to taper without symptoms (if such a thing is even possible).

I've been off sick since Tuesday morning and in my pajamas the whole time. Fitness has been far from my mind as I'm just trying to recover from this taper fail. I love pred but I also hate it so much! I just want to be off of it. I feel like I'm so close and yet so far. Just like everything else in my life, I'm in limbo. Close to being off of pred but still on it. Close to remission but still flaring when I have a taper fail. Close to a diagnosis but still undiagnosed. Just ugh. I'm so frustrated.
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We could be sick buddies, seriously. I had my tonsils taken out thru scheduled surgery on Tuesday morning at 8:30am and have been feeling horrible ever since. As if the abdominal surgery in October wasn't bad enough, this affects how I eat, drink, swallow, and talk. I'm on FMLA for 2 weeks but I'm thinking, at this point, that it will probably take longer than that so I may have to extend the FMLA period. I know it might be a bit premature, but I know my own body and 1 week for the last surgery wasn't long enough so I extended it to 2 weeks. I'm thinking 3 weeks might be the best.

Anyway, I hate that the prednisone taper is making you feel so yucky. I used to hate being on steroids for my asthma (also prednisone) and outright refused it when my PCP asked if I wanted to try steroids (thankfully, the Singulair I requested did the trick). I hope your GI will work with you and find a good plan. It seems ironic, doesn't it? The LDN was doing such a good job before and now your body has to play catch-up. You might want to see if your doctor thinks it's OK to take a supplement like AdrenaSense. It contains herbs so make sure it doesn't interact with your medications. Being on steroids for a long time can push you into Cushing's Syndrome so it might be a good idea if your doctor checks to see how much cortisol is in your bloodstream. Too much can make you sick and cause fatigue.

I hope you feel better soon. :)
 
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Thanks, MissLeopard. I hope you feel better soon too. I've been eating very lightly and blandly (yesterday I had toast and a few animal crackers, so far today I've had a few bites of mac & cheese and a few potato chips) and I think that's helping. Mornings are worse for me when I'm having symptoms, the bulk of my nausea and bathroom trips and just feeling unwell seem to happen during the morning hours. So now that it's afternoon, I'm feeling a bit better. I presume that going back up to 6 mg pred is helping as well. I did go back to work today, and it's been so busy that I've been at least somewhat distracted from my guts by how busy I've been.

I seem to recall that Jennifer had her tonsils taken out not too long ago so I just searched and found her thread about that. Scroll down to post #25 and that's where she starts talking about her experience. She didn't have totally smooth sailing with her experience either so maybe her thread will give you some hope that feeling this poorly shouldn't last too much longer.

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=43407

And yeah, I am familiar with Cushing's and its counterpart Addison's disease - when I was first sick, my GI had me tested for Addison's as some of my symptoms fit and I had a really good response to a low dose of pred (10 mg) - apparently Addison's can cause some digestive symptoms and weight loss, and the ideal dose of pred for it is something like 7.5 mg, but it turns out I do not have Addison's. I definitely know that I don't want to be on steroids for longer than necessary and my GI agrees, now we just have to get my stupid broken body to agree with us too. ;) A girl who used to be active on the forum, she's my friend on facebook and she's on pred for Behcet's disease. She told me that she's been tapering her pred like this - she'd do 6 mg one day, 5 mg the next, then 6 again, then 5, and so on, alternating for a few weeks before going down to 5 and staying there. Then alternating between 5 and 4, and so on. She said that's been working much better for her than just going from 6 mg to 5. And then Jennifer chimed in and suggested that I try cutting my 1 mg tablets in half and going from 6 mg to 5.5. So those are both feasible options and I'm going to ask my GI about that at my appointment on Monday. I'll ask about that supplement, too, I haven't heard of that one before.

In the meantime, the plan is to rest. I don't have any plans at all for the weekend and I had hubby hook up the playstation 3 so that I can play Katamari Forever. :) If I'm feeling better then I will probably take the dog out for a short walk, but I'm not going to push myself at all. The most strenuous thing I'll do all weekend probably is grocery shop.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
I seem to recall that Jennifer had her tonsils taken out not too long ago so I just searched and found her thread about that. Scroll down to post #25 and that's where she starts talking about her experience. She didn't have totally smooth sailing with her experience either so maybe her thread will give you some hope that feeling this poorly shouldn't last too much longer.

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=43407
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The day that the tonsillectomy was performed was terrible. I threw up 3 times which is agony on an already sore throat. I think it was because of the anesthesia, Dilaudid in the PACU, and the Hycet my doctor gave me for post-surgery pain (liquid Vicodin - combo Tylenol and Hydrocodone). Vicodin did wonders for my last surgery in October, so I'm glad this doctor gave me the same thing, but I notice when I am almost due for another dose as my throat gets REALLY sore and it's difficult to swallow. I combat it with a Sucret drop and an ice pack on the throat. I've been trying to sleep with a humidifier, too, so my throat stays nice and moist. Dehydration increases the chance of bleeding.

Yesterday was the worst in terms of pain, which was to be expected, because the scabs started to form. Today, however, was the first time I ran a fever of 100.2. It fortunately went back down after taking the Hycet dose (it was due) and sleeping some more. There is definitely no shortage of sleep in my recovery. The Hycet is so strong that about 30 minutes after taking it, it's difficult to keep my eyes open. I bought stuff before the surgery to keep myself busy with and haven't done a thing because I cannot concentrate long enough (I have Perler beads, cross-stitch kits, a paint-by-numbers set, coloring books, etc) but that's normal.

Anyway, I'm glad I had those nasty tonsils out. The ENT doctor told my mom afterward that they were FULL of stones, even though I couldn't see them. I know they had horrible looking wart-like growths on them and were full of holes, but I had been drinking carbonated beverages to keep them as clear as possible. They had been causing problems for almost 2 years but I recently got health insurance in the last year. The first ENT I saw didn't even care what was going on so my PCP sent me to another ENT for a 2nd opinion. He said we should get rid of them since antibiotics didn't help and my tonsils were enlarged (he wrote hypertrophic tonsils on the diagnosis sheet). I'm hoping this will help with the chronic coughing and trying to clear my throat.
 
I'm doing better, the 6 mg pred has definitely kicked back in. The weekend was slightly rough, particularly Saturday - we were going to drive about 45 mins each way to drop off a sewing machine for my niece. I knew I had to eat something beforehand. So I had a small bowl of oatmeal with some kiwi fruit. My guts were very unsure about digesting that, and as a result, I had cramps the whole drive there (they finally let up on the way home). Same thing with dinner, I had some salmon and my guts gave me some cramping after that too. But, the cramping didn't lead to urgency nor bathroom trips. It was just standalone cramps.

Sunday I felt better, I had a slight bit of cramping when I first woke up in the morning, but after having a bowel movement, I didn't have any further cramps and I was able to eat without issue. I also was able to walk the dog, which felt great. It was quite cold out, it was maybe 20 F and breezy so the wind felt very cold. Lily of course loved it though, she loves the cold weather and snow.

Today no cramps, although I felt a little iffy when I woke up - some mornings I have nausea, I guess it's like having morning sickness without being pregnant? That fortunately has passed though and I was able to eat a small snack (banana) with no issue. I see my GI this afternoon and we will discuss what to do about my pred taper. Hubby is making a potato dish for dinner which I know is belly-friendly for me. It's supposed to snow, but if the snow hasn't started when I get home from my appointment, then I might take Lily out for a quick walk. I'm hoping to start lifting weights again this week, I just want to make sure I have a plan of attack for the pred taper first and give myself another day or two to recover from the taper fail before I try hitting the gym. In the meantime I'm just going to walk when I can.
 
I've felt a bit iffy too this weekend.Just goes to show that we can't take this darn disease for granted.We had a good afternoon on the bikes on Thursday,but sooo cold,I was glad to get home.We went along the coast again today.Thought we'd make the most of it as the weather is threatening to change for the worst in the next few days.I hope you're appointment goes as you want it to.I know you'll keep us updated.That potato dish sounds tasty,I might google some recipes.
 
I can give you the basics of our potato dish - we take some potatoes (enough to fill a glass baking dish) and peel them and cut them up. Sprinkle with shredded cheese - I use goat cheese as I can't do cow's dairy. Add cooked ground meat - I usually do ground turkey as I don't do beef, but tonight we're adding ground lamb, yum. We also add cooked turkey bacon that we cut up into little bits, and sometimes we add broccoli. And you can add whatever else you like, such as cooked onions if you can handle them, etc. Bake that all until the potatoes are done, add sour cream if you like, and enjoy! It's like a baked potato casserole.

I'm freaking out because there are shakeups at work that I was just told of today, and now nobody knows if we're going to have jobs anymore. We won't find out more until after April 1st so I'm trying to just be calm until then, but I was literally just told of this so currently I'm freaked out and trying not to cry. Hubby and I were planning to do some basement renovations soon (to add a 2nd bathroom to our basement, because our house currently only has one bathroom) but I just texted him and told him to put that on hold as we need to save our money. Ugh ugh ugh. I really hate this. I need my job. Not just for the paycheck but I need my health insurance too!

I know that stressing will only make me feel worse, and as my boss said, there's nothing we can do right now to change anything. So I'm going to do something active tonight to relieve some stress, even if I just end up walking on my treadmill. I'm really hoping to get Lily out for a walk though. I just feel like I need to get outside and away from all this! First though I have to go for my GI appointment. I have to get through that and then I can go home and cry and walk and punch my punching bag and do whatever else I need to do.

It's past 2 PM and I haven't eaten lunch yet. Suddenly I find I have no appetite. Hopefully the lovely smell of baked potato casserole will revive my hunger tonight.
 
That potato dish sounds delish hahaha.Will def.try it soon.
Not good news re: work though,and what a long time to wait with that hanging over you like the sword of Damacles.Sensible not to spend though.
 
Hah, it actually seems to me like a very short time to wait. I've worked for the same company for 14+ years now. About a year after I started working here, the department I was originally in was told that we were being downsized. It took a full 18 months for them to actually downsize us though. So a couple months wait seems like nothing compared to a year and a half that I waited back then.

I'm still nervous, but I feel better today than I did yesterday. I did take Lily on a walk yesterday after my GI appointment. It was snowy and a bit icy, she and I both slipped and slid a bit but fortunately neither of us fell. I'm planning to walk on the forest path today on my lunch hour. I must have slept funny on my left knee, as it's aching today (I suspect I have a bit of arthritis in that knee). But walking doesn't seem to make it worse, so I will walk. I need to get away to the forest for even a brief amount of time. Really looking forward to that!

My GI appointment went mostly fine. We briefly discussed my pred taper and what our goals are (get me off of pred and fully into remission and staying on Lialda and LDN as my maintenance meds) and how to accomplish the pred taper successfully (alternating doses every other day is the plan we're going to try). We were both in agreement about our goals and what to do from here so it was a pretty brief discussion. He saw that we still had more time, so rather than end the appointment early, he said, "How's the rest of your life going? How's work?" Well, of course I had just gotten the news a few hours earlier that we might be losing our jobs, so I immediately started crying. Ugh. My GI is a good doctor, don't get me wrong, but he's typically a very stoic, by the books type of guy. He deals with the gut symptoms and nothing else, he has made it clear in the past by his actions and words that he does not deal with the emotional side of things. But yesterday, he actually leaned in and was like, "What's wrong?" He was genuinely concerned. So I told him a bit and he actually listened, he's never done that before. And he actually tried to help, too - he asked about my skillsets and said that surely I could find another job in a similar company, and I said that I do have some former co-workers at another company and sometimes they even try to recruit me there, so yes, I could go work there if I had to. I think my GI just likes having problems to solve, ha ha. It did make me feel better that he was concerned and wanted to help, he usually just ignores me when I cry in front of him (I've done that many times, I cry pretty easily).

I'm feeling better and better every day and am recovering well from last week's taper flare, and my GI encouraged me to exercise as much as I can. So today's plan is to walk as it's supposed to be a relatively warm day (mid 30s F and no rain). Tomorrow I plan to lift weights, probably in the little gym in the basement at work (I may as well use that gym as much as I can while I still have access, ugh). I don't want to plan things too far in advance just yet, but that's the plan for now.

Oh, and I forgot to add - I did end up going eagle-watching after all, although just briefly. When we drove on Saturday to drop off the sewing machine for my nieces, we drove through the area where the eagles tend to congregate, so we briefly had a look. The river was not frozen over at all, so eagles were nowhere to be seen. As we were leaving town, though, we saw one immature bald eagle perched in a tree (they don't get the white head until they're about 5 years old, they're sort of a mottled dark brown for the first few years and that's known as their immature phase/coloring). So I did see one eagle, yay!
 
That was a good appointment eh.? It's nice that you're both on the same wavelength too.
Have'nt you got grips to put on the soles of your shoes/boots ? They're not very good for impacted shiney ice though,and I don't think they do them for dogs.
I'm glad you've calmed down a wee bit re: your employment.You know what worry and stress do to you and there's not much you can do about the out come.8 wks plus is to long to worry.
 
Hubby has some ice tread things for his boots but I don't like walking with them, they're a bit awkward (I walk awkwardly enough already, I'm a big klutz!). And the ice was pretty shiny. The big issue with the ice was that it was patchy and a light layer of snow had covered everything, so it was hard to see where the ice was. You'd think you were just walking on snow that was on top of pavement, but then there'd be a sneaky patch of ice and suddenly everything was slippery. Poor Lily is awkward at walking as well (corgis are awkward at everything) so we were both skidding around a bit.

And no, Lily wouldn't be caught dead in boots. :p She hates wearing anything aside from her collar, which she loves. When I take her collar off to brush her, she sometimes will pick it up in her mouth and try to get me to put it back on her, ha ha. But she hates wearing anything like dog clothes or shoes. She doesn't even like wearing her harness, although with her odd body shape she needs to wear a harness in order to go on walks. So she will tolerate me putting her harness on but she lowers her head and ears and has the saddest eyes ever as I'm putting it on her. When she was much younger, she got a small wound/infection in her foot that needed to be surgically cleaned out and have a few stitches put in, so we had to keep the foot wrapped up and in a boot for about a week while her incision healed. That was a very challenging week! She had the cone on but she still managed to get the boot and wrapping off about 10 times per day. Fortunately it healed fine and all is well now, but oh my, that was a very frustrating time.

Yeah, I have calmed down, I haven't cried all day today and I'm not even thinking about it that much anymore. Worrying now won't do me any good so I'm just trying to put it out of my mind at least for the time being. I'm going to go on my forest walk shortly and really looking forward to that. Although I'm still planning on only spending money on the essentials for now (groceries, toilet paper, and of course bills such as mortgage, etc). I don't want to buy anything non-essential until the dust settles in a couple months. I know that's going to be a challenge for me as I really enjoy shopping and buying myself treats, but I think I can do it. I just want to sock away as much money as I can right now, that's more important than treats. I feel a bit like a squirrel and there may or may not be a harsh winter coming, so I've got to hoard all my nuts just in case.
 
Of course you have to buy toilet paper hahaha,that's top of the list.
I know you were upset when you first learned of the up and coming work thing,but it's better to talk about it and get it out of your system.Which is why you feel better today (yesterday).You know how valuable the forum is for getting stuff off your chest.
Alfie hated wearing a coat but it was important when he got old and sick.I was so fed up with his miserable face one day,I took it off and hung it on the fence at the local golf course.It was still there two days later so I brought it home,washed it and gave it to the dogs charity.
 
Yes, and I'm still going to buy good quality soft toilet paper, too. Even though I'm trying not to spend, I still refuse to buy cheap thin TP. :p And yeah, I know venting helps me a lot! I think telling my GI about it helped too. And we're working on solutions already - hubby ideally should have a job that offers health insurance, so that we could both be on his insurance if I do lose my job. So he's been applying for some jobs.

Hopefully Lily won't have to wear a coat when she's old. Her fur is very thick, she is one of those dogs that has a "double coat" (thick undercoat and thick overcoat of fur). She sheds like mad year-round but cold never seems to bother her, she loves snow and winter and cold - conversely, she hates summer and heat. Sometimes I have to drag her along on walks in the summer, but in the winter she's running all around in the snow with pure joy. Oddly enough she originally is from California! She lived there with her original owners for the first two years of her life, then they moved here and couldn't keep her and she became my dog. Our first winter with her was the first time she saw snow, and that year we had a blizzard and about 18 inches of snow fell in that storm. The snow was almost as high as she is tall, but she loved it anyway and sort of "swam" through the deep snow. She didn't need a coat in that, so I am hoping she won't ever need one.

My fitness plans have changed slightly. Instead of going to the gym for weights today, I'm heading outdoors for some ice skating. It's one of those ideal days - my local outdoor rink is open (and it's always free), and the weather looks perfect for skating. The high temp today is about 28 F, so not too cold and also not quite warm enough for the ice to be melty. So I've got my skates in the car and I'm going to zip over there for some skating today. I'll do weights tomorrow instead.
 
Yeah, and tomorrow is supposed to be colder, so that'll be a better day to stay indoors anyway. I'm wondering though if I'm coming down with a cold - I've been a bit stuffy and coughing a little bit this morning. Hopefully it's just the dry winter air. I've got some vitamin C drops and some ginger tea, so I'll have some vit C and some tea - I've even got a travel tea mug, so I could bring it with me to the ice rink. Although with my luck I'd fall on the ice and spill hot tea all over myself, eek! :p
 
Okayyy, so, the weather today might have gone a bit past ideal. I swear when I checked the weather report this morning, it said a high temp of 28 F and overcast skies. Well, that was a lie. :p It's now about 35 F so things are getting slightly melty, and there are blue skies and the sun is out. Hmmm. Well, I'm still going skating anyway. As long as the ice doesn't get too melty it should be fine. The ice rink is still open today, in spite of the warmer and sunnier than expected weather.
 
Ahh. I got back from skating a little while ago and I feel quite good now. It sure doesn't feel like 35 F out there, there's a very brisk wind which made everything feel colder and made it a bit challenging to skate! But I did skate and didn't fall, so that's a definite success. I was concerned about how the condition of the ice was going to be - the free outdoor rinks can sometimes be quite iffy. And it's only been below freezing for a short time, so I wasn't sure if the ice had enough time to set properly (it's a flooded field, not a frozen pond, so at least I don't have to worry about falling through the ice). Well, there are 2 rinks at the park that I go to, there's a smaller rink and a larger one. The smaller rink was almost in pristine condition, the ice was great! Which is good, because the larger rink looked horrendous. I don't think I could have skated on it at all, the ice looked very choppy and broken up into big chunks, it looked un-skate-able. But I was fine with sticking to the smaller rink, especially since I was the only person there (it can get a bit crowded with multiple people!). I'm not sure how it was that the small rink was so good and the large rink was so bad - they are literally only like 2 feet away from each other. And they're maintained by the same organization. Who knows! But I'm glad the small rink was so nice for skating today.

My legs did feel a little tired while skating, and feel quite tired now, which makes sense because I've been walking every day without a break. I think I do need a rest day. I am still planning to lift weights tomorrow, and will focus more on arms than legs, and will take a rest day on Friday. Saturday I am thinking I will go to the big paid membership gym, hopefully with hubby, and lift weights. While we're there, we can upgrade my membership and cancel his (I can still bring him along as a guest with the upgraded membership, and it's the same cost). Sunday, it's looking like it'll be nice weather (they're currently saying 36 F and sunny) and I'd love to go on a longer hike. There's a 4.2 mile loop as part of the forest path that I've been wanting to try, there are at least 2 restrooms along that path, and dogs are allowed - sounds good to me. So I'll bring Lily for sure, and maybe I can convince hubby to come too (he did not sound at all enthusiastic about it when I mentioned it to him yesterday).
 
Walking Alfie in the woods used to be a huge part of our lives.Probably because we were born and bred at the coast,we take it for granted.In good weather the coast is always far to busy,so we keep away.It's exciting to go and watch the waves crashing when there's a winter storm though.Glad you enjoyed your skating.It doesn't take long for unused muscles to complain.
 
I'm nowhere near the coast, I live in the upper Midwest so I'm near-ish to the great lakes (it's about a 90 minute drive to the nearest one, Lake Michigan). But I'm at least 1,000 miles away from the ocean on either side. So I've never really been a coast person, but definitely am a forest person. :)

I didn't want to tell my parents about the shakeups at work, because I knew they'd just worry and try to give me money (they're already giving my brother money plus food and room & board, he still is unemployed and lives with them). But then my mom said she wanted to come down and do fun things and go shopping this weekend, so I had to tell her no and explain why I am not spending any money at the moment. Ugh. So now she's worrying and I'm sure she told my dad and he's worrying too.

The fitness plan is still on. My legs feel better today and I still plan to take a rest day tomorrow (with no fitness and no shopping, what am I going to do with myself tomorrow??). Heading to the little gym today on my lunch break for a quickie weights session. Hubby expressed more interest in my weekend workout plans, so maybe I can drag him along with me after all. And he's on board with the no spending money thing, too (he said he thinks he might need to remind me of not spending, and I told him I'm counting on him to remind me of that at key times!).
 
I'm tired now. :p Just got back from the gym. I honestly wasn't really feeling it beforehand. You know when you have a workout planned and you just have to sort of "fake it till you make it"? Like, just make yourself do the workout even though you're not feeling like it. That's how today was. I do feel good now, I'm happy that I worked out, but I wasn't feeling it going in. I'm very glad that tomorrow is a rest day, I need a bit of rest. I'm still wondering if I'm coming down with a cold, I've been blowing my nose more than usual and I've needed a couple throat lozenges today, and I'm just a bit tired. Hopefully tomorrow's rest day will get me feeling more energetic for Saturday's workout!

I'm still doing well on not spending any money, but it is difficult. I keep looking at the calendar, like, when can I spend again? Still two months, huh? Ughhh. I need to find some distractions for myself from spending money. I should have enough yarn and fabric to get me through 2 months, and I just downloaded a bunch of free books to my kindle, that's a good start. Shopping and buying myself treats is my way of cheering myself up, though, so I need to find a new outlet for that specifically. Hmmm.
 
Like you,I always feel better when I've done something.And I know the feeling of "making the effort" very well.If I don't get out every day I feel awful,both physically and mentally.
Except when I'm having a "sick" day and all I want to do is snuggle down with a book.
As for your non spending......If you DO lose your job you'll be glad you've been careful,and if you DON'T lose your job you'll have something saved to have a splurge......Yaaaaay !!!
 
Yeah, I really need to start looking for a newer car, so adding money to my savings will mean that I can maybe buy a slightly nicer car than I've currently budgeted for (I'm definitely putting the car shopping on hold until I know what my job situation is though!). My current car is 16 years old with over 200,000 miles on the odometer, and although she's still running fine at the moment, she's obviously getting older and I don't know how much longer she'll last. So once the dust settles and I either find myself still with a job or find a new job, then I can start looking for a newer car.

Today's a "sick" day for me, I'm quite headachey this morning and still feel like I might have a slight cold. Definitely a good day for a rest day.
 
We've been doing home decorating and finished the gloss painting at lunchtime.I didn't get out yesterday at all so we hopped on the bikes and had a run along the coast.I was getting headachey with the fumes,though they weren't really that bad.Just got back and I really would like a shower or bath,but can't until the paint dries,hubby says.I can enjoy a wash down at the sink for now.Trying not to touch the wet paint as we pass is proving a real problem, how people with kids manage,I do not know.
 
I don't know how people with kids accomplish anything! :p My sister-in-law has 5 kids between the ages of 3 and 13, and it's always complete, uncontrolled chaos at her house. I wouldn't be able to do anything (except maybe have a nervous breakdown) in a setting like that. It makes me appreciate my calm, quiet house so very much.

We might soon do some painting as well. We have some paint leftover from when we painted our living room and kitchen (so we wouldn't have to spend any money on paint/supplies), so we might paint the sewing room as it really needs a coat of paint. It sounds like a big job though because we'd have to move everything out of that room first! That part would be a bigger job than the actual painting!

I think I've definitely got a cold, ugh. I wasn't sure the past couple of days, because I always get an increase in gut symptoms when I catch a cold - it's like, when my immune system turns on to fight the cold/virus, it also attacks my guts a little bit while it's on, because that's just what it does. I didn't have any tummy symptoms for the past couple of days, but today I've got some nausea and I've been to the bathroom 4 times already. So yeah, it's a cold. It still seems quite mild. And I had read that it's still okay to work out as long as all the cold symptoms stay above the shoulders - meaning, if you've got a sore throat and/or sinus congestion, but no symptoms like cough or chest congestion, then it's okay to work out. And I don't have a cough, although I'm not sure if my gut symptoms count or not. All my "classic" cold symptoms are above the shoulders, though - headache, sinus congestion, and just a slightly sore/tickly throat. For now I'm going to play it by ear and see how I'm feeling tomorrow. If I'm still nauseous & having bathroom trips then I'll skip the gym, but if that part is over with (the gut symptoms usually don't last very long), then I might still try a workout. We'll see. For the time being, I took some zofran which brought the nausea down to a more tolerable level, and zofran also tends to back me up a bit, so that should slow things down and prevent me from using the bathroom quite so much.
 
I didn't end up going to the gym during the weekend - I've got just enough lingering cold symptoms that I decided it was better to stay home instead. We did paint on Saturday, so we got that accomplished anyway. And that is sort of a workout, like squatting down to paint the lower parts of the wall and reaching up to paint the ceiling, etc.

Sunday morning, I woke up with a sore lower back. Not sure if I tweaked it while painting, or if I slept on it wrong, or what. It was fairly painful for the first half of the day, as I walked around the pain gradually eased up. But I didn't go to the gym that day either for fear of making it worse. We did walk Lily and that seemed to help my back. It's feeling normal today, no pain.

Today's plan is to go to the little gym on my lunch hour. It looks like a very nice day out, I'm very tempted to take a walk, but I walked yesterday and I really need to have a weights day. Tomorrow looks like it should be good for walking also, so I'll walk then. The tentative plan this week is weights Mon-Wed-Fri, walking Tues, and not sure about Thurs. It's supposed to get colder again on Thurs, so possibly ice skating, or maybe a rest day. Saturday it's supposed to rain, so I might skip exercise that day and go visit my grandma. I haven't seen her in a few weeks, so a visit would be very nice.
 
Bleh! I'm in a taper fail. Got hit with cramping and nausea a short while ago - literally while I was halfway through eating my oatmeal. I felt fine while eating it and suddenly I felt not fine. Because of this, I'm not going to lift weights today after all. I think I might take a walk if I'm feeling up to it. Mostly I'm feeling very frustrated. Before LDN, I couldn't get below 10 mg of pred without symptoms (I tried multiple times). Now I cannot get below 6 mg pred, have failed at that twice now. Ugh ugh ugh. So frustrating! I just want to taper off of pred without flaring up again or having symptoms! So not happy right now. I really hate my stupid broken body and I hate pred too.
 
Didn't end up walking nor going to the gym. Still working my way back to feeling better. I had to ask hubby to come by my work and drop off my 1 mg pred tablets so that I could get myself back up to 6 mg (fortunately he doesn't work Mondays). So I'm starting to feel better now that I've taken an extra 1 mg and am back up to my 6 mg. My body just doesn't like being at 5 mg. I emailed my GI asking what to do. I'm wondering now if I could try going from 6 to 5.5 mg. My 1 mg tablets are tiny, but they do have a line down the middle to theoretically I could try splitting one in half. Pred is so powdery though that it might just disintegrate. But it's worth a try I think. Maybe going from 6 to 5.5 to 5 will work better.

So all my fitness plans are up in the air now. I'm resting today and will see how I'm feeling tomorrow and go from there. Ugh. Stupid pred, stupid body.
 
Still having taper fail symptoms today. Ugh. I've been to the bathroom I think 4 times already this morning (the same thing happened at my last taper fail) and had to take some zofran for the nausea. Mornings are usually worst for me anyway, though, so I'm hoping that I improve as the day goes on.

I'm thinking that today is going to be a rest day even if I do improve later today. My body needs rest and healing right now. I'm just going to play it by ear each day and see how I'm feeling. It's raining today so I wouldn't be able to do a walk nor go ice skating anyway. I did drag myself in to work but I'm not sure if I'm going to make it through the whole work day. I think the zofran is helping though so I'm at least semi-functional today.
 
That's the best plan.Just see what each day brings rather than plan ahead.It was raining this morning so we had a drive out to a little market town for a mooch around the shops.Of course the sun came out and the temp.rose to 8c.It would have been a good day for a bike ride.The forecast isn't good for the fore- seeable so it could be a while before we get out.
 
I ended up going home sick from work yesterday and staying home sick today. It's like a mini-flare every time I have a taper fail, with bathroom trips and cramps and fatigue and nausea. I've lost 3 lbs because I've had no appetite. I just hate this! I emailed my GI asking for help with my taper, and he was like, "Did you try zofran for the nausea?" Um, yes, it takes the edge off but I still feel like crap so please help me! (That was the gist of my response to him anyway.)

So yeah, fitness is still on hold, I'm resting with my heating pad on today. I'll start with taking walks again once I'm feeling better. In the meantime it's rest for me.
 
I'm so sorry Cat.I know you want to get off pred.but you're not having much luck are you ? I don't know what the solution is.Look after yourself and put exercise on hold for the present.It won't take you long to get back into it, but please make sure you're fully recovered first.
 
I'm definitely determined to get off of pred. I seem to have trouble just going from 6 mg to 5, and for this taper fail I had tried alternating the dose (6 mg one day, 5 the next, 6, 5, and so on) but that's failed me as well. So my next thought is that maybe I could try going from 6 mg to 5.5. I've emailed and asked my GI if pred comes in 0.5 mg tablets, he hasn't responded yet. I can try to cut my 1 mg tablets in half, although they're tiny, so I'm not sure how well that is going to work. For the time being, I'm staying at 6 mg for at least a week or two to recover from this before I try again to taper.

I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Between the job stuff and not being able to get off of pred and feeling pretty awful at the moment, I'm just a weepy mess. Of course, exercise is my stress-relief and my antidepressant, and when I'm not well enough to exercise, I quickly start to feel much worse mentally. I'm trying to eat toast but I'm crying on my toast. I seem to just get further behind in my illness and my finances. I'm not giving up, but sometimes it's all very overwhelming.
 
Ah me darlin',it will pass,you know it will.Stop trying so hard to be perfect.

On the subject of halving pills,you can get pill cutters.I got one at the vets when I had to halve Alfies tramadol so I expect the pharmacy will have them too.
Now,try to concentrate on all the GOOD things in your life,because you do have them,you know. Hugs.
 
I do have a pill cutter - I've been using that to cut my 10 mg pred tablets in half. But even that is a bit messy and uneven, the tablet never seems to cut perfectly down the middle and it's always sort of powdery and disintegrates slightly in the cutter. And that's the 10 mg tablets, so I'm guessing it will be similar for the 1 mg tablets but even more difficult as they are so tiny. So that's why I'm hoping my GI can track down some 0.5 mg tablets for me, if they even exist.

You are very wise. :) I know I have a lot of good things in my life. Sometimes though, the bad things seem to yell the loudest for my attention - sort of like certain politicians, ha ha. And I sometimes forget that my feelings are liars and that the bad things feel permanent, but they're not. I read this essay awhile back and it definitely spoke to me. Here's the link:

http://www.epbot.com/2016/03/writing-my-way-out.html
 
Oh believe me, bad stuff and thoughts get to all of us sometimes.I just tell myself that there are millions worse off in the world and it usually works.This time next year you'll have forgotten all about it.Have a good day.
 
I'm feeling more positive and doing a bit better today. Only been to the bathroom 3x instead of 4 so far this morning. :p I did drag myself in to work today, and I got some good news - it sounds like my department is safe, my boss told my co-worker that it doesn't sound like there will be layoffs in my dept. Phew! I know it's not official and things could change, but it was still really promising to hear that. And it's a load of stress off of my back! I was crying in the car on my way to work, but now I don't feel like crying. (I cry so much when I'm flaring or when my guts are acting up, it's ridiculous.)

I'm still not going to do any exercise today. I'm pretty weak, I've lost 4 lbs this week, I haven't had much appetite and haven't eaten much (maybe that's why I only had 3 bathroom trips?). Yesterday I had some toast and some french fries, and then I was naughty - hubby was eating strawberries and they looked wonderful, so I ate 2 or 3. Well, my bathroom trips this morning have included a few chunks of red, I know it's undigested strawberries. Oops. I need to play it safer with food until I fully recover from this taper fail.

If I'm feeling up to it, tomorrow's weather looks like it's going to be lovely, and I'd really like to take a walk if I can. I won't if I'm still feeling like I am now, though. The weather might be nice on the weekend as well, temps in the 40s F which sounds great to me! So if I can't walk tomorrow, I'll see if I can take a walk at some point during the weekend.

Oh, and my GI got back to me about pred - he said they do not make 0.5 mg tablets, but they do make 2.5 mg tablets. So I could use that to taper from 6 mg down to 5.5 mg - I'd take 3x 1 mg tablets and one 2.5 tablet to equal 5.5 - I hope that will work. For now I'm staying at 6 mg for another week or two to let my body recover, I need a slight break before I try again to taper.
 
You should feel more relaxed now re: Pred. and job.Even if the job side is not 100% certain there is hope,and that's something.
 
I definitely do feel more relaxed. And I even engaged in my favorite non-fitness activity: Shopping! :D I didn't go overboard, but there's always a sale at a local thrift store on Thursdays so I went to check it out. It was supposed to just be purses and shoes that were on sale, but they also spontaneously put all clothes on sale! Since I've gained a few too many lbs thanks to pred, I've gone from a size small to a size medium and from a pants size 6 to a size 8, so new clothes that actually fit are something that I need right now.

My eye is always drawn to blue, and I ended up buying 3 things, all of them blue. :p I got a cute new turquoise workout top, name brand with the built-in sports bra and it seems brand-new. I also got a cute bright blue workout jacket, it's got a special pocket for my ipod (which is also blue!). And I got a really cute navy blue jacket for springtime. I feel soooo much better after shopping! And I only spent $15 on all 3 things.

So yeah, new clothes, especially blue workout clothes, make me very happy. But it also motivates me which might not be the best thing right now - I really want to hit the gym in my new clothes right away, but of course that's not wise at the moment (plus I have to wash them first anyway). So I will wait until I'm feeling better.
 
I love a bargain.We have lots of charity shops over here,Heart,Cancer,Aged,Hospice,etc etc.They're all run as boutique type shops,clean,light and good changing rooms.I get much more satisfaction buying from them,than I do buying new.Things I haven't worn for a while all go back to them.I got my hubby two pairs of Paul Smith jeans for £1 a pair.I think they're about £80 new.I get his casual T's for knocking about in for £1 too,then I don't have to worry about grease and oils stains etc.'cos he is a mucky pup at times.
 
Yes, this was a thrift shop benefiting Hospice, with all volunteers working there and all the proceeds going to people in Hospice, so I always feel good shopping there. And like you said, it's clean and nice like a boutique. And I always donate my old clothes back to them too. I love bargains too, this particular shop sometimes has a $2 pants sale and that's like xmas for me. :p Pretty much all my pants - jeans, business trousers, sweat pants, workout pants, and even skirts - have all come from the $2 pants sale. I love it! I've gotten some name-brand bargains there as well, I never know how much things cost brand new but sometimes the women working there will tell me things like, "Oh, this is a very good brand and would cost over $100 if you had bought it new!" and I take them at their word. And then I think to myself, who on earth would pay $100 for one pair of pants?? Not me!

Hah, "mucky pup", that's a new phrase for me! My hubby is similar. He'll think nothing of making a huge mess, then is surprised later when his shirt has stains (or the countertop, or the rug, or wherever/whatever project he was doing!).

I'm feeling better day by day. I think I could take a walk today, but I did have some cramping and d earlier today, so I'm not going to risk it just yet. It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I'm now hoping to do a walk on Sunday.
 
I walked both weekend days. Saturday, I took Lily out for a quick walk before lunch, as my parents were coming down and they wanted to take us out to lunch. That walk went fine.

Yesterday, I decided to take Lily on a longer hike. That ended up being not so great, but we got through it. There's a longer (not paved) forest path which makes a loop and it's about 4 miles total, and I'd been wanting to walk it. Sunday, the weather looked nice. It was sunny and in the 40s F. But it was super windy! I figured we'd be in the forest, so the trees would act as a wind break. And they did, for the parts where we were in the forest. But the path didn't end up staying in the forest the whole time, there was a large chunk where it was in the prairie/open field, so there was nothing in those areas to stop the wind. Also, the paths had previously been full of ice/snow, but with the temps above freezing, the paths turned into a watery, slushy mess. My hiking shoes quickly started letting water in, so my socks and feet got a bit soaked. I know Lily wasn't happy about that either (she loves snow but hates water). By the end of that hike, Lily was not happy, she was dragging behind when usually she's trotting out in front of me. And this morning she was moving a bit more slowly and stiffly, so I think the walk wore her out and maybe the wind & cold meltwater affected her joints a bit. She's 8 so I have to remember that she's getting older and isn't quite as spry as she used to be. Next time, we'll take an easier hike.

Oh, and I also at one point stepped wrong and rolled my ankle. I didn't injure it, but it was close - I very easily could have sprained or even broken it. It was a little tender after that.

I'm sore and tired today. Today is definitely a rest day. Will re-assess tomorrow and see what I'm feeling up for. I'm also a bit nauseous this morning, but that's typical for me, I'm often nauseous in the mornings, and Monday mornings are sometimes worse - my routine gets thrown off by the weekend, as I sleep in and then take my meds at a later time than usual and I'm not eating at the same times as normal and I forget to take my psyllium, etc. So today's a recovery day, both from the hike and from the weekend in general.
 
Well even if you didn't enjoy your walk so much,at least you made the effort.
I haven't been very far for the last few days because of cold miserable weather and stomach problems.We got halfway through the park yesterday,on the way to the craft market,and I had to come home.Today I walked into town and around the shops and felt better.I was going stir crazy.Our temps are to rise into double figures as the week goes on,so I'll be on little blackie at the first opportunity.
 
I hate when that happens, when you push yourself to get out but then your stomach forces you to turn around and go home. I feel like I should get credit for making the effort, so my stomach should just quiet down and let me enjoy the thing that I pushed myself to get out and do! But of course IBD doesn't work that way. It's frustrating. Hopefully your stomach will allow you to enjoy the nicer weather.

We're supposed to get nicer weather as well. It's still in the 40s and sunny, and the wind has quieted down. And it might get as warm as 60 F by the end of the week! That's springtime weather for sure. It already sort of feels like springtime out now! So maybe I'll get to go on a bike ride as well if it truly is that warm!

My fitness plans are all up in the air, no plans at the moment other than a rest day today and will re-assess tomorrow how I'm feeling. Ice skating is definitely not happening this week! :p And ice skating might be done for the season if it stays this warm. 32 F is freezing and it's supposedly going to be warmer than that for at least this week. All the snow is melting and surely the outdoor ice rink will melt too, so unless things get quite cold again for at least a little while, I think skating is done for the season. That's a bit sad. But it does open up other possibilities, like bicycling.

This coming Saturday, hubby is scheduled to work, so I get a weekend day to myself. I'm hoping to go visit my grandma that day, presuming she and I are both well enough for a visit. My parents said that she had the flu just recently. So hopefully she's well enough for me to visit.
 
I'm doing a little better today than yesterday. The nausea seems to be mostly gone, thank goodness. I had a bunch of cramping first thing this morning, but after about 5 bathroom trips, the cramping seems to have subsided. I'm still feeling a little "off", I don't have much appetite and I feel a little weak and run-down.

Because of the cramping and feeling "off", I'm not going to do any exercise today. I don't want to make my body angry all over again. It's slightly frustrating having to take multiple rest days in a row, but I know that's the wise thing to do.

If I'm doing better tomorrow then I'll probably try a walk. If I'm still feeling like this then I'll rest, again. It all depends on what my body decides to throw at me. The good news is that everything is continuing to melt, so by the time I can take walks again, the walking paths should be much clearer of snow, ice, slush, etc.
 
Well,I had a bad start to the day but felt well enough by 11am to go for the weekly shop.Had to leave the trolley and run to the toilet TWICE.Anyway managed ok and cooked Les's lunch while putting the shopping away.Had a walk along the river and back for 1hr and a half, but I was almost on my knees with back ache by the time we got home.I never have any bother while cycling.I was a keen walker but I think those days are over now.I will still do local walks though,use it or lose it.
 
Oh, I hate having to leave the cart and use the bathroom at the grocery store! Although I will say, my local grocery store always has about 6 or 8 full rolls of toilet paper in each stall, and it's the soft, 2-ply stuff. They don't skimp on TP, they have both quantity and quality, so at least when I have to use their bathroom it's not horrible. I certainly can't say that about every public restroom! (Especially in Japan, where sometimes I'd encounter a squat toilet - those were just a nightmare, even if you only had to pee - I ended up peeing on my shoe at least once, while standing in a puddle of other people's pee. Ew! Thank goodness for machine washable shoes!)

I'm feeling gradually better as the day goes on. No further cramping nor bathroom trips. I think eating high sodium is helping right now, too. So I'm planning my meals around making sure that I'm getting a lot of sodium (heading to the store on my lunch break to buy some small bags of chips). The weather is looking better and better every day - it's going to be 30 F tomorrow, 40 on Thurs, 50 on Fri, and maybe as warm as 60 on Saturday! If it's really that warm, I'm going to pack a book and a picnic blanket. When I go to visit my grandma that day, I can go by my grandpa's grave afterwards and sit and read a book. His favorite book was Winnie the Pooh, so sometimes I go sit by his grave and read one of the Pooh stories. That's my small way of staying connected with the memory of my grandpa. I haven't been able to sit by his grave all winter, but now that it's spring-like weather, I can again.

I'm tentatively thinking about walking tomorrow, presuming that I continue to feel better. And if I can do that and that goes well, then I might try lifting weights on Thursday.
 
Hah, I did more shopping. :p I went to another local thrift shop and I found a super cute dress. It was only $7. It's like a short sweater dress. It's a really cute shape and the fabric feels very high quality (sometimes sweater dresses feel cheap and don't hold their shape very well, but this one holds its shape and feels like very good quality). It's going to look adorable with leggings and boots, I can't wait to wear it. Oh, and the best part? It has pockets!! I absolutely love it when dresses have pockets! :)

That really cheered me up. I was in a pretty foul mood this morning, I'm never happy when my guts dictate what I can and can't do (and especially when I can't exercise). Thank goodness I don't have expensive taste and am happy with a bargain!
 
It's almost 10am and we're just about to go down to the coast on the bikes.Have to make the most of it.Talking toilets.When in Australia we went for a forest walk.I wasn't very happy as there are far to many things that kill you over there.Needed to pee,wooden shed with W.C.(water closet) painted on the door.A very very deep hole dug into bare earth.No seat,paper.And the smell was indescribable.But when you gotta go,you gotta go.Now that's squatting.I also shared a cubicle with a 2ft lizard one time.But it was asleep.
 
My grandma has a great story about a WC/outhouse. This was in the early 1950s, she was recently married to my grandpa and she was pregnant with my dad. My grandpa was in the army and he got stationed in France. I'm not sure of the details why, but my grandma didn't go to France to join him right away, so he already had a house to stay in when she got to France. So she just arrived in France, literally just got off the plane, and being pregnant she really had to pee. So my grandpa got her to the house and directed her to the back yard of the house where there were a couple of outhouses, they didn't have indoor plumbing at this house. She said that my grandpa surely must have known what would happen but he didn't warn her. So she goes out back, and opens the first outhouse door - and it goes, gobble gobble gobble! She said she nearly peed her pants with shock. It turns out that their French landlord kept a live turkey in the first outhouse! :p Fortunately she was able to use the other outhouse without incident.

I hope you have a good bike ride and that your guts don't force you to make any pit stops (or that you don't encounter any turkeys if you do have to stop and use the bathroom!). My guts are still feeling a bit iffy, but I've only had 2 bathroom trips so far this morning, which is better than the 5 I had yesterday. I'm not sure if I should walk today or take another day to recover. I'm sort of thinking that I'll just walk around a couple of stores, so as to be near a bathroom just in case. And since it's Feb 15th, there should be sales on leftover valentine chocolates, ha ha, so I might do a bit of chocolate shopping! ;)
 
I'm still feeling just slightly iffy today. Have had 2 BMs so far today, no urgency and only minimal cramping, so I'm still improving, but not quite where I'd like to be just yet. I'm thinking I'm okay for a walk, so I'll try that. Will re-assess tomorrow and see if I'm up for weight lifting or maybe just another walk.

I need to start paying better attention to my diet, too. When I'm feeling unwell, I don't feel like cooking, so I turn to convenient foods like chips or candy, and that's obviously not good. I need to make myself pack healthier lunches and I need to cook more. I'm going to go to the Korean market after work and pick up some kimchi, because I know that does good things for me. My friend who is Korean-American told me that sometimes when she's just a little bit nauseous, eating something spicy like kimchi helps her - I tried that, and it seems to help me too. In general I need to eat more of an Asian/Japanese style diet - I felt so good when I was in Japan, I think it was partly diet and partly all the walking I did. So I need to re-affirm my goals - I need to walk more and eat better.
 
My diet's pretty limited but it suits me.It's something that has evolved over the last 18mth or so.I rarely eat meat or any type of dinner/lunch type food.It's basically fruit,porridge,yoghurt,raw nuts,occassional eggs or sardines on toast.Sometimes a healthy ready meal which I never finish.I do have a high nutrient powder with chia seed,and supplements and green tea daily,and chocolate.
Had a good run out on the bike today,but it was very gusty and I almost lost my ball cap a couple of times.I don't have a cold but my nose was running with the wind,that's where fleece gloves come in handy hahaha.saves stopping.
 
Ha, I also wipe my nose on my fleece mittens regularly when I'm walking Lily on cold days. And if I'm in the gym and nobody else is there or nobody is looking in my direction, I'll wipe my nose on my shirt sleeve. :p My nose drips a lot when I work out so I have to be a little gross sometimes. (I always wash my mittens, shirt, etc after a workout so it's not too gross for long, it gets washed right away.)

I used to love sardines, but they seem to rile up my GERD nowadays. I get very fishy burps/fishy tasting reflux from sardines. So I sadly have to avoid them now. I eat a lot of eggs, and I know those are very easy on my belly. My lunch today is a wrap consisting of scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and avocado. I can't do raw nuts, even if I chew them very well I still seem to be able to feel them as they pass through me, it's not pleasant. I can do nut butters and nut milks though, sometimes I have almond butter and I have almond milk almost daily. Chia seeds in my oatmeal with almond milk is my usual go-to for my mid-morning snack. I put the almond milk in first thing in the morning so that it has a few hours for the oatmeal and chia seeds to soak up the almond milk, then it's nice and mushy (the only way I can tolerate it) by the time I eat it.

I don't eat much meat either. I cannot digest beef and I have never liked pork, so I don't do either of those. I do a lot of fish and some poultry, and on occasion I'll have some lamb or bison. Mostly though I stay away from red meat and stick to fish and some poultry. And by poultry I mean mainly chicken and turkey - duck is too fatty for me, it gives me horrendous gas. The last time I ate duck, I kept having a feeling of needing to use the bathroom urgently, but when I tried to go, I'd just have a ridiculously long fart. So now I avoid duck as I don't want to do that again.

What types of fruit do you eat? I'm trying to be better about eating more fruit, as I do seem to tolerate a fair amount of fruits. Today I had a kiwi with my oatmeal, and I've got a banana and a clementine for a snack later. I've also found I can tolerate peaches as long as I remove the skin, I can tolerate most berries, and I can even have strawberries when I'm feeling well (but when I'm not feeling well, I need to avoid strawberries). Grapes are my one big issue when it comes to fruit, I have to remove the skins in order to eat grapes, but that's such a pain to do. The last time I tried eating grapes, I didn't remove the skins, and then a day or two later I had a rather uncomfortable bowel movement and it looked like I had pooped out a bunch of contact lenses - it was grape skins! They really do look like contact lenses when they go through you undigested. :p
 
Basic fruits at this time of year,Peeled apples (with a chunk of hard cheese and a handful of cheese and onion crisps (chips),tangerines or same type,bananas,prunes.black grapes occasionally,prunes when needed,and most canned fruit in juice,drained.In summer I have strawberries,nectarines etc.I always (mostly) cook healthy meals for Les,but never fancy what he's having,so instead of cooking separately for myself,I end up taking the easy option.Our car's in for it's MOT (road worthy.cert ?) and when we get it back at lunchtime we're loading the bikes up and going further up the coast.There are cycle paths on the dunes and a really good fish and chip shop for Les's lunch.No cooking today.Yaaaay
 
Gosh, prunes sound dangerous to me! Do they help your digestion, do they cause you anything like cramping? Do you just eat one? I haven't done dried fruits since being sick, as I had read that things like raisins are really hard to break down and can cause blockages (and since I know I can't digest grape skins, I think raisins would be even harder for me to digest). I don't think I'm brave enough to try prunes!

I do have a lot of canned fruits, and I drain the liquid too. They're super easy, it's like peaches or pears with the skins already removed for me so I don't have to do any work. And I'm excited that it will soon be strawberry season. Last year I was in Japan just as strawberry season started, and we ended up eating strawberries almost every day. They were extremely delicious! Even on the bullet train, looking out the window at Mt. Fuji, I was eating strawberries. So now strawberries remind me of Japan.

Ooh, fish and chips sounds delicious. I don't think we have road worthiness inspections here - I've never had to take my car in for anything like that (and it wouldn't pass, my car has some emissions issues).

Hah, on the subject of cars - this morning hubby and I were talking about money. We had an extra $200 that I was going to put into the savings account, but then hubby's cell phone broke and of course a new phone is going to cost - can you guess how much? - yep, $200. So I was saying that I'd still like to put some money into our savings, and then in the same breath hubby and I both said what we'd like to use some of our savings on - he said vacation and I said new car. :p I was like, objection, overruled! I need a car more than we need a vacation. My current car is 16 years old - literally, my car is old enough to drive a car, ha ha. And she's got over 200,000 miles on the odometer, and she's had a few more quirks lately and sometimes needs pricey repairs. Hubby's got a newer car so now it's my turn. I don't want a brand-new car, just a newer car and nothing fancy.

I should give a fitness update. Yesterday was pretty frustrating. I took a walk but it was a challenge. My legs felt weak and tired and a few times I felt like I might either fall over due to lack of strength in my legs, or I felt like I might just pass out. It was disconcerting. Fortunately I didn't fall nor pass out, but it was not pleasant to feel like I might. And I'm not even sure why I was feeling like that - my guts weren't stellar yesterday but they weren't bad either. I have been eating and drinking so it wasn't like I was dehydrated or malnourished. I do think that my ears were a bit plugged up though, which can sometimes cause me dizziness or balance issues, so I'm thinking that might be the culprit.

Because yesterday was such a challenge, I'm thinking I'm going to not do any exercise today. I'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow and go from there.
 
That's the trouble with outdoor exercise,it takes you away from your comfort zone.Especially when you're on your own and maybe there are not to many people around.I hope you always have your cell phone with you.
Prunes I need when, for no apparent reason ,I stop going to the bathroom numerous times a morning.I usually have 5-6 well chewed,lots of water,stool softeners and a couple of laxatives at bedtime.It usually does the trick,but does make me quite ill for a while.I have a phobia about having a blockage.Temps got up to 11c,enjoyed our ride and shared fish and chips.Les is happy to share because I only have a little bit.I couldn't eat a whole portion to myself now,though I used to have a good appetite.
 
Ah, I see, that makes sense about the prunes helping you go. I usually just increase my psyllium and/or eat more oatmeal if I am going less than I should be, that usually does the trick for me. It seems like 2x BMs daily is ideal for me - once in the morning and once in the evening. That's about how often I go when I'm truly in remission, so I try to aim for that. Last weekend I hardly went at all, like at most once per day and I think there was a day where I didn't go at all. Then, this week, I've been going too much again, averaging about 4x BMs daily. Which is not too bad, considering that in a bad flare I can easily go 10 or even 20+ times per day. My record is 35 times in a day, and I was definitely going about 20 times during the worst of my flare back in July/August. So 4x per day isn't so bad compared to that! But I'm still aiming for remission of course.

Yes, I definitely always bring my cell phone with me. Sometimes I get nervous, because I don't get good cell reception in certain areas, particularly the little gym in the basement at work. So I usually will tell a co-worker when I go to that gym, so that they can come looking for me if I don't come back at my usual time. That's definitely a big worry for me, if I got injured in that gym and couldn't move, I'd really be in a bad situation. I don't get cell phone service down there, there isn't a landline phone down there, and I'm usually the only person in that gym. And if I were to go unconscious in that gym, the lights in there are motion-activated, so if I was still for longer than a few minutes, the lights would go off and then I wouldn't be found for who knows how long! So yeah, I always try to tell somebody before I go to that gym, so that they can come find me if something awful should happen to me in there. And of course I always take my cell phone on walks, and I try to tell someone where I'll be going, too. As a woman, you never know who might attack you when you're out walking by yourself. When I walk Lily, I have a pepper spray that I keep in my bag (I don't think Lily is big or scary enough to defend me), and when I'm hiking, I carry a small swiss army knife. I hate guns so I refuse to own or carry a gun (hubby does own a couple of long guns - I always forget if they're rifles or shotguns - but he only uses them for clay pigeon target shooting and he keeps no ammo in the house, so we technically do have guns but no ammo). So hopefully I'd be able to defend myself and/or call for help if need be while I'm out exercising - hopefully I'll never have to be in that situation to find out, though.

That's how hubby and I are, too, I usually eat what I can manage and then he eats the rest. He can eat his portion and mine. He's not a big guy but he can definitely eat a lot! Which has always been good for me because I've never been a big eater, and of course I tend to have very little/no appetite when I'm flaring or feeling ill.
 
Diet-wise I'm already doing better. As long as I put a little planning and forethought into it, I do okay. I just have to not be lazy about it. I stopped at the Korean market yesterday and got some kimchi, and I think that's helping already (maybe because it's fermented so it has probiotics? Or maybe it's the spices? I know some spices can be anti-inflammatory). I had some kimchi with rice and some squid salad yesterday for dinner and that sat very well with me. For lunch today I did another wrap, with scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, goat feta cheese, and a mixture of kimchi & mayonnaise - the mayo makes it creamy and cuts the spice a bit, so it's really yummy. Dinner will be leftover turkey and avocado - just because we have a lot of leftover turkey (we cooked a whole turkey a few days ago) and we have a couple of avocados that are ripe now and need to be eaten up. So I'm not sure if we'll make that into sandwiches or what, but we need to make something with those ingredients.

I'm going to try to eat a bit of kimchi every day - it seems to help my guts. And I know I don't need to eat much - I can't eat a lot of it anyway, it's too spicy to eat very much of. I got a big jar of it at the local Korean market so that should last me quite awhile.
 
Your diet sounds very tasty,my sort of food.We live in a small town and they're not into stuff like the big cities.I have read that Kimchi is good for digestion.I quite fancy trying it but if I asked for it here they'd think I was an alien.Glad you take your safety seriously.Some women allow themselves to get into bad situations don't they.I'm not blaming them mind you,but you can't trust anyone now,sad as it is.Enjoy your weekend.
 
Oh yeah, I know that I have to take my personal safety seriously. I've never been attacked, but I've been followed by guys, and that alone is terrifying. I've been followed at least twice at the big gym, and I've been followed while hiking. The guy who had been following me while hiking, I thought I lost him, but after I was done hiking and I got into my car and left the park, he apparently had been waiting in his car and followed me in his car as I drove out of the park! Now that was really scary. I drove super fast and managed to lose him. I have read that if you're being followed in your car, don't drive home, drive to a police station, so I was about to go to the police but fortunately I lost the guy at a red light and I managed to get away from him. So yeah, I know to take my safety seriously. I don't know what these guys want, when they follow me like that. At the gym they probably just want to ask me out and I'm obviously not interested, but what was the car guy thinking? Was he going to kidnap me, rape me, murder me? I sure don't want to find out but I'm guessing the answer isn't anything good.

I've decided that today I'm not going to visit my grandma after all. She had the flu recently, and since residents of her unit don't get to leave, I'm sure the flu is spreading in there like wildfire. I had my flu shot, but I've read that statistically about 50% of the people who got the flu shot are catching the flu anyway this year, it's really spreading like crazy right now in my state. I don't want to risk catching the flu, so I'm going to wait at least another week before I go visit her.

That frees up some time for me to do what I want. Hubby is at work today so it's me time! It's already 55 degrees F and it's supposed to get up into the low 60s today, which is springtime weather for sure. Like, I might not even need a jacket to walk Lily! So walking her and maybe a bike ride are on the agenda for today. I'll see how I feel after walking her, how tired my legs feel, and will decide from there whether or not to take a short bike ride. It's supposed to be equally nice weather tomorrow, with no rain until Monday, so if I can't ride today then I'll try for tomorrow.
 
I walked Lily yesterday, did not go on a bike ride. Was hoping to do that today. But then, yesterday evening, I got hit with some pretty bad nausea. It came on rather suddenly and strongly, so I was worried that it was a virus. I nearly vomited but didn't (I'm one of those stubborn people who absolutely refuses to vomit unless I'm given no choice in the matter, I hate vomiting more than anything else). Some zofran and my heating pad got it under control. I got really bad chills as well - I was shivering and my teeth were chattering - but my heating pad also helped with that. Today I'm a bit crampy and don't have much appetite, but the nausea and chills seem to be gone. I didn't eat anything weird yesterday so I really don't know the cause of the nausea & chills, maybe it is a virus? At any rate, my stupid broken body is keeping me from exercising, yet again. So frustrated but not much I can do about it.
 
That doesn't sound good Cat.I'm glad you did the right thing and didn't exercise or visit Gran.I know you feel frustrated by it all, but that's what we have to put up with.You'll have a "good"day soon,and you'll enjoy it.
 
Still having bad days so far. Yesterday I rested, barely ate anything, but still felt rough. This morning, the same. So I've upped my pred dose from 6 mg to 8 because I don't know what else to do. I haven't felt well in over a week and the past few days have been hard. I'll go up to 10 mg if 8 doesn't do the trick. I emailed my GI to let him know I'm doing this (he lets me deal with my taper my way). So frustrated. I want to be off of pred and I want to just feel reasonably well. Apparently that's too much to ask for on either front. Ugh. I'm really depressed today. If I'm honest, I've been depressed for awhile now. I'm starting to think I need to ask my GP for some help, an antidepressant or something. I already take 25 mg amitriptyline for my migraines, but I might need to be on a full dose of something else if it's not contraindicated with my amitriptyline. (I can't take a higher dose of ami, I once tried 40 mg and my migraines came right back.) It's a double-edged sword, though. If I go to my GP and say I'm depressed, that will go in my file and then forever doctors will say, oh, you have undiagnosed gut issues? Clearly it's just because of your depression. (When really it's the other way around - I'm depressed because of my gut issues, I don't have gut issues because of depression!)

So I don't know what to do other than cry. Does crying count as exercise? That's all the exercise I'm going to get for today. Ugh ugh ugh.
 
I'm so sorry Cat.Nothing I say will help.I'm sorry you're having to increase the pred.especially,because I know how badly you want to be done with it.It's OK to feel sorry for yourself and cry if you need to.Don't push yourself,and snuggle down every opportunity you get.Sending hugs.
 
Thank you, Carol. It does help just knowing somebody's listening. I'm feeling a little better now that the 8 mg has had most of the day to kick in. I was able to eat a little bit of toast and now I'm having tea. I feel a bit less awful than I was earlier.

I sure do have a difficult time with pred, it seems to get more difficult every time I have a taper fail (and this time I wasn't even trying to taper!). It's just becoming a seemingly never-ending thing at this point so I get more and more frustrated. I started flaring in July, was put on Entocort at that time, Entocort did nothing, I was hospitalized in August, put on IV steroids while in the hospital, and put on pred when I was released from the hospital. I've been on pred ever since. I know it's helped a ton, but I also hate it. And I hate how my body reacts when it doesn't get quite enough pred for its liking.

My aunt with Crohn's, she's been on 10 mg pred for ages and she's planning to stay on 10 mg pred forever. I was shocked when she told me that, now I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to be similar just because I can't get off of the stupid stuff.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
Thank you, Carol. It does help just knowing somebody's listening. I'm feeling a little better now that the 8 mg has had most of the day to kick in. I was able to eat a little bit of toast and now I'm having tea. I feel a bit less awful than I was earlier.

I sure do have a difficult time with pred, it seems to get more difficult every time I have a taper fail (and this time I wasn't even trying to taper!). It's just becoming a seemingly never-ending thing at this point so I get more and more frustrated. I started flaring in July, was put on Entocort at that time, Entocort did nothing, I was hospitalized in August, put on IV steroids while in the hospital, and put on pred when I was released from the hospital. I've been on pred ever since. I know it's helped a ton, but I also hate it. And I hate how my body reacts when it doesn't get quite enough pred for its liking.

My aunt with Crohn's, she's been on 10 mg pred for ages and she's planning to stay on 10 mg pred forever. I was shocked when she told me that, now I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to be similar just because I can't get off of the stupid stuff.
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I'm sorry to hear your prednisone taper is not going well. I know you want nothing more than to get off it. Because I have no experience with flares, I did some reading and the CCFA website suggests that prednisone does little to prevent flares - they are only used in the acute stages of the disease. It seems to me that because your flare has been about 8 months long, it would suggest it has moved from "acute" to "chronic" and that's why the prednisone is not working so well anymore? It could also be that your body has gotten so tolerant of the steroids that it automatically shifts into "flare mode" when you go down. It's just an idea but I'm no doctor. I'm not certain what you and your doctor have tried, but I'm wondering if it might be a good idea for you to seek another opinion to see if someone else might be able to help you balance out your flares so you can finally get off the prednisone.

I understand what you mean about the depression. I've struggled with chronic depression (aka persistent depressive disorder) since I was 16 years old (I will be 34 this year). Because you are having health problems, I think it's only natural that you would be feeling a little blue. I would consider yours more of a "situational" problem. If it persists longer than 2-3 weeks, then I would consider seeing your GP for advice. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have depression - everyone gets a little down now and then. It also doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be on medication. Your GP may recommend that you talk to someone for therapy (I strongly recommend the CBT route if you are interested in therapy). If you work for a large company, they might have an employee assistance program where you could have a certain number of sessions for free. Your employer is not at liberty to gain access to this information - it's a HIPAA violation - so no worries about your boss finding out. We have an EAP where I work but I haven't had to use it.

Also remember that your gut makes 90% of the serotonin in your body. I don't know if you have tried probiotics (I know they do not cure IBD and they don't work in all people) but it might be a good idea to see if that brings up the good bacteria. :)

http://bodyecology.com/articles/your-gut-can-influence-how-you-feel-it-all-starts-with-serotonin
 
Thanks, MissLeopard. I should clarify, about the depression. I've suffered from depression since I was about 12 years old - I've never been formally diagnosed, but I remember wanting to not live anymore when I was 12 and nothing made me happy, I was depressed all the time for much of my adolescence. It sort of went away on its own around age 16 when I traded up for an eating disorder. I was anorexic from about ages 16 - 19. I'm sure there was some depression mixed in with that, you can't hate yourself that much without also being at least a little depressed, but the eating disorder definitely had center stage during those years.

As an adult I've been through periods of depression but nothing too bad, until IBD came into my life. But then I discovered that working on my fitness is the best anti-depressant for me - it heals my body and my mind. Being in the gym, especially lifting weights, just chases all the negative feelings away. But at times like this, when I'm too ill to even take a walk, let alone lift weights - I get depressed super easily and quickly. I'm sure it's part of the flare itself, I cry so much during flares. I cry at nothing sometimes. I'm sure if I could just get things under better control guts-wise, the depression would ease up too. I had almost no depression for the 2 years that I was in remission (spring 2011 - spring 2013). I exercised so much during that time and felt great the whole time. But then they stopped making my maintenance med, Asacol, and I struggled to find another maintenance med that worked as well, and I haven't felt that well ever since.

And yes, I do have 2 maintenance meds right now which I had hoped would keep me in remission once I got off of the pred, but now I'm not so sure. I'm on Lialda, I've been on that for years. I don't think it does much, but it's not hurting anything either. And I'm on low dose Naltrexone, have been on that for a few months now. At first I was sure that LDN was helping, but I don't know if it's enough to keep me from flaring. And I'm basically out of med options, being undiagnosed. My GI won't put me on anything like biologics nor immunosuppressants. So I'm stuck, I'm really stuck.

I have read that, that changes in the gut bacteria can affect serotonin, although I don't know that I fully understand the science of it. Before this latest episode of feeling poorly, I had just started having kimchi every day, as that's got both spices (anti-inflammatory) and is fermented, so probiotics. But my stomach can't handle much of anything now, it gurgled like crazy yesterday after I ate some toast, so I think kimchi would probably hurt very much right now. I've tried probiotic capsules before, they didn't seem to do much for my guts but they seemed to make my GERD worse, go figure. I think I'm one of those people for whom probiotics don't make a whole lot of difference.

So yeah, in a nutshell, when I'm well I'm really well - exercising and eating my kimchi and feeling great. But when I'm unwell, I'm really unwell, depressed and crying and feeling horrendous. I'd love to just be normal! I'd gladly give up the highs if I could just have fewer lows, you know?
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
Thanks, MissLeopard. I should clarify, about the depression. I've suffered from depression since I was about 12 years old - I've never been formally diagnosed, but I remember wanting to not live anymore when I was 12 and nothing made me happy, I was depressed all the time for much of my adolescence. It sort of went away on its own around age 16 when I traded up for an eating disorder. I was anorexic from about ages 16 - 19. I'm sure there was some depression mixed in with that, you can't hate yourself that much without also being at least a little depressed, but the eating disorder definitely had center stage during those years.

As an adult I've been through periods of depression but nothing too bad, until IBD came into my life. But then I discovered that working on my fitness is the best anti-depressant for me - it heals my body and my mind. Being in the gym, especially lifting weights, just chases all the negative feelings away. But at times like this, when I'm too ill to even take a walk, let alone lift weights - I get depressed super easily and quickly. I'm sure it's part of the flare itself, I cry so much during flares. I cry at nothing sometimes. I'm sure if I could just get things under better control guts-wise, the depression would ease up too. I had almost no depression for the 2 years that I was in remission (spring 2011 - spring 2013). I exercised so much during that time and felt great the whole time. But then they stopped making my maintenance med, Asacol, and I struggled to find another maintenance med that worked as well, and I haven't felt that well ever since.

And yes, I do have 2 maintenance meds right now which I had hoped would keep me in remission once I got off of the pred, but now I'm not so sure. I'm on Lialda, I've been on that for years. I don't think it does much, but it's not hurting anything either. And I'm on low dose Naltrexone, have been on that for a few months now. At first I was sure that LDN was helping, but I don't know if it's enough to keep me from flaring. And I'm basically out of med options, being undiagnosed. My GI won't put me on anything like biologics nor immunosuppressants. So I'm stuck, I'm really stuck.

I have read that, that changes in the gut bacteria can affect serotonin, although I don't know that I fully understand the science of it. Before this latest episode of feeling poorly, I had just started having kimchi every day, as that's got both spices (anti-inflammatory) and is fermented, so probiotics. But my stomach can't handle much of anything now, it gurgled like crazy yesterday after I ate some toast, so I think kimchi would probably hurt very much right now. I've tried probiotic capsules before, they didn't seem to do much for my guts but they seemed to make my GERD worse, go figure. I think I'm one of those people for whom probiotics don't make a whole lot of difference.

So yeah, in a nutshell, when I'm well I'm really well - exercising and eating my kimchi and feeling great. But when I'm unwell, I'm really unwell, depressed and crying and feeling horrendous. I'd love to just be normal! I'd gladly give up the highs if I could just have fewer lows, you know?
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Thanks for the clarification. I was kind of iffy about posting above because I don't want to seem like the type that goes "take A, B, or C and you will be cured" kind of person. I had someone say something like that to me about my depression and I wanted to smack them.

I have GERD, too, and I know what you mean about things affecting it. I've never had probiotics affect it though. Just curious - have you ever tried taking a probiotic that was specifically made to open up in the intestine? If it's not coated right, it will open in your stomach and many probiotics are made with lactose so it could affect your GERD. I know of a really good brand that I used before and didn't affect me - Natren Healthy Start (green box). They have probiotics that are dairy-free (I believe I remember that dairy doesn't do well on your gut). I'm sure there are other dairy-free probiotics, but I know this one bypasses the stomach for maximum absorption. They also have a good product called Healthy Trinity which are also dairy-free. Hope this helps.

Also, I wonder if the reason why kimchi is affecting you is because of the high fiber content? It's actually a prebiotic which sets up a good environment for probiotics to thrive in. All prebiotics are high in fiber which might be a good thing to avoid if it's bothering you. I, myself, cannot handle spices very well. I've never tried kimchi, but I don't think I could handle it either.

I wish I could help with your diagnosis. It stinks when you don't have a definitive answer as to what ails you. I know I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when they found out what I had last year. Is this the only doctor you are able to see? I know, last year, I was planning to switch to an IBD specialist in a group that is very highly rated, but didn't need it. I wonder if a research hospital such as Mayo Clinic might be able to provide more answers?
 
You remembered correctly, dairy is not my friend. I've been lactose intolerant since my early 20s (years before IBD came into the picture). I honestly don't remember what brand or type of probiotics I had taken as this was a few years ago. I seem to recall trying a few different types (including the more expensive refrigerated ones) and didn't have success with any of them, so I sort of gave up on probiotics. Maybe that's something to revisit at some point soon as I know my body is sort of ever-changing. I know every flare for me is a little different and my trigger foods have changed over time, so maybe I'd react to probiotics differently now too.

I can see other doctors, but I'm hesitant to switch right now. There are shakeups at work, and although it sounds like my job will probably be safe, I want to be absolutely sure. We were told we'll know more in April (we're being absorbed by another part of the company and getting a new president, and that transition happens in April). So after that I might be more comfortable with switching doctors, but for the time being I'm staying put. I'd hate to start out with a new doctor and then lose my insurance and be out of luck. At least sticking with my current GI, I can email him and he knows my history (and he knows what a pain in the ass I am). Even if I lose my job and my insurance, I could still pester my current GI via email. That would still suck, but it'd be better than having a new doctor I think.

I'm not sure if I could go to Mayo Clinic or not on my insurance. I'm guessing not. And they're pretty far away, I think it's something like 4 or 5 hours to drive to the Twin Cities from here and I'm not even exactly sure where Mayo is in Minnesota. It might be something to look into once the dust settles on my job situation.

I didn't mean that kimchi is affecting me all the time - I just meant, right now most foods are not my friend because I have no appetite and some nausea and diarrhea. But when I'm feeling okay, I can do kimchi just fine. My friend who is Korean-American suggested that I try it, she had a rough pregnancy a couple years ago and she said that when she was just a little nauseous, she'd eat something spicy and that would help with the mild nausea. So I've been trying that and it's been working, as long as the nausea is mild. I wouldn't want to try eating kimchi with moderate or severe nausea! And when my guts are upset in general I avoid all spices and fiber too. I only eat it when I'm reasonably well.

As for getting a diagnosis, I'm usually not that upset about not having one. It's been over 7 years now so I'm not exactly holding my breath. I used to think that I'd have a big party once I got diagnosed, but my party planning went by the wayside years ago. :p At this point, I'll probably just die of shock if I actually get diagnosed. But it does limit me at times like this. I just have to find new, creative ways to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
 
Hope you're feeling better Cat.I meant to mention yesterday that I had ordered Matcha green tea from our local health store.I'll collect it later today.Did you sample some while in Japan ? It has loads of benefits and I like green tea so I thought I'd go a step further.To do it right I will need a bamboo whisk,but hopefully the directions on the tub will be simpler and I won't need to do the full ceremony hahaha.I hope I like it as it wasn't cheap,and it was buy one get one half price,so I did that.I'll let you know how I get on.Have a better day.
 
Carol, I didn't try matcha, because I cannot tolerate caffeine. It gives me migraines. :( I can have a few small pieces of chocolate per day (sometimes even that's enough to give me a headache). Any more caffeine than that, even a small amount like in tea, and I'll get a migraine with aura. My mother also cannot tolerate caffeine but in a different way, it gives her cysts, so neither of us had matcha while in Japan. We encountered it everywhere, it's extremely popular there - it was at every sushi bar, we found matcha ice cream and buns filled with matcha cream (that looked gross, it looked like the bun was barfing green goo!). But we couldn't have any because of migraines and cysts. We did see a tea ceremony as well but didn't participate.

I'm feeling a little better today, guts are calmer and nausea seems to be gone. My bladder is now acting up, though, because apparently I always have to have some sort of stupid issue happening with my body. :p I've been drinking lots of water, but as of yesterday evening I'm barely peeing. I don't know if my colon is siphoning all my water or what. I feel like I'm on the brink of getting a bladder infection, bladder feels pretty irritated right now, so I'm just trying to drink as much as possible and I'm taking extra cranberry capsules to try to stave that off.

If I'm feeling okay at lunchtime, I'm planning to take a walk on the forest path. Today's weather looks like it'll be the nicest day of the year so far. Almost 70 degrees F! That's not just springtime weather, that's summer weather! I can't stay indoors on a day like that, so I'm really going to try for a walk. Even if it's a short, slow walk, I still want to get out and enjoy this day. I think I can do it.
 
A walk should be ok,if you feel up to it.Drink lots of water to try to flush out your bladder.Of course I know you'll be doing that.
I got the Matcha and also some matcha and seaweed tea bags which were new in.They're really nice.Haven't tried the powdered stuff yet.
 
Bladder is doing a bit better, I had a lot of water and some orange juice and I've been urinating more and feeling less like I'm getting an infection. Oh, and Carol, I should mention, I'm going to try sardines again. I remembered you talking about them and I thought I'd give them another try as it's been a few years so maybe I won't get the fishy burps this time around. I was at the grocery store yesterday evening and bought 3 cans of sardines. I'm thinking I'll try a can this afternoon, I'll let you know how it goes.

And on the subject of diet, I also got some almond milk yogurts at the grocery store yesterday. I'm not sure if they have as much probiotics as regular yogurt, but they seem to be okay with my belly. I had one earlier today and it didn't seem to upset me.

I am going ahead with my plan of taking a walk, I'm heading out soon to do that. My guts got a bit riled up mid-morning with some cramps and nausea (this was before eating the yogurt), but that fortunately didn't last very long, and my bladder is improving. So I think I'll be okay to take a walk. If I do need a bathroom, I know there's a gas station at one end of the forest path, so I could duck in there if need be.

So that's today's plan. Take a walk and then eat some sardines. After today, it's supposed to get colder and rainy and even snowy, so I'm not sure that I'll be able to do much walking the next few days. But that's okay. I'm thinking of giving yoga another try, so being stuck indoors will give me the opportunity to do that. I'm really terrible at yoga, I have bad balance and I'm not very flexible at all, so I usually fail and quit pretty quickly when I try yoga. I'm going to try gentler, restorative yoga this time, rather than "bend your legs into a pretzel and balance on one toe" type yoga. :p Who knows, maybe this time I won't quit yoga right away! (Although honestly I probably still will, ha ha.)
 
Hahaha I loved your yoga description.I don't know how you have your sardines,but I toast one side of the bread (not in the toaster obviously) then thinly butter the untoasted side and spread with the drained and mashed sardines and toast until it suits you.I like black pepper on mine.I'm only describing it because I know you do things differently over there.Well,it's 7pm,have got my PJs on and it's time for some TV.Have a good day but be careful.
 
We definitely do things differently here! I've never had sardines mashed on toast before. We usually just eat them straight out of the can here. They come in various sauces, the ones I'm eating today are just in water but they also come in oil, in mustard, and even in hot sauce (I don't eat the hot sauce ones). I think they come in tomato sauce too but I can't have tomato sauce because of my GERD. I'll have to try sardines on toast sometime soon as that does sound good - toast is very safe for me and I've done tuna melts that are similar - just a can of tuna, some mayo, and melt some cheese on the bread as you toast the whole thing. Yum!

I just got back from my walk and it is SO NICE outside! I didn't need a jacket and I even got a little bit sweaty. It's summer-like weather except without the mosquitoes. We usually have cold & snowy winters here so this is a huge anomaly from our usual February weather. I even saw a couple of bats! I saw something flying and I thought, there's something wrong with that bird. Then I realized it wasn't a bird at all! The bats usually stay in hibernation for awhile longer than this, and it's worrying because they're not going to have any bugs to eat just yet. And the weather is going to get cold and snowy again soon and I'm not sure if bats can go back into hibernation once they've just come out of it? Other than worrying about bats, I had a really good walk. I felt good, I didn't feel dizzy like I did on my last walk (I think that dizziness was the first sign that I needed to up my pred dose a bit). I'm doing a lot better than I was. Still not quite as well as I'd like to be, but I can eat and take walks again and my guts and bladder are both relatively calm, so I can't complain.
 
I'm feeling bleh today. It's cold and gloomy and about to rain, so at first I was just cold and tired. But then I got hit with some cramps, and for once it's not gut cramps. It's in the lower-right abdomen near where my main IBD "pain spot" is, but it feels like menstrual cramps, it doesn't feel like it's guts-related. I wonder if my IUD has shifted around or something. I've only had it since mid-December so maybe my body is still adjusting to the IUD. I'm not sure. I haven't had any menstrual bleeding in awhile, but they told me to expect sporadic bleeding for awhile after getting my IUD, so I presume sporadic cramps are also something to expect. So I'm not worried. Still, it's not a fun feeling.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be colder and rainier, and then Saturday it's supposed to be even colder and snowy! Ugh. Yesterday was like summer and now it's like winter's back. It's hard to go back to winter weather after having such a nice day like yesterday. With the cramps, I don't have any fitness planned for today. But I might seek out some gentle yoga exercises on youtube and give those a try at some point soon. Will see how I'm feeling this evening, if I'm still having the cramps or not.

Today is $2 pants day so that should lighten my mood, I always love shopping for bargains and you can't get much better than $2 pants. I have some weekend plans - nothing planned for Saturday, I'm hoping to just stay in since the weather will be so yucky, and I'll probably sew and maybe do something warm like bake cookies. Sunday, we're going to see both of our grandmas. I have one grandma and hubby has one, the rest of our grandparents are deceased. So we'll stop by my grandma and give her a purse that I bought for her. Then, hubby's grandma is having a birthday party - I think she's turning 90? She's very sturdy, so different from my grandma. She can remember things, like at xmas she remembered that I hadn't been feeling well at thanksgiving and she told me she hoped I was feeling better. My grandma, meanwhile, can't remember a conversation that we had 30 seconds ago. And hubby's grandma still drives, lives in her own home, cooks, cleans. My grandma is becoming more frail and is in a care facility because she can't do any of that due to her dementia. So we'll see the two extremes when it comes to grandmas on Sunday.
 
It's amazing how differently people age isn't it ? I wonder what the secret is.I feel that I might live long and strong.I look around at peeps my age and think "I hope I don't look/act like that"...I know your gran has health problems through no fault of her own,but apart from being sick and fragile, I think aging is a state of mind.Some people embrace it,while others (like me) fight it all the way.
And you,poor soul,never seem to have two days the same lately.You might as well make your mind up that you're going to be under par until spring.Just go with the flow and don't try so hard to be the way your mind tells you should. hugs.
 
It really is amazing how my grandma is 84 and has so many issues, while hubby's grandma is even older but is doing just fine. Whether it's genetic, environmental, dietary, etc - who knows!

I do think you're right about aging being a state of mind. I can remember being a young girl, like 5 or 6 years old, and my grandma would tell me that she'd old and probably going to die soon. She would say that sort of thing often, it sticks out in my mind that she told me that many times. I'm 37 now, so this was over 30 years ago. She's 84 now, so she was only in her early 50s when she was saying these things to me! Of course a 6 year old child has no concept that someone in their 50s isn't very old, when you're little anything over 20 sounds ancient. But now that I do have an understanding of that, it's absolutely shocking to me. What sort of 50-something person talks that way, and especially to a child?? So yeah, my grandma has had an "aging" mindset for a long time now. For literally as long as I can remember. I'm 37, and although some days my body makes me feel much older, I know I'm far from old just yet! And I wouldn't ever say something like that to a child.

I think the cramping is gone. I did try eating sardines again though and that didn't go so well. Yesterday I had sardines in water and that was fine. Today I tried sardines in oil and that was not fine. I think the oil upset my stomach, and also gave me fishy burps. I took an antacid and that seemed to help a bit. So now I know, sardines in water are okay but not in oil.

You know me, I'm stubborn and I'll go crazy if I try to make myself wait until spring to get back to where I want to be. :p I'll just keep re-assessing day by day and do what I can when I can. I did have some good luck at $2 pants day today - I got 7 things total. One tweed skirt which has pockets - I absolutely love it when dresses and skirts have pockets (and yes, skirts are included in the $2 pants sale). I also got two pairs of sweatpants for lounging around or sleeping in. Two pairs of trousers for work, one black and one khaki. One pair of black workout capris, which you can never have too many of in my opinion! And one pair of lightweight pants - they're hard to describe but they're made out of some sort of a lightweight windbreaker-like material. They have a pocket and an elastic waist, very comfy and I think they'll be great for hiking in the summer. I prefer to wear long pants when hiking, because I want to avoid ticks, so lightweight pants are great. I can tuck them into my socks, not really a cute look, but it'll keep the ticks off of my legs and I won't overheat. The last thing I need to get is some tick-borne illness like Lyme disease! So I'm pretty vigilant about avoiding ticks.
 
Ticks and mozzies love me,so I'd do the same when walking in the country.Long pants,socks and boots.I have worn a head and face mesh thing when it's really bad.All of our dogs were plagued with ticks even with regular Frontline.You did well at the "moochie" shop.There was a "fill the bag for a fiver" thing on last week,but I was in a rush so missed it.The bags were great big mesh things,so it would have been worth it.Maybe next time.
 
Ooh, I love fill a bag sales! I went to an estate sale once and there was tons of fabric, and you could fill a big bag with fabric for something like $8. So I did that. I got tons of pretty fabric - really nice stuff like brocade and silk. I thought I filled my bag to the top, brought it over to pay for it, and they told me I could still fit more fabric in! The people working the estate sale were literally shoving more fabric into my bag. :p That was a good day.

Today's pain of the day is a new one. I'm having nipple pain! It's not very painful, it's more in the realm of annoying - you know when you go just past itchy and into pain? It's like that. It started yesterday afternoon and has not gone away. I don't feel a lump, it's not discolored nor swollen, there's no discharge or anything, it looks and feels completely normal, the only oddity is the pain. I was hoping I was just wearing an uncomfortable bra yesterday, so I put on a different bra today, but it feels the same. I'm keeping a close eye on it because of my family history of breast cancer and I will get it checked out next week if the pain doesn't go away over the weekend.

The weather today is awful. It's raining and the temperature is right around the freezing mark (32 F) so everything is getting a bit icy. And then this evening we're supposed to get snow on top of the ice, which never makes for easy driving because you can't see where the patches of ice are as they're all covered up by snow. Fun. I've already decided that tomorrow I'm not walking Lily - the weather is supposed to be similar tomorrow, with the addition of strong winds. That's definitely sounding like a day to stay indoors, crochet, sew, read, drink tea, watch movies, and just generally stay warm and cozy. If I get antsy from being stuck indoors tomorrow, I plan to walk on the treadmill and/or try some yoga.
 
I didn't do much exercise on the weekend. Saturday I stayed in due to the weather. Sunday, we had a pretty full day of visiting both our grandmas. Didn't have a chance to walk the dog on Sunday as it was already getting dark out when we got home.

I'm not feeling great today. Having some odd pains in the upper abdomen - usually my pains are in the lower abdomen. However, yesterday I was a bit reckless with my diet. I had strawberries with lunch and again in the evening! My body didn't like strawberries twice in one day. So I think the pains are the strawberries moving through me.

I'm still planning a walk for today, though. I'm feeling like a walk would help the strawberries move through me, and the weather today looks good. For the next 3 days, the weather report says rain, snow, snow, so it won't be sunny/dry again until Friday, so I need to take advantage of today. Going to my usual favorite spot, the paved forest path. Not going to go too fast nor too far as I don't want to make my guts more unhappy, but I do want to get out and enjoy the sunshine and get the strawberries moving through my system better.

I was proud of my hubby yesterday. At his grandma's birthday party, his cousin asked what sort of diet I'm doing, and without hesitation he said, "It's called low-FODMAP!" And he started telling her about it. Technically speaking I'm sort of getting away from low-FODMAP now as I know that gluten isn't a trigger for me, so I'm eating more gluten than a strict low-FODMAP diet would allow, and I'm eating a few other things like avocadoes and peaches (without skins) that aren't allowed on low-FODMAP because they don't bother me. So it's sort of a modified low-FODMAP diet, but close enough. I'm just glad hubby knew that much!
 
Yes,that was good of him.My hubs wouldn't have a clue.His answer would have been."not very much" and left it at that.How was your Gran.?
We been cycling the last couple of days.The weather was cold but sunny,but the forecast says bad weather on the way,so we thought we'd try to get some miles in.I'm looking forward to wearing less clothes though.It's difficult to know just what to wear.I start off chilled,and finish with a sweaty face and a damp back.
 
That's how I tend to be when riding my bike, too, at first the breeze of being on a bike makes me feel cold, but then I get warm and sweaty, even if it's a cool day. I just try to dress in layers and bring a lightweight backpack to toss my jacket into.

My grandma is as okay as can be expected. She was in a really good mood, although she still can't remember anything. We looked at some photos, including some that were taken at her old condo. She lived there for over 10 years just prior to being moved into her current facility, but she has no memory of her condo at all and she kept asking me whose house the photos were taken at. She did have a semi-distorted memory of her episodes of cardiac & respiratory arrest - she called them "fainting episodes" and she couldn't remember how she had gotten to the hospital after her initial episode, so she said she thinks she walked to the hospital. Um, nope. It wasn't fainting and she sure didn't walk! It was a nice visit, though. She had nothing but good things to say, she even complimented her facility (usually she thinks she's in "prison" and wants to get out). She said she loves the food, she loves her place, she loves the staff, she just had great compliments for everything about her facility. That made me happy! She's got to be there, she cannot live on her own, so it was great that for once she was happy to be where she's at.

My walk yesterday went well. I felt better than expected while walking, I think it did help my guts quite a bit. I feel better today than yesterday, too. Today's rain storms are a bit sporadic, so I'm going to see what the weather is looking like when it comes time for my lunch break. If it's looking okay then I'll grab my jacket and umbrella and take another walk. If it's not looking great, I might head down to the little gym for some treadmill walking and maybe I'll try doing a few weightlifting exercises too.

Tomorrow we're supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow, yuck. So I really don't think I'll be walking tomorrow. I'll see how I'm feeling and what the weather is doing. I might end up treadmill walking again but that's okay. On days that I'm feeling okay, I want to do something active, even if it's just treadmill walking. Trying to build myself back up towards being a regular gym-goer again but also don't want to push myself too much while I'm still trying to get off of the prednisone.

I hope your weather isn't too bad! It sounds like March is coming in like a lion for everybody - hopefully that means it will indeed go out like a lamb and we'll have a nice early spring.

Oh, I should add, I might have found a weekend workout buddy. Hubby's cousin, the same one who asked about my diet - this cousin is a really nice lady, not much older than I am, and she likes a lot of the same types of fitness that I do. She's really into biking, hiking, and kayaking. And she told me that she has most weekends off of work this year, which lines up with my work schedule as I don't work weekends either. So, we haven't made any official plans yet, but we'd like to get together and go hiking and biking and kayaking on some weekends this year once the weather is a bit nicer. I think that'll be really fun. I'm usually a solo exerciser, at most I'll drag hubby to the gym or I'll walk or hike with Lily, but usually it's just me by myself. So this is something new for me, exercising with another outdoor fitness enthusiast, but it sounds really fun. She's already planning a bike ride for us where we eat ice cream after we're done riding. :)
 
That's great.When I went to classes we had lots of laughs and there's always a tendancy to try that much harder when you've someone to share with.There's nothing wrong with a bit of light hearted competiion.I bet you hubby is secretly relieved,as he'll be off the hook.
Enjoy your day.It's almost TV time for me.
 
Enjoy your TV time! It's only lunchtime here. I'm scarfing some food before my walk. I'm being a bit naughty - I had packed a very healthy lunch today. My packed lunch is rice, baked salmon, kimchi, and pickled ginger. But then they decided to bring in a catered lunch at work for a meeting. :p I'm not in the meeting, but there were a ton of leftovers, so I'm having a turkey wrap from the catered lunch. It's got bacon, yum! But it also has lettuce, which might give me trouble later. You'd think that I'd learned my lesson after just having pain from strawberries, but nope. If I'm given the option to eat something naughty, I usually take it. Sometimes I suspect I just like having things to complain about. ;) But honestly I just have very little self-control around yummy but dangerous foods if they're placed in front of me. That's something I need to work on.

It looks like I will be able to take a walk shortly. The rain has moved out of the area so I shouldn't even need an umbrella. (I might bring one with just to be safe though.) It is extremely foggy and the ground is wet from this morning's rain storm so I'm going to stick with my old favorite, the forest path. It's paved so I shouldn't get muddy at least. And it's fairly warm today, the cold weather isn't coming until tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to having some outdoor fitness fun with hubby's cousin. I think her goals are a bit different than mine - she's a bit overweight so I think she's looking to lose weight, whereas I'm just looking to have fun and work on my fitness and have adventures. I don't think there will be even so much as a friendly competitiveness between us (at least not from my end), as I long ago decided to not compare myself to anyone else in the gym. Other exercisers have their own goals and their own issues and I've got mine so I know there's no sense in even trying to compare myself to anyone else. The only competition I'm in is with my body and my illness and my brain. It's all internal, there's no outward competition from or for me. And that extends to workout buddies.

As for hubby, he's actually been using my punching bag fairly regularly! He enjoys it. He even put a stereo down in the basement so that he can listen to music as he punches, and he got his own boxing gloves (he didn't want to use my pink ones, ha ha). So he is getting some fitness in which is great. I'm glad he's found something he enjoys doing, as he would always complain that he hated going to the gym when I'd drag him along with me.
 
Definitely, me too! You just envision the person you'd like to hit, and have at it! You can get your anger out without getting arrested. :p When my brother and I were little, he had a dart board, and we'd hang a photo on the dart board of a person we hated and then try to hit them with darts. For awhile the photo on the dart board was of my brother's teacher. So I might apply that idea to my punching bag, I think I might tape a photo of the president to it. ;)
 
Hubby suggested yesterday evening that I use the punching bag to do some punching, but by that point I was too tired so I didn't do any punching. Hah, I think I could give the bag one punch for each politician I dislike and that would tire me out well before I run out of politicians...

It's been snowing pretty heavily all day, but fortunately a lot of it is melting even as it's still snowing. The roads are just wet, it's just slightly too warm for the snow to stick, so that's good. But I still don't want to go outside in this mess. So, I'm planning a lunch-hour gym session. I'm going to head down to the little gym and just see what I can do. If I can manage some weights, great, and if not, I'll stick to the treadmill. I'm feeling pretty good today, no nausea and only 2 bathroom trips, and my energy level is okay. So I think I'm up for at least trying some weights.

It's supposed to be much nicer weather on the weekend, they're forecasting 60 degrees F and sunny on Sunday! So it'll be back to springtime weather again. I suggested to the hubby that perhaps we could go to a state park and take the dog on a hike, and he seemed to think that was a good idea. He's been in an odd mood lately - at his chef job, one of his best friends just got fired (this is the same guy who initially hired hubby at the restaurant) and hubby said that now all the people he enjoyed working with are gone. So that made him quite depressed but apparently also spurred him into action - he applied for a job at a temp agency that is more in line with his degree. He's got a job interview today at the temp agency, and if they like him then they'll arrange an interview with the actual company where the work will be done. If hubby could get this job, it'd be a great thing for him. Being a chef, he's on his feet all day and it exhausts him. He enjoys the work but I know he feels bad because we're still paying off his student loan, and he's not using his degree at all right now in his current job. Getting a job where he actually uses his degree, that would be great for him. (His degree is in art/animation, and the job he's interviewing for is video editing, so not his exact field but close enough, it's close enough that he'd be satisfied with it.)

It's supposed to snow again tomorrow so I'm not sure what I'll do. Friday it's supposed to be sunny, no more snow, so I'm already planning a walk for that day, so maybe tomorrow will be a rest day. I'll probably walk Lily on Saturday and maybe do some more weight lifting if I'm feeling up to it. And of course hopefully some hiking on Sunday. This all feels rather ambitious but I think I can do it.
 
Just got back from the gym. I feel good! I was able to lift weights. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to - yesterday I had some fairly annoying LRQ pain after my walk, and it sort of lingered into today, and I was afraid that it would stop me from working out. But I think lifting weights actually made the pain go away, as I really don't feel it now. That's very encouraging.
 
That's good news Cat,but don't forget the way things have been going lately.
Maybe Hubs suggested the punch bag work out because he saw a glint in your eye that meant you might punch him ? As for his "funny"mood.Well,things for you both are uncertain at the moment.We mostly like things to carry on as they are,but you're young enough to cope with change,and hopefully it will be for the better.
 
I know, and I'm sort of terrified to try tapering my pred again because that's when everything seems to go downhill for me. But I have to taper my pred, so I just have to be brave and do it. I'm thinking I'll try it tomorrow - that way, if it goes badly, I'll have the weekend to recover. I'm at 8 mg currently and I'm going to try to go down to 7 mg. I think that'll be reasonably safe - I had gotten as low as 6 mg before without issue but then I had flare symptoms and went back up to 8 mg. So I think I'll be okay at 7. We'll see I guess. I am just so sick of being on pred and so sick of having taper issues, I just want to be off of the stupid stuff already and done with it. But, like just about everything else in my life, I have to fight hard to get there. It just can't ever be easy.

I'm in a mood today. I woke up with a headache, and I feel really fat today (can't seem to lose any of the pred flab that I've gained). I tried putting on makeup to make myself feel prettier, but I feel like it just makes me look worse. My lipstick is making my face look even more pale than usual. It's one of those days where I just want to run away and not be me today. I tend to think of myself as 3 entities - there's me, the personality, and then there's my brain and my body, and it's like I'm living with 2 bad roommates that I can't get away from. My brain tells me things, like I'm too fat and should starve myself (I had anorexia for 3 years as a teen and it's the sort of thing that you never really fully recover from), and my body of course is a huge jerk most of the time. But today my issue is with my brain. It's telling me I'm worthless and fat and ugly and all sorts of terrible things. I know that's not true, but it's hard when it's coming from within. It's like how I have to separate my grandma from her dementia, I have to separate myself from my destructive thoughts, because I know that it's illness talking and not me. But it's hard, because it is coming from a part of me, the ill part. So I'm in a mood because I don't want to deal with this crap today.

On a day like this, exercise is the one thing that can reliably lift my mood. So I'm thinking about trying some gentle yoga tonight. I'm just going to pull up some yoga videos on youtube and give it a try, I think. In the meantime I'm just trying to walk around as much as I can and do deep breathing to keep myself calm.
 
Good idea.You need something to stop yourself having negative thoughts.
We all have them sometimes and me telling you it will pass won't help.But it will pass.
 
I'm having a rough morning but fortunately I know the reason this time. Yesterday I got home from work and I was in such a terrible mood. I didn't feel like doing yoga, I only felt like yelling or crying. I asked hubby if we could go get ice cream and he said sure. So we went and got some pints from a local place. I really wanted something chocolatey, but they didn't have anything with a lot of chocolate in it. I ended up getting an espresso flavor. It didn't seem to have real espresso in it so it didn't trigger a migraine, but it did have almonds in it. Eating nuts, even if I chew them really well, seems to bother my guts, and of course dairy isn't really my friend either. Sure enough, this morning I'm having some loose stools and feeling run-down and unwell. My body isn't happy with me. But at least I know where to lay the blame, it's on me for eating that stupid ice cream with nuts. It's not a taper fail, yay! :)

If I'm feeling up to it this afternoon, I'm still going to try for a walk. Walking always helps my guts feel better. But we'll see how I'm doing and how near to a bathroom I need to stay.
 
I had a craving for ice cream and bought a tub of strawberry.That was 4 weeks ago,and it's still in the freezer.Then I bought coffee flavour and only had a couple of spoonfuls as it had softened by the time I got it home.I don't have a problems with ice cream so I don't know why I haven't scoffed the lot.I haven't left the house for 2 days after a good couple of days on the bike.Just feeling lazy,I suppose.
 

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