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Yeah, I know the house is going to feel empty, because for the 2 overnights that she spent at the emergency vet (once for her surgery and then another time when she started having seizures and they wanted to observe her for 24 hours after giving her the loading doses of the anti-seizure med), the house did feel really empty when she wasn't there. I'm going to bring her with me in spirit when I go hiking. I already know that I want to have Lily cremated, and I'm going to put a small amount of her ashes into an urn necklace so that she can go hiking with me. I'm also putting a tuft of her fur into my hiking bag, and I had ordered a small notebook online that has her photos printed onto the cover. I like having a journal/sketchbook when I go hiking, so now Lily will be on the cover of that (my grandpa is on the cover too). That's currently how I'm planning to cope, I'm going to get out of the house but still bring her with me in small ways.

I know I won't be ready for another dog for awhile, for months or maybe years. But when I am ready, I will get another rescue too. Lily is a purebred pembroke Welsh corgi, but she's a rescue. Her previous owner could no longer keep her, and none of her friends or family could/would take Lily, so then she put the word out at work that she had a dog to re-home. Hubby and I had recently bought our house, which is right near a large dog park, and we were looking for a small-ish dog and we were actually thinking a corgi mix would be nice. So I worked with Lily's former owner, and I heard though the grapevine that she had a dog that needed a home - and when I found out the details (corgi, she was 2 years old at the time so not a crazy puppy anymore but also not by any means an older dog, fully trained including crate trained) I said yes immediately. It was like the perfect dog just fell into my lap! I got so lucky finding Lily, and even with her cancer, I regret nothing. She's been the best dog ever.

So, when I am ready, I'm going to put in an application to foster with a corgi rescue group. But I know that won't happen for quite some time. I might even wait until my cat goes. She's 14. I've been telling my cat that she has to hang around for awhile longer, hopefully a few more years at least, because I don't think I could handle losing both my girls at once. And I can tell that my cat is giving me a bit more affection lately, maybe it's because she's feeling starved for attention because I'm focusing so much on Lily, or maybe it's because she knows I'm going to need to lean on her heavily in the near future. Our only other pet besides Lily and Lydia (Lydia is my cat's name) is one very old gerbil. My gerbil is nearly 3 years old, which is extremely old for a gerbil, so I don't expect him to be around much longer either. It's going to be the Lydia show very soon. She was an "only pet" and the queen until we got Lily. So I'll let her be the queen again for at least awhile if not for the rest of her life.

Lily isn't feeling super well this evening. She had a very big appetite, but was acting pretty lethargic. Then she vomited up what seemed to be everything she had eaten this evening. She's been resting ever since. Hasn't vomited since so that's good news. We were told that her anti-seizure med could make her nauseous, so maybe it's that, or maybe she just ate too much. I'm a bit worried though because of course it could be the cancer doing this. Cancer complicates everything! And I don't want to see her feeling unwell, that sucks. So we're just monitoring her closely right now. I haven't given her any food since she vomited, but she's still drinking & peeing & pooing, so mostly everything seems okay. I'll just try not to indulge her huge appetite quite as much in the future and will keep a close eye on how she's feeling.
 
sending support to you and Lily Cat , hopefully today will be a better day for both of you .
 
Thanks Tony. She hasn't vomited since last night, so that's good. I think she's just been eating way too much. When I came home on my lunch break today, she pooped 4 times in about 30 minutes! And one of the bowel movements was so large, so much volume, I couldn't get it all into one bag. So much poo. So, we've eased way up on the amount of treats that she's getting tonight, and that seems to be working, except that she keeps bugging us for treats. :p

So yeah, I think she's doing better and fortunately that one was an easy fix. Phew! I'll be more careful about how much she's eating from now on. She'll still get plenty of treats, but just not quite as many because I don't want her to vomit again if we can avoid it. Not fun for her and not fun for me. (Also really not fun for hubby because I made him clean it up!)

Tony, how are you doing? I hope you're reasonably okay - I'm sure things are still really tough and painful and sad right now. Please take care of yourself. I'm here if you need to talk at all.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
Thanks Tony. She hasn't vomited since last night, so that's good. I think she's just been eating way too much. When I came home on my lunch break today, she pooped 4 times in about 30 minutes! And one of the bowel movements was so large, so much volume, I couldn't get it all into one bag. So much poo. So, we've eased way up on the amount of treats that she's getting tonight, and that seems to be working, except that she keeps bugging us for treats. :p

So yeah, I think she's doing better and fortunately that one was an easy fix. Phew! I'll be more careful about how much she's eating from now on. She'll still get plenty of treats, but just not quite as many because I don't want her to vomit again if we can avoid it. Not fun for her and not fun for me. (Also really not fun for hubby because I made him clean it up!)

Tony, how are you doing? I hope you're reasonably okay - I'm sure things are still really tough and painful and sad right now. Please take care of yourself. I'm here if you need to talk at all.
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At least, with her going so often and so much, you know she's not obstructed. If she were vomiting only, it would definitely be cause for concern since you said she had the cancer on her intestines. That's very good news that she is still able to go relatively normal. Have you been adding pumpkin to her diet? Definitely make sure she gets plenty of water since pumpkin has a lot of fiber and will bulk up her stools. If there is not enough moisture, it could cause impaction and you don't want that! Regardless, I'm glad she's doing better. :)
 
The cancer was found to have spread to the omentum, which I believe is technically its own organ and not part of the intestines. I think I read that scientists just determined recently that it's its own thing, it's a separate organ. But yeah, it's the fatty protective layer that covers the intestines, so it's very close to the intestines and might potentially affect how the intestines operate. And yes, we've been giving her pumpkin regularly, and she seems to like it.

She gets plenty of water as well - she's been drinking a ton of water lately. The phenobarbitol that she's on for the seizures, that makes her drink a lot, so we refill her water bowl 2 or 3 times per day (previously it was typically once per day). So she's good on drinking water. She also loves ice cubes as a treat, so I sometimes give her ice if she seems like she's a bit too warm.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
Thanks Tony. She hasn't vomited since last night, so that's good. I think she's just been eating way too much. When I came home on my lunch break today, she pooped 4 times in about 30 minutes! And one of the bowel movements was so large, so much volume, I couldn't get it all into one bag. So much poo. So, we've eased way up on the amount of treats that she's getting tonight, and that seems to be working, except that she keeps bugging us for treats. :p

So yeah, I think she's doing better and fortunately that one was an easy fix. Phew! I'll be more careful about how much she's eating from now on. She'll still get plenty of treats, but just not quite as many because I don't want her to vomit again if we can avoid it. Not fun for her and not fun for me. (Also really not fun for hubby because I made him clean it up!)

Tony, how are you doing? I hope you're reasonably okay - I'm sure things are still really tough and painful and sad right now. Please take care of yourself. I'm here if you need to talk at all.
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Hey Cat , its tough but the tears are not coming as much now , its still and always be the small things that get me most , like always getting the end of a sandwich and always giving him a piece of anything i was eating , or last thing at night bringing him out for a small walk , but its part of life , the pain will decrease but the love will remain , I think apart for a parents love for a child the love we have for our furry friends is a very close second .
 
Tony, sending you a big hug. I think I'm going to miss a lot of the small things, too. And I know what you mean, I don't have kids (I am just not a kid person, I don't really like kids) so my hubby and my pets are my family. It's like losing a member of the family. And even though I know on a rational level that pets tend to die before their human counterparts, I just wasn't prepared to be losing her so early. She's only 8, and corgis can live to be 15, so I always expected that I'd watch her grow old, you know? Now I'll be lucky if I see her reach her 9th birthday next month (Sept 15th). It sucks. I know you lost Joey at the same age as Lily is so I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about.

And if she does make it to Sept 15th, you'd better believe she's going to have an amazing birthday party! I'm going to invite her corgi friends and buy an expensive doggy birthday cake, there will be party hats and balloons and everything. Wait, maybe not balloons, as she doesn't like them! It'll be a party with everything except for balloons. ;)

Lily seems to be feeling pretty well today. Still a bit lethargic but that seems to be our new normal. No further vomiting and bowel habits are going back to normal. Hubby said we should take her for a walk tonight - the weather is looking nice and she seems to be feeling up for it, so we'll bring her and her wagon over to the dog park and see if her friends are around. We'll let her walk as much as she's comfortable with, and then put her in the wagon when she starts to tire out.
 
Thanks Cat great that Lily is still able to take small walks and the cart is a great idea , seems she is still enjoying life thanks to you and your oh ,
as you said its the young age thats gets you the most , 8 is so young for a corgi ,
we have a grown up son and Joey was really like a second child to us
I have had two younger brothers die a few years ago and the pain and loss is comparable ,
people might think Im nuts because of this but its the truth ,
Joey was a part of our family for nearly 8 years
I saw him every day and he was at my side apart from my hospital stay last year and a five day holiday I had in Portugal , we even got him a doggy passport so we could take him with us
Some days I have doubts about whether I put him to sleep too soon but even the vet said better a week too early than a day too late
I miss him and I will always miss him but I know he will be in my heart forever .
sorry for rambling on your fitness thread again Cat .
 
I definitely agree, the pain is comparable to losing a family member. Lily is my first ever dog so I've never been through this with a dog before, but so far it's a very painful process to know that your animal is actively dying. I lost my grandpa last year, and I have cried more about Lily than I did about my grandpa. To be fair, he was quite old and very ill and was ready (he had told me for awhile that the only reason he was sticking around was to be there for my grandma, and then a couple months before he died he told me that he was ready to go). So I couldn't be totally sad about that, because I knew he was ready and that he was in a lot of pain and didn't have a good quality of life and he was old (84) and it was his time. I was sad about it, but it wasn't a surprise.

With Lily, it was totally a surprise, she's not very old and I feel like it's not her time yet, or at least it shouldn't be. It's not right, you know? With my grandpa, it was sad, but it was right - he had a long full life and his life had reached its natural end. With Lily, it's sad, and it's not right - she's only lived half her life. The only comparison I have for it in my own personal experience, is that when I was 19 I lost a very dear friend very suddenly - he died in a house fire. Obviously it wasn't his time as he was also 19, that hit me very, very hard and still affects me to this day. Lily's illness is a lot like that, it came on very suddenly and it's so unfair because both she and my friend have/had a lot of life left. My grandpa's death felt fair, and Lily's and my friend's are very unfair. That's just life though I guess. Nobody ever said it's fair. It just feels extremely unfair, though.

Anyway. We had another walk yesterday, didn't take the cart as we only went a couple of blocks. There's a small creek a couple blocks from my house, so we walked down to the creek and back. It wasn't very far, but I could tell Lily was getting tired out on the way back from the creek. Her energy and stamina are definitely taking a hit from her illness. She stopped a lot to sniff things, which is typical for her, but when she was walking she was going pretty slow and was panting fairly heavily even though it wasn't particularly warm out (about 70 F) and we were not going at a fast pace. She's never been a dog that enjoys warm temps anyway, though, she loves cold and winter and snow. So even though 70 doesn't feel super warm to me, it seems to feel warmer to her. (Oddly enough, she came from a warm place! Her original owners lived in California, she came to Wisconsin when she was 2 years old and her former owners could no longer keep her so she became my dog.)

We'll probably walk again tonight, if she's feeling up for it. Might take the wagon out again so that we can go to the dog park.
 
Didn't end up walking last night. Hubby needed me to drop him off at his boss's place so that they could do some work in anticipation of a big convention this weekend (they are costume vendors so they go to a lot of renaissance fairs and sci fi conventions and things like that). So that ate up a chunk of my evening, fighting rush hour traffic to get hubby over to his boss's and then fighting traffic again to get home.

Probably won't walk tonight either, I seem to be at the start of yet another migraine, ugh. Woke up with a throbbing head and lots of sinus pressure. My guts aren't super happy either which is exactly what happened with my last migraine. In addition to that fun, I've had a few med switches lately - as of today, I tapered from 5.5 mg down to 5 mg of pred, and a few days ago I had to switch mesalamine formulations. I had been taking name-brand Lialda, but then for some reason either my doctor or the pharmacy switched me to generic mesalamine (which, from what I've read, is closest to Asacol HD, which I did not do well on). I've talked with a nurse at my GI's office, and they can switch me back on the next refill, but for a month I've got to take the generic and I'm not sure that my guts are super happy about it. Add in a migraine and my guts are really not pleased with me right now!

So, no walking tonight, I'm just trying to survive today. Will likely rest all weekend, which is frustrating because I had wanted to go hiking, but I know I need to do what's best for my body. Right now that is definitely rest. I do plan to venture out a few times - I need to go to the compounding pharmacy tomorrow morning to pick up a refill of my LDN. And on Sunday, there's an event at a local pet store where free goody bags of dog treats are being handed out and other dog treats are on sale, so I'd really like to take Lily to that and get her some treats. And, if I'm feeling up to it, I'd like to briefly check out the convention that hubby will be working at - his boss invited me to come, they have a free pass for me to get in, and I know that there will be a vintage kimono seller in the vendor area and I loooove vintage kimonos. I love fabric, sewing, vintage clothes, and of course I love Japan, so it's like a lot of things I love all in one! So wish me luck, hopefully I'm feeling well enough to do all of that. Aside from those things, I'm going to rest and eat blandly until I start feeling better.
 
I'm so happy that Lily is still toddling about and enjoying her food.Alfie used to love the pet supermarket,it was his favourite place in the whole world.Second was a river or lake to swim in.You've got a busy weekend ahead so I hope you start to feel better so you can enjoy it.It's a long holiday weekend here so we've been out on the bikes a couple of times as it's doubtful we'll get out again before Tues.I've not been feeling well either so we will probably just walk local.There's live music on at the park over the road on Sunday.
Have a good weekend Cat.and remember ....one day at a time.
 
Yes, definitely one day at a time. I'd get overwhelmed if it was any more than that! We don't have a holiday weekend this weekend, but the weekend after is Labor Day so we will have a long weekend then.

Lily is definitely still enjoying her food. Immediately after having her lunch today, she looked at me as if to say, "More?" So I gave her some yogurt and she gulped that down and again looked at me to ask for more food. She's a bottomless pit when it comes to appetite! I don't want her to vomit again if we can avoid it, so I'm not giving in to her every single time she wants food. But I also still do want to spoil her and want her to be as happy as possible, so I'm giving in to a lot of her food whims. So far so good, we haven't had any further vomiting from her yet.

She is going downhill bit by bit, though. I am not sure if the cancer has spread to her sinuses, but I'm guessing that might be the case. In the past, she'd occasionally get a bit of sinus/nasal congestion and make a loud "snerk-snork-snerk-snork" sound to try to clear out her sinuses. Before she got cancer, she'd maybe make that sound once or twice per year, it hardly ever happened. Now it's happening almost every day. It seems to happen after eating, especially after she has lunch. It didn't happen today, but I think it happened every day this week aside from today. She'll eat, and then immediately snerk-snork and sometimes she'll cough too. It's very disconcerting. I presume it's another sign that she's dying. I hate that.

On a good note, I went to the pharmacy and got some extra strength acetaminophen, and my headache/migraine is much improved. My guts are also feeling less grumpy, so I'm feeling better all around. I'm definitely still going to rest for tonight at least, and will re-assess how I'm feeling tomorrow. My migraines can last for days and can sometimes come back with a vengeance when it seemed like it was on its way out, so I don't trust it yet. I could very easily wake up tomorrow feeling worse, so I'm going to rest and take it easy.
 
Oh good! The pharmacy just called and they can refill my Lialda now! Phew. I did not want to have to take the generic. Don't want to flare if I can avoid it. It's nice when stuff actually gets done on a Friday afternoon! I was not expecting to be able to get my Lialda so quickly, I'm quite happy.
 
Good that you were able to get the right meds Cat , and than your migraine is easing up , no matter what they say with some drugs generic is not good enough ,
good that Lily is still eating well , its good that she is still enjoying her food , it was a good indicator with Joey when he couldn't eat his favorite food and started getting sick that it was nearly time ,
I really hope that you get as much quality time with Lily as possible , its hard to know what to say but I'm thinking of you and Lily and sending you my support .
 
As I said earlier we had three good years with Alfie after he was dx'd with Lymphoma.I should say mis-dx'd !!! But he did have something,that's for sure.I dx'd Cushings through the web but by then it was too late.It was only the last 3-4 months that a noticeable deteriation showed up.I know we were very blessed to have him for so long but the daily anxiety made me physically and mentally sick.So you take good care of yourself Cat.We know when we first bring them home that we only have a short time with them by comparison,but for whatever reason it always comes way too soon.
 
Carol, I know that daily anxiety all too well, as I'm living it myself. I'm sure it's affecting my health as well - my stomach is often in knots, I've lost a few lbs and don't have much appetite, I'm more tired than usual even though I am usually sleeping pretty well, etc. I'm trying to take care of myself, but usually failing. It's just a very difficult time and I feel like I just have to survive it. That's all I'm doing right now is surviving.

My migraine is almost completely gone, and although my guts weren't happy this morning, they've calmed down now that it's afternoon. I was actually thinking about going on a brief hike, but then I checked the weather report, and there's a rain storm headed right for us. Ugh! I swear I checked the weather report yesterday, and there was nothing about it raining today. It was supposed to be overcast today, but no rain. Oh well. It's probably best for me to rest anyway. And there's plenty of things to do around the house.

Tony, thank you, no need to say anything as I know you've been through the same situation that I'm going through with Lily. I know you get it. Fortunately she's feeling pretty well today, no snerk-snork sounds and her appetite is still very good. I just fed her lunch, and immediately when she finished eating she looked to me to see if she could get more food. So I gave her some treats and now she's napping. Tomorrow we're going to the pet store to get a goody bag and some treats (apparently there will be treats for the humans as well, in the form of donuts - yum!). I hope you're doing reasonably okay and taking care of yourself.
 
Hey Cat thats put a smile on my face ,great that both of ye are doing ok and I know that look that Lily gives you after getting fed well
Im doing better but I find myself talking to Joey and forgetting that he’s not there anymore ,
I know that anxiety feeling as well waiting and hoping but its getting a little easier,
when we get his ashes back we will bury him in his favorite spot in the garden and will bury the ashes of our last golden Charlie next to him along with some toys and bits of wood for chewing ,
it will be like a pharaohs burial with all his favorite
possessions .Hugs and kisses to Lily.
 
I tried to put a picture on here of Lily but it didn't work. We did go to the pet store yesterday and got the free goody bag, and it was huge! It's like half the size of Lily. :p I got a photo of her next to her goody bag, and she's got a great big smile on her face. I'll try again tonight to get the photo on here.

Health-wise I've been feeling crummy. I've had diarrhea and low energy for the past few days. Hopefully this isn't a flare. I took a 3.5 hour nap yesterday and I still felt tired. Feel very tired today too (slept very poorly last night). Still just in survival mode.

No walking with Lily tonight as thunderstorms are predicted. We'll see what the weather does tomorrow and how I'm feeling and how she's feeling.
 
Feel better soon Cat ,
hope its not a flare , the worry and stress with Lilly can’t be helping
Great that Lily got her goodie bag
Feel better Cat and hugs and kisses to Lily
 
I'm feeling a little bit better this afternoon. I was able to eat and haven't had to run to the bathroom since this morning, so that is a definite improvement. I'm going to rest up as much as I can to hopefully continue improving.

Usually on weekdays I go home every lunch hour to care for Lily - let her out to potty, feed her, and just generally check in on her. Today, though, hubby was home, so I had a rare day of not needing to go home to care for Lily because hubby was already caring for her (usually he and I both work weekdays). So instead of going home on my lunch break, I went to the park and sat outside - it was in between thunderstorms and I even saw a little peek of sun which was nice, although then the thunder started rumbling again. It was nice to just go to the park and be by myself and soak in some nature and a bit of sun. That definitely helped me feel a bit better. I know I need to take better care of myself or I am going to flare. I need to find more times like that to escape to the park/forest, getting outdoors into nature always does good things for me. I have to make more of an effort to do that and not focus 100% on Lily - although it's hard not to focus on her because I know that she'll be gone soon, and I really want to focus on her as much as possible while she's still here. So I need to find some sort of balance between focusing on her while also making sure my own stress gets relieved. Easier said than done!
 
Guts feel better today. I've had a bit of gas but otherwise I'm feeling much improved. Unfortunately, my body just can't ever seem to let me just be okay. I somehow tweaked my back - while I was asleep! Ugh. I woke up and there's a lot of pain in the left shoulder blade area. Pinched nerve maybe? The pain is going from my back into my left arm and up into my neck. I can barely even turn my head to the left side. Not fun. And it makes me feel really old, that I essentially threw my back out by sleeping! :p

Lily is doing okay, but I'm a bit mad at hubby. Lily gets her anti-seizure med (phenobarbital) every 12 hours. He completely forgot to give her her evening dose yesterday! Neither of us realized he had forgotten it until this morning, when I saw that yesterday's half pill was still in the pill cutter (she gets 1.5 tablets every 12 hours). I really hope she doesn't have a seizure because of this! So far she seems okay, but I'm even more anxious about her than usual now.

On a good note, today is 6 weeks since she had her surgery, and she still seems to be doing reasonably okay. Still eating voraciously and doesn't seem to be in pain. And, her best friends invited themselves over yesterday! A lady who lives a few blocks away has 2 corgis, and they are Lily's best friends, they play together often at the dog park in the neighborhood where we live. Well, my neighbor was walking her dogs yesterday and they happened to walk past our house, and rather than go past, her 2 corgis were suddenly leading her up our driveway to our front door! Lily saw her friends and started barking with excitement. I looked out and saw corgis! :) So she got to visit with her friends for a little bit. That was very nice. And how cute is it that Lily's friends just head right up to the front door and invite themselves over! I thought that was adorable.
 
great that Lily had a good visit with her friends
I find when I have a pain like you have in your back and back a really hot shower works wonders and failing that a diazepam (if you have available and prescribed) works wonders in relaxing the muscles ,
hope you feel better soon Cat .
 
Tony, I don't want to take meds if I can help it, because I'm on LDN and I'm not supposed to take anything that's opioid-based (LDN is an opioid blocker, so basically anything that's opioid-based, including stuff like imodium, can potentially make me really sick because it essentially would turn into poison in my body because I wouldn't be able to absorb it or whatever - that's my rudimentary understanding anyway, my doctor said I'd get "very sick" if I took anything that's an opioid). I think I do still have some muscle relaxers left over from when I had whiplash from a minor car accident a few years ago, but I shouldn't try it. I don't know if diazepam is opioid-based or not, but I'd rather be safe than sorry and just deal with the pain. I'm at work currently, but when I go home I'm definitely going to put my heating pad on my back, and might take a hot bath too (obviously not at the same time!). If the pain doesn't ease up in the next couple of days, I'm also going to try to get in touch with my massage therapist and see if I can have a massage.
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
Tony, I don't want to take meds if I can help it, because I'm on LDN and I'm not supposed to take anything that's opioid-based (LDN is an opioid blocker, so basically anything that's opioid-based, including stuff like imodium, can potentially make me really sick because it essentially would turn into poison in my body because I wouldn't be able to absorb it or whatever - that's my rudimentary understanding anyway, my doctor said I'd get "very sick" if I took anything that's an opioid). I think I do still have some muscle relaxers left over from when I had whiplash from a minor car accident a few years ago, but I shouldn't try it. I don't know if diazepam is opioid-based or not, but I'd rather be safe than sorry and just deal with the pain. I'm at work currently, but when I go home I'm definitely going to put my heating pad on my back, and might take a hot bath too (obviously not at the same time!). If the pain doesn't ease up in the next couple of days, I'm also going to try to get in touch with my massage therapist and see if I can have a massage.
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Just to clarify, diazepam (aka Valium) is in the class of benzodiazepines. It is not an opioid which include narcotic painkillers like Percocet, Oxycontin, Hydrocodone, etc. It also includes loperamide (aka Imodium). This link provides more detail:

http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/guide/narcotic-pain-medications#1

You can always ask your pharmacist if you're unsure of interactions or you can use drugs.com drug interaction checker (here is the link for interactions between diazepam and naltrexone):

https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1684-0,862-441

Of course, Valium is highly addictive if abused, so I definitely understand your desire to abstain and use other relief methods. :)
 
Thanks for clarifying! Yeah, when it comes to pain, if it's at a level that I can tolerate and function at, then I'd rather just deal with it than take something for it. Shortly before I got sick 8 years ago, I was kayaking a lot and was taking a lot of ibuprofen for the muscle soreness. I'm not sure but I'd be willing to bet that all that ibuprofen at least played a part in me getting sick (with stress and possible food poisoning being two other factors at play during that time - the stress was, I had been downsized from a 10 person department to a 2 person department, so I still had a job but somebody still had to do at least some tasks from all those 8 people's jobs, and that person turned out to be me). So ever since then, I've not been a big fan of taking any sort of pain meds. I'd rather just deal with it than go through anything like that again. I know that even a relatively benign med like tylenol can mess with the liver, so I tend to just not take pain meds unless absolutely necessary (and even then I pretty much only take tylenol and that's it).

The good news is that the back pain has eased up somewhat over the course of the day. It's still hard/painful to turn my head, especially to the left, so driving has been a bit interesting. I have decided I'm just going to get in a lane and stick with it! No unnecessary lane changes for me right now. And I'm not getting on the highway unless necessary. Hopefully my heating pad and hot bath will help, plus I'm hoping that I can get a good night's sleep, and maybe tomorrow I'll be able to turn my head better.
 
My back pain continues to improve. I am still having a bit of a hard time turning my head to the left, but it's better than it was. There's still some pain, but not nearly as much as yesterday. I think my heating pad & hot bath plus a good night's sleep really helped.

We've got a long holiday weekend coming up as Monday is Labor Day, so most people don't have to work that day including me. I'm hoping to take at least one walk/hike. I just got some new hiking boots and I'd like to try them out. I probably will hike solo, without Lily, as her energy levels just aren't great and I don't think I can take the wagon on uneven hiking terrain (that's more of a paved path thing). There's a few local parks that I've been meaning to explore, so I'd like to check out at least one of them.

Hubby is going to be away working again for the entire long weekend, so it'll just be me and the pets again. I'll walk Lily if she's feeling up for it and if the weather cooperates. I'll probably also do more sewing and crocheting.

Lily was snerking and snorking again this morning. I can't see anything externally going on with her sinuses, but my guess is that there must be a tumor that's blocking some part of the sinuses or nasal area that she keeps trying to clear. Poor pup. I'm still making sure to give her tons of treats, and she hasn't vomited for something like 10 days, so she seems to be feeling reasonably okay otherwise.
 
Sorry that Lily is having some discomfort ,
hopefully its only temporary ,
Hugs to Lily and support to you .
 
Well, I know that Lily is only temporary, so I guess any situations pertaining to Lily are also temporary. (Gah, that's depressing.) But, two weeks from tomorrow is her birthday! She'll be 9. I'm really hoping she makes it that long. She's still feeling reasonably okay, so I'm fairly hopeful and optimistic about it. I know things can change in an instant with her, but I have so been wanting her to make it to her birthday. She needs one more birthday and I need her to have one.

I somehow managed to get some exercise today! :p My co-worker needed help moving around a ton of boxes, some of them quite heavy, so I helped with that for a few hours. It felt good. I know I need to take better care of myself and make an effort to get to the gym. It always just seems like such a low priority compared to Lily's needs right now. But I will try to make it a higher priority.
 
I think my exercise yesterday (moving heavy boxes around for 2+ hours at work) ended up making my back feel worse again. There's definitely been more pain today than there has been for the past couple of days. So I'll probably take another hot bath tonight. Going to rest up a bunch over the long weekend, too.

Lily was snerking and snorking this morning, which is new - usually she only snerks after her lunch, not after breakfast. I've turned into that crazy person who is neurotic about every single sound. I'm constantly asking Lily, "What was that sound? What does that mean? Are you okay?" And she just gives me a look, as if to say, "You're crazy! Now give me a treat!" ;)

She's still very excited about food. She had tons of treats last night while the Packers were playing - we have her bark every time the Packers score, intercept, have a good play, etc. The Packers played well last night, so there was a fair bit of barking happening, and she wanted a treat each time we had her bark. So there were a whole lot of treats involved yesterday! She's definitely gained some weight lately, too. Which I guess I'm not even going to worry about, she was fat when we got her at age 2 (50 lbs) and we had gotten her down to 36 lbs just prior to her surgery, but she'll get to be fat again now.
 
We're doing okay! She's about the same. Still very excited about food and treats, but energy level isn't great and she's still having sinus issues.

I went hiking on Sunday. Walked about 2.5 miles through the woods & prairie to break in my new hiking boots. Carried my daypack with me which weighs a lot. :p I was quite tired at the end of that hike, and the next day my hips were feeling a bit sore. I probably overdid things a little bit, since I haven't been hiking in awhile. I'd like to do more hiking, though. Hopefully my hips will grow more used to it the more I do it.

Lily's birthday is in 10 days. I think and hope she can make it. We're going to invite her best friends over for some doggy birthday cake. :)
 
Good that ye are both doing ok
You cant beat a hike in the woods to help clear your head
 
Cat-a-Tonic said:
We're doing okay! She's about the same. Still very excited about food and treats, but energy level isn't great and she's still having sinus issues.

I went hiking on Sunday. Walked about 2.5 miles through the woods & prairie to break in my new hiking boots. Carried my daypack with me which weighs a lot. :p I was quite tired at the end of that hike, and the next day my hips were feeling a bit sore. I probably overdid things a little bit, since I haven't been hiking in awhile. I'd like to do more hiking, though. Hopefully my hips will grow more used to it the more I do it.

Lily's birthday is in 10 days. I think and hope she can make it. We're going to invite her best friends over for some doggy birthday cake. :)
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Glad to hear Lily's still doing relatively well! Every time you post, I start thinking the worst but I'm relieved when I read she's still kicking. Hope she makes it to her birthday as I think it will be good for the both of you to have a fun celebration. :)
 
I know, I'm sure every time I post on here and on facebook there are people holding their breaths until they get to the part where Lily is still doing okay! (I have one friend on facebook who rarely checks in on facebook, but she told me she's been checking it every day lately just for my updates about Lily.) But on the other hand, if I don't post for a little while then people start to wonder what's up. :p I can't not worry people right now, whether I post or not. On one hand that sucks, I don't want to make everybody worry, but on the other hand it's sort of amazing. I have so many people, including many I've never even met, who are all rooting for my dog! It's crazy and wonderful to have support from all over the world. So, thank you guys for your support. It really means a lot!

So. Lily is still doing okay. :) Still getting tons of food and treats and enjoying every bit of that. No further vomiting and she hasn't had diarrhea lately either, her digestion seems good in spite of all of the treats and people food. Hubby got her some liverwurst and she's been really enjoying that. I am going to look up recipes for a dog birthday cake and try to make her one over the weekend. There is a local pet store that sells dog birthday cakes, but those cakes are kind of small and are quite expensive (I think the one I got her last year cost over $30!). I feel like I should be able to make a pretty darn good dog birthday cake for under $30, so that's the current goal. I also need to send out an invite to her friends (my neighbor's 2 corgis) to make sure they can come over on the 15th and have some cake too. Only 9 days to go now until her birthday! I'm optimistic that she can make it that long. I'm also excited for Sunday - I like to watch Packers football with Lily, and the first game of the regular season is on Sunday. She's going to get sooo many treats that day! :)

Fitness-wise I haven't done anything since my hike on Sunday. It's gotten colder here, it feels like autumn. I'm hoping to hike again at some point over the weekend, if I can talk my hubby into it. He's actually not working for one whole weekend! But then the following like 3 weekends he'll be working again. :p I got him a hiking daypack and filled it with some supplies, so all I need to do now is convince him to actually leave the house with me and go out into nature and hike for awhile. We'll see if I can actually convince him to do that or not.
 
Lily's still doing okay. (I'm just going to start out every post with that!) She's such a silly ham, I sat on the floor yesterday evening and petted her a bunch, and when I'd stop petting for even one second, she'd start nudging my hand with her nose. :p I printed off some recipes for dog cakes and dog-friendly frosting, so I might try some baking this weekend to see how things turn out. I also sent out an invite in the mail today to my neighbor who owns 2 corgis (Lily's 2 best friends). I'm hoping that my neighbor can bring her corgis to Lily's birthday party next week. I'm going to make adorable party hats for them. :) And there will be sooo many cute corgi photos. I'm guessing that this will be Lily's last birthday - right now she's got about 1.5 months left if the vet was accurate (or 0.5 months left if the internet is accurate). So I'm going to make this birthday count. 9 will be the best birthday ever.

If Lily makes it to Sept 23rd, and if she's still feeling reasonably well by then, I'm going to take her to the corgi picnic. We probably won't stay the full time (it's a 4 hour event), but I'd like to go. There's a dog park in south-central Wisconsin which is about a 45 minute drive away, and every year in late Sept they host a corgi picnic. There's usually 75 or 80 corgis and their owners who show up, all the dogs play while the people socialize, and then everyone eats a big potluck picnic. It's really fun. It's still 2 weeks away, so I am not sure yet if she'll be feeling up to riding in the car that long and seeing that many other corgis, but I'm hopeful that she'll be well enough to go. (Hubby will be working that weekend so it'll just be me and Lily, which is always a bit scary - if she were to have a medical issue, I'd have to handle it all on my own, which is a frightening thought.)

Speaking of hubby working on weekends, I was wrong about this coming weekend. Hubby is only off Saturday, it turns out he's working Sunday. I might go hiking on Sunday by myself then. I could do a hike in the mid/late morning, and then relax while watching the Packers game with Lily in the afternoon. Today is actually hubby's and my 15th wedding anniversary, and he's been talking about wanting to do some sort of anniversary-related activity on Saturday (we're both working today). Most likely we'll go ring shopping on Saturday - hubby had lost his wedding ring in a creek while kayaking a few years ago, and we never replaced it, but lately he's been saying he would like to get a new wedding ring to replace the lost one. Maybe we'll have a nice meal, too.
 
Hubby and I had a busy day of running errands and doing chores and visiting with his friend on Saturday. I also baked a practice cake for Lily's birthday, and that turned out quite well. She definitely enjoyed eating it! :) It's got carrot and peanut butter in the cake. I'll make another one for Friday. Only 4 days now until her birthday! She's still doing okay. She continues to have sinus issues, but she seems happy and doesn't seem to be in pain and is still enjoying food a lot. Hubby bought her a pork liver which we cooked for her dinner yesterday. She liked that very much!

On Sunday, I went for a longish (3 miles) hike. I had stumbled upon a really pretty-looking section of hiking trail awhile back and have been meaning to hike there, so I did that on Sunday. It's more or less a loop, it starts in a residential neighborhood which is weird but then it quickly goes off into the forest and you can't hear or see the city anymore. It also quickly goes up, up, uphill! I got tired out in the first few minutes, it was a lot of uphill and was fairly steep in parts. Fortunately after that initial big climb, then it wasn't so bad. And it was very pretty, because it went so much uphill, that there were spots to look out at the surrounding area, and there was a lot of forest too. It was mostly forest, except for a part where you go through a prairie. The prairie was also really pretty, and I saw a rare bird (pileated woodpecker) going from one forest to the other when I was in the prairie. That was really neat, I haven't seen that type of bird for probably 25 years! They are not at all common here, but they're extremely cool to see.

So after the prairie there was another section of forest, and then the trail looped around and went back through the other side of the prairie and then downhill. The trail ended in the same residential neighborhood where it started, but for some reason it ends about 3 blocks away from where it begins, so I had to check my map and make sure I turned down the correct street to where I had parked my car. :p It was a really nice hike, though. Challenging enough, especially at the beginning, super pretty, and I only saw a couple other hikers the whole time (it drives me crazy when there are a lot of people around when I'm trying to be out in nature away from people, so the fewer people I see while hiking, the better). So far it's my favorite hiking spot! I'd like to go back, maybe I can even convince hubby to go with me.
 
Happy Anniversary Cat , great that you are getting out and about in beautiful forests and trails , it must be great to get away from civilisation for a while
Hugs and Kisses to Lily
 
Tony, thank you. Yes, it's great and very much needed for me to get out into the forest and away from civilization for a bit. I feel so calm and relaxed when I'm in the woods. Part of me wants to never leave the forest! And the exercise aspect of hiking in the woods also does a lot of good for me, it relieves stress and makes me feel better both physically and mentally. I already am planning to do a lot more hiking once Lily passes away.

Lily is still doing okay. We brought her to the dog park yesterday evening so that she could see her friends - her 2 corgi best friends were there as well as another dog that Lily is friendly with. I know dogs are pack animals, and they do seem to form packs with their friends. So it's really nice every time Lily is able to see members of her usual pack at the park. She was coughing a bit at the park, which always worries me (the vet said that the type of cancer that Lily has often spreads to the lungs). And of course she got tired out, as her energy levels aren't what they were pre-illness, but we had the wagon with us, so we walked to the park and then took her home in the wagon. That's been working out really well. She had a fun time at the park and had a leisurely ride back home in her wagon.

Lily's 2 best friends are officially coming to her birthday party, too. :) That will be on Friday. I'll post photos on here if I can figure out a way to do so (I used to post via photobucket, but they changed their rules and now I can't seem to post photos from their site). Hubby unfortunately has to work on Friday out of town, so it'll just be me, Lily, my neighbor and her 2 corgis. Oh well. I'm going to make it a great birthday for Lily! I think I'm going to make some treats for the humans, and of course birthday cake for the dogs. Party hats for the dogs as well (Lily will only wear a hat as long as there are treats in front of her so I'll have to quickly snap some photos of that!).

So that'll be Friday. On Monday, it'll be the 2 month anniversary of her surgery. The internet says life expectancy is 2 months from the time of surgery, but both vets (regular vet and emergency vet) told us that 3 months is pretty typical - our regular vet did say that they really don't see many dogs at all who make it longer than 3 months, so I'm not expecting that Lily has much time left. The important thing is that she's not in pain, not suffering. The coughing and sinus issues seem minor and don't seem to be putting her in any distress or pain. So we'll just keep going with her as long as she seems to be pain-free and feeling okay and eating well and having normal urination and bowel movements all that good stuff. Just taking it day by day.
 
It's Lily's birthday. She made it! I'm so happy that she made it to her birthday. And, hubby got the dates wrong, so he didn't go out of town this weekend after all. He can see the fun (and help me wrangle the corgis) at Lily's party tonight, yay! I'm so excited. I made party hats for all the corgis, pupcakes for the dogs, and chocolate cupcakes for the humans.

Fitness-wise I haven't done much. We've had a heat wave here this week, it's supposedly finally ending after tomorrow, so I might go hiking or bicycling on Sunday if it doesn't rain. For now it's too warm to do much. Haven't walked Lily either because she hates hot weather. I'll wait for it to cool down before taking her on a walk.
 
Thanks Tony! I'm headed home shortly to frost the cupcakes and the pupcakes and get everything else ready. Lily's friends are coming over in a couple of hours. I went home at lunch and Lily seemed more lethargic than usual, but I did go home for lunch at an earlier time today than usual so that might account for it. Her appetite was still good so hopefully I had just woken her from a nap and/or she wasn't expecting me home at that time so it threw her off of her usual routine. I'll of course keep a close eye on her tonight to make sure she's feeling okay. And I'll let you know how the birthday party goes. :)
 
The party went well! Lily's friends seemed to have a great time, Lily loved having her friends over, and hubby and I were able to chat with our neighbor/friend for a bit. Many treats were had and all the guests seemed to enjoy themselves. And Lily is still enjoying the leftover pupcakes a couple of days later. :)

Our heat wave seems to have finally ended, but now it's raining. If the rain lets up, I'm going to see if I can get my road bike into my car. It's a hatchback and I've got the back seat laid down and I can also lay down the front passenger seat, so I think I can fit my bike in the car. If I can do that, then I'm going to take it out somewhere new for a ride.
 
Hope you manage it Cat,good fresh air and exercise will set you up for the week ahead.
Sorry you missed out on the job you were after, but hey,their loss.There'll be others.
 
Thanks Tony. Lily is okay. She's having a bit more coughing, the sinus issues continue, and the big lump under her right armpit seems bigger and different - previously it was sort of squishy, now it seems quite firm and dense. But she seems to be feeling okay and is still eating lots and seems happy and in no pain as far as I can tell.

I'm not so great. Sunday mid-morning (shortly after my last post in this thread) I got hit with urgent, watery d and cramps. I'm still trying to recover from that. I'm still having some d, cramps, nausea, fatigue, etc. Not sure what set that off. It's slooowly getting better. It's made me depressed though. I've been off sick from work due to this episode, I'm going to push myself to go in to the office Thurs & Fri at least. Hopefully I can make it through 2 days. I'm feeling very bleh though.

If I'm feeling better enough by Saturday, and if Lily is feeling okay, and if the weather is okay, then I'll be taking Lily to the local annual corgi picnic. It's looking iffy, though. They're saying it might be as warm as 90 degrees F, which is ridiculously warm, and Lily hates hot weather (so do my guts). It would be sad to skip it, as I know it'll be Lily's last opportunity to go to a corgi picnic. At this point I'm tentatively thinking that we'll go to the corgi picnic, but maybe only for an hour or so tops (it's usually a 4 hour event). It's been a lot of fun in years past, there's typically about 75 or 80 corgis and their owners who all show up to a park and everyone brings a dish to pass, the dogs all play together and the owners socialize and eat a picnic lunch, and there's a raffle for charity too. But if my guts are less than stellar and if it's hot weather, then I may skip the food and we'll just make a short appearance and then leave - for both my sake and Lily's.
 
Hope you feel better soon Cat ,
flaring really takes it out of you mentally and physically ,
Rubs and Hugs to Lily .
 
Thanks Tony. I don't think it was a proper flare, fortunately. I didn't have night sweats nor pains waking me at night, and I have been doing a little bit better day by day. Today was the first day for about a week where I woke up and didn't feel horrible right from the moment I opened my eyes. I actually have a slight appetite back and my bowel habits are becoming more normal - less urgency, more formed stools. So I think I'm okay, maybe it was a virus or something I ate or just a result of stress, who knows. Heck, maybe it's the weather, my guts hate hot & humid weather, and we've had a heat wave here this week.

Since I've started feeling better, I am planning on taking Lily to the corgi picnic tomorrow. We still probably won't stay more than an hour or two, since it's still going to be very hot out - Lily doesn't like hot weather either, and with her black fur and extra body weight (she's gotten a bit fat since her diagnosis with all the treats she's had!), I'm sure she won't be completely happy being out in the sun on a very warm day. I'm going to bring a jug of ice water for her (and for me too) and will just keep an eye on her and on my guts as well. We'll make an appearance for a bit, say hi to the other people and corgis, and then head out when one or both of us has had enough of the heat. Fortunately, the air conditioner in my new car works great, so we can at least stay cool on the trip there and back.

Aside from that, we're probably going to stay indoors in the air conditioning for the rest of the weekend. I'll be glad when this heat wave is over!
 
The corgi picnic went okay. Both Lily and I got too warm, my guts got unhappy and she got tired out, so we left early. I was a bit disappointed, too, the heat seemed to keep some people from coming to the picnic. Normally there are 75-80 corgis, this year there were roughly 40-50. And my neighbor who owns 2 corgis, she told me she'd be there, but she never showed up. Hmph.

The rest of the weekend we stayed indoors, in the air conditioning. Fortunately, today looks like the last really warm day. I'm looking forward to cooler weather! Tomorrow's supposed to be warm-ish and rainy, and Wednesday is supposed to be cool (today is another 90 degree day, Wednesday will be 68 degrees F according to the forecast). Bring on Wednesday!

Hubby's planning to have some friends over on Saturday, so I'm already thinking about a hike. Hubby and his friends play dumb games (like Dungeons & Dragons) which I don't care for, so I like to escape while they're over. The weather is looking good, cool but not rainy for Saturday, looks pretty ideal for a nice hike.
 
Thanks Tony. We're doing okay. Hubby made a roast rabbit for dinner yesterday, with cooked potatoes and carrots. Lily loooves carrots, so I gave her most of mine. :p She was very happy about that. She's still doing about the same, somewhat lethargic but in no pain as far as I can tell and still eating lots.

I'm trying little baby steps to take better care of myself. I've made a healthy packed lunch for myself 2 days of this week so far - baby carrots, grape tomatoes, olives, turkey pepperoni, goat feta cheese, fried tofu, avocado, and hard boiled egg, all with balsamic vinegarette dressing. Sort of like a cobb salad without the lettuce, because lettuce seems to be the part of salad that bothers me the most. I have seen little bits of either red or orange in my stool, so I know I'm not fully digesting either the carrots or the tomatoes (or maybe both), but I don't feel too badly. I'm trying, anyway. And now that the weather has cooled down a bit, I can hopefully go for more walks, too.

I see my GI this afternoon. I'm going to tell him about all the stress I've been under lately, with my crazy job situation and with my dog having terminal cancer. I don't know if there's anything he can do to help me in that regard, even though the stress definitely has affected my guts. Maybe I need an antidepressant or something, I don't know. I've already been prescribed Lorazepam for anti-anxiety, but I know that med is very addictive so I rarely ever take it. So I don't know.
 
Slight change in plans. My mother is coming for a visit on Saturday, so I'll go hiking on Sunday instead. The weather still looks good for that day, so that should be fine. And I can still avoid hubby and his nerd friends. :p

I made another video of Lily today, it's really cute. I'm going to try to remember to put it on youtube tonight so that I can share it with you guys. I went home at lunch as I always do, to let her out and feed her and check in on her. After I did all of that, I sat on the couch for a few minutes and was eating some belly-friendly leftover pizza (homemade pizza with no sauce - my GERD hates tomato sauce - and goat cheese because that's the only kind of cheese that my lactose intolerance can handle). Lily was intently staring at my piece of pizza and was making little "grr. grr. grr." sounds. :p So I took a video of that. She's so silly, and food is still her favorite thing! She really, really wanted me to share my slice of pizza with her.
 
Lily's gone downhill a bit more, becoming more lethargic. Yesterday, I decided I was going to take a walk on the paved forest path, rather than do a full wilderness hike. I started putting on my "taking a walk" clothes. Normally, when Lily would see me putting on my walking clothes, she would freak out with happiness, because she knew it was walkies time and she would implore me with woofs to hurry up and get dressed already. Yesterday, though, she just kept on resting. Not so much as one single woof. When she saw me walk out of the bedroom in my walking clothes, she just went straight into her crate, rather than freak out or look for her leash or anything like what she'd normally do. Ugh, poor Lily. I think the end is not far off now. As of today, it's been 2 months and 2 weeks since her surgery. The vet's estimate was 3 months, and it's looking like that'll probably be pretty accurate.

So, I went over to the forest path by myself and had a walk. Sometimes I just need to get away from home and away from my dying dog, just be by myself and refresh and recharge in the forest. It was a very nice day, not too warm and not too cold. So I wandered through the forest for a bit. Then, I came home, and I decided that I'm not done exercising for the day. I haven't lifted weights since Lily got sick, but yesterday I got out my weight bench and my dumbbells and barbell and had a fairly short weights session. I could tell that my body wasn't used to it, everything felt quite heavy and I got tired fairly quickly. But it also felt so good to be lifting again! I need to do that more. So that's my goal, is to start lifting a few times a week and get myself back up to where I was before. I feel logy and slow and chubby and tired, I'd like to use weights to transform myself into someone more energetic and muscular and happier. Lifting weights does make me feel happy, I had forgotten how good it feels. So, hopefully, you guys will be seeing more fitness posts in this thread going forward! It is my fitness thread, after all.

I'm also trying hard to revamp my diet and to eat healthier. I had started on that last week. I think it's already helping, too. When I was in Japan, I felt great the whole time, and my body loved all the food, so I'm trying to incorporate more of that into my everyday diet. I even made myself onigiri (rice balls with salmon filling, wrapped in seaweed) for breakfast today. I'm not very good at making onigiri, they're supposed to be a triangle shape but were more like blobs, but they were delicious anyway. :) And I'm sure I'll get better at it the more I make them.
 
Thinking of you and Lily , good that you were able to get out and clear your head .

Its so hard seeing them slow down and not seem to care about the things that they lived for , its good that she does not seem to be in pain , good thoughts and prayers to you and Lily .
 
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Thanks Tony. It is hard. I've also noticed that, in the past she's always been very impatient to be let out of her crate first thing in the morning. She's always standing right by the crate door and sometimes is whining. But this morning, she was lying down and didn't get up until the crate door was opened. There are a lot of little things like that which tell me that she's getting sicker and slowing down more. And I knew this was coming, but it's still hard to see all the little signs that she's dying.

Anyway. I'm still doing well diet-wise. I'm trying to incorporate more fruits and veggies into my diet, as well as many of the foods that I had eaten in Japan (rice, fish, seaweed/nori, tofu, eggs, etc), and I'm trying to cut out some junk food, and so far that's going well. My guts are almost suspiciously quiet and I'm only having about 1-2 BMs per day and they are formed and solid. All is going very well on the diet side of things. I just have to keep it going and not slip up. When my guts are nice and calm, I sometimes get cocky and think that I can eat something that I really can't/shouldn't, and I end up paying for it. So I need to remind myself to avoid that type of situation!

As for exercise, I was quite sore yesterday from Sunday's workout, but it was a "good" sore if that makes sense. Like, when my guts act up or my arthritis, that's a bad pain, but feeling sore from a workout is a healthy, good pain. I like it even if it makes me walk a bit slowly and stiffly, ha ha. :p I'm still slightly sore today but not bad at all, and I'm planning to exercise again tonight. I'll probably just do another brief and not too intense weights session in my home gym. I don't want to push myself too much, too fast, now that I'm getting back into it. I'd like to ease into it so that I don't injure myself or anything like that. So, I'll listen to my body and won't lift too much or too heavy. I'm excited, though, I really like getting back into fitness after basically having not been to the gym in months (not since Lily got sick, and she initially became ill in mid July). Fitness helps me not only physically feel better, but mentally and emotionally, too. It helps with stress and it just makes me feel like "ahhh!" like calm and happier.

The weather's being iffy this week, but if it's not raining tomorrow then I'd like to take a walk. I'm planning to lift weights again on Thursday. I'm not planning too far ahead, because I don't know what my health (or Lily's) is going to do.
 
I lifted weights yesterday and felt pretty good! I felt stronger and like I had more stamina than I did on Sunday, it felt significantly easier and I was able to exercise for longer than I had on Sunday. My hips (which both have arthritis) also felt pretty tight and stiff on Sunday, but they felt better and looser yesterday. All of this is telling me that I need to keep going and get back into the rhythm of exercising regularly. It's very encouraging! :)

My GERD has been quiet during my recent workouts, too. My GERD has a lot of triggers - it doesn't like tomato sauce, chocolate, greasy/fried foods, it doesn't like it when I lie down, and it doesn't like it when I use my abdominal muscles in any way, like if I'm exercising (even if I'm not specifically doing abdominal exercises, the ab muscles still are used at least to some extent in most exercises). Previously, I'd take one 300 mg ranitidine tablet and a handful of Tums just to be able to work out. That was working so-so, but I have found more recently that my belly just does not like Tums at all. They cause me pain. So, I decided to try to find another way to work out while appeasing my GERD but not taking Tums. The solution I've come up with so far is, I've taken 2 ranitidine tablets instead of one before working out. That's 600 mg which is kind of a lot, but ranitidine is a fairly mild and reasonably safe GERD med so I'm not too worried. My GERD is classified as severe, but so far (knock on wood) the 600 mg of ranitidine has been working pretty well. I haven't gotten the vurps during my 2 workouts that I've had so far. So far so good with cutting out Tums!

Lily is about the same as she was. Her appetite is still very good, thankfully. I gave her a dollop of plain yogurt yesterday along with her lunch. Then, when I came home from work in the evening, she had yogurt on her nose! I was like, has that been there since lunch? It turns out that nope, hubby had also given her some yogurt with her dinner, so it was from dinner and not lunch. We're both spoiling her with food, that's for sure. Oct 18th will be 3 months from the date of her surgery, and the vets both estimated she'd have about 3 months left (I believe one vet said that only about 10% of dogs with hemangiosarcoma make it longer than 3 months). That's only 2 weeks from today, so I know Lily's time is running very short. That reminds me, I saw a meme somewhere with a corgi, it said "Life is short and so are my legs." That seemed very appropriate.

The weather is looking great today. It rained most of the night, but now the rain has left for the moment anyway and it's sunny and going to be about 68 F today (about 20 C). Not too warm and not too cool, it looks ideal for a walk. Wednesdays are the one weekday that I don't have to go home at lunch to look after Lily - hubby works afternoons on Wednesdays, so he's home until lunchtime and he can feed her lunch and let her out to potty before he goes to work. That means that I actually have free lunch hours on Wednesdays and can do what I want on my lunch break. So, I'm planning a lunch hour walk on the paved forest path, and I'm really looking forward to it. Being able to escape to the forest for an hour is wonderful and very much needed.
 
I had my walk and it was really nice. The weather was perfect! But, I am stupid. :p I forgot to put on my walking shoes! I have a pair of walking shoes that I keep in my car at all times, they have the nice memory foam insoles and are really comfy and great for walking. But I was an idiot and completely forgot to put them on, so I ended up taking my walk in my work shoes - which are ballet flats with zero support and which are not particularly comfortable for walking in. Oops. I realized my error after I had already been walking for a few minutes, and at that point I didn't want to backtrack all the way back to my car, so I just did my whole walk in my work shoes. It wasn't too bad, but towards the end of my 40ish minute walk, my feet were definitely asking me where the memory foam is. :p Next time I'll definitely remember to change my shoes!
 
I'm happy to hear Lily is still paddling along nicely Cat. Just take one day at a time.You and she will know when it's time and let's it's a good way ahead.
Mentioning walking shoes.I asked my hubby if mine were still in the car just this morning.They are,but I haven't worn them since we lost Alfie.I used to do at least 6ml a day with him,more when on holiday in Scotland.My back dictates how far now and it has steadily worsened over the last couple of years.Luckily cycling doesn't affect it one bit.As to you walking in your flats,well I don't know how you managed that.The path must have been paved.?
 
Carol, yes, it's a paved walking path that winds along a creek and through a forest. A really nice little place to walk. And yeah, Lily is still doing mostly okay aside from the increasing lethargy. The tumor in her right armpit area, presumably a lymph node, is getting larger all the time. I would estimate it's probably close to grapefruit size now. We know the cancer had also spread to her omentum (the fatty protective layer that covers the intestines) and presumably to her brain as well, because she started having seizures shortly after her cancer diagnosis. I don't know how big those tumors are, but presumably they're also larger now. And she's still having some coughing and sinus issues. This morning immediately following breakfast, she started trying to clear her sinuses again (she makes a "snerk-snork" sound). My guess is that there's a tumor either in the sinuses or maybe it's the tumor in the brain pushing on the sinuses, so she feels like there's something in there that she tries to clear, but she can't because it's more than just mucus in there.

But, she's still eager to do tricks to earn treats. She's got this trick which we call "get the kitty." I can ask Lily a number of things, such as "who is your best friend?" or "where is the kitty?" or just "get the kitty!" - if I say any of those to her, she'll run off and find the cat and boop the cat with her nose to indicate that the kitty has been found. :p Then she woofs happily because she knows that she gets a treat for that, ha ha. Meanwhile, the cat looks extremely annoyed by the whole process. So yesterday I said, "Where's the kitty?" And she immediately found the cat and gave her a boop (and the cat gave Lily a swat) and Lily was so pleased with herself. So it's encouraging that she's still doing stuff like that, she's still interested in finding her kitty in exchange for a treat.

Fitness-wise I will take a rest day today. I was bad yesterday evening and had some cheese bread, and am paying for that now. It did not sit well in my stomach - I'm lactose intolerant - and I didn't sleep well and have had some bathroom trips this morning and also have a mild headache. So I'll rest today and will lift weights tomorrow instead.
 
Yes,I think it's sensible to have a break day.We need to take notice when our bodies tell us to.It's all very well pushing ourselves if we're at the peak of fitness but we're not.We can only do our best.I've been keeping up with all your posts Cat and myself and the rest of your crohnie family are with you every step of the way.Hugs.
 
Thanks Carol. :) Have you been riding your bike lately? Has it gotten colder where you are? It's gotten cooler here but still not too cold. Yesterday was beautiful weather, perfect for walking. Today it's a bit cooler, a jacket is definitely needed today, and it looks like it might rain. So this is a good day to stay in and rest anyway. Plus, you know me, I'm always doing something, even when I'm resting. :p I've been crocheting a lot. I've made a ton of hats, I've got about 5 totes full of hats. I'm going to give a few away as xmas gifts, and the rest I'm going to donate to a group that collects hats for cancer patients. So I'm always working on crocheting hats in my spare time (I recently made another blanket, too). Plus there are always sewing projects to tackle too. And I seem to always have a pile of books that I want to read. I can't just be idle, I need to keep busy even when I'm resting!

Lily continues to give me little signs that she's slowing down (or maybe I'm just paranoid about every little thing she does?). Normally, after she eats, she does what I call "happy rolls" where she rolls around on the rug and makes happy "rrr" sounds. That's how she shows her satisfaction with what she just ate. Today, after she ate her lunch, she flopped down on the rug and barely did half a roll and one half-hearted little "rrr" and that was it. I'm not sure if this means she's tired, in pain, not satisfied with her lunch? She had her favorite soft kibble, some treats and some plain yogurt, which normally she loves all of those things, and she did scarf them down with gusto. She just didn't express her happiness after eating. So I take that to mean that either she's not happy, or she's too tired to express her happiness (she was not too tired to eyeball my lunch the entire time I was eating, though). I don't know. Probably I'm just going crazy and reading too much into every little detail of what she does. I can't not worry about her. Hopefully she'll do the happy rolls properly after her dinner tonight, we'll see.
 
Hey Cat when Joey was fading , he would not even go in to his bed to sleep and he stopped curling up , I think it was causing him pain and he was fairly tired all the time , its good that her appetite is still good , that was the last thing to go with Joey , I don't think you are going crazy , Lily is your dog and you will notice things nobody would , I really hope that you will get to see the happy rolls tonight , there is nothing as funny and heartwarming as a happy dog rolling around , hugs and rubs to Lily and support and positive thoughts to you . Take care .
 
Thank you, Tony. Hugs to you as well. I hope you're doing as well as can be expected.

Lily doesn't really curl up much - corgis are such a weird shape, the short and stumpy legs and then the long torso with the barrel chest, the odd shape of her doesn't really lend itself to curling up much at all. But I do wonder if she's becoming more uncomfortable especially with the visible tumor in her right armpit area. It's so big that it takes my entire hand to cover it (including fingers). She doesn't seem to like lying on that side very much now and I'm sure it's because of that tumor. But that's the only visible tumor and I know there is at least one more in her abdomen that I can't see externally, so that might also affect how she lays down and if she does the happy rolls or not. I wish she could just tell me how she's feeling. I feel like I have to try to interpret what every little behavior means. It's hard to do.

She's still sleeping in her bed, so from your experience with Joey it sounds like that's a good sign. She's always been crate-trained, she loves going into her crate to sleep. I read somewhere that dogs who have been crate-trained, they think of their crate as being their den - deep down, dogs are still wolves in some ways. Their crate is their safe, cozy place where they can be comfortable and relax and feel safe & secure. And Lily always puts herself in her crate to wait for her treat when she sees that hubby and I are getting ready for bed ourselves. That habit hasn't changed since she got sick, she still always goes into her crate on her own when it's bedtime, and then either hubby or I give her a treat and shut the door for her. We once went out of town with her, stayed at my in-laws' house and did not bring Lily's crate. We figured she'd just sleep on the floor. Nope, she could not sleep without her crate! She paced the floor all night and none of us got any sleep. After that, we always make sure to bring her crate with us when we travel. She loves her crate. So I would take it as a major warning sign if she suddenly did not want to sleep in her crate. Fortunately, so far that hasn't happened. And I've made sure that her crate is very comfortable, with lots of blankets and cushions. So hopefully she'll continue sleeping in her crate with no issues.

Anyway. Hubby and I have been needing an emotional pick-me-up. I found out that a comedian that we both like is doing a stand-up comedy show in our city this weekend. I told hubby about it, and even though it's a little bit pricey, we decided to buy tickets to the show. I am really looking forward to it! I think I need all the laughter I can get right now. And seeing live comedy is really fun, I've been to a few comedy shows in my day - the coolest one was, a couple years before he died, we had front row seats at a George Carlin show. That was fantastic. Live comedy, there's just nothing like it - you can't get the same experience as you would from watching comedy on TV. It's so, so much fun. So I'm hoping we have a really good time at this show, we both need to have fun and laugh a lot.
 
Hope yourself and your hubby enjoy the stand up , laughter is really the best medicine , just checked out George Carlin on youtube , he was very good , im watching the one about religion .
 
Yes, George Carlin was a comedy legend. He was very famous for many years. It was pretty amazing to see him live, and to be in the front row (hubby was 2nd in line to buy tickets, he waited for hours) was just awesome. If you look up Carlin's "modern man" routine - we saw him do that one live, that was really cool. And his "7 words you can't say on television" is probably his most famous routine, although obviously it has swears so only watch it if you're not opposed to lots of swearing.

Lily did her happy rolls after dinner yesterday evening! :) Sometimes she does happy rolls on the living room rug, and other times she sneaks off to the guest bedroom to do happy rolls (not sure why, she just seems to really like the rug in that room). I had just gotten home from work and was changing out of my work clothes, and I could hear her from my bedroom - I snuck over to the doorway and watched her, she seemed very happy and did lots of rolling around. That made me very happy.

As for me, I got hit with some fairly bad nausea this morning. Guts are still unhappy with me. I also still have a headache - it's been rainy here, and changes in barometric pressure can cause me to get a headache or migraine, so it's probably because of the weather. It's still annoying, though. I'm also exhausted. Not going to exercise today either. Will re-assess how I'm feeling tomorrow.
 
We've been for a bike ride along the coast.Really enjoyed it too.It is getting cooler by the day but got up to 13c from 3c early on.I forgot to tell you Cat I got a hi-viz asics cycling jacket at a charity shop last week for £6.I had looked at them in the bike shop for £25-£30+ but they didn't have my size.I wanted to be able to wear a hoodie under it in the cold weather.
Lily's roll brought a smile to my face.Happy days gone by, except when Alf decided to roll in fox muck.Very potent !!!...Please try not to look to hard for bad health signs in Lily.We can always find stuff like that if we look hard enough.Just enjoy the good things with her.
 
Good job getting such a bargain on that jacket, Carol! You know I'm all about thrift too. :) I recently found an Armani jacket, in my size and fits me really well and is cute, for only $4 at the thrift store! That's the best bargain I've gotten recently. Probably couldn't/shouldn't ride my bike while wearing it, though as it's a bit fancy for that. :p

Lily is about the same. Still resting a lot but also still very interested in food. I found some dog-friendly "ice cream" (it's more like frozen beef broth mixed with goat milk) at the store recently, and she's been really enjoying having cups of that. Today marks 2 months and 3 weeks since her surgery. If she makes it to Oct 18th, that will be 3 months since her surgery, and both vets said that most dogs with this type of cancer don't typically make it past 3 months. So we'll see what happens in the coming days. If she makes it past the 18th, I don't expect her to make it very far past that date. But we'll see.

As for rolling, she's still been doing happy rolls, which is good - but I know what you mean about rolling in something stinky, I hate when she does that! I've promised Lily that I'll give her no further baths for the rest of her life, but I also told her that I will have to break that promise if she rolls in something stinky. So far she hasn't, but I keep an eye on her when she's out in the yard just in case!

Fitness-wise, I haven't done anything all weekend. My guts have still not felt well enough for exercise, so I rested all weekend (aside from going to the comedy show, which was very funny). That was frustrating to have to rest all weekend, especially yesterday, because it looked like a perfect day for hiking. But I listened to my body and stayed in. I sewed & crocheted instead. I ended up crocheting a few hats over the weekend, and I sewed a big cozy infinity scarf for myself too. Hubby said it looks more like a blanket than a scarf, that's how big it is! It's extremely cozy and warm in shades of soft grey flannel, I love it. I used 4 different pieces of fabric and patchworked them together into a scarf. I'm going to wear it a lot this winter!

I'll just continue to play things by ear day by day, both when it comes to my own guts & fitness, and also when it comes to Lily.
 
Armani, wow.I hope you're keeping it for "best".hahaha
Still enjoying little blackie.Hubby wants me to get a new one that I can step through,but there's no way I'd part with my little friend.Unless of course I start to find it difficult to cock my leg over the seat to mount.Funny thing is,I can only do it with my left leg.
I'm glad you're not pushing yourself when you're feeling a bit off.And you must trust Lily to know when she's feeling a bit off too.Animals are far more in synche with their health than we give them credit for.....Your scarf sounds nice,it'll be needed soon and will be really cosy.
 
Carol, I no longer keep clothes for "best" because then I just never seem to wear them at all. This article says it really nicely:

https://www.xojane.com/clothes/how-have-i-never-worn-this-dress-do-you-save-clothes-for-good

As for getting a new bike, there's no reason you can't keep Little Blackie AND get a second bike. That's what I did. :) I have a cruiser bike. It's sort of big and heavy and I don't ride it often. A couple years after I got the cruiser bike, I got a second bike - my nimble little road bike. I looooove my road bike (I'm sure I've posted about it before, it's neon green with bright blue tires, it's beautiful). So now my bikes live together in my basement when I'm not riding, ha ha. :p They're both good for different purposes, too. The road bike is for when I want to ride far and fast. The cruiser bike has a basket, and I can also attach the bike trailer behind it if I so choose, so I can ride it slowly and leisurely to nearby grocery stores (not the one that I tried riding to earlier this summer that's up a giant hill, though!). So yeah, if you think you might benefit from getting a second bike, and you have the room to store it, I say go for it. I like having an option of which bike to ride. I usually opt for the road bike, but not always. So even if you usually opt to ride Little Blackie, there might be times when you'd like to ride a different bike instead. Just my experience anyway.

I'm feeling a bit better day by day. I think today is the first day where I haven't had any cramps nor nausea. I don't trust it quite yet, though. And, tomorrow I'm getting my flu shot anyway, and I know that it's not wise to do a workout on the day of getting the flu shot just because of the arm soreness, plus it's good to give my body at least a day to adjust to the vaccine. So, my hope is to do a workout on Thursday or Friday, but of course I'll see how I'm feeling.

Lily continues to become more lethargic. Poor girl just does not have the energy anymore. Yesterday was like the one day this week where rain wasn't in the forecast, it was a very nice evening weather-wise, so hubby and I thought we'd take Lily on a short, slow walk. Just two short blocks down to the creek and back. By the time we had walked to the creek and turned around and were about a block from home, she was clearly exhausted - panting heavily and walking very slowly. Poor Lil. :( The rest of the evening, she rested in her crate. When I went to check on her at one point, she looked at me but didn't even raise her head. She was clearly completely exhausted by that short walk. I guess from now on we will only walk one block and then back, and/or we will take the wagon with us (we didn't bring it yesterday because we figured she could handle such a short walk without it). She still doesn't seem to be in any pain, and is still eating well - she scarfed down a cup of dog ice cream right after the walk. But poor girl, she's just so exhausted nowadays, and it seems to get a little worse every day. We're just keeping an eye on things. I don't think lethargy by itself is indicative that it's time to have her put down, but if anything else comes up, like if she stops eating or acts like she's in pain, then I think it will be time.
 
Hello Cat, I keep reading about Lily and she sure sounds like a lucky dog! I wish someone would pull me in a wagon sometimes;). I think you will know when it is "time," so keep spoiling your sweet girl. When I had Missy, she stopped eating and couldn't walk and then I knew it was her time. Even though she couldn't walk her stubby tail would have a fierce wag any time I walked in the room. So on her very last day I made an appointment, 5 pm, last one of the day. I felt sick, wondering if I did the right thing. We sat outside most of the day, she loved the fresh air. A little white butterfly kept fluttering by her and I all day, didn't really think much of that. Approaching 5 pm, my husband, kids, myself and Missy all headed over to the vet, all sobbing most of the way. While we were waiting in the lobby, holding Missy on my lap and looking out the window, a small white butterfly flew over and fluttered right outside the window until we were called back. The kids (and me too!) were just amazed by this little white butterfly! We knew we were doing the right thing for Missy. So Cat, just take it one day at a time and your sweet Lily will let you know when she is ready. Best to you !
 
Thanks, Jelly. I teared up reading about Missy's last day. How sad and sweet about the butterfly! I wonder if it'll snow on Lily's last day - snow is her favorite thing, and we usually don't get snow in October and often not in November either, I've really been hoping that she could see snow one more time before she goes. Not sure if that's going to happen or not. But as you said, I'll just keep on taking it one day at a time. (And checking the weather report for snow...)

And yes, she's a bit spoiled, I bought the wagon specifically just for Lily. It's a cloth wagon and it folds up for easy storage when we're not using it. It has cup holders for her water and I put one of her blankets in it so that she's extra comfy when she's riding in style. :) She might be getting a bit too spoiled now - she's gotten quite fat since her cancer diagnosis! She's a corgi, and corgis are supposed to be about 35 lbs max. She was 50 lbs when we rescued her when she was 2. It took us nearly 7 years, but we got her down to 36 lbs. She was only one lb away from her goal weight! But then she got cancer and all that went out the window. No more limiting treats, no more rule about no people food. She's dying so she can eat whatever she wants (within reason, obviously we're not going to give her something which could make her ill like chocolate). And, she's looking about the same as she looked back when she was 50 lbs. :p She looks like a sausage with stumpy legs! I feel a bit bad about that, but at the same time I'm not going to limit her treats at this point. So she'll just be fat for whatever time she's got left. I guess if I were given 3 months to live, I'd also eat whatever I want. And at this point she's got a lot less than 3 months - her surgery was on July 18th, so October 18th is her estimated date of demise. That's only 8 days away now. On our short walk yesterday, I mentioned to hubby that there's only 9 days left if the vets are correct, and he seemed very surprised and saddened by that. I guess he hasn't been obsessively counting the days like I have.
 
Lily continues to rest a lot. Usually, when hubby and I turn off the TV and put away our phones & laptops, she knows that it's bedtime and she puts herself in her crate and waits for her bedtime treat. If we forget to give her her treat and shut her crate door, she comes out of her crate and finds us and gives us a gentle nudge to remind us that she still needs her bedtime treat. Last night was the first time ever that she didn't do that. She stayed resting in her crate, did not come find me. I eventually remembered that she hadn't had her treat, and I brought it to her and shut her crate door - she remained lying down in her crate as she ate her treat. Another little sign that she's slowing down.

She also went right back to sleep this morning after getting up. I let her out of her crate first thing at 6 AM and took her outside so that she could go potty, and then I gave her her breakfast and pills. After eating, she zonked out and went back to sleep. And I mean, she zonked out hard, literally she was snoring by 7 AM. Poor Lil. She has hardly any energy at all anymore. I don't know how much time she has left - the vets' estimate gives her one week exactly from today. I would suspect that she doesn't have a lot of time left, every day she seems to get a bit more lethargic.

As for me, I had my flu shot today so no exercise today. I'll re-assess tomorrow how I'm feeling and will go from there. I'll probably do some sewing tonight as that always makes me feel warm & cozy - it's chilly and rainy here today, a good day to stay in! And I'm supposed to move my arm around to let the flu vaccine make its way through my system, plus that helps alleviate the soreness - I think sewing will allow me to move my arm enough without overdoing things.
 
I'm presuming it's because of the fact that we've had a lot of rain lately, but whatever it is - my hip hurts today! I have arthritis in both hips, not sure which type (GP thinks osteo, and I saw a rheumy who thought inflammatory). Normally my right hip is the one that tends to give me more pain, but today the left one is really angry with me. I don't know if it's the weather, if I slept wrong, something else? It's painful in the hip, in the butt cheek, and the pain is going down into the leg.

So, whatever the case, I'm not exercising when I'm in pain like this. I know my hips like exercise, but not when they're this angry. I have to let it improve first before I can exercise. Sooo, it's another rest day. Hmph.

Lily might be getting worse, I don't know. Our habit has been, I come home at lunch, let her out to potty and she urinates, then I give her lunch, and then after lunch she goes out again to have a poo. That's how it's been for several months now. Today, though, she didn't poo. She looked at me with slightly sad eyes and headed right back for the house. Maybe it's nothing, she doesn't like the rain so maybe she didn't feel like having a poo in the cold rain. But it is slightly worrying when she deviates from the normal. She is still eating with gusto though so I'll just keep an eye on her potty habits and make sure everything's okay in that regard. I know she has cancer on her omentum so possibly that could be affecting things? I don't know.
 
My hips are feeling somewhat better today, thank goodness. The rain has let up (for now, but it's going to rain all this evening and apparently all day tomorrow too). I sat with my heating pad on my left hip yesterday evening and I think that helped also. I'm planning to take a hot bath with epsom salt tonight, too, in the hopes that that will help. I can never tell if it's the epsom salt helping or if it's just the heat from the bath? I guess it can't hurt though so I'm going to do that.

I'm probably going to stay in all weekend. Tomorrow we're supposed to get a cold front which is bringing some strong and frequent thunderstorms with it. And then Sunday it's going to be cold and very windy. Sounds like a great weekend to stay in and sew! I'll exercise if I feel up to it. Mostly though I think I'm going to sew, crochet, watch movies, drink tea, sit under a blanket, and just generally stay cozy and not go outside in the very icky weather that we've got predicted. I have plenty of yarn and fabric and sewing patterns. If I feel like taking a walk, it'll be on my treadmill! I'm not going out in the cold and rain and wind.

Lily is still doing about the same. And she did poo yesterday evening when I let her out, and then again this morning, so I'm no longer worried about her potty habits. That fortunately seems all normal. And her eating is still good, too. She's still resting and napping often. Hubby is once again going out of town this weekend and next for work, but the places he'll be working are close enough to home that he'll be able to come home in the evenings, he won't be away the whole weekend & staying in a hotel like he often does. So, that's good. I sometimes worry, what if Lily has another medical emergency and hubby is away? I would have to have her put down without him being there, and that sounds scary and terrible and sad. With him working at events that are only 30-45 minutes away from home, that makes me feel better. If Lily has an issue, hubby can rush home. Hopefully she won't have any issues this weekend, but it makes me feel better knowing that hubby isn't so far away this time.
 
I didn't end up doing any exercise over the weekend. My guts were unhappy, especially on Sunday. I had a few urgent watery BMs on Sunday morning. Not sure why, I didn't eat anything unsafe. I did chores around the house - cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, taking out the garbage, etc. And I did make myself go to the grocery store once the worst of it was over with on Sunday later in the morning. But that's the most activity I did. I seem to have mildly injured myself, too. I was cleaning out a closet yesterday evening. I was making great progress, but when I went to reach for something, I felt a pain in my right shoulder or upper arm area. It felt like I maybe pulled a muscle? It doesn't hurt as much today, but it does hurt if I over-use it (like try to lift something even somewhat heavy). So weight-lifting is off the table for a few days at least until my arm/shoulder heals.

Lily continues to become less energetic. I was running the roomba mid-day on Sunday, and Lily was napping on the rug. She was doing that thing where it appears she must be dreaming, and her paws were twitching. The roomba bumped into her at least 5 times. The first 4 times, she didn't stir, and her paws kept twitching. Finally on the 5th time, she woke and raised her head, but then put her head right back down again. Poor thing, it's like every day I see another new indication that she has almost no energy. She's still eating, fortunately, but when she's not eating, she's resting.

The weather here is looking much better for this week. No more rain in the forecast! And the weather should warm up and be quite pleasant. I'm tentatively thinking I'll take a lunch hour walk on Wednesday (Wednesdays are the one day of the week that I don't have to go home to care for Lily, hubby works later on Wednesdays so he handles her lunch and pottying before he goes to work). And I'd love to go hiking on Saturday. The weather looks beautiful and perfect for a hike, and the leaves are all changing colors, it should be gorgeous to get out into the woods for a hike. I'm definitely looking forward to that! This is, of course, all dependent on how I'm feeling and also how Lily is feeling. Wednesday - 2 days from now - is her estimated date of demise. Wednesday will be 3 months on the dot since her surgery. So, we'll see how she's feeling day by day and take it from there.
 
hey Cat hope you feel better soon , give Lily a belly rub from me , I really cant imagine how hard it must be for you having to deal with health issues and having to deal with Lilys sickness for so long , sending good thoughts to you and Lily .
 
Sending hugs Cat.I know it's been a tough 3 months for you sweetheart.
On the plus side,maybe Lily was having the best dream ever and even being bumped by the Roomba wasn't going to make her give it up.I hope so.
 
Thanks guys. I'm just not with it today. I don't have to go home on my lunch today either, hubby worked all weekend so he's taken off of work today and is home tending to Lily. So, this morning I spent a bunch of time packing myself a really nice, healthy lunch. And then completely forgot to bring it to work with me. Just great. Well, I guess I'll have it for dinner instead, it's in my refrigerator at home just waiting for me. My brain is not working very well today. It must be taking a cue from my guts.

Carol, that's a nice thought. I always think, when her paws are twitching like that, that she's dreaming about chasing squirrels or bunnies. She loves chasing them but never catches them. Usually she dislikes the roomba though and doesn't sleep when it's running, and walks away when it comes near her. So the fact that she slept at all while roomba was running, and then the fact that she didn't stir when it bumped her so many times, that's really disconcerting to me. She's just not quite herself lately and I'm sure it's because of the cancer.

It really has been the longest 3 months. And also the shortest - I feel like I tried to make the most of my remaining time with Lily, but in that sense I blinked and the 3 months are somehow almost over. The stress and the worry lasted for ages but the fun lovely parts zoomed right on by. Time sure is funny that way.
 
Hubby saved the day. He brought me a lovely picnic lunch! He brought me my lunch that I had made and forgotten, plus some fruit and water, napkins and cutlery, in a little picnic basket. We went outside on my lunch hour and sat at a picnic table. It was a little bit chilly (about 60 F with a bit of a breeze) but sunny and it felt really nice to be outside after so many days of rain. That was really nice, I'm so happy he did that. Made me feel a lot cheerier. :)

My arm/shoulder is feeling better this afternoon, too. I had a little pain in it this morning but almost none so far this afternoon (knock on wood). I'm still going to give it another couple days or so before I do any exercise other than walking, just to be safe, but it's encouraging that it seems to be healing up so quickly.
 
Ugh. So on Sunday, when I was having urgent diarrhea, I took one zofran. Usually taking just one zofran slows things down but doesn't totally constipate me. Well, this time it did totally constipate me. I haven't really had a poo since Sunday. This morning, I had a very hard poo that was difficult to get out. After a lot of straining to get it out, I feel like I now have either a new hemorrhoid or fissure (or both?). My backside feels very uncomfortable. So, I guess I won't take a walk today after all. Ugh ugh ugh. It's always something, isn't it? I can never just be okay.

Today is Lily's estimated date of demise but she's still hanging in there. She was a bit playful yesterday evening, she had a bit of energy which was really nice to see. And she's still eating a lot. Her balance seemed worse yesterday and today, though. She's on phenobarbital for the seizures, and that med affects her balance. It seems like her balance is getting a bit worse, and I'm not sure the reason for that. She's been on the same dose of phenobarbital for 3 months now, there's been no changes that would account for her worsening balance. Maybe it's the presumed tumor in her brain that's affecting her balance? I don't know. At any rate, her little legs have been slipping out from under her more frequently the past couple of days. But she still seems to be feeling reasonably well. She was coughing again this morning and last night too, but that's no worse than it's been. So, we'll just keep taking things day by day, and continue to give her lots of treats.
 
I'm really happy to hear that Lily's doing good and has passed her due date.Every day is a bonus and hopefully she will be here to enjoy Thanksgiving and Xmas too.She's a fighter that's for sure.
As to you're problems,well I know exactly how that feels.I had the same problem a while ago and had to give my hubby a crash course in using the cooker.I was really ill and was very close to going to the hospital.I'd much rather have D., anytime.I've not been well since last Wednesday.Started with bad gut prob. then cystitis then a bad reaction to the anti-biotics therefore bad gut probs.again.I seem to be ok today,but I'm giving little blackie a miss for a while to make sure my bladder is back to normal. Oh deep joy eh.!!!
 
Carol, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling so unwell! I'm glad that it sounds like it's getting better, and I hope you continue to improve. That's a wise decision, to stay off your bike until things have gotten significantly better. I know it's frustrating, but it's best to heal up first and not exacerbate the situation by exercising (I know, you've said that same thing to me many times in the past!).

I'm still aiming to go hiking on Saturday. That looks like it'll be the last nice day of the season. It's going to be 70 degrees F and sporadic rain storms but later in the afternoon - I'm hoping to go hiking mid/late morning if my guts will cooperate with me. After Saturday, it looks like it's going to get much colder and be rainy again. So I definitely want to do this hike. Hopefully my guts can play nice and will allow me to do that.
 
Phew, I'm feeling better today than yesterday. Seems like it's a fissure and not a hemmie, which is good news for me - fissures seem to heal up pretty quickly for me, but hemmies can last for months and can bleed profusely. I only had the teensiest bit of blood on the TP yesterday, which is how my fissures usually are. And I'm feeling a lot less anal pain today, which is also how my fissures usually go. Whew! That's a relief.

Hubby's going out of town for work tomorrow, but he's not leaving until about lunchtime, so he can handle Lily's lunch duties tomorrow which means I won't have to go home on my lunch break. So, I'm thinking about taking a lunch hour walk tomorrow. The weather is looking perfect - sunny and low 70s F. And since I feel a lot better today, I'm thinking that I'll be in good shape for having a walk tomorrow. That'll be a nice warm-up for my longer hike on Saturday - for Saturday, I'm planning to do a hike on a trail that I've done once before, it's a 3 mile loop through a lovely forest. It took me about 2 hours to do the 3 mile loop the first time I did it. There's a lot of uphill and then at the end a lot of downhill, and I like to stop at times and take in the scenery and take photos. The only downside is that there are no bathrooms along the entire 3 mile stretch of trail, so if I have to use the bathroom, I'm going to have to go off the trail and squat in the woods. I hate doing that, but will do it if need be.

Lily's still doing reasonably well. She was really treat-hungry yesterday evening, she kept woofing at me, and when I'd look at her she'd turn her gaze to the treats jar - that's her way of saying, "Hey lady, I want a treat!" And I caved to her whims because she wasn't supposed to be alive as of yesterday. It was 3 months on the dot yesterday. She made it, and I'm so proud of her for making it this far. And I'm glad that she doesn't seem to be suffering in any way - still no pain as far as I can tell, and obviously she's still got a big appetite. No further seizures since the initial few that she had shortly after her surgery back in July. I haven't even had to call the vet in a couple months now except for when we need to get a refill for her phenobarbital! She's doing well, all things considered. She's still resting a lot and coughing and having some sinus issues, but the fact that she's still woofing at me for treats, that's amazing and awesome. Heck, the fact that she's still here at all is amazing. As Carol said, every day with her is a bonus.
 
I had my walk. It's really nice weather, slightly cool and windy, but sunny and it felt so nice to be outside. I felt sad, though. I was thinking of Lily the whole way, and feeling sad that she no longer has the energy to go on walks. It's just going to be me by myself walking solo from now on. I was listening to "Fantome", which is Utada Hikaru's grief album, on my walk, which didn't help me feel any less sad. It's a really good album but obviously it's pretty sad (Utada lost her mother to suicide and wrote a whole album about it to process her grief). At one point, I went around a bend on the path, and I saw a corgi! A couple of ladies were walking their corgi. This dog's eyes lighted up and she trotted right up to me and sniffed my hand - then just as quickly walked away. For some reason, that made me even more sad. It reminded me that my own corgi is very fleeting and will be leaving me almost as quickly as that dog did on the walking path. I had to stop myself from crying as I walked through the beautiful forest on a lovely fall day.

At any rate, I'm still going to do my hike tomorrow. Exercise + getting out into the forest usually makes me feel much better (both physically and emotionally), so I'll just call today a fluke. A longer hike through more challenging terrain will hopefully reset my brain and exhaust the sadness out of me, at least temporarily.
 
I ended up not hiking today after all. My guts weren't super happy with me this morning, and it was just enough that I couldn't make myself go spend 2 hours in the woods with no bathrooms nearby, while walking uphill and carrying my fairly heavy daypack. It just all sounded like too much. So I've stayed home instead. I'm hanging out with Lily (she's mostly resting but that's okay because so am I), crocheting, and playing some video games. Tomorrow will likely be more of the same, but that was planned anyway. Tomorrow it's supposed to be significantly colder, and rainy. If I'm feeling a lot better tomorrow, then I'll see about taking a treadmill walk or lifting weights or whatever.
 
We're going to attempt a bike ride today.First time for me since cystitis payed me an unwelcome visit.(10 days) The weather is a bit iffy but as long as it's not raining when we leave it'll be ok.As I've said before you're doing the right thing letting your tum decide what you can or can't do.All of my days start like that but I'm usually fine by lunch time.The trouble is I,like you, make plans for the following day and it rarely works out.But at least we CAN get out,unlike some poor folk who are house bound.
 
Carol, were you able to go on a bike ride? Did it go okay?

This weather is being rough on my body. We had summer-like temps on Saturday - it was 75 F and sunny. Today, it feels like winter - it's at most about 45 F, cold, rainy, and windy. It went from summer to winter in 3 days! They're saying maybe snow flurries tomorrow. I went from wearing a t-shirt and having the windows open, to wearing my winter coat and huddling under blankets. Brr! The drastic change has affected me in multiple ways. I feel headachey, my sinuses are all screwed up, I feel exhausted too. And for some reason my GERD is unhappy with me also - I had one piece of chocolate to try to get the headache to ease (sometimes the very small amount of caffeine in chocolate can help with that), but I got some pretty wicked reflux from just having that one piece of chocolate. I know that chocolate is a reflux trigger for me, but it almost always takes more than one piece to get my GERD unhappy. So, I don't think I'm in any shape to exercise today. I'll re-assess tomorrow.

Lily is doing okay. Still eating, still not in any pain as far as I can tell. But also still resting a lot. Her right armpit tumor is still getting bigger, though. It's so large that the skin is stretched tight over it, and there's a little bald spot on it. Just looking at it makes me sad. She seemed sort of out of it today, too. Didn't follow her normal lunchtime routine. Normally, when I go home at lunchtime, we always do the same routine. I let her out and she urinates, then I give her her lunch. She eats and then tries to beg more food off of me as I prepare and eat my lunch. She pesters me that whole time, and then when I'm done eating I use the bathroom, let her out one more time and she poos, then she goes back in her crate and I get in the car to go back to work.

Well, today she seemed pretty lethargic. She ate her lunch but without much enthusiasm, then went to rest instead of trying to get more food from me. She rested instead of pestered until it was time for her to go out for her poo. Then when we were outside, she just sort of stood there and looked a bit puzzled, like she wasn't sure of what to do. It makes me wonder if the tumor in her brain is making her a bit confused? Eventually, after much cajoling and prompting from me, she finally had her poo. Normally she's so much more enthusiastic when I am home for lunch, she just seemed so down today. I wonder if this means we're nearing the end. Maybe I'm reading too much into it and she just wasn't feeling lunch like she usually does. At any rate, it's maybe going to snow tomorrow, and snow is her favorite thing. I hope that cheers her up a bit.
 
It's so hard Cat.I don't know what's easier,Waiting for the end or the end itself.I know with Alfie especially,The end was far easier for me.Heartbreaking,yes,but deep down relief if I'm honest.A friend of mine lost at least three dogs suddenly (one at a time) and actually took to her bed with shock and depression.I've always made the decision to say goodbye to mine, but I always wonder if I could or should have kept them longer.I suppose guilt is part of losing a loved one,pet,family or friend........on a lighter note,I was cycling on Sunday and Monday.I was a bit tense on the rough but managed ok.Was in town yesterday,got a black sporty top for £I and a hair cut for 25 times that amount,hahaha.Rain today so going to the auction house for a mooch.
 
so true Carol , waiting for the end is so hard , at least with Joey we had to make the decision fairly quickly , I still second guess whether or not we made the decision too quickly but in my heart I knew he was so fed up and lethargic that the time had come , the most important thing is that the whole family agree on the decision , its really hard to let go but you have to put quality of life first and then decide , anyway hope you and Lily are doing ok (as ok as you can be) ,
Anyway life does go on and I'm starting to look at puppies , I haven't convinced the family yet but there is a litter with puppies available just before Christmas but I think that may be too soon for us but it shows that the pain does fade but the love remains , still saying goodnight to Joey in his little kennel (ashes container) , am I nuts ? probably but do I care , nope , I still love my Joey but puppies are on the horizon .
 
Tony, I'm excited for you that you're looking at puppies! Are they also golden retrievers or another breed? I want to see puppy photos if you do get one!

I know what you mean about it probably being too soon, though. I'm sure I'll get another dog someday too, but not for awhile. Once Lily goes, I'm going to give myself plenty of time, and then when I'm ready I'm probably going to foster to start with. If the fostering goes well then I'll adopt. I don't think I want a puppy - we got Lily when she was 2, she was a rescue, and that was a really good age. All her puppy craziness was over with and she came to us fully trained. So my tentative thought is to foster and then adopt a young adult dog like she was. That's way off in the distant future, though. For now I'm still just focused on making Lily happy & comfortable.

She seemed much more chipper yesterday evening, thankfully. Although we didn't get snow this morning which is disappointing. The radar kept showing snow, but we didn't actually see any snow falling. There was no precipitation at all, so it wasn't like the snow warmed and turned into rain. It just missed us altogether somehow. Hmph! Well, we're supposed to have continued cold weather for the next week at least, so maybe we'll get snow another day soon.
 
Hey Cat it would be another Golden , our first golden was a rescue , we think he was given as a Christmas present and then rapidly started growing , he was abandoned and a friend found he on the streets , we had 14 great years with him , the breeder I am in contact has a litter of puppies that will be ready to go to their homes a few weeks before Christmas , but I dont think my son is ready yet ,
Getting a puppy is a lot of work for the first few months but in fairness goldens are very fast to house train esp if you use a crate at first , good that Lily has some spark in her , enjoy every hour with her , hugs and rubs to Lily and hope you feel better soon yourself .
 
Glad to hear Lily is still being loved and spoiled! It is so easy to feel guilt when the time comes but you'll know in your heart you are doing the best for your Lily. I work at the hospital and when families aren't sure if they are making the "right" decision when taking their loved one off life support, I always tell them there is no wrong decision. So take one day at a time and keep spoiling your sweet Lily. She will be in my prayers and you too.
 
Probably most of you guys saw my post yesterday in Last One Wins, but if not - I got laid off at work yesterday. I think I'll be okay though. They're paying me through Nov 17th, and I will get a decent amount of severance pay, and can also collect unemployment, and can cobra my insurance. I figured this would be coming - work has been weird for months now with rumors of layoffs coming ever since our merger with another region. So I was bracing for this for months now, and I had a tentative plan in mind, which was that I'd accept the severance and use that money to cobra my insurance, and take a bit of a break before I dive back into the job market. Also, hubby is stepping up like a champ. I was looking at job listings yesterday, and I came across one that looked like he could do and the pay and benefits look really decent. He applied for it as soon as I told him about it. If he could get a job with benefits, then I could more permanently dial things back. I've always worked full-time and been the one who had the job with health insurance. Hubby currently works 2 part-time jobs, neither of which offer insurance. But if he got the job that he just applied for, he'd make enough money that I wouldn't necessarily have to work full-time, and I wouldn't need a job that offers insurance. I could work part-time or even not work at all. I mean, this is all a big "if". In the meantime, I'm looking at what full-time jobs with benefits are out there. But I am going to give myself a bit of time to rest first, too. I really like the idea of just taking a bit of time to care for myself and my health. I really haven't had the opportunity to do that since I first got sick 8 years ago. I've been working full-time that whole time (been at my job for nearly 15 years!).

So. It's been a bit of a crazy couple of days emotion-wise! But I haven't cried at all today yet. I'm just about to hop in the shower, and then I have to go pick up a refill of my LDN. I might take a walk today - it's pretty chilly out, the high temp today is like 41 degrees F and it's only in the mid-30s right now. But getting outside sounds invigorating. I'm feeling weirdly optimistic (as you guys probably know very well, I tend to lean more towards pessimistic most of the time) and I'm just going to roll with that. I'm going to clean the house a bit and cook a nice dinner for hubby too, and then we're going to see a movie (we had bought the tickets before I got laid off, otherwise we wouldn't be going to a movie - I know that spending frivolously right now is something that needs to stop!).
 
Hang on in there Cat ,it makes all the difference having good support from your family ,I don’t know how I would have got through the last few years without my wife and son (and Joey who kept me laughing),
when things go bad then you know who your real friends and family are ,
Great that you have great support from your hubby ,
I still cant believe that such a wealthy country like the US can spend so much on “foreign policy “ and have ordinary people having to struggle to get medical help .
 
So sorry Cat.I know it's been at the back of your mind for a while.Talk about kicking you when your down.But there's nothing to be done now except go forward.So chin up and shoulders back.A new chapter in your life has begun.Sending hugs.
 
Thanks guys. I'm feeling pretty optimistic about things still. I've been doing a lot around the house - dishes, laundry, cooking meals, etc. And I've also been getting out and having free adventures. After I went to the compounding pharmacy yesterday to pick up my LDN, I realized that the botanical garden was nearby. So I went there (the outside is free, the inside, which I didn't do, costs $2) and walked around outside. Surprisingly, a fair number of flowers were still flowering, and the autumn colors were also very pretty to see. It was quite cold out - in the 30s F and with a brisk wind - but I had a nice time and got a walk in.

Today hubby has the day off of work. He was supposed to go hang out with his friends today, but he cancelled with them when I got laid off so that he could spend the day with me instead. He took me to a rummage sale, where I bought a huge bag of yarn for $2. If I'm going to be home more, then I'm going to crochet more! :p And then we went to the zoo, which is free. The weather was almost identical to yesterday, cold and windy again, but that meant that the zoo was almost empty which was nice. A few of the animals were out and very active. Once again, I had a nice free adventure and got a walk in. Had a very nice time indeed. I'm going to continue to have little free or cheap adventures and take walks even when it's cold.

I'm also hoping to lift weights more now that I'm going to be home more often. Obviously I'm going to lose access to the little gym in the basement at work, but I'll still have my home gym and also the big paid membership gym (that's only $10 per month so I'll keep that membership). So, there should be more fitness posts from me in this thread, hopefully. Without the stress of my job, I'm hoping that my guts improve and that I'm therefore able to exercise on a more regular basis.
 
Oh, and I forgot to give a Lily update. She's still about the same. Yesterday evening she had to urinate frequently, and only a little bit seemed to come out each time. I was worried she might have a UTI. But today she seems fine in that regard, so I'm not sure what was going on with her bladder yesterday. I wonder if the tumor on her omentum is maybe pushing on the bladder and causing pressure? At any rate, that issue seems okay at the moment. She's currently resting and still has been eating well.
 
Aaaaand I have a cold. :p Because of course I do. Woke up with a sore throat and wonky sinuses. Staying in and not having a walk today, drinking tea and eating soup. The good news is, I don't actually have to go to work tomorrow. So I can actually take proper care of myself for more than one day!
 

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