Childless and I am sad

[fromthegut]

Hi Friends,

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I fer I will never haev children and if I do I will not be a good enough mother. I am now 46 and have not had children. I am really sad but feel I am too old and out of shape.
I went a long time not having chidlren due to others anxieties. I also didn
t have a good relationship so that didn't help. Now that I am healthier and am to recognize healthy relationships maybe God will send me step children.
I talked to my nurse practioner and she said it's not only dnagerous for the child but for me.

 

[Keona]

hi from the gut... have you considered adoption? There are a lot of children who need homes who dont have them. There is also a huge need for loving foster parents in Canada..

 

[Christie]

Hi, I was going to say the same as Keona, hope you are ok x

 

[Lydia]

Canada also has a great foster to adopt program, and its free unlike private domestic adoption. Using a sperm donor is also another option.

As far as I know if a woman is healthy, its not dangerous to be pregnant with crohns. There are even women here who have been flaring and went on to have healthy babies. I would get a more professional opinion on it.

There are also many older children who are going to age out of the foster system waiting to be adopted. Many will age out, before they find their forever family.

 

[fromthegut]

Hi Ladies.. thanks for your sharing and compassion. I am in a relation ship but well it's complicated. He is older and alreay had 5 children.. all grown adults.
Right now I am worried about birth control and not having an unexpectated pregnacy. I also need to take care of my health. My Crohns and bowels have changed since meeting him. A different kind of stress. ( good and bad) I am trying to get plenty of rest and use my relaxation CD. Also had anice day today sitting on the bench.. jsut talkign to God.
I was actually looking to talk to some ladies about other issues.. but think I may need a password to get into the OB/GYN section. I/\'m feeling liek a teenager but I also have adult issues. A friend of mine does driving for children's aid... which I thought was cool.. lots of options...

 

[AndiGirl]

I wish I could give you a hug. I am a Crohnie who married later ( I was 32), and had difficulties with getting and keeping my pregnancies. When I was 36, one of my relatives gave me a most precious gift. He and wife had too many children and wanted Scott and I to adopt their son that was about to be born. When I held that little guy when he was a day old, I fell in love. He is a very special child. I honestly thought he would have been my only. When Alex was 6 months old, I got terrible fatigue, and was constantly hungry and thirsty. I reluctantly went to the doctor thinking that I had become a diabetic on top of my other conditions. After being coaxed by my doctor, I took a blood pregnancy test. I found out that I was pregnant. I safely carried my little girl to term. I was 37 when I had her. One of my aunts had her last child when she was 47. I had lost two other little girls; one at 21 weeks, and the other at 17 weeks. I'm still amazed that I was able to have my little girl. I will say that even with my son, you really feel like a mother. Adopted children are born from your heart, not from your womb. God bless you in whatever you decide to do.

 

[xJillx]

Adopted children are born from your heart, not from your womb.

Well said - love this, Andi! I couldn't agree more. If I am unable to have my own, I would certainly adopt. I love my dog as though she was my own child (it's kind of pathetic actually how much I love and baby that dog), and she isn't even of my species!

 

[AndiGirl]

I couldn't have said it better than what you just said, Jill. I've actually gotten quietly upset when I've heard women say, "It's nice to adopt, but don't you wish you could have your own children?" That really upset me, because I don't think of Alex as anything but my son. I love my Beagle (Buster) dearly, and he is a dog. I figure, how much more can you love a human child? Some people are thoughtless, without trying to be. I was beyond blessed to be able to have my daughter.

 

[Lydia]

We are actually going to start the adoption process in May 2012 if I cant get pregnant by then. I figure if I get pregnant along the way that is ok too. I need another baby, I dont care if I give birth to it or someone else does.

 

[NicoleS]

I am 38 and single. I am hoping to get pregnant with donor sperm. I already picked my donor. I have to wait though as I just went off of methotrexate. I am now taking 5mg of folic acid everyday plus there is 1mg in the prenatal vitamin I take. (I am also taking an additional 1000mg of calcium) I was always told I should wait 3 months after methotrexate to get pg but now the GI says I should wait 4 months or longer before getting pregnant. I know the risks of spina bifida and other neuro tube defects so I will do as told. But at 38 every month counts.

Why do they say wait X number of months? Would it not make more sense to do routine monitoring of folate levels in the blood and once those levels are high enough and stable then give the green light. I would imagine that for some women it takes less than 3 months to bring back up the folate and some perhaps it takes more.

I see the fertility specialist in November and I guess I will ask him then. I should have gone off the methotrexate in August when I saw my GI but at that time I was still waiting for my body to get back to normal after 8 years on depoprovera. I knew I was going to see my GI in December and I thought it would be at least March or April until I got in to see the fertility doctor.

Oh yeah... I have been on Remicade for 7 years and have been in remission for about 6.5 years.

Nicole