Feeling depressed again

[CheerBear12]

Hi, it's been 9 months now and I still hate it and can't get used to it I was depressed before and after I had it done. Now I think I'm depressed again. I've suddenly just broke down into floods of tears. Help plz

 

[lexysmum]

try and get in contact with your GP, or call NHS helpline...
sorry I cant help any more than that but I hope you feel better soon... things will get better! hugs xx

 

[CheerBear12]

Thank you I hope it does and I will get in touch with my gp or stoma nurse see if they can help. Thanks again xx

 

[KazT17]

Do you think it could be because you are so worried about the next op? It is awful having to wait with the constant weighing up the pros and cons of it all. Are you back at work yet? It is best to stay busy. Bear in mind you may not need the surgery so you could be worrying for nothing.

Pamper yourself, buy some nice clothes. Get your hair or nails done. It is important to stay positive, I hope you begin to feel better soon hun xxx

 

[CheerBear12]

Hi Kaz I'm not sure some days I'm fine with it some days I'm not. Today must be a bad day... Yeah I'm back at work but hate there as well now it's all changed everything is getting too me I am worried about it and I do need it sadly its coz you have an increased risk of cancer down after so many yrs. There are good ideas to do thanks I'll do them. Hope your ok xxx
Dr Morgan I can't read your message but got an email saying you commented... It's really weird x

 

[LLPZ]

I think dealing with any kind of diagnosis, especially when you are aware that there is no known cure, is very difficult. I had to have 14 inches of my intestines taken out a little over a year ago and my colon resectioned in 2 places because fissures had grown through the wall of my intestines and attached themselves to my colon. I was terrified of having to have a colostomy bag. Thankfully, my surgeon was able to put m back together again. Those 14 days in the hospital were the worst time of my life. I cried and prayed a LOT. I got an infection in my PIK line and had to be packed in ice. I was all alone. It was a feeling of total desperation. But I made it through and have since found out that they missed a spot and I will have to have another section of my smaill intestine taken out. Every time I have a flair up, that terrifying feeling of being out of control washes over me again. Just take deep breaths and try to concentrate on the positives in your life and let go of the negatives. I know that's easier said than done sometimes. I take Celexa which helps even out my mood and anxiety level. Maybe you should ask your doctor about that. I have a huge bag of pills that I have to take every day just to stay out of the hospital but I try to remember that life is a gift and I am very thankful that at this point in life, there are medicatins that can help control my disease, even if it is depressing having to take them. I have so much living left to do at 43 years old and I will not let this disease control or dictate my life and the steps I take. I will live every moment to its fullest!! You'll be ok, sweetie. I hope your outlook brightens with each passing day. HUGS

 

[CheerBear12]

LLPZ, thanks for this I hope all goes well with you sounds like a right nightmare big hugs its been the hardest time of my life without a doubt I was healthy before all this started up and it came out of the blue but got really bad very quickly. You never know what is round the corner. We all know life is precious especially us what makes it harder is that I'm only 21 and have got my whole life ahead of me. Thinking that I have to live with my stoma forever is seriously mentally/ emotionally depressing. Thanks for this I know that I should live my life to the full xxx

 

[KazT17]

I am fine thanks. Well at least you have made the decision, so no more deliberating. I was in exactly the same position as you this time last year. As I have said before, the second op was so much less painful and easier than the first. You should be the same. It is liberating. You will be given a new lease of life! It will be November before you know it and your surgeon will get you booked in. My first date, but it was cancelled, was 22 dec last year. I was very nearly in hosp for Xmas. Lol, would have left the hubby with 4 kids to deal with xxx

 

[CheerBear12]

Kaz being in hospital for Xmas is not good bet your glad it was cancelled lol. I got out the December 2nd had been in there since October 29th isn't it supposed to be even more major than the last one? I don't want November to come quick lol how long did you wait on the waiting list? xx

 

[KazT17]

I think it is more major in that it is an intricate op for the surgeon, within the pelvic bow. But it is not as extensive as the colectomy. If you think about what you are getting removed it is all in the lower left hand side. The colectomy affects the whole of your middle section. Therefore the pain is not as extensive either. I wish I could get over to you just how much easier it was and ease your nerves xxx

 

[KazT17]

Sorry, forgot, I saw my surgeon in November too. I had 3 dates before it finally went ahead in April, exactly 4 months ago today. Back for a check up with my surgeon on Tuesday xxx

 

[CheerBear12]

I've had my large bowel removed so I haven't the left Part of my bowel(sigmoid I mean) coz it was full of ulcers and inflamed etc so they might even have less to remove of mine... I hope it isn't as bad as what I'm thinking awww good luck for Tuesday and let me know how it goes xx

 

[partyboy690]

Hi CheerBear, I know the feeling. Maybe not to the same extent but I was only recently diagnosed but it was in my mind for over a month that I might have it and some days I was like "Ahh I'll be fine, I'll be treated and everything will be grand" and other days I'm like "My social life is over and I'll be miserable and sick all the time" and now that I'm diagnosed, I'm relieved yet anxious and frightened. Its a hard feeling because you never know where its gonna go. But there are people out there who care about you and want you to get better they love you and it matters to them to see you getting happier so chin up and keep on chugging away.

 

[maria]

I know exactly how you feel...:ghug:

 

[CheerBear12]

At least I'm not on my own in this Im grateful the surgeons saved my life but still hate it. You just have to get on with it don't you. I hope my feelings change tho... How are you? xx

 

[Terriernut]

I think a lot of us have the depression close down over us from time to time. Let's face it, even if we didn't have stomas we are faced with an incurable and at times extremely debilitating illness. Usually in our youth or in the prime of our lives. This is not conductive to a happy go lucky attitude at all times is it?

The advice to get help is good. I myself am trying to find an antidepressant that doesn't give me the big 'D'. No luck so far. Also going to try cognitive behaviour therapy by book or online.

You certainly have reasons to be depressed and no need to feel bad about it. I think the prospect of further major surgery is also always on your mind, understandably! But you have courage and you can see that certainly you have support as well. Sometimes you just need a little help to get through a very rough patch. I hope that you can get through this patch and with help I'm sure that you can. :hug:

 

[CheerBear12]

Terriernut, thanks for this and it is on my mind all of the time I feel like I can't go through another major op but haven't got a choice again either. I wished it wasn't but it is. Put it this way if I didn't have my stoma I would be dead. I'm so grateful to be here i know i dont sound it but it probably doesn't help that it was an emergency I didn't have a choice. I can't do any of this on my own I need all the support I can get from everyone I just wish none of this had ever happened but we can't go bk on what has happened and have to make the best of what we've got. Hope your ok and thanks for this xx