Flatmates Rant.

[Chrismac]

Ok.. so right now, I'm mad. And I know you guys will understand and to be honest you're probably the only ones that will understand.

I share my flat with 3 other people and sharing a bathroom is hard sometimes, as you know.. because my poop can be pretty bad. We have 2 toilet cubicles in the bathroom, I live on a campus so it's built like a student kinda affair. Anyway.. my 3 flatmates, all mature staff here also.. share the bathroom and I really do try to go when no one else is in there or anything.. and I open the window and blah blah blah.

So for me it's really stressful because this is my home and I can't feel comfortable going to the loo. Ever. I worry every time I go, and I feel SO bad if I hear someone go in there straight after I leave. It bugs me. A lot.

Today I heard my 3 flatmates in the kitchen..... I was sitting in my room with the door open and one says something about using the bathroom before she leaves and I hear my name........ someone makes a comment about making sure I've not been in there or something. Then the voices go quieter and they say more.. then I hear "she has crohn's disease..." "crohn's disease? Oh....." then one of them leaves and goes to the bathroom.

I mean seriously!! If it's a problem bloody say something to ME!! Also... I've told them I have crohn's (although apparently one didn't know) and it's not as if I can help it and what else should I do? Poop outside in the woods so no one smells it?? That's the point of bathrooms. They smell. Get over it. But now I just feel like S*** because I don't want to go poop in MY OWN BATHROOM!!!!!!!

Thanks, flatmates. For making me feel even more crap about myself.

RAAAAAAAA. I want my boyfriend here.

 

[dreamintwilight]

Aww...I'm sorry your flatmates put you in that uncomfortable situation. I would feel the same way you are feeling.

Have you tried that "Just a Drop" stuff I hear so many people rave about? It's supposed to make the smell go away apparently.

Now it's funny I am making this suggestion because I'm not sure I would be able to do it myself as I can be quite shy, but if it makes you uncomfortable enough perhaps it would be beneficial bringing it up with your flatmates (since you do have to live with them). I am not sure what the best way to approach it would be. Obviously not in a confrontational way. Perhaps they are just ignorant and need some educating on what it is. It's becoming more obvious to me that telling someone you have Crohn's disease doesn't always make much of an impact on people. Sure, they have a name for it now, but they don't tend to do much research on it to understand.

I am playing devil's advocate here, so don't think I am empathizing with your flatmates over you here, but perhaps they are afraid to say anything that might embarass you (though I'm not so sure since they talked about you when you were right in the next room with the door open). They could have been more tactful here.

But if it's possible I would say it might be good to somehow talk about it since you have to continue living with these people and you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in your own home!

I'm sorry I am not more helpful, but I completely empathize with how you are feeling. BIG HUGS!!

 

[MapleLeafGirl]

Please try and not let it get to you (easier said than done) They just don't get it at all and the bottom line is - no one really can - except us! We have a washroom we share at work and I remember one of my staff members saying something to me like "I hold mine until I get home at night" and it really, really pissed me off. I snapped something like "unfortunately, I don't have that luxury". This was before I was diagnosed and once I was she felt really bad. Now I make a joke of it, when I'm having a bad day, I loudly announce to everyone - "sorry guys it's going to be a bad day, use the washroom at your own risk" (it's just girls so it's easier to say these things). I still have my embarrassing times, like last Saturday night, we had my in-laws over for dinner and I had to run to the washroom in the middle of dinner (the washroom is not far from where we were eating) and it was LOUD and SMELLY. My husband told me later no one noticed, but he had to be lying to make me feel better.

Don't ever feel bad about yourself! It's everyone else that should feel bad when they treat people the way your flatmates did.

 

[Chrismac]

Thanks guys.. Thing is they are really lovely people.. and I know they were probably just joking with each other and aren't seriously bothered by it but I'm just fragile at the moment.. with having a flare and my boyfriend being away until freakin' AUGUST and... yeah. Stuff. Haha.

You know how it is.. strong strong strong strong ICAN'TTAKETHISANYMORE strong strong strong.......

One of those moments.

Sorry.. I'm not normally like this but I know you guys will understand and I love that we have a special place on the forum for this stuff!!

I think they just don't understand.. I've spoken a little about it with them, but not in massive detail (who would want to hear that during table conversation?)

Marisa, I've actually ordered the Just a Drop but sent it to my mum's place. So she's bringing it over tomorrow (really... can't WAIT). It will preserve my sanity, I'm sure. Also, totally know what you mean about saying you have Crohn's. People just know it as 'something bad' and that's about it. So you get the sympathetic 'ooohhh....' and that's about it! Haha.. If they ask what exactly it is I'll go into more detail.

 

[dreamintwilight]

Glad things seem to have calmed down Sometimes you just NEED to vent (I find I need to quite often, haha!).

I hope the Just a Drop really works and avoids any further awkward moments and insensitive remarks. You're right...you're flatmates could have been joking and it's completely understandable you would feel sensitive about it.

 

[Chrismac]

Thanks.. yes, sometimes you do.

I now have Just a Drop and it's wonderful!! Oh praise the Lord for simple things like Just a Drop.

 

[kenny]

I guess being a guy it may be easier, but I'd just try and bring some levity to the situation. Maybe if you can joke just a bit with them about it everyone will feel less anxious about this??

 

[Chrismac]

Yeah.. maybe with some of them!

It's better now, it was one of my real "I can't do this anymore" frustration moments, you know? and the Just a Drop really does help. To be honest - I think I get frustrated sometimes when people complain about smells..... forgetting that we're those people who aren't bothered so much about poo because poo is our life. At least, that's how I feel sometimes.. especially when I worked in the hospital and dealt with it as a job AND at home.

Fun times in the Macfie household

 

[Rob]

I've heard burning a match straight after "you go" actually helps remove te smell too
havnt tried it yet tho

not sure where you could get it but maybe try finding some leflets/panflets on crohns and leave them out somewhere they will find them and possibly read
jus make it look like u left it there by accident
they may get more of an understanding od your problem if they read about it

 

[merrywidow]

have you sat them down and explain what crohns is like? have you explain that your bowels have a mind of its own?
its not as if you smell the loo out on purspose is it?

hugs

 

[Chrismac]

Matches! I always forget matches. That's a good plan.

They're good flatmates, in fact they are great, but it was just hearing them talking got me down. If I had music on then it would have been a different story!

Note to self - always play music if you have your room door open, then you won't hear conversations not meant for you

 

[ameslouise]

I agree with Kenny - bring some levity to the situation. I am not shy and if someone goes into the bathroom at work right after me, I say, "I stunk it up good in there for you!" or "I used the spray - now it smells like I **** a coconut!" Everyone at work knows I have Crohn's and if they secretly complain, I can't let it make me feel bad. I have no control over it.

It might be hard if it's not your natural personality to joke around about it, but it really may be much easier if you just put it out there instead of trying to keep it a secret or cover it up.

Good luck! - Amy

 

[I Love Lamp]

leave the door open and close the windows! Give them something to talk about!

 

[Silvermoon]

..."I used the spray - now it smells like I **** a coconut!"...

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

 

[gibby]

its never the smell with me it was always the noise! they need to invent a muffler for poop noises....my techniques all failed and just caused more random noises! i can never leave the cubicle til i know the bathroom is empty! eek! interested about this just a drop stuff, does it really work?

 

[Rebecca85]

Tee hee that sounds like me, sitting there waiting for the toilets to clear out so I can show my face. I haven't found a good way to deal with the noise, except if it's busy and there is an automatic hamd dryer you can try timinh things so the dryer covers the noise.

 

[Rob]

I dunno about that just one drop stuff but I found a productbin Australia that sounds similar it's avail in a spray and a plain liquid
with the liquid you drop some into the water or onto a warm surface it says and it removes smells not cover up like air sprays (so jo more smelling like u took a poop under a pine tree lol)
I bought the spray option an take it with me
as sometimes I need to spray b4 I go in a public bathroom, cos someone destroyed it b4 me lmao
I swear there's more crohnies out that we know of
anyway works great and it's alot more discrete than air sprays as u can barely tell I've used or sometimes done anything
unlike that tell tale pine or flower smell lol

ok my iPhone stuffed up an won't let me correct it I got name wrong deleted the name an can't get back to the top to re- do it lol
it's called - nilodor

 

[reidyjo81]

Totally understand how you feel, it is just awful feeling like that, and no matter how much people understand it can still make you feel like rubbish. I have tried everything, but this one drop thing sounds good?? Where can I get this from?

Hope your getting on better now Chrismac. If they don't understand that is not your problem !!!

I always try and make a joke out of these things with friends, but there are times i just can't and trying to hide it is just impossible. I flush the toilet a million times to hide the noise and hoping the smell will flush away ha doesn't work !!!!
Jo x