• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender & Straight Allies Support Group

and to you as well, NGNG! I hope everyone here has a wonderful day, no matter what it means to any of you, even if it's just another day!
 
hi! I introduced myself a while ago, saying I was asexual, but to be honest I think I was just unsure.

I spent a while working things out, I am now definatley sure what I am, and have come out as lesbian :)

im only 13 but I really want a date, just to make sure im 100% into girls. I was hoping I could find find some advise here on how to find a girlfriend?xx
 
Hey ki3 dating is tough. I'm in a long term relationship with a beautiful caring woman luckily so i can avoid the whole dating thing lol. I'm sorry but I can't even think of any good advice to give you. I started dating when I was around 16, it was a boy I went to school with. Since you're on the younger side it's hard to meet people besides your own classmates. As cliché as it is I met my gf in a bar 5 years ago. And it was agay bar at that. So there was really no trying to figure out iif she was gay Orr not :) my suggestion would probably be to not rush it. You have plenty of time to date. The older you get you'll open up ne circles of people as well that you can get to know.
 

Orchid

Banned
Ugh the LGBT meeting I'm going to today has a potluck. I hate having to explain CD to absolutely everyone who asks "why didn't you bring anything?" and "why aren't you eating anything? too good for us?".
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Ugh the LGBT meeting I'm going to today has a potluck. I hate having to explain CD to absolutely everyone who asks "why didn't you bring anything?" and "why aren't you eating anything? too good for us?".

You can just pass off your problems as "digestive issues" or "stomach problems". I have used those many times to convey the message without explaining the whole deal.

Why can't you bring something that is safe for you to eat to the potluck? That way you brought something and won't be questioned and you can nibble a bit. There may be something there for you to munch on or just put a little on your plate and nobody will realize.
 

Orchid

Banned
Yeah I always bring something for myself (my current favorite safe food a scrambled eggs and roast beef on potato bread sandwich) but there's always that...look. Went better than expected it least!
 
Hi all! Not LGBT but I am a straight ally :D Anyone ever needs someone to talk to, I am a good listener ;)

I am currently undiagnosed, I will be seeing another GI at the end of this month. Fingers crossed that she can help me. 10 months of this is enough :( Even though, if I have Crohn's I will battle it for the rest of my life, at least I would be able to take medication to help keep this monster under control
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
You're so sweet kero. I gotta say that it's my straight family and friends who were my real source of strength when I struggled with coming out and accepting myself. Straight allies are hugely important socially and politically so we love you guys!
 

Orchid

Banned
Oh god I might have HRT complications. My right leg is growing a collection of brown spots over and near veins, I've called my endo's office and waiting to hear back from them. I hope it isn't DVT or venous insufficiency. I'm so scared I want to cry. :(
 
Oh no! I hope that isn't the case and there is something else going on instead. Many :hugs: I will be keeping you in my thoughts!
 

vonfunk

Bourbon Bandito
Location
Toronto,
When I had DVT it was a general redness all over my legs as opposed to spots, it hurt to walk, and in general living was painful. The pain arrived long before the discolouration. Eventually they started swelling, I went back to the hospital when they started swelling which is when the ER paid attention to me.
 

Orchid

Banned
It also hurts to put weight on my right leg and now I'm worried if the symptoms I was attributing to Crohn's related arthritis are really a symptom of something wrong in my right leg.
 

vonfunk

Bourbon Bandito
Location
Toronto,
I had been living with it for a couple of weeks before they found the clots, I had chalked it up to an injury.
I'm not sure how you've been doing recently but being in a period of inflammation can increase the risk (also smoking, air or train travel etc etc.). Unless there is a genetic predisposition, it's the combination of factors that cause it to happen.
 

Orchid

Banned
I just hate being in that place where I wonder if I should go down to Urgent Care because it could turn out to be nothing or a doctor won't listen to me or a million other things. I hope the doctor gets back to me soon. :( Thanks for the info funk.
 

vonfunk

Bourbon Bandito
Location
Toronto,
For me the the pain built up until it was unbearable. If you can hold off a day or so until you can talk to your doctor I would suggest it, they will most likely have a better handle on how to tell if it an HRT complication or not.
There are 3 possible outcomes from an ER trip: 1) They find it, prescribe blood thinners, refer you to a thrombosis specialist & have you follow up with your doctor 2) They admit you 3) they do nothing and you see your doctor anyway.
The first time I went to the ER I was told it was a muscle injury and sent home with painkillers, I ended up going back a week later because the pain was still there and my feet had begun to swell, it was then they admitted me and began to deal with it.
 
Any word from your doctor? Usually blood clots in the legs present with discomfort in calf and the area is warm and red/pink in color. By any means do not rub your leg until you find out what is going on. Could be something hemorrhagic, where your blood vessels are bleeding out a bit ( not life threatening, but the only description I could come up with). Think of a very bad bruise but extremely close to skin and could be medication related~. Anyway, you are in my prayers and please let us know once you find out what is going on love! Don't be scared we are here with you, you are not alone!
Xo❤❤❤❤❤
Michele
 
@NGNG, how was that date you went on way back? Each time I have been meaning to ask and get reading something and never get a chance to ask you, so I am sorry for that:-(. I guess I just want to know you are doing ok and to let you know I am thinking of you and holding you close to my heart:). Xo
Michele
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
You are so sweet. That guy and I have become friends but didn't wind up hitting it off romantically. I have been dating a guy now who has been incredibly understanding and it feels nice to be a little more alive. Been dating a few weeks. Not sure where things will lead but it's nice to be back in the game :)
 

Orchid

Banned
Endo finally got back to me and told me to see my GP and/or get referred to a dermatologist. I still don't feel great about these spots but I hope they're just...bruises, I did sit on my legs awkwardly a lot on Saturday. I'm glad you're exploring a new relationship NGNG! :)
 
Yay!!!! NGNG. SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! That is just great:). ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤. I will keep sending you positive thoughts and prayers! I a proud of you, it takes courage to get back out there and you have it!!!! Very proud of you❤. Xo Michele

@ Orchid, keep us posted, I am very happy they are not alarmed of a blood clot, still worrisome to you, which I can understand!!! If pain starts or it just starts to "worsen". Get your butt to the local ER so you can get properly checked, you are to important not too!!! Ok:). Keep us posted, you are in my prayers❤.
Xoxo Michele
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
I'm so glad that it doesn't seem to be anything serious than bruises! Bruises to that extent, though, holy cow - when's the last time you had bloodwork done? I bruise pretty easily but never to the extent that I thought it was something more serious. Maybe keep it in mind to ask your doctor about at your next appointment.
 

Orchid

Banned
Yeah, I'm making an appointment with my GP but I don't know if anything will come of it. I've always been a very weak person with low pain tolerance, easy bruising, and very little physical strength.
 
Hey everyone,

I'm 26, gay female, still awaiting a diagnosis - seems likely it's Crohn's though. Had a pretty miserable year so far, full of hospital stays etc. Like the first message says, being a minority within a minority has also occurred to me. I am out, comfortable with my sexuality so that's not an issue but struggling with the possibility of having IBD/Crohn's. I also have Meniere's disease, which affects hearing/balance. Had a load of operations/drama with that, so the idea of another thing that sets me apart is bothering me a bit in truth!

Anyway, all seems pretty negative but I'm generally trying to maintain my sanity/humour. It's of come comfort to know there are others with similar worries, I don't feel (quite) so paranoid now!

Love to all,

Eve

x
 
Welcome Eve! This forum is fantastic, loads of advice and personal experiences here. Best this is that pretty much anything this disease can throw at you, someone has gone through it :)
 
Hey, thanks a lot for the reply. Yeah, one thing is I'm not getting the horrific bloody diarrhea - but I think that's the one thing stopping them making a concrete diagnosis. It's the exhaustion and stomach cramp/pulsating and nausea that's driving me so crazy! can be quite lonely too, so I'm pleased to have found these forums. Plus side of the internet for sure!
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Hey everyone,

I'm 26, gay female, still awaiting a diagnosis - seems likely it's Crohn's though. Had a pretty miserable year so far, full of hospital stays etc. Like the first message says, being a minority within a minority has also occurred to me. I am out, comfortable with my sexuality so that's not an issue but struggling with the possibility of having IBD/Crohn's. I also have Meniere's disease, which affects hearing/balance. Had a load of operations/drama with that, so the idea of another thing that sets me apart is bothering me a bit in truth!

Anyway, all seems pretty negative but I'm generally trying to maintain my sanity/humour. It's of come comfort to know there are others with similar worries, I don't feel (quite) so paranoid now!

Love to all,

Eve

x
Welcome to the forum Eve! I can join you on that super special club of people with the dizziness/balance issues too. It's so debilitating that sometimes I would accept the crohns pains if I could just feel ok to go out and not feel like collapsing. Of course no pains or complications would be preferred.

I have no clue what to do over my dizziness, been to an ENT and neurologist and was told they have no clue. I was recommend vestibular therapy but it sounds kind of hokey although apparently works for many.
 
Thanks guys and gals!

Noguts...welcome to the wonderful world of ENT problems! I've had a long history of ear infections, balance problems, dodgy hearing and tinnitus. I've had 6 operations in total, so I can definitely sympathise with the 'not knowing' and battling through the medics for a diagnosis. I've been lucky in that I've been to a consultant who specialises specifically in vestibular disorders such as Meniere's. I'm not entirely sure how the system works over in USA, but are you able to research/refer yourself to a similar specialist? Have you had a 'balance assessment', where they test your eye patterns and ear pressure? I'd definitely look into that. In terms of vestibular rehabilition, I went to a few sessions - they do little exercises such as walking in straight lines, looking at pens and turning your head. I think all in all, they can be quite useful exercises if you do them religiously. It's all about retraining/recalibrating your balance system. It's not all a load of rubbish, but I can't say it's done ALL that much for me personally. But that's probably because I have a long standing condition.

Hope this is helpful and you've stuck with my ramblings...don't wanna be all doom and gloom!
 

Orchid

Banned
Hiya Eve! It's always nice to see more of us here. :)

Today I got to start my 300mg of Spironolactone, after the radical personality change from going from 100mg to 200mg I'm wondering if I'm going to end up The Most Bubbly Woman Alive from this. Well that and I have to go get bloodwork done with my endo to make sure I'm not dying of hyperkalemia. Hate the electrolyte labs because they're fasting and I'm so empty headed I'll eat a cookie and suddenly remember "Oh...oh".
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Thanks Eve I have had a brain & neck MRI, balance testing, audio testing and the one where they induce vertigo through the ears. That test is awful! They said my balance issues aren't understood so now I'm being tossed back to the neurologist. It's really impacted my social life because nobody wants to go out feeling like they will collapse. Friends are mildly understanding but between my crohns excuses and this I think they are getting sick of me being unable to function normally and have a nice time going out.
 
Im stevi 20 year old female, don't define my sexuality however I am married to a man. I've never been in love with a female however I do not believe love is gender-specific. I think I am in love with the person not their gender.... Subscribed to show my support <3
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Welcome Stevi, so glad you can join us. I know that a lot of people prefer the term Pansexual because they fall In love with the person and their gender identity/expression is not important. I think that is fantastic and beautiful.
 
I think my wife is pansexual... she loves fancy cookware.

What do you mean "that's not what it means"? :eek2:

:devil:
 
Hi Ocean! Congrats on your new position as a moderator. :) I haven't been around much, but I do love that there is an lgbt sub forum here!
 
Congrats, theOcean.

I'm a newbie to the boards and a straight ally, I work for a HIV/AIDS charity and help support equal human rights for everyone across the world. I'm currently undiagnosed, but hoping that will change in the near future while waiting on my consultant to analyse the results of my MRI.

I'm happy to meet such an active group of people who are all experiencing Crohn's and other IBD related illness and offering such wonderful support to each other. I'm trying to learn and read all I can about this disease to prepare myself for anything that might happen in the future, we all know how uncertain that can be with CD!
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
Taking out my alcohol free, low fiber jello shots to celebrate lol! Not sure if we have any crohnies here from Ark but congrats.
Alcohol-free jello shots... isn't that just jello? ;) It is wonderful though that slowly but surely, more and more states are getting on board with gay marriage. My state is an embarassment though, we still have a gay marriage ban. I think every state that surrounds us has already allowed gay marriage and WI needs to get on board already! Fortunately we will get to (hopefully) vote out our corrupt governor this fall, so maybe things will change for the positive then.
 
Good luck with getting diagnosed! Hopefully you can get the results of your MRI soon.

And that's wonderful about your charity work. :) What kind of things do you do there?
Hi the ocean, I work in the Finance department and help disburse money to our linking organisations and country offices across the world. Our work mainly focuses on working with the key populations disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS, such as men who have sex with men, people who inject drugs and sex workers in particular.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Cat - sure we can call it regular jello but it sounded more exciting the way I framed it haha. Maybe I'll add some aloe & mulch? Do you think Wisconsin voters will vote out your governor? Even after all the corruption he got re-elected. I know Wisconsin is the cheese state but he reeks of jerk.

Gemling - that must be very rewarding to be part of a good cause like that. I didn't realize finance would determine funding though I always figured a foundation would distribute funds through a committee that oversees grant making.
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
NGNG, what happened with our WI governor was, shortly after he initially got elected, he screwed over the unions and it was revealed that he's basically in the pocket of the Koch brothers. A recall was attempted, and we got enough signatures to hold a recall election. Tons of people were against the governor but many people found the recall itself to be in poor taste so they voted for our lousy governor anyway to send a message that they don't like recalls (seriously), so he avoided being recalled just because of that. Our governor is up for re-election this fall, and since it'll be a regular election this time and not a recall, hopefully this time we can boot him out for good! Yeah, WI is the cheese state and our governor reeks of limberger for sure.

Aloe jello... isn't aloe already kind of gelatinous? :p
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
I sure hope you guys can boot him from office. I really hate the systematic effort to deny people their basic right to vote. It doesn't matter which party one supports they should be able to have their say.

Aloe jello is a bit much. I'll stick with aloe mulch cocktails. Anyways more reason to celebrate because a judge struck down Idaho's ban on gay marriage too. Well see what happens because all of these states are conservative and will appeal to the Supreme Court.
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
I saw in the news that 2 more states just had their bans struck down - Oregon and Pennsylvania I believe? I guess Wisconsin has some sort of a lawsuit challenging our gay marriage ban, so who knows, it's possible we could overturn our ban soon too! :)
 
I am so happy to hear all this good news stateside now of bans being struck down. I was living in CA at the time Prop 8 passed and it was so heartbreaking to know that people were choosing to take away others human rights like that.

Here's to more states over turning their bans.
 
Sorry I havnt really been following someone might have said this already, but a little bit ago gay marriage became legal in UK :)
 
Yay for more states overturning their bans!

My sexual orientation has never come up with my GI, and I was a combo of amused and annoyed when I found out they did a pregnancy test without asking/telling me when I was having other blood work done. I did say I looked pregnant from major bloating, but no one bothered to asked if I was participating in any activities which would lead to pregnancy. :p
 
None of my doctors or nurses know im gay, purely because it never comes up. I dont know how to tell them or if they really care, so I keep quiet.
 

Cat-a-Tonic

Super Moderator
Wine & CHEESE! Wisconsin federal judge rules for marriage equality http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/ap-newsalert-24018434

I think this is going to be a settled issue in 2 years when the Supreme Court ends this state by state approach.
Ahh, I just saw that in the local news and I was so excited and happy! Finally my state did something right! :D :emot-dance:

Edited to add: I found a live blog in the local news if anybody wants to see it.
http://www.channel3000.com/news/26370592
 
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nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Thanks Cat I'm gonna check that out, I'd like to see the happy first couples. Exciting! Next stop to get your governor out haha.
 

Orchid

Banned
Got back together with an old partner this last month! It's so great to be able to reapproach a relationship with the improved perspective and emotional control my HRT has given me. I feel like we have a much better chance of an enduring relationship now. She even thinks I'm cuter as a girl. :)
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Orchid it's very nice to see you back here. I'm so happy you got back with your ex and that she is happy and supportive of your transition. How did getting back take place? I wish I could get back with my ex but I don't know how.
 

Orchid

Banned
To be honest I think it mostly had to do with the complete personality transformation I've had since early April and less anything I consciously did. I think the whole I look much better as a girl thing helped a lot too. Turns out I have Klinefelters so I'm not technically trans anymore, I'm technically intersex which destroyed any insurance annoyances instantly.
 
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I am so glad Orchid to hear you are happily back with your ex and enjoying a good relationship and hopefully good health!
 
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nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Obama is issuing an executive action today prohibiting discrimination against LGBT employees. I think this is fantastic but as someone with chronic illness I think it's too easy for employers to find "other reasons" to not treat employees fairly or fire us. I wish there were real protections and not just on paper but I think if someone wants to fire you, this action or the ADA is mostly useless.
 
I agree with what you're saying. It's one of the things that has worried me about being a teacher, even though the laws in NJ are pretty good. It's also part of why I've decided to leave my job, although health is the primary reason.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
I'm sorry to hear that it influenced your decision to leave your job. Why would increased protections though make you feel more vulnerable to facing unfair treatment at work? It may not add much help but surely can't hurt?
 
I just meant that the protections that exist already haven't made me feel very secure. I'm glad for the new ones, and even if I'm not sure they'd be of much benefit to me, I know they're at least something. I've been concerned in spite of progress.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Update on guy I was going out with, decided to come out about crohns and suddenly he said the "chemistry" isn't there. Was there for the first few dates till crohns came in the picture. I can't be certain this is the reason but seems pretty darn likely. Stupid crohns lol.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
I thought after the first date he was thrown by my running to the bathroom and ending it quickly because I felt like passing out but he had no clue what was going on. We had gone on many dates since and I held out on disclosing crohns so it makes it more obvious that the illness is the issue. Ah, whatever I'm so not up for dating now anyway until I get my health in check. It's nice to pretend to be normal, dates, friends and such but my body doesn't like to comply with my mind.
 
Hello my name is Sabrina. I am 25 and was diagnosed with crohns disease in 2009. I am in a relationship with a man but I am bisexual. I look forward to getting to know you all. Check out my blog at: CROHNSTID.blogspot.com
 
Sorry to hear that ngng.
I haven't posted here in a while but have still been reading from time to time.
I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year and a half now, just got a call today to say we've got the house we applied for (we're both first time renters and this is the first place we've applied for). I'm really excited and nervous!
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Thanks! Now I found a guy who seems really cool but he works in the emergency room. I don't know if I should just end it there, being immunocompromised I don't know if it's worth embarking on that journey.
 

Orchid

Banned
Given how many nonstaters you've had lately I'd say it's worth the risk. Especially since he's probably held to high hygiene standards in his work anyway. I mean someone who works with illness everyday strikes me as possibly more open to someone with a chronic illness themselves because it's demystified.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
I think half my dating problems are me though because I can't let go and be myself and get to know people with my chronic health issues tapping my shoulder. It's an interesting point about him being more open to someone with illness, that could be true or could be the opposite. I dunno about his health though, he may have a good immune system but can still carry something and get me sick as a dog.
 

Orchid

Banned
Well you know what they say man: "Fake it till you make it.". Works with p much every kind of social interaction. You're not going to get better at by just thinking about how you can't. :p
 
I don't know if putting the health issues out there early on would helps at all. Maybe you've already done that. Mine came on after I was already in a relationship, but I've just had some personal details or bits of identity that I decided I wanted to have out in the open from the start. Health stuff is a bit different, though.
 
NGNG, I understand your concern. Even though I don't sick that often, I am still really careful about germs. (Maybe that is why I don't get sick much) I don't have any advice just sympathy. Listen to your heart.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Thanks, it stinks because it seems like all the nice guys on these dating sites work in healthcare. What's with gay men and healthcare? Seems to be an abundance in the profession.
 
Hi.
I'm James. 45. From Alberta, Canada. Was eventually diagnosed withCrohn's when i was 14 after i was given antacids and sent to a shrink. Finally found a doctor that actually believed me. Which is kind of funny since i've had two relatives die from it many years before ( my aunt and her uncle before her). Guess they should have paid more attention to my history. Have had 1 double resection. I'm also gay. Luckily since my resection my symptoms have decreased significantly, although never went away completly. But compared to what it was like before, i'm not complaining by a long shot. I just found this group, didn't know these existed. It's great.
 
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nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Welcome interlynx, so glad you found us! It's outrageous how many here are initially dismissed or given a wrong diagnosis for what doctors should see as clear signs of IBD. I'm glad your surgery helped you. Are you on any maintenance medications? How's your life in general given your dealing with this illness for many years now.
 
Hi all! I am a bi female living between Vancouver, BC and Calgary, Alberta. Happy to find this group and be part of the support network!

I am and always have been very comfortable with my own sexuality, but find others - from both sides of the fence - can be judgemental at times.
I guess it is understandable as alot of lesbians have been hurt by Bi women.

Re: judgmental homos or heteros (monosexualists) - I think that bisexuality is very difficult for monos to understand, and it can be as daunting as atheism can be to a faithful believer! I think everyone who has ever been hurt in love harbours a bit of animosity. Lucky lesbians though - IMHO they would probably complain a bit more if they had to deal with straight guys instead of bi girls! ;) Lol. I'm still more or less a little in love with everybody.
 

nogutsnoglory

Moderator
Hi all! I am a bi female living between Vancouver, BC and Calgary, Alberta. Happy to find this group and be part of the support network!

Re: judgmental homos or heteros (monosexualists) - I think that bisexuality is very difficult for monos to understand, and it can be as daunting as atheism can be to a faithful believer! I think everyone who has ever been hurt in love harbours a bit of animosity. Lucky lesbians though - IMHO they would probably complain a bit more if they had to deal with straight guys instead of bi girls! ;) Lol. I'm still more or less a little in love with everybody.
Nice to have you join us! Have you heard of the exciting QU Biologics Crohn's trial in Vancouver? I wish i was closer because it sounds so promising.

I totally can understand the frustration of bisexuality often being invisible and misunderstood. Bi people often get judged by gay and straight camps. We have a few bi people who are members here and I'm sure can weigh in. While I'm not bi I always feel like I have a greater understanding of others and it totally makes sense to me and I hate when people question ones identity.
 
I think it's confusing for most people, and it can be confusing for the bisexual person, too. Labelling makes me feel so much more comfortable than anything undetermined - the latter seems waffling or wishy-washy. It's taken me a long time to adjust those negative words into a more open-minded concept. It has taken me some work to get out of the middle class, judeo-christian mind-set that I was (many of us in North America have been) raised on. So much tougher to be open-minded and without judgment. To forge your own path and be true to what you know you must, despite advice and pressure to do otherwise. Tradition is a double-edged sword. So rich and valuable, but with so many strings and trappings of old ideas.

I'm so happy to see a shift to a more enlightened attitude. At the beginning of this thread, someone mentioned something that boggled my mind and made me embarrassed of my own ignorance. It was regarding before Ireland legalized homosexuality. I am also not a fan of organized religion, and I work hard to keep it away from my life, so I forget how hurtful it has been to people's personal freedom in other countries.

I live on the gay-est street in Canada in Vancouver, and I forget how much more freedom we have there. I am accustomed to seeing all shapes and sizes, genders and costumes of all sorts throughout the year, or on any given day. In amongst the little old ladies with shopping carts and yuppies jogging, the teenage girls walking barefoot up the street in bikinis from the beach... it's a different world, and I take it for granted.

Reading people's stories here gives me pause for thought. I talk a lot. Sometimes it's good to just listen. Thank-you for making me feel so welcome!
 
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