Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender & Straight Allies Support Group

Crohn's Disease Forum

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nogutsnoglory

nogutsnoglory

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Welcome to the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender (GLBT) & Straight Allies Support Group. It's hard enough having Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis or another form of IBD and even harder when you are a minority within a minority group. Whether you are single or partnered, queer or straight, please know you are welcome here!

Topics in the group can range from but are not limited to discussion on dating/relationships, discrimination/homophobia, health disparities, sexuality, or just simply to be social and chat amongst friends.

Please join us and introduce yourself and/or bring up a topic for discussion.
 
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Hello everyone!

I suppose I will begin by introducing myself! My name is Victoria, and I'm 27. I love art and am developing ideas for a comic. Video games, especially Pokemon, are another area of interest. Um, well. Can't really think of much else to say right now! Haha, I'm no good at these sorts of things.

As far as my experience with Crohn's, I was diagnosed while in college over five years ago. Right now I am on Pentasa; but my new specialist will be evaluating it's effectiveness for me soon.
 
Hi everybody, my name is Seán and I am a gay guy from Ireland.
I was out before it was legal here. On February 7th 2011, I became the first person to say "I do" under Ireland's Civil Partnership Legislation. This legislation provided the first recognition for same-sex unions under Irish law. With a twist of irony, the media, which had been hyping it all during the month of March [offering money for the scoop etc.] managed to miss it. As there was the usual 3 months notice period under Irish law, they were not expecting anything to happen until April. However, my partner and I, never known for being conventional, had sought and recieved a court exemption on medical grounds. We had a great day, not just on the day, but also as the media announced they were covering the first ceremony! Then they announced they were covering the first "public" ceremony. Then having realised that all civil partnerships have to be done in public [and our's was], they announced they were covering the first ceremony not requiring an exemption. It really did cause problems for those writing headlines. The real irony is that my partner worked in Irish television for years, and the story was right under their noses! If only they asked :ybiggrin:.


As for my Crohn's, I also have form there. I've had it for nearly 30years, but as with the media above, the doctors only noticed it 10 years ago. I am on Imuran, and will probably have surgery shortly.

That's it for now.
Seán
 
Hi, I'm jason. I have had my Crohn's diagnosis for three years.probably had crohns for wqw 11 years. Had a partial colectomy in jan 2012. On Rmicade and in remission. Oh yeah, I'm gay too. In the process of adopting two babies with my partner. Life is good.
 
Thanks to everyone who has joined in to introduce themselves or start conversation. If you haven't already, don't be shy and say hi. That rhymes!

I am a gay male from NY living with aggressive Crohn's for the past couple of years. It has taken a toll on me both physically and emotionally. I haven't been able to go out much but would like to find a boyfriend and ultimately a partner to start a family with. I hope the guys I meet going forward will be open to being with someone who has a chronic disease.

VictoriaSage: Have you connected with the LGBT center in Rochester. I think it's so cool you have an LGBT or gay friendly gastroenterologist up by you. I only found one in NY but he didn't take insurance. It's a shame since he got good reviews. I am sure there are more but I do not know of them.

SMSIRL: You are like a gay IBD mini-celebrity. Congratulations on your wedding and hopefully Ireland enacts marriage equality soon. I think they are actively considering it as they are in other parts of Europe and the world. Do you have any pictures or news links you can send us?

Jasoncode: So happy to hear remicade put you into remission. That is exciting about you and your partner adopting. Where are you from? I know adoption can be a real pain, hope it won't cost you an arm and a leg.

B.Prester:You take the cake for being a super minority! That's great to hear that you will use your experience to provide services with an LGBT focus. Do you wish to be part of an organization, institution or just private practice with advertising the fact that LGBT is a speciality?
 
Hi everyone I am a Bi woman and I am very happily married to a wonderful man.

I am and always have been very comfortable with my own sexuality, but find others - from both sides of the fence - can be judgemental at times.
I guess it is understandable as alot of lesbians have been hurt by Bi women.

As I/we haven't had any female partners in the last couple of years, my Crohns hasn't been an issue in that way yet. But I do worry about it being an issue in the future if I became intimate with someone new.:kiss:


In the meantime, I just wanted to send my support to everyone here.
 
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Hi all!

I am South African (Cape Town) and have been living with diagnosed Crohn's for about 2.5 years now, and symptoms possibly for about 4, or so, years.

I am gay, and have not "come out" to any specialist/GP, as the issue has never arisen for me. I guess I am excited to find a group who shares similar interests whilst struggling with the disease.

Not quite sure what to say at the moment. I am in my final year of studies, which involves quite a hectic workload (busy from 7am-6pm), so juggling symptoms and studies is probably a priority in my life at the moment. However, I have been lucky not to have had bad symptoms for a while now. Just the occassional bad week or so.

In what instances would people advise coming out to your local GP, other than obvious sexually-related issues? Do you folk feel more comfortable around one who knows of your sexual identity? It has crossed my mind before, but I have never felt the need (or been pressed in the situation) to come out, or bring up my sexuality.
 
Hi folks! I've had crohn's disease since the age of 11, I'm 59 yo. I've had 2 resections. Major drugs now on are Humira and azathioprine. And oh yes I'm gay and I'm single. Came out late at 38 yo (no, never dated women).
 
Plaid: have you done any testing? Why do they say they can't determine?

Beach bum: bi people are often misunderstood and thought of as selfish. I have many bi friends who can fall in love with someone of either gender and be totally monogamous with that person. Even in the gay community there is significant bi phobia.

Mikesa: I came out to one doctor who immediately wanted to run an HIV test and told me to use condoms. She also said she wanted to check for hepatitis due to my "lifestyle". I felt offended because a lifestyle implies choice and I'm a monogamous guy and not some party animal. I guess she was just doing her job.

Been around: wow that's a long time with IBD. Welcome!
 
I am really skinny now and look somewhat malnourished but its my sincere goal to get back into the dating world in a few weeks. I started getting an "I can't do it" mentality due to this disease but I'm starting to feel empowered and won't let Crohn's stand in the way if my life. I want to do everything in my power to gain weight, fight the inflammation and get back out there. I am so sick of being single, I want someone to love and be with through the good and the bad.
 
I bounced from GI to GI for a while going from ped GI to adult GI to being away at college to transferring to a different college, graduating, and then moving! Not all the GIs agreed with each other, and some where just outright crappy doctors.

The most helpful of the GI's told me I had esophagitis, gastritis, contact bleeding in the small intestine, ileitis, and then put me on pentasa and omeprazole and sent me on my merry way. She said I had inflammatory bowel disease but did not specify crohn's vs colitis. Somewhere in there I was on prednisone for a bit, and it helped temporarily. No signs of h pylori or something infectious.

The pentasa helped for a while but then I started having bleeding again, and a diff GI stopped all my meds and did a colonoscopy but no endoscopy (didn't have time before I went back to college). Colonoscopy just showed internal hemoroids, which hadn't been there before.

I was diagnosed with celiac disease first, then multiple food allergies, and then IBD after I continued to be sick. I am also chronically b12 and d deficient and get mouth ulcers and joint pain.

From what research I've done on my own, it seems like my stuff is more consistent with crohn's than colitis.

I saw yet another GI after graduating who was a pretty big jerk. He didn't do anything particularly helpful, and my primary care hadn't wanted me to go there in the first place (but left out the part about him being a giant jerk!).

I need a new GI. I'm pretty much managing things with the SCD and Imodium. My primary care handles my b12 injections and d supplements.


& autocorrect...
 
Ulcerative Colitis would not effect the small intestine but that is a very common place for Crohn's disease. It sounds like you may benefit from having another GI evaluate you. Pentasa likely won't do anything beyond your colon so if the problem is in the small intestine you may want to consider other meds.
 
Hi there. I am a straight woman, but an ally. My diagnosis story is here. It includes being yelled at by multiple doctors, accused of seeking drugs, and being told I had herpes (what I had were Crohn's-related ulcers).

I've been on Remicade for 9 years now and just got off steroids in the summer, after 10.5 years. Woohoo!
 
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nogutsnoglory: Sadly I have not been able to get to the center yet, as rides have just not worked out. I may be getting a good job soon though where I will be able to afford a car and then go at any time I choose. Also, I'm stuck with a certain hospital as well because of insurance. Lately Crohn's has been really expensive for me and basically wiped out my bank account. Luckily my room mates are understanding and very supportive!
 
NoGutsNoGlory, given how the story unfolded, I am the least celeb celeb. The first to get the story, the Irish Examiner, were only two weeks late but had no details or pics. Actually, apart from the family snap album there aren't any pics. The references that most offended me came from the UK Pink press, when they had the title "Ireland’s first civil partnerships have taken place early and in secret". Ours was in public - In the main Registration Office in Dublin city, and, given that we were both out when it was illegal, we were more than happy if the media came along on the day. All they had to do was ask the registration offices to keep them posted. When the story actually broke, the health issues that made us seek the exemption, intervened and we were happy to watch from the side. The two lads who provided the media with the media shots, were two really nice guys who weren't quite as unhealthy specimens as we were, and made the ideal couple for the day. So, we were happy that the coverage was good on that day. There is one journalist who did her homework, and aproached us after the media ceremony, and she will get to do the story - but not now, as my partner is not up to dealing with a media circus that will follow. I'll keep you posted - then I can be the poster "boy" [not quite boy - but I remember those days] for gay civil partner chronies in Ireland.

Yes, they are talking about civil marriage too, but while there probably would be a majority in the Dáil, the senior partners in the current government, and the current Taoiseach(prime minister) , are a rather conservative group - they tend to be too focused on how we are perceived abroad, rather than how we perceive ourselves. If they do get around to it, we'll try repeat our record as firsts, but this time we will kick the media until they notice. The government as a whole may pass something before the next elections, given that they are starting to slump in the polls and need a boost. The public, and particularlly the young, tend to be very in favour of gay rights. At the last debate on civil partnership there were only 4 in the seanad that were activily trying to block its passage. The tried to talk it out of time, but they failed because the cathoirlaigh/chair(s) wouldn't let them.
 
plaidknitter do you take any vit.D supplements - I used to have alot of problems with mouth ulcers and sores at the mouth corners before I started taking Dlux 1000 Vitamin D Spray everyday. The spray seems much better than a pill as it is immediately absorbed.
 
Hi everyone!! Firstly a quick thanks to nohutsnoglory for the invite :)

My name is JJ, I am a 30 year old woman who has been with my female partner for almost five years (ive always been gay) and could myself as VERY lucky...

A quick rundown of my story looks something like this...

I met my partner when I was 25, two weeks later I found a breast lump, a month later had a biopsy then started getting infection after infection in the breast.... I was consequently fired from my job for taking too much time off.

I moved in with my partner not long after that (she should have ran away then... But she didn't...) I had the precancerous breast lump removed two years later at 27, and had been too sick with infections, D at least twice to three times everyday, joint pain, nausea, cramps, and sciatica, to work... Also my platelets were up and I was anemic... So I took on part time University study from home....

After a barage of 'normal' tests My GP (primary care giver?) sent me to see a GI who conducted a colonoscopy, endoscopy, barium X-ray, MRI -- all of which showed nothing... As a last resort she organized a 'pill cam' and found ulcers in my terminal ileum and some inflammation in my colon... dX 'mild' crohns

My partner could have run then too.... But nope...

My crohns got steadily worse until it reached its peak of D 25 times a day, nausea, anemia, cramps, fatty liver, severe joint pain etc... I was on copious amounts of Salofalk (the equivalent to pentasa?) More than twice the maximum dose (my GI said that it wouldnt hurt... Wrong...)

So here we were two years into our relationship... I'd had a breast lump removed and a DX of a chronic disease... Our relationship was also being tested by her parents who disapprove of her being gay, let alone in a relationship with a lazy bum who 'won't' work.... She should have ran then....

So suddenly I was starting to have SEVERE flank pain followed by copious amount of blood in the urine and was being rushed to hospital every couple of weeks only to be sent home 5-7 days later with no diagnosis... I had everyone stumped.... My poor partner would work a 14 hour day, 6 days a week, come home and feed our animals, come to the hospital and sit by my bed for 3-4 hours, bring me food (as I am on a dairy free gluten free diet...) take my washing home and do it all over again the next day (yup, she's an angel)

It took them a further 18 months to work out that I had a rare kidney disease called renal papillary necrosis (where part of my kidney was dying, shedding and then getting stuck in my ureter) I had a stent fitted but it was removed 3 weeks later due to a major infection.... So now there is nothing they can do for me besides pain meds (which I try not to take as they make me severely depressed)

A week after I got out of hospital in April 2011 my partner proposed... we have been engaged ever since... (its still ot legal in australia) So as I said... I count myself as VERY lucky, my partner has seen me at my absolute worst... And still wants to marry me... The woman needs a medal I swear!

We are currently discussing children which of course is complicated due to my many illnesses... And she works full time, so we are looking at other opinions such as adopting (difficult in Australia) or fostering... I am flaring again at the moment so I'm thinking it will go in hold again for a little while...

I'm sorry for the ridiculously looooonnngggg story, but I just wanted to say that there ARE good people in this world who will accept you and love you no matter what... I pray that those of you looking for love are as lucky as I have been!

Looking forward to talking to you all in the forum!

JJ xxx
 
Sickofcrohns: I can't believe a doctor can't differentiate and couldn't diagnose your ulcer. Have you switched to IBD knowledgeable docs?

Victoria: insurance makes no money on me lol! God forbid I wasn't covered the costs would be in the tens of thousands per year.

SMSIRL: what's interesting is Ireland is a fairly religious country but they can mostly separate civil marriage from religious marriage. Here in the states the conservatives can't comprehend the difference.

B.prester: that's great, when not sick I do volunteer work for the LGBT community. I hope to get back to it because giving back is what I truly love.

Beach bum: I never saw a vit D spray. Is it D3? That is the best form of vit d.

JJ: welcome! I think it's one thing if someone starts dating someone and finds out they are sick but if you love the person and are with them and find out but leave you are a jerk. I understand its hard on our partners but as the wedding vows say in sickness and in health.
 
It looks like a great product but they only deliver in Europe. Ill try to find a similar product here if one exists.
 
That d spray looks pretty awesome. I haven't seen something like that in the US before, but I can't say I ever thought to look!

The d supplement I take is a once weekly high dose pill.


& autocorrect...
 
I was just thinking the only plus from losing so much weight from CD is that I get to wear skinny jeans. I thought this was apropos for the gay group LOL!

I definitely need to put on weight to feel healthy but don't mind being skinny, just don't want to be this skinny.
 
Haha, that's a good way to look on the bright side! I love skinny jeans, but I've been so bloated and sore that I only want to wear sweats. It is not a good look. ;)


& autocorrect...
 
Hi Kayla welcome and thanks for your support! What is polycystic ovary syndrome? Saw that on your profile. It doesn't sound pleasant.
 
Snowhite, I haven't been in that situation, but it is wonderful that your girlfriend is so supportive!

Would your family respond at all to a direct sit down sometime before your surgery where you could say some variation on, "I know that my relationship with GF makes you uncomfortable, but she is an important part of my support network, and I would appreciate if you could put aside your objections for the time being so I can focus on healing." I know some people respond well to direct requests but others really don't...

I hope that your surgery goes well and that your family is respectful so that you don't have to worry about it.
 
Snowhite, I haven't been in that situation, but it is wonderful that your girlfriend is so supportive!

Would your family respond at all to a direct sit down sometime before your surgery where you could say some variation on, "I know that my relationship with GF makes you uncomfortable, but she is an important part of my support network, and I would appreciate if you could put aside your objections for the time being so I can focus on healing." I know some people respond well to direct requests but others really don't...

I hope that your surgery goes well and that your family is respectful so that you don't have to worry about it.
 
I've actually said this too lol. I couldn't agree more with you on everything you said.

nogutsnoglory said:
I was just thinking the only plus from losing so much weight from CD is that I get to wear skinny jeans. I thought this was apropos for the gay group LOL!

I definitely need to put on weight to feel healthy but don't mind being skinny, just don't want to be this skinny.
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nogutsnoglory said:
Hi Kayla welcome and thanks for your support! What is polycystic ovary syndrome? Saw that on your profile. It doesn't sound pleasant.
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Hi nogutsnoglory! Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones.. so basically what I've learned is that there is a build up of cysts on my ovaries that are releasing testosterone
there are several symptoms, weight gain, thinning hair on head, increased acne and one of the major ones is infertility. The effects are similar to, but not as strong as a trans man injecting himself with testosterone (which I learned in a psych class for my undergraduate degree!) I hope that answers some questions!
 
KaylaRose said:
Hi nogutsnoglory! Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones.. so basically what I've learned is that there is a build up of cysts on my ovaries that are releasing testosterone
there are several symptoms, weight gain, thinning hair on head, increased acne and one of the major ones is infertility. The effects are similar to, but not as strong as a trans man injecting himself with testosterone (which I learned in a psych class for my undergraduate degree!) I hope that answers some questions!
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Is that consisted an intersex condition? Is there a way to suppress the testosterone by taking estrogen? I'm sorry you have to go through that!
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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snowhite_dahlia, I'm happy to hear about your relationship with your girlfriend but feel terrible about the awkwardness with your family and your upcoming surgery. I think plaidknitter is spot on that you should sit your family down before surgery and put it all out on the table. I think you should say how important and helpful she is to you and that she will be there while you recuperate and that you don't want to have to worry about the potential tension. The conversation may be really helpful for them as well as a way to discuss the issue. Have they ever said anything against her or do you just get the feeling they don't approve? How does your girlfriend feel about your family?
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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snowhite_dahlia, I'm happy to hear about your relationship with your girlfriend but feel terrible about the awkwardness with your family and your upcoming surgery. I think plaidknitter is spot on that you should sit your family down before surgery and put it all out on the table. I think you should say how important and helpful she is to you and that she will be there while you recuperate and that you don't want to have to worry about the potential tension. The conversation may be really helpful for them as well as a way to discuss the issue. Have they ever said anything against her or do you just get the feeling they don't approve? How does your girlfriend feel about your family?
 
Snowhite_dahlia sorry you have to put up with that during surgery. I also agree with plaidknitter, have a sit down with your family. I've been not feeling well for the last 2 years and wouldn't know where I'd be with out my girlfriend and her family. All of my family live in a different province so I don't see them often. My girlfriends family really accepted her and me with open arms and were great during my surgery. Hope you can get it all straightened away before your surgery.
 
Snowhite_dahlia sorry you have to put up with that during surgery. I also agree with plaidknitter, have a sit down with your family. I've been not feeling well for the last 2 years and wouldn't know where I'd be with out my girlfriend and her family. All of my family live in a different province so I don't see them often. My girlfriends family really accepted her and me with open arms and were great during my surgery. Hope you can get it all straightened away before your surgery.
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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Hi!!!! First. Congrats on your wedding!!! That is so cool. Ive heard Crohn's/flare ups can be stress related. And...your wedding should be as stressfree as possible! It is about you and your girlfriend. A celebration of two lives...coming together. Loving one and other - through thick and thin.

And, as Crohn's can be related to stress..so you know what - i'd do my best to focus on healing and the love that your wedding celebrates :) You don't need to be a peace-keeper - though i understand why you feel you have to. You shouldn't. They should realize how amazing it is that they have you in your life and that your wedding is coming up and that you've found someone as wonderful as your girlfriend. They should be keeping the peace. Not you. Its not you with the problem. They should be celebrating you and making sure you have a stress-free wedding.

Let them know that your girlfriend/soon to be wife will stand by you, loves you and will be by your side through difficult times. She cares and loves you. Just as them.
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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Hi!!!! First. Congrats on your wedding!!! That is so cool. Ive heard Crohn's/flare ups can be stress related. And...your wedding should be as stressfree as possible! It is about you and your girlfriend. A celebration of two lives...coming together. Loving one and other - through thick and thin.

And, as Crohn's can be related to stress..so you know what - i'd do my best to focus on healing and the love that your wedding celebrates :) You don't need to be a peace-keeper - though i understand why you feel you have to. You shouldn't. They should realize how amazing it is that they have you in your life and that your wedding is coming up and that you've found someone as wonderful as your girlfriend. They should be keeping the peace. Not you. Its not you with the problem. They should be celebrating you and making sure you have a stress-free wedding.

Let them know that your girlfriend/soon to be wife will stand by you, loves you and will be by your side through difficult times. She cares and loves you. Just as them.
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Is that consisted an intersex condition? Is there a way to suppress the testosterone by taking estrogen? I'm sorry you have to go through that!
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Good question! I never thought to ask, I can start taking pills to counteract the testosterone, but I have decided to hold off until my husband and i are ready to have kids, the rest of the symptoms are manageable in my books. Seems I have some research to do!
 
KaylaRose, in doing some quick googling it appears a lot of people have asked the question I asked but it seems most argue it's not an intersex condition because your chromosomes and genitalia are female. I think in order to be classified as intersex there needs to an atypical combination. You certainly though share similar health issues as intersex and trans men face. I can understand your desire to wait till after pregnancy. I wasn't aware that estrogen therapy would be bad for a woman and be dangerous for the child? Is it that the child gets exposed to the hormones? Have you seen a doctor over whether you can get pregnant due to the testosterone production?
 
nogutsnoglory said:
KaylaRose, in doing some quick googling it appears a lot of people have asked the question I asked but it seems most argue it's not an intersex condition because your chromosomes and genitalia are female. I think in order to be classified as intersex there needs to an atypical combination. You certainly though share similar health issues as intersex and trans men face. I can understand your desire to wait till after pregnancy. I wasn't aware that estrogen therapy would be bad for a woman and be dangerous for the child? Is it that the child gets exposed to the hormones? Have you seen a doctor over whether you can get pregnant due to the testosterone production?
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It's not that it would be dangerous for the child or anything that I am aware of, simply if I were to take the estrogen therapy there's a much better chance that I will get pregnant, and currently my husband and I aren't in a financially stable enough position for children. I am currently seeing a doctor, and pregnancy is possible with the testosterone production however it is unlikely. So when we're ready to try for kids, I can start taking some fertility medication. After we're done with kids, doctors usually recommend going on the birth control pill as a form of estrogen therapy.
 
Oh ok misunderstood and thought that you wanted kids now and didn't understand why you wouldn't start the treatment.
 
Just wanted to say...a massive thank you to everyone here for all they're kind comments on this forum and for NGNG for setting this little support group up :)
 
Martin it's so great to have you and have this support group. What are you doing up still? Isn't it like super late in the UK?
 
Pleasure! - Just wanted to say thank you (and thanks for having me!). Tah for your kind words. Yeah, sometimes i cant sleep. A lot running through my head.
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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snowhite_dahlia, I know a few of us responded to your post but its hard to follow here since other posts followed yours. I wanted to know if you ever talked to your parents and when your surgery is scheduled for?
 
snowhite_dahlia said:
Yay, really glad I found this support group - got a question that I think the folks here can probably give input on/sympathize with. :)

Quick intro about me - was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2005, when I was 19. Had a reeeally rough time trying everything to get my symptoms under control until I switched docs and was put on Remicade. What a life-saver! I haven't had many problems since (did need to switch to Humira after Remicade started losing efficacy and had a couple obstructions) - up until now that is. I'm scheduled for surgery next week, but I'm feeling really hopeful about getting back to remission. :)

I'm also a pansexual girl - I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and a half (though we've been friends for several years) and I cannot even explain how wonderful and supportive she is. With this recent battle of symptoms, she has been there every step - driving me to the ER at 3am, taking time off work to come with me to appointments, calming me down after they tried to give me an NG tube at my CT enterography... I feel so blessed, especially after my last partner was such a jerk to me when I was ill (he would tell me he didn't have time to "just come sit around" in the hospital because he was so busy working on his doctorate. ._.)

But, to my question for you all: I finally came out to my family last year when I realized that things were becoming serious with my girlfriend (I didn't like feeling like I was lying about her.) Considering we're all Catholic (well, clearly I am the more liberal Catholic!), my family took it pretty well though they made it clear that they didn't really like it (as in, I'm not particularly hopeful that they will attend my wedding.) They're civil to my girlfriend, but with my surgery coming up I've sensed some tension from my family about the whole lot of us (me, my girlfriend, and my family) being together.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Any advice? I know there will be no problems from my girlfriend because she is so sweet and lovely, but sometimes my family can be... difficult. I just don't want to be playing peace-keeper while I should be focusing on healing. :/

Anyway! So glad to be here and looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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snowhite_dahlia, I know a few of us responded to your post but its hard to follow here since other posts followed yours. I wanted to know if you ever talked to your parents and when your surgery is scheduled for?
 
I am new to this forum in general and I am glad a support group like this exists. I have Crohn's Disease and I am bisexual. I was diagnosed on New Year's Eve 2010. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you here.
 
Really glad to see this group--I had thought about suggesting or trying to start something like it, but never got around to it, and finally remembered today seeing in the newsletter or something that this group exists!

I "diagnosed" myself as gay at 17, after initially mis-diagnosing myself as bi at 15. I had signs of it going back to age 2, though ;) I have a pansexual boyfriend...we've been together for close to a year and a half now. He has been a big support to me, especially when I was in the hospital for 19 days this summer.

I turned 28 in June, and that's roughly when my flare started. Went to the hospital in July, and eventually got the diagnosis of Crohn's colitis. I'm on Humira and Asacol, and that seems to be keeping things pretty well under control, but I have aches, fatigue, bits of itchiness, and a new allergy to most deodorants.

My biggest frustration is not really being interested in sex. I still have a libido, and I enjoy physical closeness with my boyfriend, but I just don't really want to have sex anymore. Sortof. I want to, but I'm apprehensive about some things, and I wind up feeling kindof conflicted...wanting to, but simultaneously not wanting to.

VictoriaSage: I was in Rochester a couple of weeks ago at an LGBTQ event, and I have a couple of gay friends there. Also, glad to see another gamer! :)
 
WadeszWorld said:
I am new to this forum in general and I am glad a support group like this exists. I have Crohn's Disease and I am bisexual. I was diagnosed on New Year's Eve 2010. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you here.
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Welcome to the forum and our support group! Feel free to also stop by the Your Story section to introduce yourself to the forum at large too.

Diagnosed on New Year's? Oh man! We're you in the hospital?
 
Elektrikhd said:
Really glad to see this group--I had thought about suggesting or trying to start something like it, but never got around to it, and finally remembered today seeing in the newsletter or something that this group exists!

I "diagnosed" myself as gay at 17, after initially mis-diagnosing myself as bi at 15. I had signs of it going back to age 2, though ;) I have a pansexual boyfriend...we've been together for close to a year and a half now. He has been a big support to me, especially when I was in the hospital for 19 days this summer.

I turned 28 in June, and that's roughly when my flare started. Went to the hospital in July, and eventually got the diagnosis of Crohn's colitis. I'm on Humira and Asacol, and that seems to be keeping things pretty well under control, but I have aches, fatigue, bits of itchiness, and a new allergy to most deodorants.

My biggest frustration is not really being interested in sex. I still have a libido, and I enjoy physical closeness with my boyfriend, but I just don't really want to have sex anymore. Sortof. I want to, but I'm apprehensive about some things, and I wind up feeling kindof conflicted...wanting to, but simultaneously not wanting to.

VictoriaSage: I was in Rochester a couple of weeks ago at an LGBTQ event, and I have a couple of gay friends there. Also, glad to see another gamer! :)
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Welcome to the group! I was on humira and had full body itchiness that still persists even though I stopped. I now have dermographia and need an anti-histamine daily to help control it.

A lot of people on the forum have a low sex drive. The disease takes such a toll on the body that its hard to want to do much else. How is your boyfriend handling that? It sounds like you are still intimate and affectionate which is great.
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Welcome to the group! I was on humira and had full body itchiness that still persists even though I stopped. I now have dermographia and need an anti-histamine daily to help control it.

A lot of people on the forum have a low sex drive. The disease takes such a toll on the body that its hard to want to do much else. How is your boyfriend handling that? It sounds like you are still intimate and affectionate which is great.
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My itchiness may be related to dry skin. I've had some problems with dehydration since the Crohn's started, before going on Humira. I get headaches sometimes, too, but I think I have them under control now.

My boyfriend seems to be handling things pretty well. We've talked about it some along the way. I feel bad about it, though. I have enough libido that I still masturbate regularly, although I suppose getting up to something with him would take more energy. Plus I'm afraid to try what I had enjoyed the most with him :p
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Welcome to the forum and our support group! Feel free to also stop by the Your Story section to introduce yourself to the forum at large too.

Diagnosed on New Year's? Oh man! We're you in the hospital?
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I will definitely copy and paste a link to my blog that describes my story with Crohn's Disease up until this point. I actually had my colonoscopy the night before New Year's Eve and I just remember being in so much pain that night. I got a phone call the next day confirming my diagnosis, so every time we are about to start a new year, I always get reminded that I was diagnosed on the turn of a New Year. I pretty much underwent many tests leading up to the colonoscopy. They all happened within days of each other. Thanks for the warm welcome to the forum. Hope you are doing well. :hug:
 
MikeSA said:
Hi all!

I am South African (Cape Town) and have been living with diagnosed Crohn's for about 2.5 years now, and symptoms possibly for about 4, or so, years.

I am gay, and have not "come out" to any specialist/GP, as the issue has never arisen for me. I guess I am excited to find a group who shares similar interests whilst struggling with the disease.

Not quite sure what to say at the moment. I am in my final year of studies, which involves quite a hectic workload (busy from 7am-6pm), so juggling symptoms and studies is probably a priority in my life at the moment. However, I have been lucky not to have had bad symptoms for a while now. Just the occassional bad week or so.

In what instances would people advise coming out to your local GP, other than obvious sexually-related issues? Do you folk feel more comfortable around one who knows of your sexual identity? It has crossed my mind before, but I have never felt the need (or been pressed in the situation) to come out, or bring up my sexuality.
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I also have not come out to my gastroenterologist about my sexuality. I feel like opening up to my GI about it will eventually have to come into play here. I need to know what I can and cannot do. I was diagnosed a little bit over two years ago myself and it has never come in conversation. I guess the reason for me personally is that I am single, so I do not in my mind have the need to bring it up to him just yet. I wish in all reality that my GI would bring up relationships because it is hard to just come and say it to someone out of nowhere. I do feel more comfortable around people who know my sexual identity and I feel like when the time is right, I will reveal it to my doctor. Like when I am faced with a committed relationship and the topic of sex arises, that is when I will have to ask my GI for advice.

I am glad to hear that you have not been having too many bad days and that you have been managing to deal with the symptoms while studying. I know how you feel because I was diagnosed while in college myself so I know about having to deal with the symptoms on top of the pressure and stress that comes along with studying and preparing oneself for an exam or a paper. I remember the deadlines and the due dates of all my work. I feel like the only way to reveal something like this is when you need the advice about it. You would want to know the potential health risks or what not. I hope that when it comes time for me to reveal it, I am able to so that way I can be better informed as a patient and take that knowledge with me into my relationship. When the situation calls for it, I think you will know how to go about it.
 
Wadeszworld, I'm confused by your saying your single. Didn't you say in an earlier post that you have a loving boyfriend for a year and a half?
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Wadeszworld, I'm confused by your saying your single. Didn't you say in an earlier post that you have a loving boyfriend for a year and a half?
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Nope, I think I was referencing someone else's post and you might have mistaken that for saying that I had someone. I am single and have been for quite some time. I am very nervous about dating in general and am anxious about revealing to whoever I end up dating in the future about my disease.
 
Sorry about that, it's hard to follow all of the threads especially when someone quotes someone else.

I am in the same boat, single and lonely. I have "come out" with Crohn's to past boyfriends and they were supportive but I also wasn't flaring like I am now. I am scared to go on a date, find someone I like and break the news but I always ease them in.

Ie: "I have a sensitive stomach on the 2nd date. Then third date maybe say something like "I have Crohn's, have you heard of it? Basically I need to be careful with what I eat or I have a lot of pain."

If they stick with me and don't run the other way I will over time explain the true complexity of the disease. Hopefully they will be supportive.
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Sorry about that, it's hard to follow all of the threads especially when someone quotes someone else.

I am in the same boat, single and lonely. I have "come out" with Crohn's to past boyfriends and they were supportive but I also wasn't flaring like I am now. I am scared to go on a date, find someone I like and break the news but I always ease them in.

Ie: "I have a sensitive stomach on the 2nd date. Then third date maybe say something like "I have Crohn's, have you heard of it? Basically I need to be careful with what I eat or I have a lot of pain."

If they stick with me and don't run the other way I will over time explain the true complexity of the disease. Hopefully they will be supportive.
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It is okay. I know there are many threads and I want to be very active in this particular support group because I know eventually I am going to need a ton of advice whenever I do start dating. I am single yes and at times it might get lonely, but I always remind myself that one day love will find me. I hopefully can be up front and honest with the person because I don't want to waste my time with someone who might not accept it later on in the relationship. I think for me that would hurt even worse. You go steady with someone for a few dates and you begin to develop feelings for them and then you have to reveal your health issue to the other person. It is truly overwhelming.

I wish I could say revealing to someone I've dated about my Crohn's Disease had a positive experience. I feel like when someone hears the word "disease" they often get the wrong idea. Yes it is something I am seriously scared about doing and having to feel the sense of rejection I have felt before from it. I guess that's what the dating scene is all about really. You never know what kind of reaction you are going to get, so I am trying to go into situations with an open mind. I feel like the ones that stick by you will show you how special of a person he is. If he is willing to want to learn more about your disease and how it affects you, then he really cares. Our disease definitely helps us in the instance that it shows us who are the compassionate and understanding people and who are not. Think of our disease as a compass. It points us in the right direction of that special someone and at times it will point us in the opposite direction signifying that said person is not for us.
 
Please participate as much as you like, I want this support group to really grow and be active. I think it's so tough being gay in a straight mans world and then to add to the puzzle have a cruel disease in a world that is obsessed with and has food play an integral part in our culture, social settings and happiness.

I think with regards to telling someone you are dating about IBD the keyword is "disease". You aren't lying by just saying Crohn's. I think adding on disease is a really scary term for most. It's one thing if you have been with the person for a while and they are invested in your relationship but most people who are new will be scared and not want to get started with someone who could have a lot of issues.

I find that when I have told people I have a "disease" I never heard from them again. When I told people I have Crohn's and eased them into my "sensitive belly" problem they were ok with it. I'm not hiding it I'm just making it more digestible. I also don't need to share such details with someone whom I might not be making part of my life.
 
WadeszWorld said:
I wish I could say revealing to someone I've dated about my Crohn's Disease had a positive experience. I feel like when someone hears the word "disease" they often get the wrong idea. Yes it is something I am seriously scared about doing and having to feel the sense of rejection I have felt before from it. I guess that's what the dating scene is all about really. You never know what kind of reaction you are going to get.
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OK, here are a few of my stories, just so you have an idea of some of the less-than-negative reactions. (I'm straight, but I don't think this matters in this context). These take place over about 6 years.

1. I met someone I really liked at a conference. We spent lots of time together over several days, then communicated very frequently for several months before I had a chance to visit him. When we met again, the feelings were there, but we were both really nervous. I told him that in the morning I would have to wake up at a specific time to take a bunch of pills for a medical condition. He looked seriously relieved, then said that he is also taking pills for a medical condition -- he'd been stressing about hiding them from me at each meal! Telling each other the truth about our health issues was a huge relief for both of us. Now, this guy has a completely different condition, and because of where we live (different countries), things didn't work out between us, but that was probably the nicest way things could have gone.

2. Met a guy I liked, told him after about 4 or 5 dates that I have Crohn's. It turns out that he had Crohn's too, though his was very mild (occasional use of pentasa) and mine is very severe (various meds, now Remicade)! We had a long discussion about esophagoscopies and other stuff over a beer. A few weeks later, the relationship was toast because this guy just couldn't figure out what the hell he was doing.

3. Went on a date with a guy from the Remicade clinic! Nice enough, and no awkward discussion about Crohn's or Remicade, but no sparks.

4. I met someone else and told him after 3 dates about the Crohn's. He said that he had wondered why I seemed so "grounded." It turns out that a close member of his family had been seriously disabled in a freak accident years ago, and he'd spent a lot of time dealing with the fallout from that. This partner was stellar in dealing with my Crohn's-related fatigue and illnesses. We broke up (after 2 years) for other reasons.

5. Just got back on the dating scene after breaking up with guy #4, and met someone I really liked. I told him about the Crohn's on date #3. We had a 4th date scheduled, but he emailed me to move it and then to cancel it because, according to him, there was no chemistry. At first I thought it might have been because of me telling him about the Crohn's, but it is probably more likely because I told him that I would not sleep with him until he submitted his divorce papers! (I have no interest in being dragged through someone's messy divorce, regardless of whether he considers being separated to be the same as divorced).

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that Crohn's is just one part of what can make a relationship go right or wrong. It is an extra stressful thing to deal with both at the beginning of a relationship (bringing it up) and as a relationship progresses (and your partner gets a better sense of how it affects both of your lives), but relationships can and do tank at various stages for many other reasons. So, chin up! There are great guys out there (gay & straight) and people can be ******** regardless of whether or not you have Crohn's, so don't let the Crohn's hold you back psychologically from meeting people.

<hug>
 
Sickofcrohns, it's so nice to hear positive and successful stories about dating with Crohn's! It reminds me that we all have our own issues. Someone might accept the Crohn's in us if we can accept whatever their negative is. Nobody is perfect!

I went out with 2 guys, one that I met through friends and the other I met online through a dating site. I noticed that they were kind of weird when they ate so I pryed a bit. I asked why they were making picky choices and asked if they had a food allergy. Turns out they both had Crohn's too! It was really cool to have that off the table and be a non-issue. They both had mild Crohn's and we didn't hit it off as more than friends but it was cool to meet another gay person with the disease. I really like one of the guys but he wasn't into me. He is now engaged to his partner. So there are people out there who will marry someone with Crohn's lol.

My last boyfriend also was kind of relieved by my IBD. He had IBS and felt that I was the first person to truly understand his issues. We accommodated one another when it came to going out and were often in sync when it came to feeling lousy.

Thanks for helping reframe the issue. It can be depressing and scary going out in the dating world but there may be some pleasant surprises like before.
 
I've never had an issue with telling someone about my crohns disease. I've had two long term relationships. And a handful of short term ones that ended for various reasons My current being at 4 years. I'm with the most caring and supportive person. She helps me through everything. The first two years I was healthy as a horse. The last two years that's a whole other story. I believe you just have to find the right mature individual. The type of relationship I have now is completely different then my previous ones. It's what I like to call an adult relationship lol. We even have a code red drill where sometimes I'm nauseous and end up not making it to the washroom. She is up and out of bed so fast. It's amazing lol
 
Beach bum said:
Hi everyone I am a Bi woman and I am very happily married to a wonderful man.

I am and always have been very comfortable with my own sexuality, but find others - from both sides of the fence - can be judgemental at times.
I guess it is understandable as alot of lesbians have been hurt by Bi women.

As I/we haven't had any female partners in the last couple of years, my Crohns hasn't been an issue in that way yet. But I do worry about it being an issue in the future if I became intimate with someone new.:kiss:


In the meantime, I just wanted to send my support to everyone here.
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Ditto! :lol: I mean to a T!
 
jlm said:
I've never had an issue with telling someone about my crohns disease. I've had two long term relationships. And a handful of short term ones that ended for various reasons My current being at 4 years. I'm with the most caring and supportive person. She helps me through everything. The first two years I was healthy as a horse. The last two years that's a whole other story. I believe you just have to find the right mature individual. The type of relationship I have now is completely different then my previous ones. It's what I like to call an adult relationship lol. We even have a code red drill where sometimes I'm nauseous and end up not making it to the washroom. She is up and out of bed so fast. It's amazing lol
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Code red drill! That is hilarious. I would need a code brown drill since I do sometimes have an accident in bed. I'd feel awful if someone was sleeping in my bed and I accidentally had diarrhea. What a nightmare.
 
Elektrikhd said:
My itchiness may be related to dry skin. I've had some problems with dehydration since the Crohn's started, before going on Humira. I get headaches sometimes, too, but I think I have them under control now.

My boyfriend seems to be handling things pretty well. We've talked about it some along the way. I feel bad about it, though. I have enough libido that I still masturbate regularly, although I suppose getting up to something with him would take more energy. Plus I'm afraid to try what I had enjoyed the most with him :p
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I have issues with dehydration too. I find coconut water really helps replenish me. It's also refreshing and healthy.

I know sex involves energy but there must be a book out there for people with low energy or who are lazy. I'm sure there are ways to be intimate that aren't too taxing.
 
WadeszWorld said:
I will definitely copy and paste a link to my blog that describes my story with Crohn's Disease up until this point. I actually had my colonoscopy the night before New Year's Eve and I just remember being in so much pain that night. I got a phone call the next day confirming my diagnosis, so every time we are about to start a new year, I always get reminded that I was diagnosed on the turn of a New Year. I pretty much underwent many tests leading up to the colonoscopy. They all happened within days of each other. Thanks for the warm welcome to the forum. Hope you are doing well. :hug:
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I definitely would love to check out the blog. What a horrible time to get diagnosed. I am always deathly scared of needing to be hospitalized during the holidays. I know that the regular doctors and staff aren't there and I'd be afraid of mistakes being made.
 
Just to let you all know that I'm rooting for you all. You all sound as if you have your lives 'sussed' so congrats for that!
Bit of a *** hag myself but nothing for anyone to worry about LOL
I'm Paddy from Northern Ireland but am an Englishwoman so work that one out!!!
 
nogutsnoglory said:
I have issues with dehydration too. I find coconut water really helps replenish me. It's also refreshing and healthy.

I know sex involves energy but there must be a book out there for people with low energy or who are lazy. I'm sure there are ways to be intimate that aren't too taxing.
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I'll have to check out coconut water. I'm not a big fan of coconut desserts generally, but I do like coconut shrimp. I probably won't like it, but it's still worth a try. I don't have too much trouble drinking about 64oz of water daily, plus some other assorted beverages, though. Variety (without adding too many calories) would be nice.

Also, noting what you said on another post, I was admitted to the hospital on July 3rd, which I think was a Wednesday. So, nothing got done on the 4th, and not much was done the next day since it was Friday, and then the weekend hit. So, it wasn't a long holiday, but it did slow things down. Still, I made out ok. I actually liked one of the "holiday" doctors (who I saw again when the regular one was off or it was a weekend or something) better than the regular one who had the same role.
 
The brand you buy will make a huge difference. The company Real Coconut Water is the best in my opinion followed by Zico.

Holiday medical staff might be nice but are they qualified? Furthermore are they qualified to deal with IBD?
 
In a general sense, the staff over the holidays are qualified. As far as dealing with IBD that may be more hit-or-miss. In my case they did have a GI doctor around, but I'm not sure every hospital will be the same. Doctors and nurses are at least real doctors and nurses.
 
The thing is, what are they doing when not subbing for doctors on holiday?

It makes me think they are second grade and wouldn't be hired for regular situations.

I know I had a family member in the hospital during Christmas and the nurses were trying to get an IV into her and it was miserable. They kept poking and had no clue what they were doing.
 
Do you guys have any more room for some straight allies who support equal rights for all despite sexuality?
 
Paddy Holmes said:
Just to let you all know that I'm rooting for you all. You all sound as if you have your lives 'sussed' so congrats for that!
Bit of a *** hag myself but nothing for anyone to worry about LOL
I'm Paddy from Northern Ireland but am an Englishwoman so work that one out!!!
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Hahaha! *** hag here as well!
 
I just wanted to give a shout out and thank you to all of the straight allies who have kindly stopped by to show their support and for all of those out there who stand by us.

Without straight allies, the gay community would get nowhere socially and politically. It's our straight friends, family, co-workers and neighbors who stand up for us that helps change people's hearts and minds about equal rights.

Hugs and cheers to you guys!
 
Ahhh so I'm meeting an old friend who I grew up with for dinner to reconnect. I'm so nervous because so much has changed in my life. He doesn't know I'm gay and while I have come out to so many people it still is so hard and scary each time. I don't think he will care at all but it's just so weird to tell him and it could get around to others in the community. I'm mostly out but people from my past largely don't know. I can't believe I'm actually concerned about this. I thought I was over the coming out thing.
 
Hi Folks,

Just a quick check in to make sure I'll be recognised when I have something useful to say.

Also Thanks to all our allies.

Oh! and a belated Happy Paddy's Day to ye all!

Seán
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Ahhh so I'm meeting an old friend who I grew up with for dinner to reconnect. I'm so nervous because so much has changed in my life. He doesn't know I'm gay and while I have come out to so many people it still is so hard and scary each time. I don't think he will care at all but it's just so weird to tell him and it could get around to others in the community. I'm mostly out but people from my past largely don't know. I can't believe I'm actually concerned about this. I thought I was over the coming out thing.
Click to expand...

Hey NGNG
I think you have to go with your guts (sorry bad joke here) but see how you feel when you actually meet up. I know gay friends of mine that still worried about telling certain people years after they came out. I'm sure that your history together will help you decide whether to tell him or not.
Is there a reason why people from your past don't know that you are gay?
I hope your get together goes well - I am sure that you will both have loads to tell each other! 😎
 
First off, yay for straight allies! :)

NGNG, not too long ago I met up with an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen for a while. It turned out that he's gay too! (in case that was confusing, I'm a queer girl and was hanging out with a gay guy friend who was not previously out to me and who I was not out to...) It was pretty funny. I hope that everything goes well with your friend.
 
CeeCeeGo said:
Hey NGNG
I think you have to go with your guts (sorry bad joke here) but see how you feel when you actually meet up. I know gay friends of mine that still worried about telling certain people years after they came out. I'm sure that your history together will help you decide whether to tell him or not.
Is there a reason why people from your past don't know that you are gay?
I hope your get together goes well - I am sure that you will both have loads to tell each other! 😎
Click to expand...

I think he is pretty open minded and to be honest if he isn't I don't need him in my life anyway. The people I grew up with I lost touch with so they don't know I came out after college. The people I grow up with tend to be a little conservative and make a lot of homophobic jokes. I don't think they hate gay people but they aren't exactly open minded.

"Plaidknitter: First off, yay for straight allies!

NGNG, not too long ago I met up with an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen for a while. It turned out that he's gay too! (in case that was confusing, I'm a queer girl and was hanging out with a gay guy friend who was not previously out to me and who I was not out to...) It was pretty funny. I hope that everything goes well with your friend."

That's so cool! I have to say its a nice fantasy to pretend he will come out to me but I'm 99% sure he is straight as a line. If he isn't I'd really be interested in dating him lol.
 
Today history is being made as the U.S. Supreme Court hears oral arguments on marriage equality. I am hopeful this will either end the debate or at least put us in a solid direction of granting full rights to gay and lesbian couples. I am going to be a political junkie and watch the news all day.
 
I was diagnosed after my partner and I had been broken up, which was super hard. I didn't have any symptoms at the end of our relationship, but I had lost a ton of weight & it was taking a toll on me emotionally. The year that we were apart was the hardest I've ever experienced, especially once I started getting really severe symptoms. Somehow things fell into place & we're back together after our year off, stronger than ever & I couldn't ask for a better advocate for my health. I had a perianal seton put in in November and was terrified to date or sleep with anyone and she made sure that I was okay with everything and does everything she can to make me feel beautiful every day and help me to forget that I've a heinous illness. She researches doctors, foods (we went vegan together three years ago when i had my first flare up but didn't know what it was and it went undiagnosed) that will be easy on me, and keeps me in check emotionally. And to think, we're not even married. :) let's hope that that becomes possible today! That support and love is out there guys; sometimes it's just part of our silly CD journey.
 

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