Helping a loved one with crohns

[crohnsgirlfriend]

Hey all!

I guess I'll start out by mentioning I am new to the site and I actually don't have Crohns! My boyfriend does! I have been doing a lot of research and a lot of looking into what I could do to help him more- last night he had a flare up and had me press on his stomach but at some point he needed me to stop because the pain was too intense. I've never dated anyone with Crohns, and as scary as it is for me I know it's scarier for him. I noticed he doesn't have an emergency kit so I was planning on making one today for both me and him to keep in our cars and for me to keep in my purse when we are out! I want to make sure to be there and support him, and just be present. But since I'm really, really, REALLY new to this, I wanted to get insight from people who have Crohns to talk about what they would need a significant other to do/not do, and what helps you guys and your relationships! It's really scary for me to see him in a flare up, and I get really worried about it but in a sense I'm afraid to tell him because I feel like it's kind of selfish. His personality is pretty reserved and I want to make sure he gets enough space and support at the same time. I try to ask what he needs, but I don't want to be too pushy also. If anyone has any advice or any sort of help they could give, that'd be super great!

 

[ronroush7]

He is lucky to have someone like you. You can let him know that you are there to support him. You !right have something on hand so he doesn't get dehydrated.

 

[Sophabulous]

You are very sweet! I would be floored if my boyfriend did that for me ha ha!

I would say (depending on his symptoms of course) maybe heat patches for the pain, change of underwear, wet wipes, whatever pain killers he has usually just as spares in case he forgets to take them or anything.

I would also suggest rescue remedy tincture, I find it really calms me down and helps me not to worry to much which doesn't help symptoms.

I'm sure others with more experience will have more to add

 

[Lintel]

The others are right, he is very very lucky to have you. I'm also a partner and don't have crohns myself.
It can be really tough at times, and you need to have broad shoulders.

My advice would be don't let his illness "define" him, sometimes I find myself thinking more about how to help the Crohns than how to just be there and be a nice normal partner.

Give him space when he needs it, make sure he knows you are always at the end of a phone.. or the end of the sofa.

Plenty of hugs go a long way.

Don't panic when he has a flare up, just be there and take his advice on what he would like you to do.

NEVER be afraid to ask for advice yourself, - I've found this forum super helpful with regards to that- having someone to talk to and get advice from.

But most importantly TALK- communicate with him and make sure he communicates with you whether that be through person... text or wee notes left around the car and house. Men are awful communicators... they needs us women to draw it out them