How do I regain my self esteem and personality?

[JAG]

Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with crohns disease shortly after I graduated highschool(2011). I was 18 when I was diagnosed, am now 19. Sense highschool 2 of my 3 best friends have moved away for school and sports, and the one that stayed helped me a lot throughout the last year. Sadly, he was just admitted into hospital with depression, so now I'm really feeling more alone than ever. I used to be a really outgoing guy, could make friends with almost anyone, but sense I've been sick I've become so self-concious and have extremely low self esteem. Im sure having my closest friends still with me all the time helps that, but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who's gone from that "really high self esteem, happy, fun person" to "down in the dumps, always feeling judged and low" person? If so, how did you get out yourself? I just find that I cant talk to people anymore, and am always wishing I had my old personality back.

 

[Trysha]

Hello Jag
Welcome to the forum.
What you are feeling is understandable in the circumstances.
You have a debilitating illness and that alone is very wearing on the system.
Have you had recent bloodwork done such as CBC, Sed rate,CRP, Vit B12 level, iron levels etc.Proper follow up with the GI is imperative.
If your B12 is low, and iron low it could be contributing to the way you are feeling.
To have the vitamin and mineral levels restored to proper levels can contribute to great feelings of well being.
It can be difficult to maintain adequate levels when suffering from crohn's or ulcerative colitis., or any IBD.
It might be a good idea to check in with your docs and ask for some help with the way you are feeling.
It is natural to feel sad when our companions leave us, but life is like that, full of exits and entrances.
If you are in college or university there are usually activities to join and meet others.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha

 

[Judith]

Welcome to the Forum Jag,
We are here for you! You can talk to us about anything. I hope you find what you need here and are feeling more like your old self quickly.

Trysha brought up some excellent advice. I hope it helps.

It is unfortunately quite common to feel a lot of undesireable effects when you are ill, including: extreme tiredness / fatigue, down in the dumps / depressed, anxious, short tempered, just to name a few. Most of these effects are due to the Immune System's Inflammatory Response. Check out our Wiki pages on [wiki]Vitamin and Mineral Deficiencies[/wiki] and [wiki]Fatigue[/wiki].

Welcome again, and I hope you feel better soon!

 

[Guest9283]

How about a hobby? The quickest thing that use to pick up my self esteem after a bad time were :

Workout getting back in shape (slowly work into it as you feel better)
Mma training.
Working on sports cars (things you are good at)
Riding motorcycles. (^^)


Both of those are excellent self esteem boosters, but I believe it just comes down to picking a hobby you enjoy. Something that gets you out the house.

Buy some new clothes so your sense of self image improves (you see this science at work with woman all the time lol)

Talk to girls. It takes just one to like you and make you feel on top of the world.

There is always therapy. It's not as extreme as you think, and works well.

 

[JAG]

I am getting regular Vit. B12 shots(every 2 weeks) and am taking iron because of anemia. I have bought new clothes and it does help. I just have really low downs when I'm not feeling good and really high highs when I'm feeling great. I've just started school again(2 courses, easing into work so not overloaded with stress) and am starting to feel social again. Never really had to work at things like this, always just came to me easily. I guess nothing was really ment to be easy eh haha. Thank you for the support and everything, its all really helpful. Nice knowing I'm not the only one

 

[Trysha]

Hi Jag
It's good to hear you are on an upswing and hope it stays that way for you.
You are going to be busy, always a good thing and soon you will have more contacts.
It is natural to feel down with the ups and downs of crohn's.
Keep your chins up and stay cheery.
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha

 

[b1ackmai1er]

Hi there,

Are you able to do any exercise. I only do 15m a day, started at 10m and have found it to increase my alertness, confidence and strength in a very short time. It's been nearly 12m since my last surgery and it is only in the last couple of months that I have had the strength or confidence to try exercising again. I hope you are able to give it a try. Best of luck

2

 

[happy]

JAG,
Learning how to live with any chronic illness takes time and zaps your energy. You are not the same person as you were before diagnosis. The lens through which you view yourself and the world will have changed a bit. Most of the young people around you will not be dealing with the same issues, so it is not uncommon to feel out of step with them.

It is great that you are back at school, but are taking it slow. Be very kind to yourself as you adjust to living with this illness.

 

[lizzy16]

I know exactly how you're feeling as do many here - facing the prospect of a life-long illness is so daunting, and being fatigued and sick all the time is just awful, enough to make anyone feel down and not themselves. I really fell out of touch with people when I was diagnosed last year, it took many things to make me feel normal again - I started responding to meds and improving when I moved to a different city where I had more close friends. I took it slowly, but started socialising again and gradually got back to where I feel like "me" again.

Lately when I find myself feeling down, I try to get outside and do something different, last week I went to the museum (it was free which is a bonus) - spending hours looking at pieces of meteorite and dinosaur bones made me realise just how small I am and how amazing the universe is - it blew my mind.

We're here for you!

 

[ladybugoleander]

I was diagnosed diagnosed with Crohn's disease the same time you were, right after high school. This time is a difficult transition for everyone, having a chronic illness only makes it worse. I definitely felt the same way you have. I lost my identity. Before Crohn's all my hobbies involved sports, and all my friends were very active. They didn't understand when I could no longer take hikes with them or join the college water polo team. They never had to worry about doctor bills or scheduling infusions. It was hard.

I won't say it's easy to get past it. But finding new hobbies, like others have said, is key. And just try to do your best to remember that you're still you. Your disease, your hobbies, these aren't the things that define you. You'll make new friends in school, and you'll always have forums like these for support. Things will get better, you just need time to adjust.