"It's all in your head"

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nogutsnoglory

nogutsnoglory

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My psych is really pissing me off. I know he believes in behavior modification and is trying to change patients negative thoughts but he is taking it too far.

In telling him how disabling Crohn's is and how depressed I am about it, he responded saying "you look fine to me". I explained to him that IBD is an invisible disability and he can't see my pain, fatigue and malnourishment. He sees how thin I am but he keeps saying I can do things I know I can't do. I can't go out much with friends I get very dizzy and weak from all the diarrhea and he says "you came here". A half hour appointment is far different than walking around the mall all day.

Grrrr he is annoying me! I want to be as empowered with my IBD as possible but hate him discounting what is very real and debilitating for me.

(Ok off soap box now)
 
I'm sorry your having a bad experience with your psych, it bad enough when a layman doesn't understand but it's disgraceful when it's a Dr! I have diabetes and osteoarthritis aswell as crohns, all hidden illness and people say the same thing to me, I've put on a lot of weight thanks to pred and get a today glow from the odd hot flush so people reckon I look healthy.

I hope things improve for you soon. Good luck.

By the way soap boxes are very important so keep at it when necessary :ysmile:
 
I would find a new therapist; one with some empathy. Sometimes our physical symptoms can get in the way of being able to make any psychological changes. While we wait to regain some energy, we need support, empathy and encouragement, not someone who discounts the very real physical difficulties that we are going through. You do not need to put up with a poor therapist.

May you soon be feeling more energetic.
 
Thanks for the support guys. I understand that he doesn't want people to develop a victim mentality but that doesn't mean that my physical symptoms aren't real.

I know about weight gain on pred and felt terrible while on it. I would have been so mad if someone said oh your face is chunky, you must be feeling healthy. Ugh.
 
I always try to keep in mind that I am paying my therapist to help me not feel so depressed, anxious, etc. and I can get empathy for free from anyone. I have always been of the opinion that therapy is really someone telling you the tough stuff that sometimes you don't want to hear. I pay to be told "Hey, you may not be feeling up to doing every single thing you want to do, but you do still have a quality of life". I need to be told that, even though sometimes it doesn't sit well. Otherwise, I forget and then fall back in the pit of despair.
 
Oh isn't life fun!!! Huh I wish! I have diabetes too so the pred really mucked up my blood sugars, I felt so rotten, I got by by reminding myself I could be worse and that I wouldn't be on the meds much longer.
 
MichelleinKansas said:
I always try to keep in mind that I am paying my therapist to help me not feel so depressed, anxious, etc. and I can get empathy for free from anyone. I have always been of the opinion that therapy is really someone telling you the tough stuff that sometimes you don't want to hear. I pay to be told "Hey, you may not be feeling up to doing every single thing you want to do, but you do still have a quality of life". I need to be told that, even though sometimes it doesn't sit well. Otherwise, I forget and then fall back in the pit of despair.
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I know what you mean, but when I get down and depressed I remember what my sister has gone thru with having huge ulcers on her feet that they could not cure for 13 yrs. She is practically crippled from them. They are healed now but her feet are deformed from the way she had to walk from the pain. She never complained though & I know how much pain she was in. She had ten or more skin grafts of every kind and every test on earth as to why she has them. They are finally closed and she is having her first surgery next month to help straighten her foot to walk again. They were wrapped for so long her feet are too skinny to put pins in. It is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. Yet she remained active and chose to be happy and not complain all the time. So, it helps me alot with not feeling sorry for myself.:heart:
 
Have you considered seeing a new one? Maybe for just a couple of sessions to get a second opinion... Don't tell the new one about your old psych, so that you get a completely honest opinion
 
Sounds like your therapist is just fluffing your illness to the side and that is wrong. It is one thing to try and put a positive respect on things, but what he is doing is kind of ignoring you when you are telling him how bad a time you are having with this illness. I would honestly look or a different therapist if it were me. This one sounds like he is lacking empathy big time.
 
This sounds like a tool he's using to push you further, if you have some give to give. Having said that, though, you know where your own limits are. You know when you can't and when you could have. Push yourself hard all the time and there will never be any doubt in your mind, and when there's none there, you don't have to listen to this. On the other hand, after the shock of his questions wears off a little, it doesn't hurt to mull these things over with yourself. that's probably what he's going for anyway. hope that helps.
 
Sounds like he is minimizing what you are telling him. Sounds also like he lacks empathy. I would kick him to the curb as hard as it may be starting over with someone new.

Jac
 
It's hard to find any that take insurance though so I don't wanna kick him to the curb too quickly.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, I'm dying to go out and live life for a change. I suppose he doesn't know me well enough yet to know that I'm not just this person who enjoys saying I'm sick all the time. There are whiners out there but I'm not one of them.
 
I am going to be he completely honest with you, the therapist you have probably does not have crohns and maybe does not know anyone who does. Maybe your therapist has never had to deal with having a chronic illness, so his understanding is going to only go so far I am afraid. People who are Not chronically ill are not really going to get it. It is easy for a therapist to look over a persons illness and say " well, you just need to push yourself more and be more positive" when the therapist really has no clue what you are dealing with on a daily basis. I mean it is especially upsetting due to the fact that you told this guy how bad you feel physically with this disease and it seems like he is making light of it.

I do understand that it is the therapists job to try and help you to mentally get a hold of your stresses and to offer coping skills. But there is a fine line which I think your therapist has crossed. I mean I know myself when I am feeling awful, I just cannot do anything but sit with my heating pad on in order to get a slight relief of pain. If someone told me I had to just put how I felt aside and go out for an evening to dinner or something, well, ummm, NO that is not going to happen unless I want to feel even worse at the end of the day. I mean the bottom line is, you know what you are feeling up to doing at any given moment. Only you know how you are physically feeling. I mean if you have to stay with thos therapist, then I would definitely tell him how you feel. I mean tell him that you do not think he understands just how hard this disease effects people physically. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I use to see a counselor, she was wondeful but she moved away! I went to see some other guy and he was terrible. He said because I was not in tears or hysterical that I was handling my illness just fine!!!! Just because I am not one to break down and cry or be hysterical when I am in severe pain does not mean I am not hurting and suffering! I mean you should really open up and tell this guy how you feel if you plan on continueing with him in my opinion..







nogutsnoglory said:
It's hard to find any that take insurance though so I don't wanna kick him to the curb too quickly.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself, I'm dying to go out and live life for a change. I suppose he doesn't know me well enough yet to know that I'm not just this person who enjoys saying I'm sick all the time. There are whiners out there but I'm not one of them.
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Next time I see him I am going to explain that I understand where he is coming from but that he needs to understand that I am not using Crohn's as an excuse to disable my life but rather it is the disease currently disabling me. I will also tell him that I am not sitting idly by and going on meds and doing everything in my power to get back to normal. I will tell him that I cannot have him call into question my symptoms because it is not only offensive but also something that is out of my control.
 
Yes, I agee with you and everything you said! He does need to understand that it IS the disease that is disabling you and that it is not an easy disease to live with.. Good luck and I hope it will change his way of thinking..






nogutsnoglory said:
Next time I see him I am going to explain that I understand where he is coming from but that he needs to understand that I am not using Crohn's as an excuse to disable my life but rather it is the disease currently disabling me. I will also tell him that I am not sitting idly by and going on meds and doing everything in my power to get back to normal. I will tell him that I cannot have him call into question my symptoms because it is not only offensive but also something that is out of my control.
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Thanks everyone for your support. This is the only place besides my family who sees what I go through who truly understand.
 
If your ologist is any good and crohns disease is all about how you feel about yourself (all in your head) you should be a sparkling picture of health by now. From what you have said I believe a new head doctor may not be such a bad idea. If we ranted and raved and cried every time we were in pain we wouldn't stop crying. I think some personal development is needed by Dr know it all. I am a therapist and as I am not well myself I can empathise with those who are not well. It is a double whammy for us with this affliction. From what I have researched Crohns is with you forever, yes remission does happen but it is always there. How does one deal with the knowlege that you are going to feel like shit for the rest of your life ????????And not even have the luxury of knowing it will end as a terminal patient has. If any one knows the answer to that let me know. From my experience we deal the best way we can, Sometimes it upsets others when we have our lows but that is our bodies telling us we are sick ' I have had to get to the point where those upset people dont actually help you in any way shape or form. You have the illness and you know how to deal with the life you have been dealt. Sometimes that means that you don't cope. Thats ok though its part of dealing with it. Others just want you not to be ill as it makes them feel more comfortable. I have tried all the cognitive behavour therapies, alternate therapies, denial and down right pigheadedness that I can will this away with the power of possitive thinking. That didn't work so well as I had to interup my possitive thinking proces with umpteen visits to the toilet.I believe we are all incredibly strong resilient people to have got this far without giving into the alternative. a song I heard that says"Im not crazy Im just a little unwell. " Has been my mantra for when the disease takes hold and I start to doubt my own sanity. It helps . I hope this missive has been helpful
 
Before i was diagnosed with Crohns, i saw a few doctors. One basically said "it was all in my head". He said that there was nothing wrong with me and it was my mums fault because i was not force fed vegetables when i was younger. I was then diagnosed with Crohns, and that so called doctor was suppose to be a gastro specialist!
 
Just caught up with this thread. It's a weird sort of problem... not looking as bad as you feel... and it's happened to me. It used to be a problem with taking time off work, I just used to feel really tired and debilitated. Would it be any better if I looked really bad?
I even had a boss once who said: "You've lost weight"... as if it was spending my time off sick down at the gym.

At least there are people here who understand.
 
The things that psychiatrists/therapists say belong on the 'bad, thoughtless comments' board. If doctors think that I am making it up about all the pain, diarrhea, and resulting isolation that I've had, I would like to tell them this: If I were going to make something up about myself, I would say that I'm famous, that I finished law school or something interesting. The last thing that I would ever make up is that I live my life around wondering where the next toilet is.
 

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