A young couple were planning their pending marriage to coincide with the young royals. They'd paid for everything, and had a tidy sum tucked aside for the honeymoon. They deferred planning it, hoping that word of where the royal couple planned to go would leak. The only thing left was the bachelor and bachelorette parties. The bride to be imposed very strict rules on what her future hubby could, and more importantly, couldn't do at his. She even took all of their hard saved honeymoon money and kept it with her so he couldn't do anything foolish. He agreed, and he and his pals had a somewhat quiet nite. However, the BFF's of the bride to be had different ideas for the stagette. Their sole goal was to get the future bride blitzed out of her mind. Unfortunately, they accompanied her in this, and no sober heads were to be found amongst the entire ensemble. One of them offered up the idea that it would be a great idea to take the bride to a local, lavish spa and have her fixed up with a bikini wax before the honeymoon. Everyone, bride included, thought this a marvelous idea. So off they went, and before you know it the bride is receiving her first ever Brazilian. After it was done, everyone needed to see the results. You know how they often say less is more? Well, sometimes more is better. Without her natural foliage, something just didn't look as it should. One of the drunken party asked the esthetician if she could put some back. The only anwser to that was an emphatic no, it simply wasn't possible. Well, this didn't sit well with the gals in the group, except for the bride to be, who... although extremely drunk, was feeling the full effects of the procedure she'd just been introduced to... so much so, that even just the thought of putting her knickers back on was too daunting to attempt. Anyway, her gal pals insisted that there must be something that could be done, they didn't want their best friends honeymoon to be anything less than stellar. Put on the spot, the esthetician suggested they might be able to do something at the tattoo parlour across the street. So off the group staggered. At the tattoo parlour, the tattoo artist regretfully informed them he couldn't restore the lost hair, and that the area itself seem too inflamed to do anything in the line of tattooing; but he did suggest that perhaps a tattoo in an adjacent area might do the trick... take the focus off her hairless condition until nature took its course and her natural foliage re-grew. That seemed like a marvelous idea to all... with the exception of the future bride who was too far gone to know where she was or what was going on. Then came the big confab about what tatto would be appropriate, and where exactly it would be placed. Then one of the gal pals spotted a rendition of the young royals, and became inspired. She suggested that a tattoo of each of the young couple be placed high on the inner thigh of the bride to be. Well, everyone, including the inebriated future missus, thought this a splendid idea. Money was no option... the bride to be had wads of it with her. So, the artist began his work... but between the sight he had to work around, and the squirming of the subject, it didn't turn out to be his best work. However, the troupe, in their drunken state, didn't find fault with his efforts, and paid him and included a lavish tip. Having spent all of the brides financial resources on the waxing and tattooing, and having succeeded in giving her a night she'd never forget... if she ever remembered it, the festivities came to an end.
The next morning did not dawn bright and rosey for the future bride. She awoke hungover, and hurting to the extreme in her most tender of areas, and apparently completely spent of funds.
Her hairless and tattooed condition wasn't something she could hide from her future husband, and although fearful of his response, she told him of everything that had happened. He didn't respond as badly as she had feared. The thought of the tattoos and the waxing appealed to him... so he insisted he be shown the handiwork of the night before. Well, he had to agree that the wax job just didn't suit her, but time would take care of that. As for the tattoos, he was outraged at the fee charged for such poor artistry... the images didn't look anything like the royal couple. There was no way that he was going to sit back and let that go. They'd go to this tattoo parlour, and demand a full refund. At least that way they could still go on a modest honeymoon. His future bride thought that was a great idea, so off they trotted.
Her hubby to be strode into the tattoo parlour, full of wrath, and insisted on a refund. The tattoo artist had a strictly no refund policy, and a bitter argument ensued. Hubby swore he would sue, and ruin the artists reputation for trying to pass off such poor imitations as the royal couple. This gave the artist pause for thought. His royal couple tattoo was a big money maker, and he didn't want any negative publicity, especially leading up to the royal event. So, instead of capitulating completely, he offered this compromise. Pick any stranger who passed his parlour, show him/her the tattoos, and if that person didn't recognize them he'd give a full refund. The couple agreed, even though it would require the young lady, who was still too sore to wear panties, to expose her most private areas to a total stranger. The very next person to happen along proved to be the neighbourhood drunk. At first there were some qualms about trusting his opinion, given his state of inebriation, but the bride realized that he was so drunk, he might not notice her condition, or remember it if he did. So, it was agreed, the drunk was brought it, the young lady lifted her dress, and spread her legs, and the drunkard was asked if he recognized anyone in her tattoos. He took his time, carefully sweeping his gaze from one thigh to the other. The suspense was building.
Finally, patience worn out, the trio demanded if he could say if anyone he saw resembled the royals. The drunk thought for a moment (you've read this far, are you ready for the payoff?)
and said... "Well, I don't know the one on the right, nor the one on the left, but the bald guy in the middle with the big ears and bad breath is definitely Prince Charles!"
