Just a little freaked out.

[Glen1985]

In the middle of last night something rather unpleasant happened to me really. I had got up because I was feeling a bit achy and needed to move my pillows but at the same time bowels felt a little upset but didn't really think much on that side. However when I got up to sort my bed out I just ended up having an accident instead and not a small one ether. It was like it was pushing or letting it's way out and I couldn't stop it at all.

Sadly this sort of thing isn't new for me and while it's been on and off I have been wearing protective underwear sense December. Thankfully that night was a time I had them so there wasn't a mess everywhere but it did make me feel very unsettled. I don't really know why sometimes I empty my bowels when upright but I've never had it before where it's almost like I woke up to do such a thing.

Really when it comes to this side of things I was just planning on putting up with it and waiting to see if it's just flair up and will go after the op but I'm wondering if that's really such a good idea or if I should seek help sooner. Last time I spoke to my gp he said stuff like this shouldn't be happening based on the location of the inflamed part but it is happening and part of me just wants to know why or if I may have damaged something and what can be done.

I really wouldn't wish what's happening or how I feel on anyone and just want it to go away.

 

[Guest]

hi Glen.. i'm sorry to hear about this, it must be upsetting for you i've just read back through your previous posts to get up to date on what's happening with you... do you have a surgery date yet?

if what's pushing to come out is diarrhea, then maybe you could get some meds to control this a bit..

anyone with severe diarrhea, even if the cause is simply a tummy bug, can have trouble holding onto it.. the rectal muscles are pretty powerful ones, and once that urge starts to expel, it is very difficult to hold onto it, particularly when it's liquid.. so don't feel too bad about it.

i noticed that you hadn't told your family about this, from one of your last posts.. have you yet? i would try and share with them what you're going through - you need support and understanding from those around you.

 

[Glen1985]

The operation itself hasn't been arranged yet but I see the team who will be doing I think next time I go. That will be in March on the 8th.

I think if I remember right I have told family and friends some of the details but I've never let on how bad things can be. I don't want them to know ether because I know it'll only cause more worry and also I don't wish for them to fuss about me so much ether.

I can pin port 2 things where the worry comes from however. 1st is that I think maybe this goes back even before the flair up that I think maybe something was seeping out anyway. With it as well days when I'm more firm and less liquid still has the same effect.

2nd is also when things started to flair up a few months before posting this side started to get like this, There were times when I had to hold on and then I could better, there were times when it would end in a huge amount of pain and often would have to let go. The feeling off that was horrendous really like what I suppose being stabbed may be like. I do often have to go quicker then I use to though.

When I crohn's to start with as a kid many years ago and before all of this flair up stared, how things effected me was very different so it's been hard to understand any of it. I know that I have to be strong and not let it beat me as a person, but I just do know what to do or think about this side anymore.