Limericks to choose from

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Ole smokie's out in Vegas
We all hope she makes us
Rich, with the pull of a lever
But she has said never
Will she gamble; as she screams and shakes us.
 
Another day, another dollar,
suit, tie, starched collar.
On my way,
to the subway.
To my CF buddies, I holla!
 
Don't mess with this brotha,
he's mean like no otha.
Will pop you with his nerf,
if you invade on his turf.
And you'll cry for ya motha.
 
Cute puppy, Shantel. You have a dog and a cat?

Nice new avatar, pop. I might have to change mine now that the season is officially over. Maybe a black suit and hat. LOL.
 
Nessa the TX lass,
jokes about her gas.
CF she spurned,
but soon she returned,
to regale us with her sass.
 
Ness stays gone
For way too long
Now she's back
To talk some smack
Knowing she can never be wrong!
 
The news is out
It's not something you usually shout
Farm's a vampire
He likes to wear bra's with under wire
I don't know how that came about.
 
Farm will attack at night
In your dreams cause you fright
In search of blood and dip
A few beers for his trip
Flying away out of sight

(Underwire? I need push-ups)
 
Smokie threatened to lick,
She thought her tongue was sick.
Her pup is ill,
Needs a pill?
Ris would say poop on a stick.
 
Yes I do have a weird tongue
And no it is not caused by fung
Duke is now at the vet
Cancer is a sure bet:(
I feel like I have been stung
 
I'm pulling for Duke,
Hope "C" is just a fluke.
Fingers crossed,
he won't be lost.
I'm sad and want to puke.
 
Thanks guys
They drew blood and did x-rays. He's home, but it looks like he may have cancer of the spleen. The blood work will be back tomorrow. I'm sorry to post this here, and I wish I wouldn't have written that limerick. Any way, I'm glad he's home I'm just dreading the next step. I'm so sad, he's such a good dog. I had to have my husband go with me to pick him up. I couldn't get him in the car this afternoon, his back legs are too weak to jump in our SUV. So he and I walked the 2 blocks to the vet. He did really good on the walk??So IDK
maybe he's got a lot more time left....Thanks everyone:)
 
oh, smokie I hope you don't have to deal with a great loss for a long time.
 
I wear about an A minor
Nothing would look finer
Than a copenhagen upper
That could double for supper
So I could skip the diner.
 
Football, horses, and hay
Take up most of my day
At night I fly around
Checking out necks downtown
When tired in a coffin I will lay.
 
Why does toilet paper
Always feel like a razor
I dread to head in
To drop off the browns again
I hate the screaming scower caper.
 
When you wipe 1,000 times a day
What else is there to say
It hurts like a mother
I've found no other
Paper that will take the pain away.
 
I got calmo from a friend
To protect my rear end
But there are times
I still whine
Cause wiping hurts like sin.
 
Sometimes I stretch the facts
But that calmo is like crack
I love to numb
And ice my bum
So it doesn't hurt as much in the back.
 
Take baths and moisturize,
Brings the swelling down in size.
When you flare,
Sit in a tub and stare
It's like a coffin with water insides.
 
Thanks for the advice
A water coffin sounds nice
I guess it depends
On how you treat your rearend
And what kinds of foods are your vice.
 
When calmo runs out,
Give your friend a shout.
He'll hook you up,
With tubes of the stuff.
Accepts beers as payment no doubt.
 
I'll send ya some shine
To help ya pass the time
Stronger than beer
But you'll have no fear
Just chase it and cut it with lime.
 
It'd be great
But some couldn't articulate
Too much time
To think up a rhyme
To every event we'd be late.
 
The limerick crew is at it again
How can I ever refrain?
I always check this thread first
For rhymes, I have a thirst
They keep me from going insane.
 
I'm about to bring some gansta up in here
Riding with my homies inflict'n fear
Doing my drive by
Ya know how my nerf flies
All them other gangs can't come near!
 
Don't come up in there with that
I'll go load my gat
My rhymes blow you away
Nothing more you can say
You might as well hit footballs with a bat.
 
Hey, don't get trigger happy
I said your rhymes are sappy
Go sell some baked goods
Stay out of the hoods
Then your limericks will be snappy
 
I got them Southern roots
Nashville to boot
I may not be twangy
but my rhymes are tangy
Your point is moot
 
I'll have to give you props
Cause your rhymes never stop
You only spit like this
Because you are my sis
So limericks we always drop.
 
One nice word and I melt
I'll put away my black belt
This is all said in fun
My mean words are done
I hope I didn't leave a welt
 
I always take it lite
Bro's n Sis's sometimes fight
But we know what we say
Is never taken that way
Even if I'm a vampire at night.
 
My tummy is hurtin'
The bottom's a spurtin'
This disease is complex
My stomach sounds like T-Rex
But my smile I'm still sportin'


Thanks to you all!:)
 
Bro and sis,
Their rhymes don't miss.
They shoot'em out quick,
Not bad for two hicks,
Too much beer, time to piss.
 
Where'd peaches go
She needs to drop rhymes yo
Though she acts all sweet
Your butt she'll beat
With all the white raps she knows.
 
Hey, we all could be a limerick quartet
Busting out rhymes, no one's sure to forget
Let's do a show
And make lots of dough
We can join the jet set!
 
We could travel the U.S.
Spitting the best
But we've all got the shotty's
So we'd need lots of potty's
Less we leave a big mess
 
farm said:
We could travel the U.S.
Spitting the best
But we've all got the shotty's
So we'd need lots of potty's
Less we leave a big mess
Click to expand...


:ylol2: :ylol2: What would I do with out these rhymes???
 
Farm, Fen, Smokie and Peaches.
We're the Hot Limerick Bitches.
Three hicks, one yank -
Look out or we'll spank.
Leave our audience in stitches.

Off to grab a beer,
With a client I hold dear.
We both made lots of jack,
When we sold his firm a few years back.
That's why I won't be here.
 
Revenge:)

That same old question of the day
What are we having they say?
Will that make me fat?
Ooh yuck, what is that?
It's liver and onions to their dismay
 
There once was a guy in our trunk
We put him there cause he was drunk
We forgot he was there
Till we noticed the air
Was filled with a horrible funk....

oops!
 
Shantel said:
Can't say that I have ever had liver and onions....is it good (feeling for the kids at the moment :O)
Click to expand...
Yuck, my mom use to make that junk. That's why I have Crohn's today!
 
Just thinking of liver
Makes Farm shiver
I don't eat that mess
But I'll probably eat the rest
Somethings would make you quiver.
 
Capital Grille for dinner,
Steaks and wine...what a winner!
It was yummy.
My poor tummy.
I'm not a sinner.
 
"I'm not a sinner." Your belly thinks you are!
From your computer to the bathroom, I hope it's not too far!
At least you didn't get sh*tfaced
And shart yourself in that place
But ya know... it could've happened in your caaaahhhh!!!!!!
 
Hahahahahaha.

I am a little loopy,
My eyelids kinda droopy.
Had some wine,
It was fine,
Tomorrow may be poopy.
 
Hoping tomorrow you feel all right
Just get some good sleep tonight
And if tomorrow you feel like poop
Stay home and give us the scoop
Talking with you guys always makes me see the light :)
 
Tomorrow I'm off to DC,
For a meetings with client-to-be.
Fingers crossed no pain,
Don't want to poop on train.
That would just be nasty.
 
fenway1971 said:
Tomorrow I'm off to DC,
For a meetings with client-to-be.
Fingers crossed no pain,
Don't want to poop on train.
That would just be nasty.
Click to expand...
Take me with you!! I want to see D.C. so bad. Bring some Immodium Just in case.
 
fenway1971 said:
Traveled quite a bit too. It's a personal vice.

Family reunion in 2010 in DC? That'd be fun!
Click to expand...
That's a good vice. My dream is to drive from coast to coast with no set itinerary. Stop at all the tourist traps....and rest stops probably. He He
 
They say you can get your kicks
Route 66 is the one to pick
See the country is what I'll do.
Many miles will accrue
Exotic toilets will be my favorite picks.
 
Crohnie's could go fah,
In a faht-powered cah.
We'd just toot,
and along we'd scoot.
You, me, Farm, Peaches and Ma.
 
Last edited:
imisspopcorn said:
That's a good vice. My dream is to drive from coast to coast with no set itinerary. Stop at all the tourist traps....and rest stops probably. He He
Click to expand...

I've always wanted to do this too. :)
 
I agree. I'd be hoping in my car right now and driving that direction to pick you up. :) Or should you fly here so we can start in the corner of the US?
 
Either way would be great. I want to take pictures of all the kitschy(Sp?) tourist traps like the biggest ball of thread....
 
haha .. yeah. :) That would be fun. I think we'd have a good time on a road trip. At least neither of us would mind if we had to make 100 stops to go potty. ;)
 
Road trip time
Will be just fine
Riding at night
By the pale moonlight
I got corona's, you bring the lime
 
We could ride
With Crohnie pride
Painting our names
On toliets with no shame
Ruining the place for the next guy.
 
Like bonnie and clyde,
it'd be a wild ride.
Into restrooms we'd sneak,
for poops and a leak,
while exploring america's pride.
 
I've been dropping limericks so long
That even Fenny thinks my mind is gone
But I keep on for a while
To make ya'll smile
If in the lounge, this would be so wrong.
 
Peaches is rolling with a crapper
Soon she'll install the clapper
It'll flush on demand
By the clap of her hand
She'll be so giddy we'll have to slap'er.
 
Thumbs up from Farm,
he don't mean no harm.
He's the CF clown,
picking us up when we're down.
I hit the snooze after my alarm.
 
I post a pic of pappy
To make you all so happy
Some knew him well
Some we just can't tell
But that's Karl right thar looking snazzy.
 
Tell em to close the gate
Before it's too late
You don't wanna see
with what he has to pee
Don't let this be your fate!
 
He's trying to impress,
this girl in a red dress.
She is cute,
he looks like klute.
It's fun to watch this mess.
 
Have you lost your mind?
The girls are way behind
Sometimes ya'll get lucky
But some of the rhymes are sucky
And that's me being kind!
 
Ris will sometimes forget
The lounge, this ain't it
So she drops words
That shouldn't be heard
And I do it some, I admit!
 
If he whips out his schlong,
that would be wrong.
a scream from the girl,
I would just hurl.
Hope my wait isn't long.
 
imisspopcorn said:
Praise from farm, no way.
He's got nothing to say.
He's acting like a louse.
Cuz the girls rock the limerick house.
We are here to stay!
Click to expand...

See, before I gave you props
But I guess I'll have to stop
Yer acting loopy
and though yer cute as droopy
This house I'm about to ROCK!
 
Fen is going to town
with a man who's draw bridge is down
He must not feel the cool breeze
Examine your Zipper please
Fen needs to give him a big frown
 
The girls are looking fine
But they fail to rhyme
It's this and that
Nothing's phat
Maybe they'll catch up in time.
 
The CF ladies may be hot,
but their limericks are not.
The boys' rhymes just look,
they're off the hook!
We have talent the ladies don't got.
 
Crappin' on a train,
or a bus or a plane?
Which is worse?
The train of course.
Hope my tummy stays sane.
 
I'm surprised you even rhyme
Though it did take you some time
Snot? Please
We'll win this with ease
Your limericks should be a crime.
 
War of the words,
with girls who are nerds.
The boys are cool,
best genes in the pool.
Just don't sniff our terds.
 
The boys just stammer
Cause we hit them with a limerick hammer
Back up boys
Your just our toys
We're gonna lock you up in the slammer.
 
Farm and Fen on fire,
leaving the chicks in a mire.
We rhyme with ease,
the ladies? Oh please.
Their poems are dire.
 

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