Recently 2 of my friends (also coworkers) have started ignoring me.
I think it started when I said that i was not going to Japan with them (due to a crohn‘s flare-up, which I have struggled with for the last 3years (went from bad to worse)
I tried explaining that if i went with them , i simply did not have energy to keep up with them and i would hold them back (3 days in Paris with constant use of the metro was a disaster, and the 4 days of constant rest after was not enough to “ recover”).
Last year we went shopping in another city nearby and I was just exhausted from walking/ talking etc. They were not very understanding, i felt bad enough but they were clearly irritated at me.
Sinds then 1 Friend (A) has gotten indifferent towards me.
All communications depend on me, she is very short in her responds (i get a short vague answer (or just a shrug) and someone else gets a whole story).
When i put something in the group chat she never replies.
Friend (B) is superficially friendly, but same as (A) also gives short responses and acts vague.
Also with her all communications depend on me, with texting she sometimes replies.
Sometimes i walk in the office when they are talking and it just gets QUIET.
When i ask if they have anything planned for the weekend they don’t really respond, just a shrug or they don’t know yet.
Recently i found out that friend A and B (coworker (C)) go out for dinner, city trips, have game nights, and just meet-up.
I found out because another coworker asked how their city trip was (on friday they told me they had no plans) (coworker that asked worked on tuesday so it was already planned).
On another day i walked in on A, B and C looking at restaurants, i watched and said something about the menu, they responded a bit but never asked if i wanted to go with them ( not that i would/could go but i would have been nice to atleast feel somewhat included)
This has apperently been going on for 3 months (that i know of atleast)
I don’t mind that they meet up and all that but i wish that they would not hide it from me.
Like, they could just say that they are going somewhere and tell me about it later or show pictures or something.
But i am the only one that it is held a secret from.
Sometimes other coworkers ask me how things was because they think i went with them but in reality i did not even know that they went somewhere.
I was told bij another coworker: “ i think its so fun that you three meet up so often and go on trips together” like…. damn.
At this moment A and B are in Japan for 20 days. (1 week in).
I have seen a total of 0 pictures despite asking if they went somewhere/seen something fun.
B has sent 2 short texts back in the group chat and from A i have not heard anything.
C gets pictures everyday from food, to activities etc.
I have tried showing more interest in their lives but i feel like i am talking to a wall.
There is nothing going on in my life other than working or resting so i don’t have that much to talk about other than tv shows (they don’t watch).
It feels like i am walking on eggshels at work, they prettymuch avoid talking/ responding to me.
coworker C that they hangout with is nice to my face but talks shit about me when i am not there.
All of this is just giving me more stress and anxiety i don’t need.
info:
Friend A : is a friend of 12 years.
Friend B: i have known her for 8 years, friends for 6 years.
Friend A had encouraged us to come work at her job. B started 1 month before me.
I have worked at the company for +/- 9 months.
the friendship i had with them was more of a happy fun one, we did not meet up very often but when we did we would go to a city and spend the day shopping, eating and talking. We barely talked about ”serious stuff” especially A would avoid serious topics like health. If i did talk about my crohn’s she never had much of a reaction.
sometimes she was annoyed if i called in sick (at school).
I think it started when I said that i was not going to Japan with them (due to a crohn‘s flare-up, which I have struggled with for the last 3years (went from bad to worse)
I tried explaining that if i went with them , i simply did not have energy to keep up with them and i would hold them back (3 days in Paris with constant use of the metro was a disaster, and the 4 days of constant rest after was not enough to “ recover”).
Last year we went shopping in another city nearby and I was just exhausted from walking/ talking etc. They were not very understanding, i felt bad enough but they were clearly irritated at me.
Sinds then 1 Friend (A) has gotten indifferent towards me.
All communications depend on me, she is very short in her responds (i get a short vague answer (or just a shrug) and someone else gets a whole story).
When i put something in the group chat she never replies.
Friend (B) is superficially friendly, but same as (A) also gives short responses and acts vague.
Also with her all communications depend on me, with texting she sometimes replies.
Sometimes i walk in the office when they are talking and it just gets QUIET.
When i ask if they have anything planned for the weekend they don’t really respond, just a shrug or they don’t know yet.
Recently i found out that friend A and B (coworker (C)) go out for dinner, city trips, have game nights, and just meet-up.
I found out because another coworker asked how their city trip was (on friday they told me they had no plans) (coworker that asked worked on tuesday so it was already planned).
On another day i walked in on A, B and C looking at restaurants, i watched and said something about the menu, they responded a bit but never asked if i wanted to go with them ( not that i would/could go but i would have been nice to atleast feel somewhat included)
This has apperently been going on for 3 months (that i know of atleast)
I don’t mind that they meet up and all that but i wish that they would not hide it from me.
Like, they could just say that they are going somewhere and tell me about it later or show pictures or something.
But i am the only one that it is held a secret from.
Sometimes other coworkers ask me how things was because they think i went with them but in reality i did not even know that they went somewhere.
I was told bij another coworker: “ i think its so fun that you three meet up so often and go on trips together” like…. damn.
At this moment A and B are in Japan for 20 days. (1 week in).
I have seen a total of 0 pictures despite asking if they went somewhere/seen something fun.
B has sent 2 short texts back in the group chat and from A i have not heard anything.
C gets pictures everyday from food, to activities etc.
I have tried showing more interest in their lives but i feel like i am talking to a wall.
There is nothing going on in my life other than working or resting so i don’t have that much to talk about other than tv shows (they don’t watch).
It feels like i am walking on eggshels at work, they prettymuch avoid talking/ responding to me.
coworker C that they hangout with is nice to my face but talks shit about me when i am not there.
All of this is just giving me more stress and anxiety i don’t need.
info:
Friend A : is a friend of 12 years.
Friend B: i have known her for 8 years, friends for 6 years.
Friend A had encouraged us to come work at her job. B started 1 month before me.
I have worked at the company for +/- 9 months.
the friendship i had with them was more of a happy fun one, we did not meet up very often but when we did we would go to a city and spend the day shopping, eating and talking. We barely talked about ”serious stuff” especially A would avoid serious topics like health. If i did talk about my crohn’s she never had much of a reaction.
sometimes she was annoyed if i called in sick (at school).
