You know, I've been here for years, and still it amazes me that I can compose a reply, and it reads perfectly fine in my head; and conveys exactly what I intended without the most remote possibility of being mis-interpreted.... then I re-read it, and realize that it can (and sometimes is) taken in a totally different way. So, let me try again (and, a caution. I can be extremely long winded and obtuse all the while without realizing it one iota)....
First off, some important items NEED to be clarified. I was trying to explain how I can be sufficiently dense enough to insert my foot in my mouth... to the point, I had no intent in using the Russian Roulette term to denigrate anyones choice of medications. I've said this before, in other posts... but it needs re-stating/re-freshing. If you are on a drug, a diet, a regimen, whatever.. that is stopping your disease in its tracks, stick with it. For the love of whatever you hold holy, don't rock the boat. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Can I use any more cliches? Yes, I personally believe that LDN is a safe choice, but it isn't the only choice. There are risks. Here is the biggest one to always remember. LDN is NOT 100% successful. If you've got something that is working, whatever it is, then I say kudos... congrats. Don't jump ship because there are some folks for whom LDN just doesn't work. Crohns is a vicious disease, it is very unforgiving of mistakes.
Now, back to my main faux pas. Russian Roulette. My previous post was a misfired attempt to put my mindset behind using that term so causually (without pre-thinking) into perspective. Allow me to take another crack at it. Anyone recall life pre-Crohns???
I do. Anyone recall the story "Alice in Wonderland"? How bizarre Alices experiences were on the other side of the looking glass? Well, I can relate. I call it Kev in Crohnie Land. I remember laying on the operating table, while the anestesiologist I'd just met was going over my options. Bear with me folks, OK? First was general... then he trotted out the disclaimers.. the warnings... the last one (I dunno why they always save the best for last) being that I would go to sleep and just never wake up. Wait a minute! Back the truck up!! You see, I'd never anticipated having a serious conversation about going to sleep and never waking up pre-Crohns. Then he went into epidural... and he called it the cadilac of options... Where are the Volvos? They're safer. But I digress. And his caveat about the epidural option was that... and he gave me the exact odds/chances.. which I can't recall... was that I might end up paralyzed from the injection site down... forever... Ok, now choose!
If anyone thinks I'm making up this surreal episode of Kev in Crohnie Land, I swear to you I'm not. That is one of the aspects of this disease. Life becomes very surreal. I did make a choice. Opted for the general. Why? I decided I'd rather be dead than paralyzed with Crohns... just couldn't picture dealing with having to rely on someone else whenever I had to go, and go, and go. You know what I mean? Now, there, I probably have unintentionally insulted the paraplegic crohnies out there. No insult intended, just knew I personally couldn't cope. Anyway, pressing on. Over the years, and the drugs I've had to take... you get to a point where you become ... desensitized (sp?) to ALL the warnings, caveats, disclaimers. To the point where they begin to slip under the radar. But, then again, we are in Crohnie Land. We all are. And the choices available to us leave a lot to be desired. And the associated risks are often downplayed. To the Nth degree. Like, 1 chance in 10,000.. or 1 in 100,000... or even 250,000. But look at how many of us there are. Then take a hard long look at what those odds are relating to.
No, I was wrong (thoughtless) to use the phrase Russian Roulette. And I apologize. Now let me use a different phrase. And I think this one is appropriate, considering everything.
Let us call it a crap shoot. OK? OK