Melodramatic post ahead

[LondonSnow]

I have PSC and I've known for a couple of months now. Basically, about a decade from now my liver's gonna be pooped. If I'm lucky enough to get a transplant, I'll be lucky to get another decade out of it.

I'm finding it harder and harder and ever harder to fucking deal with it and I can't vent to anyone about this because nobody else knows about this. I don't even know what to say to you guys, just rage posting. Beats punching a wall.

I though I was okay with it at first... shorter life span. So what, right? Life's not a contest to see who can live the longest, I told myself as long as I packed those years full of living life to the limit then the chronology of it would mean balls all.

Slowly coming to realise I simply can't. Most of it's monetary; I want to see places and do things but I just can't afford to. I'll never be able to. It'll take years of saving up just to spend a year traveling and exploring.

But I'll also never be able to get myself into a relationship out of guilt. I can't bring myself to misrepresent myself as someone who's going to be there as long as they will, but neither will I walk around with a shirt telling everyone my life's story. Who the hell's going to want someone who probably won't be there in their forties? Not to mention someone who'll refuse to damn a child with their probably faulty genes?

Then there's the feeling of uselessness... wasted potential. I wasted away so much of my time at school as a kid when I was always being told I had all I needed to contribute back to the world but I just never did anything. My life's a story of short-lived ideas and abandoned projects. It's a sodding cliche, but I can't go as silently as I arrived.

 

[Trysha]

LondonSnow----hello
Very sorry to hear of your anguish and the problems of dealing with your diagnosis.
I think we all would have similar feelings with such a diagnosis.
There is a Forum Wiki about Sclerosing Cholangitis giving good information about the condition.
Also Toronto Guy who has posted on the forum has a similar diagnosis and perhaps you could exchange viewpoints.
There is always hope and maybe just down the road there may be some help for it,researchers never stand still.
I feel your pain and really hope there will be a solution to it all.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha
Click on the underlined blue words and it will give you the info.

 

[D Bergy]

It really sucks getting such a depressing diagnosis. It would hit anyone like a sack of bricks.

I have heard of this liver condition before, but all I remember about it was the use of Alpha Lipoic Acid to treat it. I think Dr. Burt Berkson in the U.S. has successfully treated this condition. I know you are in the UK but you might want to do a little research concerning Dr. Berksons methods.

Don't let the disease define your life. You may end up doing better than you are expecting.

Dan

 

[Ya noy]

Don't know what I can possibly say other than I am so sorry.


((((((HUGS!))))))