So I've had Crohn's disease for about 3 years and it ruined my life plans. My whole life I have wanted to be in the military but Crohn's prevents this so there is no hope in joining. Lately I've been very depressed about this and I haven't felt like myself at all. I feel unhappy a lot and feel worthless because I can't serve my country. I don't find the good in myself at all. I have good qualities that anyone would want (not bragging) but I can't look at anything positively. I have one more year of high school and it's really hitting me now that I'm not going to down the path I wanted to. It's hard for me because I can't get over this, nobody understands how bad I feel, and it sucks seeing my friends and classmates applying to the military academies and setting their goals, and I can't join them because of a stupid illness that I have no control of. I'm not excited about my future and feel like I won't have fun in college and so on. And to top it off, I have other stuff I'm dealing with and I'm starting to get mild symptoms for the first time since I was diagnosed and I hope I don't relapse. Does anyone know what I mean or has had a similar experience? And I don't mean to sound "oh poor me", I just wanted to rant because I feel like this is a good place to do it.
Military dreams
- Thread starter Golfer
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I understand about not having life go the way you planned or thought it was. Are you sure the military is not an option? Crohn's can go into remission, or be mild, so it's not definite that you will always be too sick to join, even if you are at the moment. I believe I've read threads on this forum from others with Crohn's who have been in the military.
If you can't, are there any jobs you could do that are less physically demanding? There must be other ways you can serve your country. Crohn's can mean you're not able to do everything a healthy person can, but it in no way means you can't have a full, happy and successful life. What else are you interested in? What are you able to do despite having Crohn's? Every time you find yourself thinking about what you can't do, try to put your mind to what you can do instead, and be careful you're not ruling things out prematurely. It's worth thinking about whether more things may be possible if you can make a few adjustments. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it may even be that your experiences with Crohn's makes you more equipped to deal with other problems in the future. I'm sure there are many worthwhile life goals you can set yourself and still achieve.
If you can't, are there any jobs you could do that are less physically demanding? There must be other ways you can serve your country. Crohn's can mean you're not able to do everything a healthy person can, but it in no way means you can't have a full, happy and successful life. What else are you interested in? What are you able to do despite having Crohn's? Every time you find yourself thinking about what you can't do, try to put your mind to what you can do instead, and be careful you're not ruling things out prematurely. It's worth thinking about whether more things may be possible if you can make a few adjustments. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it may even be that your experiences with Crohn's makes you more equipped to deal with other problems in the future. I'm sure there are many worthwhile life goals you can set yourself and still achieve.
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I can understand how you feel, but this might not be the end of the road. Even if you cant do it right now, you may be able to if you get a good period of remission. Im sure I've seen threads on here from others who want to be in, or are in , the military.
For as long as i can remember its been my ambition to become a children's nurse. I worked for years to get into university, did well in my exams and at college, then had to take a year out for a jaw operation that i still havent had. I finally got to university in september last year, within a month I went badly down hill and couldnt stay at uni. My university were very understanding and gave me time-out with another place for this september, but we still arent 100% about if i can or should take it. Its a fair distance from home and last year it was a nightmare being in hospital miles away from family. Currently I'm waiting on accommodation, if the fees are too high I wont be able to go back and will have to think of something else as i'm already in debt from last year and have medication costs to consider. Perscriptions in Wales are free, in England, where my uni is, they arent and because of my coeliac I rely on perscriptions to eat.
So i do understand how frustrating it is when your health gets in the way of what we want to do with our lives, and im sure there are a lot of others here who do too. You arent alone with this. I know it will be hugely disappointing if you can't join up, but there are plenty of other ways to serve your country that can be just as important, even if some of them are smaller. You could volunteer with children and young people that are affected by illness and disability, or adults that are facing hardship, you could train as a teacher, a health care worker, anything and everything. This doesnt have to mean you cant make a difference, just that you might need to find another way to do it.
For as long as i can remember its been my ambition to become a children's nurse. I worked for years to get into university, did well in my exams and at college, then had to take a year out for a jaw operation that i still havent had. I finally got to university in september last year, within a month I went badly down hill and couldnt stay at uni. My university were very understanding and gave me time-out with another place for this september, but we still arent 100% about if i can or should take it. Its a fair distance from home and last year it was a nightmare being in hospital miles away from family. Currently I'm waiting on accommodation, if the fees are too high I wont be able to go back and will have to think of something else as i'm already in debt from last year and have medication costs to consider. Perscriptions in Wales are free, in England, where my uni is, they arent and because of my coeliac I rely on perscriptions to eat.
So i do understand how frustrating it is when your health gets in the way of what we want to do with our lives, and im sure there are a lot of others here who do too. You arent alone with this. I know it will be hugely disappointing if you can't join up, but there are plenty of other ways to serve your country that can be just as important, even if some of them are smaller. You could volunteer with children and young people that are affected by illness and disability, or adults that are facing hardship, you could train as a teacher, a health care worker, anything and everything. This doesnt have to mean you cant make a difference, just that you might need to find another way to do it.
I'm 99.99% sure I'm not eligible. I've looked it up and it says on the military academies' websites that there are no exceptions, and I'm on IV medication so there's no reason for them to accomodate me. Even if they did take me, I would probably be put in a desk job which is worse than not joining at all. It's frustrating because I haven't really had symptoms and even my mild ones don't get in the way. I can exercise and pass their PT requirements and I don't feel like anything's hindering me. It's very frustrating. I've decided I will probably try to major in engineering so I'm trying to feel excited but it hasn't been of much use.
Have you considered other jobs where you can still serve your Country via serving the communities? Having Crohns' does NOT preclude you from becoming a police officer, firefighter, or pretty much anything in those associated fields.....even being on IV medication (are you on Remicade?)....
Although it is good to have focus while still young, it is important to also have some flexibility - and like someone else said, don't think of it as what you cannot do, think more of what you CAN do and go from there.....soooooo many people have gone through many jobs before finding 'the one' - I myself have worked everything from on horse farms to auto parts to becoming a Fire Protection Specialist working for Homeland Security in my state.....
Oh - what field did you want to get into in the armed forces? Look at what is out there in private sector in the same field where you can still make a difference.....
Golfer, I know exactly how you feel. I always wanted to join the army and was in the process of joining and going to officer training when I first became ill and was diagnosed. It took me awhile to get used to this. But as dawn follows dusk I did. I still wonder what might have happened, but I am now a member of HM Diplomatic Service and have served overseas in various roles (including in post conflict environments.) In short, this door maybe closed but there are always other options, ones you might not have thought of yet.
Good luck and take care.
Good luck and take care.
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This disease wouldn't stop you to go to university/college to become an engineer, not sure why you couldn't at least try and apply military since you could do just as well through them. Don't get disappointed, there are always other options, and you're still very young with a long life ahead of you. And people change so much through the years that you may not even want this in 10years time. It's hard not to follow friends, but new ones do come along and you have to live "your" life. Just stay positive and good things will happen 
Thanks for the replies so far. I'm not worried that I won't make a difference in life or that I won't be able to help others because I have done plenty of community service and I help kids today and I do get some satisfaction from that but it's obviously not the same. In my eyes, nothing really compares to being in the military. It has a lot that I want: challenges, physical fitness, honor, responsibility, and even if I didn't make a career out of it, it would still mean a lot to know that I had done my duty. It just sucks not knowing what could have been or what path it would take me down. Sure I could've changed plans and decided not to go that route and may have wondered what if but it when you can't join because you're handicapped (I see it this way), then that doesn't feel good no matter what. I am religious so I know this is God's plan but I'm having a hard time accepting it because I feel robbed somewhat from my dream.
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Why is a desk job worse than not joining at all? Many "desks jobs" are absolutely vital for the protection of your country and countless other things.
I know how hard it is to lose your physical fitness. Besides Crohn's I have a progressive neurological disease. I am already dependent on my parents to care for me. When I was a kid I loved the outdoors - I loved camping and riding my horses. I ran cross country at school.
Now I make the best of what I've got. I can't go hiking or camping or spend all day out in all weathers with horses anymore. Instead I have a dog who I love more than I loved my horses. We go out in the countryside and wander slowly round.
My only desire in life was to have children. Well I can't do that. I'm infertile and my severe disability means I could never be approved for adoption. There are more alternatives to a military career than there are to having children. Children are not everybody's aim in life, but if they happen to be yours then nothing else compares. It is in no way the same, but I love my nephew and my dog instead. It's my only option. I know how hard it is to accept you can't do the things you want in life. I know how it feels when the only thing you ever wanted isn't possible and you feel like a failure. I've also learned that making the best of what you've got is a million times better than dwelling on what you can't have.
I know it's not at all easy, coming to terms with my situation and recognising the joy I could have watching my nephew grow and loving my dog was not something I consciously chose. In some ways I feel lucky that acceptance did eventually come to me, though there are still times I feel very bitter. But if you give yourself time and try to find as many alternatives to a military career as you can it is possible that with time you may come to accept your situation, even if it's in no way what you hoped for.
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You don't say where you are from but in Canada you would still be able to serve your country by joining the cadet instructor cadre. I was a commissioned officer inthe Canadian forces where I worked with the sea cadets aged 12 to 18. This was a part time job but very rewarding. Learnt lots and helped me to be able to talk in public and have more confidence. I believe there is the same program in the states but not sure what it is called. We even had to attend training camps which to say the least were interesting.
Im a marine who was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colits shortly after completing my training. In brief the training environment of the marine corps is not hospitable to those with IBD. You dont get to go to the bathroom when you want, you dont get to take your meds when you want and the stress of training heightens your flare ups. I talked to a sgt who also has UC and hes working on getting medically discharge. Technically UC doesnt allow you to be deployed, but he was tight with his corpsmen and got the approval to go. Fortunately he got through his deployment but afterwards suffered the consequences. More frequent and intense flare ups, being on prednisone for over a year gave him arthritis in his knees and ankles from carrying 100lbs packs. Long term health effects. In his opinion he suggested I try to get medically discharged. For me if I cant deploy, or if deployment causes me to be medically evacuated in the middle of combat or the effects of deployment have permanent health effects then its time to find a different arena of service. Our bodies prevent us from being 100% combat ready and we do nobody a service by pretending we are. I was accepted into a 12month ministry leadership internship and have been looking at being a missionary. You being young, a man of faith and looking for a way to serve what better way to go? Ive looked into it and if you go to more developed countries ulcerative colitis or crohns is not an issue.
