Need to vent

[teeny5]

I haven't been on much lately so I apologize for my biggest contribution being negative...but I just need to vent today.

I am so sick of not feeling good. I really try to stay positive, but I am tired of having pain. I am tired of not sleeping well. I am tired of the night sweats. I hate that I look forward to a day off from work so I can sleep all day if I choose. What kind of a day off is that? I hate not being able to eat a hamburger...or at least being afraid of what it will do to me if I do eat it. I am tired of being exhausted day after day. Even if I take it easy at work it seems just being up and out all day is making me tired. I am tired of my butt hurting. Can't I just have a normal poop! I feel like every time I go is an event and when you go multiple times a day that totally sucks. I am tired of being angry with people for not understanding what I am going through....really I am tired of people not knowing what I am going through. I guess I am just tired of grinning and bearing it and that if I tell them how I am feeling they look at me like I am over dramatizing the whole thing. Or they discount it by saying "my stomach has been bothering me too today." I doubt it is the same thing. I try to let it go, but sometimes you just need someone to understand what you are going through. I guess I am just worn out. This disease takes its toll on me. I know I don't have it the worst, but still it has changed my life. It is a big fat pain in my ass!

Thanks for letting me let it all out today.

 

[Sojourn]

Or they discount it by saying "my stomach has been bothering me too today."

Everybody seems to think they understand stomach problems, yet, they have no idea in our case.

Hope you have a good weekend and get to do something other than sleeping, though, I know sometimes that's the best choice.

You may find this video something you can relate to or may have already seen it. Just to know that you're not alone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVIDnXizvak

 

[kello82]

blah teeny i feel ya.
i think that all the time "cant i just have a normal poop?!"
its a natural body function yet for us it is hell. come on.
i know that the days of the week make not much difference though when it comes to feeling crappy, the tummy doesnt care!
but i hope that you might have a restful weekend too.
*hugs*

 

[MINI Cooper]

Sometimes the frustration of people not understanding is worse
than the physical pain, which can be bad enough!
Hope you feel some relief soon, we still love ya! vent all you want!

 

[soupdragon69]

I had this conversation with a close friend last night..

I am trying to return to work and tomorrow go to 8hr shifts (so far have done a week of 4hr shifts and week of 6hr shifts). At one point during my last 6hr shift last Thurs I just wanted to lie down I felt so weak and drained but hid it by sitting on a stool and talking to a colleague who needed advice. Those who know me well keep telling me how exhausted I look and those who dont keep saying how well I look so I cant win! LOL

I see my occ health cons next wed and am pondering whether I tell her how much I am struggling and like you teeny its the exhaustion and not being able to do things most folk take for granted each day.

How DO you explain that to someone who has never experienced it? Glad you felt you could come and tell us how you feel.

We do totally understand and my heart goes out to you at this time ((hugs)).

Hope you are feeling a bit better this weekend in some small way.

 

[bruscar]

I know eXactly where you are coming from. I always meet people and they say "Whats wrong with you" and then my ileostomy relieves itself of a little wind so i just tell them oops that must have been my "BAG" ........Some people know what you mean but quite a few don't. So i then tell them just a little to let them understand.

I do know exactly what you are going through.

Be well

Bruscar

 

[teeny5]

Thanks everyone. I am so grateful for you guys and your support. It really helps me to let it all out. I had to work today...just tried to get through the day. But, now I am finally home to relax with my husband.

 

[teeny5]

Ok so I know I am not the only one who is tired. I have been so exhausted these last two weeks. I don't know what is up. My symptoms have been pretty good, but I just am soooooo tired. Anyway, so I hate telling people even that because they are like "oh you should take a nap"...duh! I have done that, I do that everyday and get 7 hours of sleep at night. Still doing anything a little bit more than normal just totally zaps all my energy. I know I look a lot better, but still I don't feel 100%. I don't know if I ever will. It just bugs me that it is like people forget that I have the disease. Like it was just a cold that I got over. I don't know, just being grouchy about it today I guess...