No Food

[vickyoddsocks]

Hi guys, its been aaaaaaaaages since ive been on here, mostly because ive been so well, ive just been getting on with my life (completed a half marathon in the summer!! So things have been really great.
But i feel as though i desperately need some help and support at the moment.
For those of you who dont know me (probably most now) Ive been on an elemental diet (Elemental 028Extra) since 1st June 2009!! Yes thats right 2009!!! That means no food, nothing, for 1 year and 7 months.
The first 6 months i did 100% strictly, i had NOTHING, just tea, coffee, and squash, untill christmas eve when i decided to let myself eat over the 3 days (xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day) which i did, not much mind, but after boxing day i went back on the diet and stayed on it ever since.
Like i mentioned my health was unbelievably well, apart from small ammounts of D everyday (due to the large ammounts of liquid i consumed), i can hand-on-heart say it was like i didnt have crohns! I even trained and completed a half marathon in september! I trained in 10 weeks, from never running in my life, to finishing the race non-stop in 2 and a half hours (after graduating that was the proudest moment of my life). I'd always had severe crohns disease, and had many problems with strictures, fistulas and abccesses from the age of 16 (im now 25).
Anyway, as xmas approached again i decided to let myself eat (stricture allowing - which had actually got worse unbeknown to me!) so again xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day, but its carried on. I hanvt stopped.
I'm definately noticing a HUGE difference in my health, and because im physically feeling ill, im mentally getting very down aswell. Mostly because im SO annoyed with myself that ive not been able to stop again, and ive got myself into this mess.
I stopped running over winter and i cant bring myself to go (not even for a small run) as i know i will be hugely dissapointed with my decrease in fitness!
The past few weeks (since xmas) ive been largely down and spent a lot of time upet and stressed out. I seem to be crying a heck of a lot, and ive been taking a lot of things out on my boyfriend (who has always been great around my food situation).
My job has been strssing me out a lot too - i work nights in a late night bar, so my usual shifts are from 8pm to 4am most nights, and im beginning to really hate it. And ive just moved house for the 3rd time in 3 months (which is another long story). But i can genuinely say that the worst thing is my eating again.
In comparison to how well ive been, food makes me feel SOO ill almost immediately after ive eaten it, but im really really struggling to stop eating!! And thats why im getting so annoyed with myself becasue my social life, work life, and relatonships are all suffering because i havnt got enough will power!!
To make the pressure even worse ive a holiday booked in under 3 weeks to australia, and i obviously need/want to be as well as possible! I would never forgive myself if i missed out on my first holiday in 9 years because of my greed.

I know this is a strange post, i just felt a bit stuck and really need some support to stop eating again. Ive had a miserable weekend, and upsetting evening thinking about it all, so im going to try my HARDEST to stop tomorrow!
I have a busy day ahead of me; we have a staff day out including going to an outdoor assault course, now becasue ive been eating my D is incredibly bad so i dont want to go to put myself through it and risk an accident. I also mentally have lost the motivation to do anything, and dont feel like i want to go ATALL
I'm sorry about the length and shoddy grammer of this post! lol!
Vicky
x

 

[littlemissh]

I thought it was bad enough going for 2 and a half months no food. I was put on phased reintroduction of food just before xmas. I found that 2 things helped me not eat. one was knowing how much better I felt without food. The other was distraction. Try to just go for a walk instead of a run when you feel like eating, I got some dvd's and came on here to distract also. Whether this will help you I don't know.

I know how you feel about the holiday. we had to cancel a trip to orlando last year because of me ,my children were gutted as it was the week of the trip that we cancelled. We rebooked and are due to go in 7 weeks...so praying that the aza I started 7 days ago works..

 

[happy]

Hi Vicky,
Oh dear- stop beating yourself up. We are human-we are meant to eat food. Food is so much a part of our culture-especially during the holidays.

I have only been on an elemental diet for 6 weeks- so I don't now what you have been through- not eating for as long as you did.

Have you been to Dr. John Hunter's website or read his book on treating IBD with an elemental diet? Try googling his name with Crohn's organizations in the U.K. From what I have learned from his book, the website, another book, Beating Crohn's and reading research articles, it is not surprising that you relapsed after eating. From what I understand, the remission that a person gets from going on an elemental diet is from the change that occurs in the intestinal flora- the bacteria. It takes awhile for this to occur. And when a person returns to eating the flora changes again because it now has the food to feed on.

What needs to happen is a transition period where a person discovers what foods their intestines can tolerate and what foods cause the problems. The resources I listed describe several ways to return to eating, but each of them are done very slowly by gradually adding different foods to your diet while still taking the elemental diet. Then you gradually reduce the elemental diet as you are eating enough food in a balanced diet. Whenever symptoms start, you go back on the elemental diet for a short while.

Some of the studies suggest supplementing the food diet with some elemental diet to stay in remission.

Perhaps adding back the elemental diet while you are still eating food will help you to get well enough to be able to travel. If you just can't do it any more, perhaps supplementing with tube feeding the elemental diet at night will help.

Have you got a doctor or a dietician who is wiling to work with you to help you through this? You are not weak, greedy or lazy. You have worked very hard for a long time to get yourself well. You just want to feel normal for awhile instead of living with this difficult chronic disease.

I hope that you feel better really soon and that you are able to go and enjoy your trip.