No support

[crohnie 3]

Hi everybody! well today was a bad day. My kids returned home from a visit at their grandmother's house (my mother in law) and they were upset and crying because their own grandmother was verbally bashing their mother. She and my sister in law told my kids that i was a fake and i just wanted attention and that i 'm not really sick. I'm so sick of these negative comments especially around my kids. Am i the only one dealing with rude family members like this? does anyone else have to deal with this kind of pain? I feel so lonely

 

[mccindy]

You aren't alone. My SIL says that I'm faking my medical conditions and talks behind my back all the time. My MIL used to be like that but she stopped this year when I was diagnosed with brain cancer. The SIL still badmouths me and accuses of looking for drama. She tells her own kids bad things about the rest of the family and then wonders why her kids don't want to have anything to do with all of us!
My BIL doesn't say anything bad, he jus doesn't believe that people have things wrong with them and so he won't talk about any of it. That's at least easier to deal with than the verbal bashing.

Hang in there, you aren't alone. Many of us out here deal with the same stuff. Just come on out and vent!

 

[fishylove]

I know how lonely it gets. Before I was diagnosed my family thought I was just being a drama queen, picky eater, anorexic, etc... just makin stuff up for attention. They didn't support me, because they didn't think anything was wrong. After my first appt with a GI who said its either celiac or Crohns, my family started taking me seriously. After this appt my mom started crying, and I was honestly happy. I know it's bad but I was glad she was finally realizing something was wrong.
Now everything seems ok with my parents, but I dont think my sister really understands it. When I am in a flare she is just really annoyed and distant and is always trying to bring me down and make me feel bad and dirty for my disease.
The people closest to us are supposed to be the ones comforting and supporting us through hard times, but they won't believe us until we have proven how sick we are(in the hospital, another diagnosis...)
Hopefully there are some people in your life that love you and support you through your disease

 

[YJ120]

Hi,

Wow this really shocks me and is absolutely awful. Really hope you're ok, it must be very hard for you to deal with. Especially with them saying this to your children. People can be really nasty and thoughtless! Could your husband not speak to them about it?

I am lucky and have very supportive people around me, but even with that no one truly understands the extent of this disease. That's why I find this forum really useful.

Sorry I can't help much, but I'm sending my support your way.

Yvette x

 

[Myhappyplace]

Wow! That stinks so much. It's one thing to say this to you, but totally another to say it to your kids. I hope your husband is supportive enough to address this. I've dealt with comments like this from (people I thought were) friends, but family is much more hurtful. Do you have pics from your scopes that you can email them? That's always good for shutting people up! I'm so sorry for the pain of this. We're in enough pain - we don't need more from the people we should be able to count on for support!

 

[crohnie 3]

Hey Guys! wow thanks so much for the replies. So sorry to hear some of yous are going through this as well My husband is very supportive but he feels stuck in the middle all the time. The sad part of all this is that my mother in law and sister in law were there when i had surgery in August. I had 19 inches of my colon removed and was in a lot of pain. I'm already flaring up 3 months after surgery and it's really bumming me out but what bums me out more is them talking about me to my children. If only they knew what we go through every single day but thanks again! It feels so nice to know i can come on here anytime for support

 

[yellowamc]

wow im so sry that you are being treated bad, I cant imagine how that feels. Pease keep ur chin up tho that's the only thing that helps. And I hope you start to feel better.

 

[mccindy]

My husband is very supportive but he feels stuck in the middle all the time.

I hate to say it, but in a case like this, he needs to step up and defend you. Badmouthing you in front of (and directly to) your children is inexcusable, and you deserve the support. You've had surgery for this condition and are suffering from pain, so they have the evidence right in front of them that you have a legitimate medical condition. He needs to have a frank discussion with his family and let them know that, while they are entitled to their own private opinions, he will not tolerate the involvement of your children in their discussions. You can't change their minds, but you can change how it affects or involves your own children. There is nothing so harmful as betrayal by family.