Hello all, I'm new here and thought I'd give socializing a try. I'm a pretty shy and private person IRL and aside from my career and my kids I don't really interact much with anyone...other than doctors and nurses anyway.
For some background, I've been a very healthy person all my life. Very strong immune system and rarely ever sick. Never had been hospitalized for anything other than when I gave birth to my children. Hesitant to take a Tylenol. About 9 years ago I started noticing blood in my stools. I blew it off for a while and chalked it up to probable hemorrhoids or something equally benign, but the hypochondriac in me couldn't let it go. I finally broke down and told my GP and she ordered me to get a colonoscopy. I was 25 at the time and had just lost my dad to pancreatic cancer, so when they called on a Friday afternoon and left a message that they needed to speak to me I immediately started thinking the worst. Finally on Monday morning I was able to get a hold of someone who informed me they found ileitis. I was referred to a GI, however I was having no other symptoms. No pain, no weird bowel habits, nothing. I had crappy insurance and wasn't keen on the idea of taking what I viewed as "unnecessary" medications so I just let it go as something minor.
Fast forward about 6 years; a college degree, successful career, an engagement and the birth of my 4th child later, and the stomach pain began. It was never severe, but always constant. Every day, most of the day, my stomach would hurt. The blood was always coming and going but it got much more constant around this time. Then in October of 2014 after a great night with my fiance, a dine in movie and "desert" if you know what I mean I end up in a fetal position in the bed. My stomach was KILLING me. Like I was being stabbed in the stomach repeatedly. It lasted a couple hours before it finally died down enough for me to fall asleep from exhaustion. 2 more of these "episodes" in the coming months and the 3rd landed me in the ER on New Year's Eve. I was admitted to the hospital with a small bowel obstruction and at that time was told I likely had Crohn's. I was referred to my GI and after every test you could think of...another colonoscopy with biopsy, an upper GI and small bowel series, MRE with contrast, and tons of bloodwork I was officially diagnosed with Crohn's.
Throughout 2015 I had 11 flares, 8 required at least a hospital ER visit, 5 were determined to be partial small bowel obstructions, 2 landed me admitted in the hospital for a few days for partial obstruction and 1 total obstruction had me in the hospital a week over Easter with an NG tube and the works. After trying all kinds of med combinations my GI scoped me a 3rd time and determined that a portion of my small intestine (in the jejunum) was scarred/stricture and would never be able to be reversed. She referred me to a surgeon and my small bowel resection was scheduled for October. I was in the hospital 5 days and home from work for a week. 10 days post resection I had another partial obstruction which landed me an overnight stay in the hospital. At this point I am at my wits end thinking is nothing going to help? Is it hopeless? I'm on Remicade every 8wks since April, Azathioprine and Sulfasalzine. Had steroids intermittently and tried mercaptopurine and allopurinol as well without success.
Finally closing out 2015 it seemed like I was on the road to recovery. After the post-surgical blip I had gone just over 2 months without a flare which had been the longest amount of time in the last year. But lo and behold yesterday at work my stomach started gurgling. Making lots of sounds and progressively hurting throughout the day. I knew what was coming, that's always how it happens. It just progresses until I can't take the pain anymore, so I got to ring in 2016 the exact same way I got to ring in 2015, in the hospital. They did x-rays and thankfully said they didn't see an obstruction but still, it's like I can't catch a break.
I feel like my life will never be normal again. I will always have to worry that I'm going to flare. What if I'm at a work conference, or school, or somewhere alone with my kids? I blew through all my vacation time by September 2015 and had to take unpaid time for my surgery and other issues. I can't afford that. What if I have another complete obstruction and I have a perforation or some other life threatening issue? I'm just so discouraged right now. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do but it's not working. We've been wanting to have one more child but all my health issues have forced us to push it off. This disease has changed the course of my whole life. I had plans...I'm getting my Master's, I have so many career aspirations, and I wanted another child, but now it's like I can't make plans because I don't know what the future holds for me.
OH my gosh, I'm so sorry this is so long I've just been holding all this in for so long. No one really understands what I'm going through so I thank you for listening if you made it this far. I'm trying not to get depressed but it's hard. I just want my life back.
Nikki
For some background, I've been a very healthy person all my life. Very strong immune system and rarely ever sick. Never had been hospitalized for anything other than when I gave birth to my children. Hesitant to take a Tylenol. About 9 years ago I started noticing blood in my stools. I blew it off for a while and chalked it up to probable hemorrhoids or something equally benign, but the hypochondriac in me couldn't let it go. I finally broke down and told my GP and she ordered me to get a colonoscopy. I was 25 at the time and had just lost my dad to pancreatic cancer, so when they called on a Friday afternoon and left a message that they needed to speak to me I immediately started thinking the worst. Finally on Monday morning I was able to get a hold of someone who informed me they found ileitis. I was referred to a GI, however I was having no other symptoms. No pain, no weird bowel habits, nothing. I had crappy insurance and wasn't keen on the idea of taking what I viewed as "unnecessary" medications so I just let it go as something minor.
Fast forward about 6 years; a college degree, successful career, an engagement and the birth of my 4th child later, and the stomach pain began. It was never severe, but always constant. Every day, most of the day, my stomach would hurt. The blood was always coming and going but it got much more constant around this time. Then in October of 2014 after a great night with my fiance, a dine in movie and "desert" if you know what I mean I end up in a fetal position in the bed. My stomach was KILLING me. Like I was being stabbed in the stomach repeatedly. It lasted a couple hours before it finally died down enough for me to fall asleep from exhaustion. 2 more of these "episodes" in the coming months and the 3rd landed me in the ER on New Year's Eve. I was admitted to the hospital with a small bowel obstruction and at that time was told I likely had Crohn's. I was referred to my GI and after every test you could think of...another colonoscopy with biopsy, an upper GI and small bowel series, MRE with contrast, and tons of bloodwork I was officially diagnosed with Crohn's.
Throughout 2015 I had 11 flares, 8 required at least a hospital ER visit, 5 were determined to be partial small bowel obstructions, 2 landed me admitted in the hospital for a few days for partial obstruction and 1 total obstruction had me in the hospital a week over Easter with an NG tube and the works. After trying all kinds of med combinations my GI scoped me a 3rd time and determined that a portion of my small intestine (in the jejunum) was scarred/stricture and would never be able to be reversed. She referred me to a surgeon and my small bowel resection was scheduled for October. I was in the hospital 5 days and home from work for a week. 10 days post resection I had another partial obstruction which landed me an overnight stay in the hospital. At this point I am at my wits end thinking is nothing going to help? Is it hopeless? I'm on Remicade every 8wks since April, Azathioprine and Sulfasalzine. Had steroids intermittently and tried mercaptopurine and allopurinol as well without success.
Finally closing out 2015 it seemed like I was on the road to recovery. After the post-surgical blip I had gone just over 2 months without a flare which had been the longest amount of time in the last year. But lo and behold yesterday at work my stomach started gurgling. Making lots of sounds and progressively hurting throughout the day. I knew what was coming, that's always how it happens. It just progresses until I can't take the pain anymore, so I got to ring in 2016 the exact same way I got to ring in 2015, in the hospital. They did x-rays and thankfully said they didn't see an obstruction but still, it's like I can't catch a break.
I feel like my life will never be normal again. I will always have to worry that I'm going to flare. What if I'm at a work conference, or school, or somewhere alone with my kids? I blew through all my vacation time by September 2015 and had to take unpaid time for my surgery and other issues. I can't afford that. What if I have another complete obstruction and I have a perforation or some other life threatening issue? I'm just so discouraged right now. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do but it's not working. We've been wanting to have one more child but all my health issues have forced us to push it off. This disease has changed the course of my whole life. I had plans...I'm getting my Master's, I have so many career aspirations, and I wanted another child, but now it's like I can't make plans because I don't know what the future holds for me.
OH my gosh, I'm so sorry this is so long I've just been holding all this in for so long. No one really understands what I'm going through so I thank you for listening if you made it this far. I'm trying not to get depressed but it's hard. I just want my life back.
Nikki