Please help(abuse related)

[lookame]

Please help(abuse related)-ANOTHER UPDATE later in thread-

Thank you all for your support and help...he is finally hopefully getting the help and protection he deserves


So it turns out my ex's attorney got involved and told CPS to back off so they can finish the divorce. The case woker seemed like she was taking the abuse so seriously and now she has completly shut off won't answer or return phone calls or anything. It's so disheartening and to top it off my attorney and the guardian(the attorney for my son) told me that my son has to get SERIOUSLY hurt or die before anyone will look into the situation...I'm at my witts ends here. I'm grasping at straws. I told the police, I've told every attorney I told CPS and nothing...sweep it under the rug. :/

 

[EthanPSU]

What proof do you have of the child being "touched"? If it is only the child's, maybe you have a smart child and I have seen numerous custody cases where the child will say anything to be away from the parent he/she doesn't like. That is the main reason why the CPS doesn't take a child's testomony into account. Maybe you could request a lie-detector of some sort for your ex's girlfriend?

 

[lookame]

 

[Lisa]

Hopefully one of these can help you - remember a report can be made anonymously.....you need to think about your sons' welfare....and please, keep DOCUMENTING....

(if this was in NY I would do it for you - especially since I am a mandated reporter)...

Ohio Department of Job and Family Services
Toll-Free: 800-422-4453 (Childhelp)

OHIO: State Protective Services 1-614-466-9274

Report your suspicions to the public children service agency or law enforcement agency in the county in which the child lives or was abused.

Click here to find your county Public Children Services Agency

Don't know the county? Call:
Childhelp® USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD® (1-800-422-4453)
TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



What information do I need to make a report?

■The name and address of the child you suspect is being abused or neglected
■The age of the child
■The name and address of the parents or caretakers
■The name of the person you suspect is abusing or neglecting the child and the address if available
■The reason you suspect the child is being abuse and neglected
■Any other information which may be helpful to the investigation
■You have the option of giving your name or reporting anonymously. Giving your name can help the investigator clarify information. The agency will not give your name to the person suspected of abusing the child.
Please Note: All of the above information is not needed to make a report. If you are not sure you have enough information to report, always err on the safety of the child. Children services screens all reports to determine if there is enough information to investigate.

What happens after a report is made?

In Ohio, after a report is made,

■A child protective services investigator will interview the child, family members & others as deemed appropriate.
■The investigator determines if the child is being abused or is at risk for abuse.
■The case may be referred to local social service agencies, or to juvenile, family or criminal court.
What is a mandated reporter?

A mandated reporter is someone required by law to report if they suspect or know that child abuse if occurring. A list of mandated reporters for Ohio includes:

■Attorneys
■Audiologists
■Child care workers
■Children Services personnel
■Coroners
■Day care personnel
■Dentists
■Nurses
■Physicians including hospital interns and residents
■Podiatrists
■Psychiatrists
■School authorities, employees and teachers
■Social Workers
■Speech Pathologists
■Animal Control Officers/Agents

 

[Jer's Girl]

I was abused as a child and I was brave enough to tell an adult, like your son did. Even though my parents said they believed me, they did not help me at all. Even when the whole story came out to the whole family several years later, nothing was done and I was still forced to be around this individual. It made me feel worthless that no one cared about me enough to at least ask this person not to come to family functions, where I had to watch the younger kids like a hawk around him or separate myself from the group because I couldn’t stand to be around him. Please keep advocating for your son. Children don’t lie about this sort of stuff. Please don’t just drop this. Tell his counselor your suspicions and maybe he can help you.

Please don’t think that this will ruin his life. It didn’t ruin mine. In my case, the grownups I was trusting ignoring my pleas for help was much more detrimental to me than the actual abuse was. You have to fight for your son.

 

[DustyKat]

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your going through...:hug:...how very difficult and heartbreaking for you.

I'm sorry, I don't know your system over there but Paso has given fab advice. I can only reiterate to document everything...timelines (visitations), your son's behaviours, his responses to situations, things he tells you, keep all communications with your ex and so on. Nicole has wonderful advice too, knowing and doing nothing can be just as detrimental. I know you are and will continue to be a fab advocate for your son. Good luck hun, I hope more than anything you are able to find a resolution to this and soon.

Thinking of you, :heart:
Dusty. xxx

 

[Devynnsmom]

I am so sorry for what you and your son are going through. My best advice, is the advice already given.. document, document, document. Keep track of EVERYTHING, visits, behaviours, tantrums, dreams, and keep the print outs of his sicko gf's posts. I was abused as a child and didn't tell anyone. I was afraid because my abuser told me she (female babysitter) would hurt my younger sister and kill my parents. As a 6 year old child, that was enough to shut me up. Once I was old enough, I didn't want to tell anyone out of embarassment. But I also didn't want to hurt my parents.
PLEASE make the phone calls. Professionals are trained to talk to kids and know when they are telling the truth. I 110% agree with the previous posters, kids don't like about this kind of stuff. NOT at 5 years old. Good luck, and I hope you get this all resolved quickly. (((hugs)))

 

[lookame]

Thank you everyone for your concern and help.

 

[chrisnsteph1022]

Call the police and get a restraining order against the gf. If your ex wants to see his kid, he needs to do it safely and not put his innocent child in the hands of an abuser. This just sickens me. Your job is to protect that child. Get a restraining order. File charges. Let the police contact CPS and do an investigation. Stand up for your kid.

 

[EthanPSU]

Is that your ex in your profile picture?

 

[RAISINGMI]

What does his counselor say about this? Is the counselor aware? Has your son talked about it with her/him? Have you?

You really need to call CPS. If you believe your son, and you've said you do, then you need to get them involved. They need to investigate and you can't assume that they'll determine it's all made up.

Also, you said you're going through a divorce. So that means it's not final yet? Do you have temporary orders regarding parenting time? Have you talked to your attorney about your concerns and getting supervised visitation?

If I believed my soon-to-be-ex-husband's GF, or anybody, was abusing my child I would be moving heaven and earth to make sure they are not in a position to be alone with him ever again. Please call CPS! Keep us posted.

 

[dannysmom]

You MUST report his ASAP. Please follow the advice given.

 

[Jennifer]

I'd call CPS for sure and tell his counselor everything and file a restraining order against the GF and your ex. If your ex knows about it then they are just as guilty and just as disgusting as the woman who molests your son. I'd also speak with my lawyer about it ASAP.

 

[lookame]

hoping for the saftey of my child

 

[dannysmom]

I see you updated the original post with good news ... your son is getting help. Glad to hear this!!