Amen Chris. Though I am quite verbose as of late (and many times, what can I say :ytongue
, I am very aware of how much suffering goes on with each and every one of you.
I also want to post something good. Almost immediately after people responded here to my post, I had a lot more peace yesterday. I know it is the power of prayer. That isn't to say the tough times yesterday and today didn't continue, and I even know it will in one form or the other in the future, that is the nature of chronic illness, but I felt a peace and strength that wasn't there before. You are my angels on earth. That has helped carried me though.
I had my appointment with my cardiologist today, and Jane, I feel I especially need to tell you, I felt that my health care was being watched over by what you said. This is something that I have had negative experiences with in the past, way too many times (I've actually felt jinxed for lack of a better word). I felt like my health care was being taken in the direction it should this time! Like I mentioned on the Last One Wins thread, my meds for my heart racing was literally doubled, and although the doctor didn't scare me with what can happen in the future (I know only too well), he gently pointed out (as you all know I know), mine is a progressive disease and he wanted to see where it stands now (small easy test scheduled in November that should answer that.) He didn't white wash anything, but was gentle at the same time, and I could tell honestly cared. (Madhu, you might find it is interesting that he is from India too!)
Thanks to everyone here. My heart is full tonight, my health its more tolerable thanks to increase in meds, and I feel like I have direction, something I haven't felt in a long time.
My prayers will continue for those here too.