Scared, sad, and don't know what to do

[Darlin]

Hi everyone. I will try my best not to make this too long. I am mostly a lurker here. I think I only posted an introduction once. But I am struggling. In fact, I can't stop crying. I'm at work and still crying. I have dealt with the usual symptoms for 12 years and have hovered between IBS, and colitis. I got worse this summer and long story short I have be dx with crohn's colitis. I am not feeling well at all. I am tired, sad, and my bum always hurts. The pain is getting bad so doctor gave me perks for severe pain which I have not filled the prescription for yet. I am on Mesalomine (still learning about the meds) Doctor suggests going back on entocort but I'm too scared to. I am a married woman age 43. 2 teenage kids. I work full time and I am very involved in a variety of committees. I own several pets, I am a parrot breeder and provide education to the local humane societies in my limited spare time. Of course all of this is done while I am not on the toiletoo: So my full time job is very very stressful and busy right now. I have confided in a few of my colleagues and they are suggesting some time off work to rest and feel better physically and emotionally. I have excellent benefits and sick time yet, I'm afraid to give in to this disease. It's invisible. Who cares if I crap a lot!!!!! I'm not as sick as others. Geesh I just don't know what to do. I have over the years taken a couple of medical leaves - a couple were about a week and one was 4 months long. Although I have been to emerg a few times I have not been hospitalized. Am I over reacting? Am I being a big suck? Do I push through work no matter how bad I feel, or do I take a short break. I know you won't know the answers but would love feedback anyways! Oh and a big hug too ok?
Thanks for reading!

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

Hi Darlin, sorry to hear you're struggling. Why are you scared to go on Entocort? It's a very mild med, much milder than other steroids (such as prednisone). I was on Entocort for 7 months and it got me into remission. Mesalamine is a very mild medication too, it might be too mild to keep your illness in check.

It sounds like you're very stressed right now, and it might only make things worse if you try to push through it. Do what you can to relax and de-stress so that you can heal and get over this flare. You're not over-reacting, you have a serious illness that is affecting many aspects of your life. Although, as you said, others may have it worse than you, that doesn't mean that what you're dealing with is inconsequential. There's always someone dealing with something worse but that doesn't negate your pain! And just because this is an invisible illness doesn't mean it doesn't affect you in a major way!

I hope you're able to get through this and get some relief and feel better soon. Talk to your doctor, let him/her know what's going on and ask questions about your options for medications. Do something nice for yourself too, even if it's just taking a hot bath or calling in sick to work and catching up on your rest. Get those teenage kids to help out with the pets and the housework. And, it's okay to cry, even at work (I usually go into the bathroom stall when I cry at work so that my co-workers don't worry about me). Sending you lots of hugs and I hope things get better soon.

 

[Darlin]

Wow thank you Cat-a-tonic! I almost didn't send this post due to worrying about making a mountain out of a moe hill. I tend to push through and be tough as much as possible, and guess it caught up with me. Your words have brought a smile to my face! In fact, I think I will post more often. Seems like a good thing to share with others in the same boat even if we all have a slightly different journey! Looking forward to hearing from others

 

[Terriernut]

Darlin, please dont try to push through. Please get in to see your GI as soon as possible and be completely honest about where you are at physically and mentally. Entocourt is very mild, as is mesalazine. There are much stronger meds out there, and it may be that they will need to try them at a later date.

The reason I'm saying dont push through is, I did. So much so I ended up with a perforated sigmoid colon and an emergency operation to save my life. Crohns can progress if not treated. And the scaring etc that goes on is not pretty in there! All I could think while I was flat on my back in hospital was....why didnt I put ME first so I was ABLE to take care of everything else??? I assure you, it wont happen again. Health is the most important thing in the world, without it, you cant do a thing.

So, I am sending you hugs, and I'm sending you strength. But please, YOU first for a while. Take a week, take the meds, see the Dr.

Get well!!!! You DESERVE to be well!!
:ghug:

 

[chrisnsteph1022]

{{{{hugs}}}}}
I've had those days where I feel like I can't sit at my desk on a sore bum any longer. I've also never been hospitalized, but I've been damn miserable. I tend to push through the pain, but only because I know it CAN get a lot worse where I may need to miss time due to hospitalizations, surgeries, etc.