Sex life and crohns

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txr72

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sex life and crohns

I am new to this site and need some advice. i am a 35 yr old male who suffers from crohns. i have hav it for 15 years and have had all treatments including surgery. i currently take lialda( new form of asacol) and humira. for the past 3 years i have a a low sex drive and trouble maintaing an erection. befor that i never had any trouble. has anyone had similar effects due to the crohns or the medications taken for treatment. i have tried viagra ans such and have had some good results. does anyone have advice on how to improve this condition or where to seek help?
 
First, welcome to the forums tx!

I asked your same question shortly after I joined. As is the case with most questions, everyone is different. For the most part it seems folks here weren't affected. I'm in your boat though and suffered from ED problems and it seemingly became progressive and has been worse since the onset of the Crohn's symptoms. Based on discussions I had on here, I asked my doctor to check my testosterone levels during my yearly check up and indeed we did find that mine are low. He wanted to get the Crohn's under control before we moved forward with hormone replacement therapy because he posited that the Crohn's may be a driver of the lowered hormone levels. In the interim I picked up something called DHEA, which is an OTC supplement you can get at GNC, my sister, an RN told me about it. Its converted into testosterone when taken. I didn't notice much of a difference and did some additional research and it seems the scientific evidence as to its efficacy is not well defined and there are potential side effects noted in regards to heart trouble. So I've stopped taking it for now.

Right now I'm taking Prednisone (40mg) along with Imuran (50mg). Through research I've found that Prednisone works with/against the Adrenal gland which in part produces some level of testosterone. When I am taking Pred, I have a normal healthy sex drive and I don't actually have to use Viagra. It does seem to me though, that as the dosage is lowered that the sex drive and my ability to maintain an erection go down as well.

So if you're looking at some other means of correcting the situation beyond using Viagra. I'd talk with your doctor about getting a testosterone level test and explain why you're requesting it, I had to explain what was going on with my doctor who was suspicious at first but once we got the surprising (to him) results we are now putting a plan of action in place.

Hope that helps!

Drew-
 
Interesting stuff about hormone levels, I wonder if I have that trouble since every now and then a small amount of _something_ will leak from my nipple.

I asked the doc yesterday if it was related and he says it isn't but set up an appointment to see someone else about it. (April 25 I believe)
No problems with ED though.
 
Well, TheLazy1, not that I think this applies to you, but many men don't know they can develop breast cancer. Don't quote me, but I think 1:10 breast cancer victims are male. I mention this because the death rate for men with breast cancer is 3 times higher than in women. Why? Typically because men don't know they can get it, they don't know the warning signs, they don't heed the warning signs, OR they find the whole concept too embarrassing to look into. I have a problem whenever I see the ad campaigns for breast cancer. They never mention the chances that men can get it, even tho 1 in 10 are men. IF the word was spread, even occasionally, perhaps the male survival rate might improve to be more on par with a woman's survival chances? It couldn't hurt!
 
although im not male, my sex drive is nearly non existent at the moment..compared to what it ued to be. although ive not had crohns for as long as you and im not on the same meds etc
x
 
I know it's possible for men to get breast cancer but I checked and there were no lumps so I'm not _too_ worried at the moment.
I see another doc about it in 3 months anyway though, that was the earliest possible date.
 
Yeah, like I said, I didn't think it was applicable to you... But the opportunity to get the word out re men N breast cancer should never be overlooked. Not only an opportunity, per se... but a responsibility to spread the word, regardless of forum
 
txr72 said:
I am new to this site and need some advice. i am a 35 yr old male who suffers from crohns. i have hav it for 15 years and have had all treatments including surgery. i currently take lialda( new form of asacol) and humira. for the past 3 years i have a a low sex drive and trouble maintaing an erection. befor that i never had any trouble. has anyone had similar effects due to the crohns or the medications taken for treatment. i have tried viagra ans such and have had some good results. does anyone have advice on how to improve this condition or where to seek help?

I have the same problem but for me it's been going on for about 10 years now. I wish I could tell you something I tried that worked, but nothing helps for me. The libido collapsed just about the moment I started having symptoms and it is still gone today even though I'm in remission now. My testosterone level is something like double what is considered normal and endocrinology tests are normal, so no one knows what's going on with me.
 
txr72 said:
I am new to this site and need some advice. i am a 35 yr old male who suffers from crohns. i have hav it for 15 years and have had all treatments including surgery. i currently take lialda( new form of asacol) and humira. for the past 3 years i have a a low sex drive and trouble maintaing an erection. befor that i never had any trouble. has anyone had similar effects due to the crohns or the medications taken for treatment. i have tried viagra ans such and have had some good results. does anyone have advice on how to improve this condition or where to seek help?

I have a question for all the folks using viagra to help with their sex lives. If the libido is shot, what good is viagra going to do? I've tried these drugs and they don't do much because they just help with blood flow. If your libido is shot, viagra isn't going to do a whole lot to make you feel better. What I need is a desire pill.
 
Kev said:
Well, TheLazy1, not that I think this applies to you, but many men don't know they can develop breast cancer. Don't quote me, but I think 1:10 breast cancer victims are male. I mention this because the death rate for men with breast cancer is 3 times higher than in women. Why? Typically because men don't know they can get it, they don't know the warning signs, they don't heed the warning signs, OR they find the whole concept too embarrassing to look into. I have a problem whenever I see the ad campaigns for breast cancer. They never mention the chances that men can get it, even tho 1 in 10 are men. IF the word was spread, even occasionally, perhaps the male survival rate might improve to be more on par with a woman's survival chances? It couldn't hurt!

Not to mention giving men the HPV vaccine would stop most cases of penile and testicular cancer as well as genital warts. Oh, and since women are the only concern in health care, it would also stop those evil men from spreading the virus to unprotected women. I haven't heard even the slightest hint of someone even thinking about giving the vaccine to males though, let alone warning men of the risks they face from the same virus. Things like this go on and on. I'll probably never in my life see a 'men's health fair' or a 'department of men's health' or a 'men's clinic.' Being a male in the health care field can really make you feel dejected. I really want society to see me as more than a rapist or a wife beater.

Anyway, on to the topic. My libido is fine (I'm on no meds currently but I should be and probably will be in the next couple of months) but it's sometimes problematic when I want to have sex but I'm just too sick. Especially when the hormones and everything are flowing and being horny I feel no pain and then once those hormones subside I all of a sudden realize just how much I just exerted myself and how much more that made me hurt. Then it's difficult to continue and take care of my wife's needs.
 
well, the 'restrictions' of a disease like this on someone's ability to perform physical activities, to possibly over-exert... it applies to not only sex, but practically everything. However, in regards to sex, it can present an opportunity. I mean, just thru the aging process alone, things in that dept were going to change regardless of whether one had IBD or not. So, faced with that eventuality... us 'old' fellows learn to adapt... And, nature lends us a 'helping' hand (no double entendre intended there). Healthy or otherwise, sex for men is usually followed by an inclination to rest... perhaps natures way of allowing men to participate in encounters with multiple partners (in the days before the pairing off mode took precedence - look at primates who have 1 male N harem situations - those are our ancient forebears).. However, for the female of the species... sex seems to be quite invigourating, energizing. What's my point? If instead of satisfying your needs first, then finding you've over-exerted and are not in a position to satisfy your partner; REVERSE things. Satisfy your partner first... There are any number of methods, techniques, that minimize physical output on your behalf, yet women find completely satisfying. And, women have the ability to participate in a virtually unlimited number of these experiences.. again, without ending up exhausted N sleepy like a man does. and if you can change your perspective, perception of sex, that can improve your situation in ways that one really has to live to believe. For instance, many consider the act of foreplay as a precursor to sex; a stage or phase one has to go thru prior to having orgasm. An 'its not the journey, it's the destination that's important'. If you reverse that thought process... the 'fun', the 'enjoyment', the 'pleasure' potential is unlimited. Reality of the situation is that, even with rest periods, the number of 'orgasms' a man can have is limited... esp as health declines. But the pleasure that can be had from foreplay w/o orgasm.. that IS unlimited. IF you CAN learn to dwell on that aspect of it; to enjoy the pleasure you give your partner... IT can be very ego boosting... IT can be very 'energizing' as well. If I can use a very crude analogy... many men see the sex act like they see food. A quick satisfying burger at a fast food joint is fine. But, if you see sex as being like attending a smorgasbord, an unlimited buffet with an unending diversity of entrees; then WHY just go for the one entree that you've tried before WHEN it is perfectly permitted by the 'hostess' to sample everything, and come back for seconds? Any man is capable of doing this; and it doesn't require years of study in tantric techniques or orient mystique; and you probably won't need a little blue pill either. And if you take care of your partner, she'll take care of you
 
For the people suffering from a libido being completely shot, I have some good news. At least in my case, taking low-dose naltrexone has brought back my libido. For the first time in ten years, I can get aroused with little effort and I feel amazing. I've only been taking it for a few days now and the results have been great so far. No symptoms of bleeding or anything that would indicate that I have crohn's disease.
 
It will give you an erection, but does it effect libido? Those are very different things.
 
Colt said:
It will give you an erection, but does it effect libido? Those are very different things.

The biggest problem I was having was that my libido was shot. When the crohns disease came, my libido went to zero. I could swallow all the viagra I wanted and it was useless because viagra isn't a desire pill and no desire = no erection. Ever since starting the LDN, the libido has come back and I'm "in the mood" a whole lot more often which is fantastic.

I'm starting to really believe that crohns disease is something that is caused by the brain. Some of us have depression, some of us have anxiety, some of us have no energy, and some of us have no libido, but it seems like most people on the forum developed some psychological problem at the same time the disease started. We've all been suffering for so long that sometimes we just don't realize that the intestinal bleeding may be one symptom of a much larger problem caused by the brain not producing enough endorphins.
 
That is a bold claim (neural induced IBD), and I'll bet there's theories out there for it, but I'd need a whole lot of evidence to lean that way as well. Correlation does not equate causation (read: I looked at the clock to see what time it is, and sneezed, does that mean the clock made me sneeze?)
 
Chronic pain has been shown to cause a negative effect on the brain measured by less activity than those who are not in chronic pain and correlated with the symptom of feeling like your brain is 'foggy'.

Also, people suffering from chronic illnesses, especially debilitating ones like crohn's are at a higher risk of acquired psychological problems like situational depression and personality disorders just due to the stress on daily life caused by the illness.
 
BWS1982 said:
That is a bold claim (neural induced IBD), and I'll bet there's theories out there for it, but I'd need a whole lot of evidence to lean that way as well. Correlation does not equate causation (read: I looked at the clock to see what time it is, and sneezed, does that mean the clock made me sneeze?)

Everyone's crohn's disease is different. For example, people here can eat certain foods and get extremely sick, but when I eat those foods I feel fine. Some of us respond well to certain medications and some of us don't respond at all. With me, as soon as I go this disease, it came with other baggage: no appetite, no energy, no interest in sex, and a general feeling of being emotionally disconnected to everything around me.

I started doing acupuncture several months ago to treat the disease and after the first session, I felt very different. I got off the table and felt more alert, more focused and felt better after the first session. I walked over to the desk to make an appointment and noticed that the girl behind the desk was very attractive. This is the kind of stuff I would have never noticed before because my libido was shot. I drove home and was aroused the entire time, mind in the gutter for the first time in years. It was great. The next morning when I went to the bathroom things were much better, much more solid, etc.. I made more acupuncture appointments, but, unfortunately, I was never able to duplicate the effects of the first session, even after a month of treatment, so I stopped.

LDN must do what acupuncture does, but much more effectively. When I take the LDN, it's like my whole body works better and problems I had that I wasn't even aware of are getting better. I used to have trouble drinking liquids besides water without getting tremendous pain in my chest. One day I even had to go to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack. They sent me home and told me it was heartburn. Since taking the LDN, I no longer have that problem. I can drink as much of anything as quickly as I want. When I work out now, I get a rush of euphoria at the end of the workout and feel amazing since I started LDN. I live on an 18 story building and can run to the top floor using the stairs. Where did the energy come from? Since starting the LDN I have more energy than ever before.

But for me the biggest change in my life has been the change in libido. In my body sex and crohns are completely connected. If I go through a day feeling completely repulsed by the thought of sex, the next day I would practically bleed to death on the toilet. Since starting the LDN, I have been going through ups and downs on my road to recovery, but the days I am most aroused are the days the bowel movements are the most solid and the days that I am not interested in sex and walk down the street not noticing the pretty girls are the days where I'll feel pain and have a bad BM. The good news is that the good days are becoming more and more frequent.
 
I have noticed that when my Crohn's is flaring I go off sex completely - after my re-section i was like a rabbit which is where my third child came from !!

I think it is also linked to self-esteem - it's hard to feel desirable and sexy when you have spent the day counting BM's and looking for mucus and blood.
 
Well yay! Who can't be happy about sex? Congratulations on your new libido! I wish I could wrap it up with a bow! (Oh, I guess I could - heh, heh.) I bet it's been a long 10 years.
Hey other LDN users - any change in your libido?? Maybe I should pop a few! (Maybe if I get off this computer at bedtime....)
 
my sex life is down the pan :( my boyfriend wants it.. im not in the mood.. hese starting get moody with me :(

x
 
I agree Katie..I think this should be in the Lounge...LOL
but, I don't know how to move it.

Maybe someone can just start another one on this topic in there?

We opened the Lounge because of the number of younger members we have now.

Anyone want to start this again in the Lounge?
Drinks are on me!! :)

Oh and I am liking this topic!!
 
You guys may be able to kill 2 birds with one stone, viagra happens to be used as a crossover drug for crohns...

http://www.webmd.com/ibd-crohns-disease/news/20060224/viagra-may-help-crohns-disease

and RE; the leaking nipple(s) I'm not sure either what the signs of male breast cancer is but I'm pretty sure that males with leaking nipples is not a good thing, I hope it's not anything serious like breast cancer...do you have any nipple or breast pain? Or is the leaking the only symptom you have?

:)
 
Also as a woman speaking, I too have had very low to no sex drive and I'm blaming it all on the crohn's (and IBS) since I don't take oral RX for CD because I'm either allergic or non-responsive...I can say with my 17 yrs experiance with CD that when I feel better symptom wise (although I've never been in full remission yet) my drive does come back accordingly so at least that's one good thing.

I will also add that when I had absolutely NO drive what so ever, I was not only dealing with severe CD symptoms but depression and anxiety as well...the mind is a powerful thing.

:)
 
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katiesue1506 said:
The first week after taking my LDN I did notice that I was quite "randy"... lol... umm should this be in the lounge?

I was so off the wall my first week and I thought I would be like that all the time on LDN, but things seemed to have calmed down a little. It's amazing how LDN can improve things that I thought were a problem. I found this article which I thought was interesting:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...serid=10&md5=317e637e7b3849bc83bbcd6c1d7864ff

I'm not sure if women can experience the same benefits.
 
i give up with my sex life. im sick of my boyfriend constantly remiding me that he has 'needs' and not taking into consideration that i also have needs that are abit more important than sex at the moment
x
 
It is hard when you are feeling healthy to realize how someone does not have the same desires and feelings that you do. I hope you can discuss this properly with your boyfriend Babe123 as it is important that your boyfriend knows that you are not rejecting him as much as your body is saying "Save sex to when you are healthy... we are working overtime for you now!"
 
i think he thinks that i dont find him attractive any more. ive told him ( nicely) that sex isnt a priority at the moment that i havent got the energy. getting better is my priority. he still hasnt stoped trying though so i keep changing the subject. he is used to getting what he wants when he wants.. he isnt any more lol
x
 
We HAVE to listen to our bodies, even when they are telling us things we, or our partners, don't want to hear. Judging from the 'blurb' about "I'm fine", perhaps a bigger part of the problem is a lack or breakdown in communication. Is what you have with this person work some effort? And I'm not talking compromise sex. No, I mean sitting down and having an open, no holds barred talk about the situation.

Do you love each other? Your health means a relationship with sporadic or no sex... Is that it in a nutshell? OK, what are the alternatives? Do you think he would be OK with little/no sex for the forseeable future? Would you be OK to an open relationship? Both are extremes, and I'm not promoting/suggesting one or the other. Realistically, we have to put ourselves first with this disease, but also realistically that means sometimes we can't sustain a relationship. Its only one of a number of reasons that relationships can/do fail. Regardless of gender, many relationships can't long withstand a lack of physical intimacy.
 
i feel it comes down to the depth of love that a couple share... i know i would accept without question if the person i loved with all my heart could not, for whatever reason, sustain the physical part of our relationship.

true love should be unconditional - and a massive part of love is care & understanding, and being able to put your actions where your words are on these important commitments.

cuddles, massages, holding hands - these are all physical. and in many relationships with poorly or elderly people, that is all the physical they can do. and they're ok with that.
 
i am quite happy cudling and kissing. my boyfriend.. is quite selfish in a way.. but then again isnt in another. he will go out and buy me anything i need to make me feel better, but he wont give up trying to have sex with me or groping me. when i talk to him he then starts to say... i know whyt you dont want to it sbecause im crap and its because you dont love me anymore. i cant say anything to him without him thinking its becasue of him and its doing my head in. i dont know how to make him realise that i am so tired latley i havnt got the energy and i dont feel well enough to at the moment
x
 
I wouldn't deal with the guilt tripping... thats a HUGE no no in my book. If you don't want to do something, then you don't want to... forcing you isn't going to be good for anyone so he needs to either get over it or move on.
 
Yeah, I mean, when my wife isn't in the mood and I am, which is rare, I just...we're in the lounge right? (looks around) I'll just go crank one out myself. I don't try to force the issue. That's just kinda wrong. Now, I've still satisfied her even when I'm not feeling good, but I'm kinda cool that way and like making her feel good and it gets my mind off my guts for a bit.
 
All I can think of other than any obvious conclusions, is that perhaps he's actually also testing you, to see if you continue to shun him and his come on's, or, if you'll give in. It's possible (but I really have no clue) that he's testing your attraction to him, and your response is how he's gauging if you still find him attractive. Maybe he'll put less pressure on you if you somehow can talk it out with him and convince him you find him attractive and the real reason is the Crohns, not him.

Course it's still very likely he's just horny and wants some and thinks he can win you over.....like I said, I'm just spitballing.
 
lol id go with what you said last :) he cant win me over at the moment... im having terrible mood swings.. when he doesnt stop asking and asking it all builds up and then i snap at him. i told him yesterday that sex isnt a priority at the moment.. my health is and that unless i focus on getting better it wont be a priority for a long time. i think it may have worked..he hasnt tried so far. i feel kinda guilty though
x
 
Maybe he won't feel so rejected if you tell him you wouldn't have sex with anyone, not just him. Sounds odd, but it may make him realize it's your objection to sex, and not him personally.
 
Well, many men judge/guage the depth of their partners love for them by the sex.

If he is suddenly presented with there being NO prospect for sex in your futures, it may be the same (to him) as you telling him you no longer love him... a lose/lose proposition. Does he love you? Do you love him? If it wasn't for the sex issues would you N he be happy? Look, its a lovely notion that if one partner is incapable of sex, the other will lose all interest. It doesn't work that way... regardless of gender. And as for folks growing old and losing interest in sex... Have you seen the ads for viagara and cialis? Theyr'e there for a reason.

The is the Lounge... so I'm going to be a bit explicit... trying to help here. So if you physically don't feel like having sex, but want a sex life with your partner, what about considering the following... Someone suggested masturbation as a solution... but if your partner is seeking sex as confirmation or affirmation of the love he used to 'feel'/'get' from you... his masturbating isn't going to cut that.
What if you suggested he do that with you... no physical effort/activity on your part... you just lay beside him.. perhaps tell him what you would do to or for him if you were feeling better.. Sort of a step up from phone sex.. closeness, yet no exertion. It may give him the reassurance he needs, or at least satisfy him..
 
i could try that.. i think your right.. he feels that if i dont have sex with him i dont love him.. but i do. you can be as explicit as you want it doesnt bother me.. trust me.. living in my house and the friends my mum has im used to it lol. i have told him that it isnt becasue i dont want to.. its becasue i dont feel very well that i physically cant.. it snot like ive jsut got a cold.. otherwise i could understand him being the way he is
x
 
Babe123, the last thing you need right now is your boyfriend causing more stress in your life. He needs to stop thinking about himself. If your arms were broken would he make you lift things? If your legs were broken would he make you run? Probably not. Then why should he expect you to have sex if you are tired, uncomfortable and sore?

Sometimes people have a hard time understanding what we go through. Maybe he isn't mature enough to deal with the situation, maybe he truly feels that you not having sex with him means you don't love with him, or maybe he's playing on your emotions to get what he wants. In any case he needs to understand how you feel, and how his behaviour is effecting you.
 
Wiles said:
Babe123, the last thing you need right now is your boyfriend causing more stress in your life. He needs to stop thinking about himself. If your arms were broken would he make you lift things? If your legs were broken would he make you run? Probably not. Then why should he expect you to have sex if you are tired, uncomfortable and sore?

Sometimes people have a hard time understanding what we go through. Maybe he isn't mature enough to deal with the situation, maybe he truly feels that you not having sex with him means you don't love with him, or maybe he's playing on your emotions to get what he wants. In any case he needs to understand how you feel, and how his behaviour is effecting you.

:thumright:Great observation !
 
Babe's probably breaking up with him last she mentioned in the thread in Anything goes, sounds like he might have gotten another girl pregnant.
 
One day science will figure out this disease and we'll all be fine. I find it very fascinating that we all have different symptoms. Some of us feel better when we eat certain things, some of us feel worse eating the foods that help others. For me, the condition came along with something called sexual anhedonia, which is basically a "pleasureless orgasm". I think it is maybe even harder to live with this than the crohns' disease. Anyone else feel very flat moods and an inability to experience any kind of joy along with this disease? I feel very disconnected from the world, but, strangely, not depressed at all. I also have a lot of trouble giving and feeling affection. It's all quite sad.
 
I can relate to babe123 here alot. then again I have managed to cut myself off from the world in alot ways also these past coupple months. I'm guessin everyone here will understand what I mean when I say : normal people just dont get it and normal people are just too normal to fit into my life on a "normal" day!

so yea, when you dont feel good and the meds aren't working right, the last thing you need is a boyfriend / girlfriend wanting to go out and party all the time (gritting my teeth for now but I'm bout to go off about it) and all they ever talk about is sex... like is there nothing else going on in the world right now? I can't say I am depressed or angry or anything, but I'm really scared I'm going in that direction. I just want to be left alone and it is for sure that my present boyfriend never seems to help the issue... another thing that gets to me is the "are you ok" question when i wake up in the middle of the night in killer pain... I just wanna slap him and be like suuuuure I'm peachy... these tears are happy tears and no Im not in pain, hell I'm tickled pink! then that goes from bad to worse when he thinks its time for middle of the night sex.... so now if we all can't see why I moved back in with my parents, well your blind. It's been almost a month since I even saw him in person. I'd have to say also that maybe if he were more understanding then I'd actually want to be around him. When someone else can't understand or even try to understand what you are going through more than just a sex drive goes away. From where I'm sitting, every little emotion seems to vanish except the negitive ones.
 
Realistically sex is quite vital for a good relationship. Especially on a hormonal level (which plays a massive part in our mood and behavior). It's not so much that we're in no condition for sex as we're completely in no condition for a perfectly two-sided relationship. It's not just the sex. It's the inability to contribute enough resources to the other person to meet their needs because we can't even meet our own needs.

If you take a look around and think about it there's dozens of things other than sex where their bonding needs aren't being met. When is the last time you were able to go to a diner and movie and not spend a good portion of the time running off to the bathroom and/or complaining about how sick it was making you? When is the last time you had the energy to go to a party, a theme park, camping, etc? Do you put in an equal share of the house work and such?

It ends up being, I'm so sick I need to focus on me and you need to focus on me too or you're getting in my way. Some people can handle the unequal relationship better than others and if they can't hold out long enough (and it can be a very, very long time for some of us) for us to start feeling better it's just not going to work. We're terribly self-centered. Most people find that horribly offensive in a mate. The problem is, we can't really help it. It's not fair to them, but then it's not fair for us either.
 
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having this condition hanging over my head, my drive has gone downhill, I havent had sex in nearly a year as I dont want to have some girl having to deal with my problems.

I prefer to keep my problems seperate and the only way for me to do that is stay single.
 
It ends up being, I'm so sick I need to focus on me and you need to focus on me too or you're getting in my way. Some people can handle the unequal relationship better than others and if they can't hold out long enough (and it can be a very, very long time for some of us) for us to start feeling better it's just not going to work. We're terribly self-centered. Most people find that horribly offensive in a mate. The problem is, we can't really help it. It's not fair to them, but then it's not fair for us either.

I totally agree, I've found that unless the other person has crohns or some other form of IBS they can;t really understand what we have to go through. Sex drive is never a issue for me but just not feeling good is and people don't seem to understand there's a line in which you cross where engaging in sex isn't fun if your to sick to enjoy it. But I've basically given up on relationships at this point lol
 
Since the thread seems sorta general....For the Guys:

I've thought this for a long time...wouldn't you agree that you'd almost rather have no sex than sex with a condom, when speaking about "birth control" options (none or condom)? Dave Attell said it best in response to "how's it on your end": ...."oh I don't know, I feels like I'm banging an empty bottle of bleach..."

Cold. Dry. There's nothing to it, despite marketing ploys by several condom varieties...
 
I wouldn't know how it was on the other end first hand, I just know that moisture and warmth (key facets) are missing with a condom, and those are in the chick regardless of what the guy's wearing, so to be honest, I'd have thought it was inconsequential...
 
BWS1982 said:
I'd have thought it was inconsequential...

not at all. i agree with KatieSue 100% - with a condom it feels more like an impersonal experience, almost akin to shaking hands with gloves on instead of a lovely warm body hug lol. i hate the things, even though i know how important they are not just for birth control but for other barrier aspects too. it's many years since i've had experience with them (thankfully lol) but i remember how horrid they feel.
 
I'm with Ding on this. I never went without them untill I was married, I just didn't want any wee Danman's running around, plus I thought I'm diseased enough, don't want any more diseases.....!!!!!

So, to be honest, I didn't know any better. What you don't know, won't kill ya.
 
I haven't worn a prophylactic in about a decade & with the missus on birth control no more early withdrawal!!!!
 
Stleger88 said:
you ski tn?

Yeah, mostly the hills around here though (WI). Was in Winterpark for x-mas '06. I can't wait to get out to the mountains again.

you?
 
Stleger88 said:
I snowboard :) can't wait for the snow to come again

Yeah me too, although I am looking forward to lots of backpacking & mtn. biking this summer.
 
Stleger88 said:
never been big on mtn biking I like to cycle though, kinda off topic in the sex life area i guess lol


I dunno....skiing some freshies is a lot like sex....but it lasts longer. :D
 
No problem with the Crohns and the sex life here with the missus.

But hey, don't forget what Woody Allen said " don't knock masturbation. Its sex with someone I really love!"

Dan
 
lol I agree tn summit timberlands on like 18in of powder is amazingly fun :), but yeah danman I think your right haha

who the hell is woody allen? lol
 
that wasnt danman, it was danm!!!!
dont get the muddled, danman has apint of guiness as a pic.
but i do agree with danm about masturbation.
sharon xx
 
Here is this Dan next to the Guiness Quality Team's work van in Cork Ireland.

DanQuality.jpg


And learning to enjoy Irish Whisky at Jameson's distillery. (Still prefer American Burbon)
Picture092.jpg


The lesson here.... candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. ;)

Dan
 
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god you are gonna confuse some people on here danm, and that wont be hard. danman is also from the emerald isle.
sharon xx
 
I don't have Crohn's but I do have UC, and I can tell you this - sometimes I'm TERRIFIED of having sex with my husband because I'm scared of... um... making a mess....
I know that sounds bad.
Anyone with me?
 
Thats why the shower is a great thing, if there happens to be a mess, just wash it off.... Come on gotta think outside the bed.
 
Last year my gf purposely left the door wide open for me when I was not at my worst, but good enough to "be with her"....that's true love. :)
 
Santos61198 said:
I don't have Crohn's but I do have UC, and I can tell you this - sometimes I'm TERRIFIED of having sex with my husband because I'm scared of... um... making a mess....
I know that sounds bad.
Anyone with me?
put the sheets in the wash and have a shower. its happened to most of us on here. and we have all needed the toilet when we were in the middle of nowhere.
sharon xx
 
If someone's also on any type of anti depressent, that may be why you are lackign it.

I finally went cold turkey off my anti's several months ago, and after the withdrawal headaches subsided I was bouncing off the walls and the wife had to board up the doors to keep me out. Freaking A I forgot what a libido was.
 
~TN~ said:
I haven't worn a prophylactic in about a decade & with the missus on birth control no more early withdrawal!!!!
you wouldn't go for a paddle in a pair of wellies, bareback all the way:lol:
 
danman said:
I'm with Ding on this. I never went without them untill I was married, I just didn't want any wee Danman's running around, plus I thought I'm diseased enough, don't want any more diseases.....!!!!!

So, to be honest, I didn't know any better. What you don't know, won't kill ya.

To me, I think the prospect of little Nathans running around is far scarier than the prospect of getting a disease. I like having my alone time, and you get none of that with a kid but a whole lot of it with a terminal illness. So here's my three-step plan for birth control:

1. If the sexual relationship isn't monogamous, wear condoms.
2. Once the relationship is monogamous, condoms go bye bye, but birth control is mandatory. I will gladly pay for whatever form she chooses, but it's an absolute requirement.
3. Once condoms have gone bye bye, practice the donut/pastry method: always glaze the donut, and never fill the pastry.


Regarding sex and Crohn's disease, it's virtually impossible to maintain a relationship without sex. That's particularly true in your 20s, but really I think it's true until maybe your late 40s/early 50s when both parties' hormonal needs have drastically changed. If there is absolutely no possibility for sex, the party with the higher libido will start weighing his/her options. I used to find that thought process morally reprehensible, but I had always been in relationships with girls with high libidos. Once I was in one with a girl whose wasn't (she had a developmental issue with her spine as a kid which caused her vagina to form about 1/2" further back than it would have, and she had been a competitive softball player through high school and the first part of college, playing catcher, which aggravated the condition--consequently, sex was sometimes painful for her), I started to get it. People, no matter how hard they try, feel unloved when they want sex and are frequently denied it. It's a psychological wrecking ball--it will adversely affect everything in their lives, even things completely unrelated to the relationship.

This isn't gender-exclusive, but I think it's more likely to happen to a man, particularly when something like Crohn's disease is in play. Womens' hormones fluctuate more dramatically, so sometimes even if y'all are physically capable, you still just don't feel like it. Additionally, one of my female friends with Crohn's disease made the observation that having an innie complicates the pain/control issue for women in a way that it doesn't for guys.

Having said all of that, I developed a principle years ago in a relationship where I wasn't the sexual aggressor (which a lot of my girlfriends would tell you doesn't seem possible, but it really did happen that way). She needed sex more than I did (10+ times a week, whereas I'm good at 5), and me telling her no half the time made her feel awful, even though she understood intellectually that I still loved her. It caused a lot of damage to the relationship, and it led me to change my philosophy. My next relationship happened to also be with a girl whose needs were greater than mine, and I just made the decision to always say yes. If I was physically incapable of intercourse, we explored a lot of alternatives (not to be too explicit, but mouths and toys can accomplish a lot). Ultimately I found that not once did I regret giving in, and it eliminated a lot of problems in our relationship.

Anyway, that's some food for thought. Exercise some creativity and you may find that you like the results far better than the alternative.
 
I have not read the whole thread, only the situation posted by the op so im sure this was covered. Low testosterone levels are commonly associated with crohns. You may want to ask for your levels to be checked.
 
I've found that orgasms help with pain levels!!! So even tho I may not be feeling "randy", I'm all about giving it a go, especially cuz my bf is SOOOO hot. Babe123 - I still feel crappy and cant sometimes too though.
 
It is not all because of Crohn, sometimes it just we are getting older, mature, selective.
It is not the same being 25 years old than 35 years old.
 

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