My son aged 12 is going into year 9 tomorrow. It has been suggested by the school nurse that he brings a change of trousers and underwear to leave in her office. He is newly diagnosed and has never had an 'accident'. He doesn't actually know yet that some people with crohn's have accidents, I haven't told him all the things that he may face in the future as he is finding it hard enough to come to terms with. I explained about the clothes to him and said it was in case he had a bleed and wanted to get changed. He is very against taking them in. My husband says let him decide as he currently is not experiencing extreme urgency. I don't know what to do. My thoughts are that ok it hasn't happened yet but I don't want the first time to be in school with no change of clothes. Maybe I am fussing too much, maybe it is not that common? Do I respect my sons wishes or do I explain exactly why he may need them and risk a major reaction from him? I don't know what would be more harmful psychologically, telling him why he might need them or him not having them if he did? Anyone else face this and what did you do please?
Taking change of clothes to school?
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DustyKat
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I haven't faced this particular situation with my children but if it were me I would take the clothes in myself and then tell him they are there should he ever have the need, if he never uses them then no harm is done in them sitting in her office. Be straight to the point and don't fuss, what's done and is done. I wouldn't be at all surprised if part of his resistance is being embarrassed to take them into the nurse himself.
My daughter has never had an accident but was left with short bowel syndrome following surgery, she was in Year 9 at the time. I was concerned about her needing to use the public bathrooms frequently throughout the day. She didn't want a fuss made about it but I went to the school anyway and spoke with the Principal and I was given a key to a private bathroom. I gave it to Sarah and she said she wouldn't need it, I told her that was fine, it's your choice but you now also have the choice of using it should you ever feel the need.
Dusty. :heart:
My daughter has never had an accident but was left with short bowel syndrome following surgery, she was in Year 9 at the time. I was concerned about her needing to use the public bathrooms frequently throughout the day. She didn't want a fuss made about it but I went to the school anyway and spoke with the Principal and I was given a key to a private bathroom. I gave it to Sarah and she said she wouldn't need it, I told her that was fine, it's your choice but you now also have the choice of using it should you ever feel the need.
Dusty. :heart:
Thanks dustykat I agree that it is better to have them there than not. It is interesting to hear that your kids did not have this problem. I have read so much of people taking spare clothes, wipes and even adult diapers everywhere with them that I was beginning to think that this was normal for everyone with crohn's - maybe it isn't.
KWalker
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I don't think I've ever had any "accidents" at school either, however I've definately had some close calls. I think it would make him more comfortable to keep the spare clothes with him, rather than the school nurse. Leave it in his pack back, and you could even throw extra shorts and a shirt in too just for distraction so if the situation ever arose where kids said anything, all he would have to say is that they're gym clothes, and he forgot them in his bag.
I think the thing I would focus on is making sure each teacher knows he has this problem. There's a lot of strict teachers that don't agree with letting students go to the bathroom during their class, so letting the office know, they can then let the teachers know, and your son gets exempt from all these silly rules.
My mom always told me too, that if I ever needed to go and the teacher wouldn't let me, just to walk out of the classroom anyways, and she would deal with the school later if need be. I had to walk out once after a teacher told the kids we weren't allowed the leave the room. The teacher actually got in trouble from the main office for trying to stop bathroom breaks.
Sorry for the long post. Hope this helps a little.
I think the thing I would focus on is making sure each teacher knows he has this problem. There's a lot of strict teachers that don't agree with letting students go to the bathroom during their class, so letting the office know, they can then let the teachers know, and your son gets exempt from all these silly rules.
My mom always told me too, that if I ever needed to go and the teacher wouldn't let me, just to walk out of the classroom anyways, and she would deal with the school later if need be. I had to walk out once after a teacher told the kids we weren't allowed the leave the room. The teacher actually got in trouble from the main office for trying to stop bathroom breaks.
Sorry for the long post. Hope this helps a little.
As an adult, I agree about the clothes, but I had another thought ... I am sure your son has a cell phone. In case of such a situation, are you near the school if he called you? If he really is embarrassed by carrying the clothes or having them in the nurse's office, maybe let him have a little control over things. Cell phones are great.
While I don't remember having a change of clothes with me at school (diagnosed around age 9) - I do remember that I had an 'unlimited' pass to the bathroom - my teachers knew that when I needed to go, I NEEDED TO GO.....
I too agree with having a change with him - even with my daughter in kindergarten, I would usually have a clean pair of undies and pants in the bottom of her backpack. No one needed to know they are there.....but she also went to my Moms' after school and actually had an accident on the bus (pee) - after the hour long ride.....
I too agree with having a change with him - even with my daughter in kindergarten, I would usually have a clean pair of undies and pants in the bottom of her backpack. No one needed to know they are there.....but she also went to my Moms' after school and actually had an accident on the bus (pee) - after the hour long ride.....
Thank you for all the replies guys. I have asked him and dustykat was right he prefers me to take them in. I had thought about having them in his backpack but he may leave that in the classroom if he needs to go in a hurry. He does have a cell phone but it would take me at least half an hour to get to him.
I have spoken to the school and he will get a toilet pass. However I have also told him to ignore any teacher that says no and go anyway and that I shall sort it out afterwards. I do not make a habit of telling him to flout authority (particularly as I am a lawyer!) but I will not have some teacher ignoring our instructions and agreement with the school. This happened last year when he had a pass to leave class five minutes early as he was on crutches and very slow, also to avoid the crush in the corridors, but some teachers decided it was too disruptive to their classes. Let's just say we had words!
I have spoken to the school and he will get a toilet pass. However I have also told him to ignore any teacher that says no and go anyway and that I shall sort it out afterwards. I do not make a habit of telling him to flout authority (particularly as I am a lawyer!) but I will not have some teacher ignoring our instructions and agreement with the school. This happened last year when he had a pass to leave class five minutes early as he was on crutches and very slow, also to avoid the crush in the corridors, but some teachers decided it was too disruptive to their classes. Let's just say we had words!
DustyKat
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Prior to diagnosis neither of my children had diarrhoea so no issues on that front.
They have both had resections and now have a degree of chronic diarrhoea. My daughters resection was quite extensive hence the SBS but she now has that pretty much under control. My son is only recently diagnosed so I am hoping his will settle a little given time. I think the difference with them is they are able to predict when they need to go rather than having the uncertainty that strikes those with urgency.
Dusty. xxx
I am glad you came to an agreement. I just asked my son -he is same age as yours - and he said he would leave clothes with the nurse. (He looked at me like I was strange when I mentioned calling me on a cell phone 
His school also lets children with issues like Crohn's use the nurse's bathroom whenever they want. It is a bit more private ... but may not be as close.
His school also lets children with issues like Crohn's use the nurse's bathroom whenever they want. It is a bit more private ... but may not be as close.My son is in year 8 and was first diagnosed last year in year 7. That year he was quite embarrassed and wanted me to handle everything with the nurse. He has developed a great relationship with the staff in the health office now and "stops by to chat". We haven't taken a change of clothes yet, but probably should. He has a "free pass" with all of his teachers to just go to the bathroom whenever he needs and he often uses the nurses office restroom to be more private. This was harder for him last year since the 7th grade classes were farthest from the health office. The 8th grade classes are the closest and he says so far this year it's the only restroom he uses. He has found the health office staff to be the most supportive. Give your son some time and hopefully he will also build that relationship and his comfort level will increase as he himself gets used to the disease/diagnosis.
hello, my daughter is 13yrs old in her first year of high-school too & she keeps an extra set of clothes in her gym locker just encase of accident. teenagers embarrass very easily so I try & let her do whatever makes her comfortable. I dont have a problem with where she keeps them, as long as she has an extra set of clothes in school then Im ok with it. she also has unlimited access to nurses office & bathrooms. hope everything works out. good luck.
Just a quick note to say I hope he finds a solution that he is comfortable with, I know it can be embarassing for kids. Spare clothes does seem a good idea expecially if he can access then without too much fuss - having to tell lots of people he has had an'accident'.
My son starts primary school next year and I just asked if if could be in the classroom near the kids toilets just in case he starts with the diarrhoea ( he doesn't have it at the moment.) They also suggested a bag with spare clothes.They said he could also use the adult toilet if needed and the bag could be stored near there, which seemed a discreet solution if he needed it.
I hope your son is enjoying his school.
Best wishes,
LilyRose.
My son starts primary school next year and I just asked if if could be in the classroom near the kids toilets just in case he starts with the diarrhoea ( he doesn't have it at the moment.) They also suggested a bag with spare clothes.They said he could also use the adult toilet if needed and the bag could be stored near there, which seemed a discreet solution if he needed it.
I hope your son is enjoying his school.
Best wishes,
LilyRose.
AZMOM
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My short answer is that when Claire is flaring, we have extra clothes at school. We've stored them in a bag in class and also carried a set in the bottom of a backpack. I've just given her a voice in that decision and whatever she's comfortable with, that's how we've handled it.
Now, let me add that we've been blessed to never have to use the clothes but it gives her peace of mind to know they are there.
Hugs,
Julie
Now, let me add that we've been blessed to never have to use the clothes but it gives her peace of mind to know they are there.
Hugs,
Julie
Hi Dusty,
School is going well. So far they have been very supportive, he has a toilet pass and a lift pass so he doesn't have to use stairs if his legs are sore. This came in handy yesterday. Matt used to play judo before he became I'll and his club started their new season on Monday. As he has been feeling well he decided he would go down and try the training to see if he could go back. Result was a world of pain on Tuesday! His legs and hip joints hurt so bad he could hardly walk. Bizarrely his stomach was really sore too. I agonised about sending him to school but decided that to some extent it may just be muscle pain through lack of use, and time off should be saved for when he really can't manage. So off he went and boy was he glad of his lift pass! He is allowed to go to the library if he is not up to games lessons as well so all in all so far so good! How are your guys doing?
School is going well. So far they have been very supportive, he has a toilet pass and a lift pass so he doesn't have to use stairs if his legs are sore. This came in handy yesterday. Matt used to play judo before he became I'll and his club started their new season on Monday. As he has been feeling well he decided he would go down and try the training to see if he could go back. Result was a world of pain on Tuesday! His legs and hip joints hurt so bad he could hardly walk. Bizarrely his stomach was really sore too. I agonised about sending him to school but decided that to some extent it may just be muscle pain through lack of use, and time off should be saved for when he really can't manage. So off he went and boy was he glad of his lift pass! He is allowed to go to the library if he is not up to games lessons as well so all in all so far so good! How are your guys doing?
DustyKat
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This is so fab to hear Mum...:banana::banana::banana:...I hope all continues to go well, he surely deserves it!
Ah the sports, it's so hard to keep them away!
Matt is doing well thanks. Sarah is okay health wise but struggling a bit with her workload at present so I hope she can get things sorted soon. When she stressed she tends to lose weight and she can ill afford to do that! :eek2:
Thinking of you, :heart:
Dusty. xxxxxxxx
Ah the sports, it's so hard to keep them away!
Matt is doing well thanks. Sarah is okay health wise but struggling a bit with her workload at present so I hope she can get things sorted soon. When she stressed she tends to lose weight and she can ill afford to do that! :eek2:
Thinking of you, :heart:
Dusty. xxxxxxxx
