Terrible Bathroom Stories

[DanSJVDavis]

Another thread in here got me wondering about terrible bathroom tales. I'm sure we've all got quite a few tales about bathroom encounters, some funny, some embarrassing, some quite gross. Squeeze those out right here.

I can start with one that's a bit embarrassing and gross and kinda funny when I look back on it.

Back when I had my ostomy pouch I was forced to have my papaw who was driving me to the hospital for one of my many checkups pull over at a McDonalds because quite suddenly my pouch became overfull and was threatening to start leaking out the seal and I didn't have a spare. I usually emptied it before leaving for anywhere and this time was no exception, but things just went into overdrive and before I knew it I was in dire straits. So in I ran to the bathroom. I get in there and there's only one stall, a urinal, and two sinks...and the stall is full. So I wait...and wait some more. The guy still doesn't leave after a minute or so. Evidently he'd filled up on big macs and needed to be there for the long haul. The bag is threatening to bust at any moment and I start getting desperate. I look around and see the urinal...no, methinks, the urinal would never drain. It's got one of those little filters on it for just in case some idiot tosses a cigarette butt in there or drops a kidney stone and wants to keep it for a souvenir. I look to the sink and the guy still has not left. There's no stopper in the drain and it's a yawning darkness looming invitingly. I wait a little more, but know that at any moment the seal on the pouch is going to pop and my clothes and everything else will be covered. The guy must have died on the pot. I look again st that sink and make my choice. After all, there's no drain plug in. It should go right down with a little water. And I quickly find that the sink was already clogged... Well, I quickly hightail it out of there as fast as I can. With any luck, someone just thought someone got sick in the sink and left... uke_r: :blush:

To this day I feel real sorry for whoever had to clean it up.

And after that story I don't think anyone should be afraid to post their own story.

Just last week I went into a roadside bathroom after my Dad went in and he wasn't aware I was in there. I got out first and he came out a bit later and said, was that you that was in the next stall? I replied that it was. He said, joking, next time can you wait till I'm done? :ylol2:

 

[BWS1982]

I never had a bag (yet), and all my stories are horrid. I was a good 30 second walk from the bathroom at work, where most of my stories would take place. Lets just say that as much as I hated it, I couldn't do my job without a pair of adult diapers. It's that sad, I'm barely into adulthood and already dressing like a grandpa. They're damn expensive too, I go through about $60 in them per month, but I got sick of going through my boxer briefs so fast. It's a sad disease when you need to wear such articles of clothing.

A few weeks ago I was at a gas station out of town trying to clean up after myself after not making it in there in time, and there happened to be no light switch for the light IN the bathroom, it was near the beer section far from the bathroom door inside the convenience store, which I learned too late. I had to even take off my socks (you know why) so I was barefoot in there. The A-hole behind the counter told me that while I was in there for 30 minutes (for real that's about right), 2 different people wanted to go in there. I said yeah well there wasn't a light switch in a rude tone because I wasn't in the mood for a half literate hillbilly to lecture me on anything. Jokes on him still because without a light in there, I made quite the mess and left my "dirty Depends" for him and now he's got some work cut out for his lazy, condescending ass. Sickening.

 

[butt-eze]

That's great Benson, LOL!!!

I actually remember stopping at a gas station many years before my diagnosis. I walked in the bathroom and was disgusted to see that someone had crapped all over the back of the toilet. Disgusted I told my then boyfriend (no husband, wink!) about the awful sight. I explained that I couldn't understand how someone could miss that badly. Obviously, I now understand that I had probably witnessed a Crohn's moment. Those times when you are rushing to the bathroom and before you can make it to the seat you are marking the territory around the toilet.

I also love when you're so sick with crohn's that you can't tell which end to aim at the toilet. Am I going to crap or throw up? Both! Grab the garbage can and evacuate out of both ends, gross!

One of my many embarassing moments happened when my brother had just moved to the same area as me. I had just had my son and I was out driving with my mom, him, and my son. My brother hadn't really begun to understand the severity of my disease until I forced a chinese fire drill on him. I screamed, while stopped in traffic, get in the drivers seat. I got in the back seat, grabbed my sons blanket, and had my bathroom moment right there in the car. My brother was fairly cool about it but had to make fun of me for the stench in the car on the way home. When you have an infant you almost always have wipes around but you can't wipe away the smell from crapping in a car. He kept rolling down his window and sticking his head out of it. It actually helped lighten the mood for me. Needless to say he now gets how bad it is.

 

[BWS1982]

I actually saw "coffee ground" feces at work 15 months ago in the training area of our building in the bathroom, I was still in my first 7 month flare so I had an idea of what could have caused it. Whoever did it had something GI related going on, and didn't bother to hide it by not flushing. Kinda gross.

 

[Jeff D.]

Last week after I got out of the hospital I decided that I needed to get new strings for my guitar at the local music store so I went with my mom and got to the music store. That morning I had taken a full dose of miralax and when I got to the stor I started farting. Then I realized I just pooped my pants so I ran to the bathroom and tried to clean the boxer which ended up having to be thrown away. I got poop all over the seat and the floor and myself. I ended up having to buy the strings and run home for I was boxerless and afraid of what would happen next. I got home though in the nick of time and went good ol' number two. It wasn't a good experience and I think I freaked out a few people at the store since I was holding my groin area trying to keep the poop from falling out. I laugh now but it was a bit upsetting last week.

 

[merrywidow]

jeff,d everytime you use your new strings, you will have fond memories of their purchase!!!
my stoma is called fred. and when he was new, me and my son took my first trip to the supermarket, we was in the queue when fred decided to make a good farting noise, my son said fred is making alot of noise mum, i replied yes he is, the eldery lady behind us commented,"that its lovely when children have invisible freinds" at this point i was praying that my son didnt mention who fred was, and thankfully he didnt, regards sharon x

 

[Jeff D.]

hahaha yeah for the next couple weeks they are dubbed the crap strings.

That's a funny story. I can't believe someone would actually talk to you about imaginary friends.

 

[merrywidow]

old people talk to anybody as their are lonely, but this was one occassion when i didnt want to talk to them!!!! regards sharon x

 

[callypat]

There are so many it's hard to choose. Most recently, as a case manager I mostly work in the community making home visits. I am usually very careful what I eat during the workday, but we all know that sometimes that doesn't matter much. Anyway, just yesterday I was at a clients house waiting for the DCS workers to show up for a meeting with the family I was working with. I started to feel the familiar cramp. I tried to ignore it, but it wasn't going to let me. I politely asked if I could use their bathroom and did my best not to run down the hall even though by then I was almost in a panic. It took at least 15 minutes, and as if that weren't bad enough, I went to flush I discovered the water had been turned off for some plumbing work that was being done in the basement. I am still so embarrased when I think about it. I just kept telling them how sorry I was.

 

[butt-eze]

Oh Callypat...that sucks! It's been a long time since I've had to deal with someone elses crappy toilet. I will say that I think it should be a requirement that people keep their toilets working properly so that these situations don't happen. Fix it people!

 

[Kev]

Well, I've been fortunate so far.. no horror stories, but at my worst I rarely went out.. Tried to visit my mom at the hospital one time, made three attempts N had to turn around each time.

But, before dx, pre symptoms (except for a 45 day stretch that wasn't dx'd then) I was leaving work... driving along, and funny things started happening. I had the sudden, URGENT need to go.. but it felt different. Nowhere near any public places one might find a bathroom.. but close to the house of a lady I was seeing. In desparation, I headed there. Said a quick hello, politely asked if I could use her facilities, and rushed in. Only to discover on top of the 'urgent' need I was impacted.. No one who hasn't been can understand that agony. I was in luck, to a degree. Lady in question was a nurse, knew what impacted meant. She readily agreed to drop everything, and went to the pharmacy for the 'rescue' supplies I needed. Brought them, passed them around the edge of the door to me.. and I was able, slowly, tho screaming in agony at times, to do something about my condition. Problem was the smell. Lord have mercy what a stench. At some of my screams she'd come to the door, knock, ask if I was OK. I don't know how she could stomach it.. the damned stink was everywhere. I finally salvaged myself, cleaned up everything, disposed of the boxes, enemas, etc,.. By the time I exited, the bathroom looked OK, but I wouldn't go in there on a bet. Suprisingly, that little episode did not end our dating relationship. Go figure.. sometimes you women are saints. Or, at least, angels of mercy..