Hi Kim,
I had two setons placed in December of 2013, and while I was not on Remicade at the same time, I had been on it for quite a few years previously.
My recovery after my surgery was about 2 weeks and the first 5 days or so really sucked. I spent it on the couch on my side high in percocet. Okay, that actually doesn't sound too bad! Sitz baths helped to ease pain and and a squirt bottle after pooping instead wiping.
You'll find lots of us over on the fistulas forum that have had setons, so I recommend you go there and read some stories.
I had mine removed after 7 months, and while things aren't perfect, they are WAAAY better and I am glad I did the surgery.
About Remicade - it was a great drug for me. 10 years it basically kept my fistulas closed and healed one completely. I decided to go off to have a baby and was unable to go back on due to allergic reaction.
Let me know if you have any more specific questions.