Wow, this thread has been super busy! I'm going to do my best to reply to everyone.
Carrie, thanks! I actually just got my hair chopped off today (it's super cute!). I got side-swept bangs cut and a short slightly angled bob above my shoulders. So I think I am going to get the straight-across clip-in bangs like you got, that way I could do either kind of bangs depending on my mood.
Star, oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear pred isn't working.
That's so frustrating! I think Dannysmom mentioned something similar with her son, I believe she said he took pred at times over the years for other issues and it worked great, then he took it for presumed IBD but it stopped working and/or he had a bad reaction more recently? Hopefully she sees this and can give you more details as I may not be remembering it right. But anyway, apparently pred can sometimes just spontaneously fail, I'm not sure why that is. It sure is frustrating, I was so hopeful that this was going to be magical for you like it was for me.
Poor thing. I don't suppose you're doing any better today? Big hugs to you either way! I hope you can figure out what to do next - I know Aza was on the table, are you still considering it?
Hi FosterFamily2303, welcome to the club. Wow, it sounds like you've been through a fair amount of surgeries with no luck! I hope the endoscopy went well - I see you posted yesterday so I'm guessing you've already had it done today? How did it go, did they find anything?
HannahN, I'm glad you found us and because Allie's story does indeed sound very similar to yours! I had my ANA tested and it was normal/negative - I had it tested when I was first diagnosed with arthritis, they wanted to see if it was Rheumatoid arthritis or not (it was not). I didn't know until I started following Allie's story that stuff like Lupus can mimic Crohn's-like symptoms. Good luck, I hope you can get a proper diagnosis and some treatment and relief soon!
Bozzy, I replied to your other thread but will say that I hope they can find the cause of your bleeding and other symptoms! I don't usually bleed, only when I get a fissure or a hemmie, and I can say as a non-bleeder that it is pretty scary to see blood on those few ocassions that I have it, so it must have been really scary for you! Good luck with the sigmoidoscopy tomorrow, please keep us posted on how it goes and what they find.
Living in a Bubble, welcome to the club. Being on pred could definitely mask your symptoms and make Crohn's essentially "disappear" (visually at least) on a scope. I am glad you're having what sounds like a thorough investigation of your files soon - if it were me, I'd explain that I was on pred at the time of the scope and would request a re-do of the colonoscopy (and make sure they take lots of biopsies too). Stories like yours frustrate me especially so, how awful that they saw evidence of Crohn's and diagnosed you, then yanked the diagnosis a short time later while you were on meds that specifically and quickly heal and mask the signs of Crohn's! Ugh. Good luck on Friday with the appointment, please keep us posted on how it goes.
And finally, Allie, you poor dear. I read your posts several times and they just made me so sad, to the brink of tears, and I am not even quite sure how to reply. First I will say, when my illness is active it severely screws with my emotions - I cry at the drop of a hat (I can recall crying at multiple TV commercials and crying through entire conversations when my mom called me during flares, I just could not control my tears). I get very, very depressed too. My mind goes to very dark places. I haven't cut myself, but I have had thoughts about ending my life during those dark times. I never would, of course - I'm an atheist, so I don't believe there's anything like heaven or an afterlife, it seems to me that this is the only life I'm going to get, and I have to make the most of it and not waste it or end it no matter how tough things get - being alive is better than not existing, regardless of circumstances. But my thoughts have gone there at times. Anyway, my point is that I understand, when you are so ill for so long it really really wears on you mentally and it is so easy to get down and to get thoughts or urges to cause self-harm. I'm sad that you acted on the urge this time, but I am really glad that you seem to understand how terrible it is and that you don't want to do it again. I agree with what Happy said, find someone to talk to and to advocate for you. You and your husband have basically been going through this more or less alone, and it sounds like help is needed. Your hubby's answer is to shove pills down your throat and that doesn't necessarily sound like the best solution to me. Is there someone affiliated with the military that can help the both of you? Or someone involved with you in the plays/musicals maybe? I know you must have somewhat limited resources, living in a foreign country, but surely there must be someone who can help advocate for you and both your physical health and emotional/mental health. We're all here for you, although again we're limited in what we can do for you through the computer. Big hugs to you! I hope things are looking much brighter now.
Okay, so, anyway. As for me, I've been a bit stressed about my new boss so my guts haven't been super happy. I was actually a bit constipated yesterday and barely went (and when I did it was like little hard rabbit poos) and I am making up for it today by going more often than usual and having looser stools than usual, and I've been a bit crampy too. My new boss had set up a meeting for us today to talk about what I do so I was nervous about that - I hate change and didn't want my job duties to radically change! Fortunately the meeting went really well. She's really nice - I told her about my health issues and that I might need to call in sick more often than the average person, and she said no problem at all - it turns out she's got health issues too, so she totally understands. And, when we went over everything I do in my job, she said it sounds like I know what I'm doing and I should just keep on doing it with minimal changes (and the few changes that will happen sound kind of fun)!
Yay! So that's a load off my shoulders anyway. Things are looking up.