Cat.. I am not surprised you feel stressed and frustrated about this. I think personally, its unfair of him to tell you to get off the fence with what you are already dealing with. You are in a flare..and you are currently the bread winner. So now is clearly not the time to put you on the spot with this.
Perhaps though (and im not taking his side) he has wanted to talk about this for a long time? And maybe he is internally stressed with not having the work and watching you being so unwell. Having kids is a touchy subject for most people. I have always known that I wanted a family. That was my only goal in life.However.. I had a horrible pregnancy (as you know) and now I dread ever being pregnant again (though I know I'll do it.. because my daughter is so worth it).
Maybe you could approach this subject again yourself.. so its not the elephant in the room. Explain again, your reasons for not wanting a kid right now.. but that its not "off the table" and when those reservations are sorted (his job and your health) you can discuss it again?
I think you just need to be open, and he needs to understand.. you love him, you understand his desire to have kids.. you dont want him constantly thinking "she doesnt want kids.. I cant talk about it, in case I upset her or make her ill" and then it snowballs in his mind until he blows - like he just did.
I really hope you are both able to resolve it.. sometimes a good blow out of frustrations is a good thing to clear the air.
:hug: hugs to you cat xxx
Perhaps though (and im not taking his side) he has wanted to talk about this for a long time? And maybe he is internally stressed with not having the work and watching you being so unwell. Having kids is a touchy subject for most people. I have always known that I wanted a family. That was my only goal in life.However.. I had a horrible pregnancy (as you know) and now I dread ever being pregnant again (though I know I'll do it.. because my daughter is so worth it).
Maybe you could approach this subject again yourself.. so its not the elephant in the room. Explain again, your reasons for not wanting a kid right now.. but that its not "off the table" and when those reservations are sorted (his job and your health) you can discuss it again?
I think you just need to be open, and he needs to understand.. you love him, you understand his desire to have kids.. you dont want him constantly thinking "she doesnt want kids.. I cant talk about it, in case I upset her or make her ill" and then it snowballs in his mind until he blows - like he just did.
I really hope you are both able to resolve it.. sometimes a good blow out of frustrations is a good thing to clear the air.
:hug: hugs to you cat xxx