Hi, I'm a 15 year old crohnie girl from Asia and I was 'diagnosed' when I was 13 of age. However, I had Crohn's since I was 6 years old.
My story is a little more, uhm, complicated. Im from a part of the world where crohns is like really rare so. I went undiagnosed for ages until it got really, really really worse! Like , im-one-second-away-from-dying worse,.
Long story short , I survived with a surgery that had a, um like, 1% survival rate.
In general, it all started with the loss of appetite back when I started Kindergarten and I was always a fussy eater. People find it hard to believe because I was overweight when I was a toddler. The stomach-cramps and depressing pains and of course, the frequent pooping started when I was ten though. They didn't come as often, at first but, weakening like, 'it hurts like hell so i cant move nor breath so stay away please' kinda weak. Hurts like...worse than hell. It's indescribable really. Those flares. When you have them,you just have to 'go'. fast! I went to the toilet over six times per day! including the times I woke up in the middle of the night to just, poop!
So anyways, the symptoms got worse over the years. I was always anemic, practically tired all the time, and was generally weak and way too underweight. Everyone was always like, "You are so thin!" and that is so, SO SO Annoying I tell you. But I got used to that--from hearing that or almost 6 years.
Here's the thing. When I was ten, i used to get the pains really rarely like once a week. but the other symptoms and diarrhea was always, always there! and I got used to the diarrhea, thinking it was just me. I was take abroad and everywhere for the diarrhea problem but they all just passed it off as 'nothing'.
This went on and on. I was taken to numerous doctors, the number being infinite! Im not exaggerating! They all took it as some simple diarrhea, admitted me with IVs and BAM, one week later, I"m home, not at all better!
There are many things that happened so im just summarising my very very long story SO, basically, it was when I was 12 when the symptoms quickly got out of hand. Like I said, IBD Is not common in Asia so no one gave much attention to it so I wasn't given any kinda treatment except IVs when I was in the ER One too many times from excruciating flares.
I went undiagnosed for an eternity. The pains developed so severe it was like, like as if a 399343 ton brick building was going to come out of you with god knows whatelse!
funny thing here. My parents didnt believe me! THey didnt believe my pain! theythought I was acting! I mean, what? I know Crohns is an invisible disease and the "YOu dont look sick" line striked me more than 298240324898 times as well. One thing to say, Low blow. and annoyng as hell.
I was losing weight, my blood was low. I was struggling to study but I always coped up. My immunity was reakishy low and my body represented an almost dead corpse! No joking.
Long story short agaain, I was taken abroad AGAIN< where i was shown to this arrogant doctor who refused my colonoscopies which showed 90 % stricturing! He claimed that i had like, Habitual constipation and it was RIDICULOUS! oh god, and he gave me these laxatives which made me poo like CRAzy and GODDAMN< the pain! The pain doubled over all the way to moon! Imagine, laxatives working its' black magic over your inflmmed, strictured intestines and I was full on screaming murder with the pain. It was..unbearable! I swear to god that's worse that child labour!
I was even given nebulisation, being told I had asthma and was admitted for a month, on steroids--for the asthma! I got kinda better with the steroids so they thought i was fine! ugh.
again, fast forawarding, to 2013, thirteen years old.My family FINALLY believed something! The disease got way out of hand. I was like, dying. I missed more than a half of my classes. I couldnt walk, couldnt talk, couldnt breath, and of course, couldnt eat or drink, at all. I didnt have a diet plan or anything, like i said, no diagnosis. so my family tried to feed me everything, despite my pleas.
Nobody knew, no body understood at all. It was, it was hell.
MY health deteorated to the stage of barely being alive. If i was a half dead corpse before, I was dead then.
believe it or not, at 150 cm (4 feet 9 inches) i was 21 kg (46 pounds!): MY BMI being 9.3. Underweight as hell.
--
I was so weak, so death-like, I spent my days in the hospital, not making any difference, the pain slowly killin me of sorts. Everyone came to see me. PIty in their eyes. Disgusting. BUt i was too busy trying to live to give a damn. I was tying to breath.
FINALLY. After travellng to places, doing ALL tests humanely possible including cancer test and all. (also a colonoscopy with no sedative--that felt like, death. death. like ripping my insides alive). I went to this place, abroad, with my parents, under government help because it was an emergency case. I was dying. The expenses were beyon measure. But, everyone e knew contributed and somehow, we mde it.
I was in a wheelchairall the time. I didnt care about anything else. I didnt care when I was literally on the road, on the pavement with 3938343420 people staring at me, while i was bursting with that exruciating pain. i just didnt care.
So. after weeks in the hospital. I was taken to surgery. I was so weak, so so weak they;d kept me in the hospital just fo my albumin rates to be normal or they couldnt do the surgery. I was on no-food-no-drink diet. Just TPN. and at night, the pain made me unable to sleep. I couldnt sleep. Dad would stay up all night, rubbing my back to ease te pain. He was a great man...
THey gave me Avil, sleeping pills and whatnot but nothing was powerful enough to over come the pain. no medication did anything to stop the pain. it was slowly decreasing what was left of me.
When I Was taken in to the surgery theatre, my mom was holding back tears and dad, he couldnt even look at me. they knew things i didnt but i didnt care. I was...i dont know.The doc told me 'I"d have to wear a J pouch.t bothered me and i got emot
They couldnt even give me anesthesia 'cause i was too weak, so they just gave me this black mask to breath into and i was knocked out.
wheni opened my eyes...god, my insides were gonna BURST with a million babies! Thats what it felt! IT was UNBEARABLE! but i was again knocked out.
apparently, i woke up RIGHT AFTER THE surgery!
----
It was a miracle.
I was a hopeless case. No one told me but my mom knew. The doctors made it CLEAR that the surgery was just 1 % hope for my survival. EVen if i did, I'd be in a ventilator and that'd I'd have a J Pouch.
But Great God, I survived. NO ventilator. no J pouch. They carried anastamosis and resection on me and i was fine.
I am fine now.
I'm okay.
I'm not okay but I"m okay.
Crohn's is forever, I know. BUt I'm proud. to be a crohnie. My scar is my identity. My unity. The symbol of survival.
I have no words to say how thankful i am to the LORd , to my parents. ANd everyone else. CRohn's, has ruined important parts of my life, due to which I'm going throught stuff today BUT, everythng happens for reason and im HAPPY That i had it. I feel special. I went through things no one ever would want to and IM glad God chose me to go through this. we must all be proud!
Now ths isnt my whole story. I wrote a whole book about it. If you want to read it do let me know!!
I'm currently in remission. and I'm on Azathioprine, 100 mg, and this july 18th will be 2nd surgery anniversary! I have fears regarding the medication side effcts, if you could help me out that'd be great. I can now eat what i want and do everything but Im not OKAY> like okay okay. I have occasional moodswings and breathing problems and headaches and depression and stuff. but im doing okay. I;ll deal with it.!
But the point is that,
Hope Matters.
Out of suffering emerged the strongest souls and the most massive characters are ones seared with scars!