Upset with Surgery Outcome..Single Mom..

[andrea3]

Today I went in for what I thought would be a simple fistulotomy, but it turned out to be so much more serious...I now have a seton in place, i'm all bruised up, and my doc says i have to keep it in indefinitely, or unless i go into remission. He wants me to take meds that I don't feel comfortable taking and i am so upset and frustrated, depressed and feeling isolated by this. It's so hard to talk about with anyone.
I am a single mom to a wonderful 16 month old boy. He is my everything and my most important motivation to keep going, to not let Crohn's disease get the best of me...but i am having such a hard time right now. I am feeling like, with this seton in place and all these complications...how will I ever feel comfortable pursuing a relationship? Will sex hurt or aggravate this? Obviously i don't have any plans to pursue anything for a while but the thought of an indefinitely placed seton makes me so uncomfortable and anxious feeling and it just breaks my heart. I feel so sad right now.
This is my first time joining a Crohn's disease support group but I think I really need it. I need to know that I'm not alone and that I can get through this...because it is so hard to carry on my shoulders while keeping it together and being the best mom i can for my son...

 

[LisaL]

I can't give you anything more than a virtual hug...but I wanted you to know that I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy. I am a mom to three kids, and I now how hard it is to take care of kids when you are at your best, and I also know what it is like to try to rally your energy to really BE with your kid. All you can do is your best each day. I hope that others with experience with setons can give you more specific and concrete advise. But, I can welcome you to the forum and let you know you are not alone.
-Lisa

 

[Bottomless mummy]

I've had three setons in place at one time, they aren't a bad thing nor are they something that after I while you even realize are there. The only real omplaint I had were mine tore holes in my knickers. They don't hurt during intercourse. They may become uncomfortable at times if they have a lot of leakage. They aren't a permant thing from my experience because if they're not doing they're job we'll then it's best to remove them. I'm guessing when you say drugs you mean a biologic? Remicade and humira a good for fistulating crohns but generally after you've tried other drugs like aza. I wouldnt be to hard on yourself.

 

[Grumbletum]

Hello there. I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this and I'm glad that you have joined us. Please come and have a look at the the threads over here. I havent had a seton myself but there are many good folks on this subforum who can add to the advice you've been given above.