Thank you so much for your reply. I am so grateful for this forum as there arent a lot of folks out there that have our situation!
I was going 25+ times a day ~ and it was soft (like oatmeal) most of the time. Nights were the worst!! I did journal to identify triggers. I too seem to be set off by dairy, alcohol :-(, and anything that has a high fat content. But it seemed to be more involved than just food, and the doc told me "oatmeal" is as good as it gets, so I had an anal manometry test and it turns out that my sphincter was not that strong and it was attributed to sacral nerve damage. I birthed four large (wonderful!) babies and the docs arent sure if it was from that or from the colorectal surgery. The great news is that I was a candidate for a sacral nerve stimulator implant; which is similar to a pacemaker but for the nerves that communicate with the sphincter. My brain was saying "hold it" but the nerves weren't connected. No wonder I was having such troubles!!!
The implant has given me my life back!!! I still go about 8-10 times a day, take 12 lomotil a day and paregoric, but I can actually hold it and get to the bathroom. The constant sense of urgency is gone. I feel so blessed as this device has only been approved for fecal incontinence for a year ~ its been around for urinary incontinence for 20 years.
So long story short, I liken my surgery to fixing up an old home ..... Sometimes you take off a wall to replace something and find another problem you have to take care of as well. I am on the bandwagon though to spread the word to anyone (pouchers or not) that this is available, recovery is easy, and is a drug free way to get you back to your old self. Fecal incontinence (or incontinence in general) is just not discussed so its easy to get discouraged about treatment options.