Do I have too..... :(

[Rob]

Ok so I've been single for hmmmm
anyway lol
one my friends took upon themselves too organize a blind date (lucky me)
prob is I'm in middle of a flare so not really upto it as it is

my friend says I'm an idiot but I dunno

what ya think am I stupid?

 

[forum contributor]

First things first.... does your friend have Crohn's or UC? Does he or she know what you're going through?

You're not stupid. It's not like you're just nervous about going on a blind date - you're in the middle of a flare. You feel like crap.

If you're up to it when your flare stops, try to get together then.

But no, you're not stupid.

 

[Rob]

Cheers
nah my friend doesn't hav cd or uc
they do know I hav it an been sick, is why they tryin set me up
tryin make me feel betta etc

I'm not much of a dater at best of times

 

[shazamataz]

You are not stupid Rob, but your friend is for thinking going on a date will make you 'feel better' after just being in hospital and being on huge amounts of drugs!! I'm sure they mean well, but don't feel forced into it if you don't feel like it eh?

 

[Rob]

Thanks guys

but apparently I'm soft or gay
- reverse psychology?? Lol

I dunno how fun I'd be anyway can't drink ATM can't eat much and doin the dunny dash wouldn't be very inviting towards her

I give up

 

[Rob]

Lol
I'm more a personality guy erazer
doesn't matter if she a super model if she has the vocabulary or brains of a 10yo lol

 

[Rob]

Mmmmm no thanks lol

 

[Rob]

Yea it can be lonely etc
but I dunno jus not really sure on upto it
I think goin on a date could ruin things worse than not goin lol

 

[Rob]

Lol yea it is a bit if a worry

I don't hav the best self esteem etc as is so datin always been awkward there
now with the gut probs yea not good

 

[tamesis]

I can totally understand where you're coming from Rob, i barely have the energy right now to maintain a relationship, let alone try to start one! I agree, maybe try to set it up after you're feeling better, if you're up for it.

 

[Rob]

Yea
I know what your sayin
it's such a depressing disease

jus as well I got my girls I guess, least is some company, and they are understanding

 

[Rob]

Lol
no no kids
I call my two dogs my girls

 

[Guestly]

Rob. A blind date with a severe flare of Crohns???? Are you kidding me? It sounds like the plot of a BAD romantic comedy movie.... You know it's going to end badly.

Your friend may have your best interests at heart, and if this girl is really special, and he is convinced you would get on, why not get her tel no, have a few chats on the phone, see if there is a connection? If you get on maybe she could visit you and your girls?

I just wonder whether we are sometimes trapped by the idea that a relationship has to follow preset stages? 1st date/snog.... 2nd date...

Why not take a different route ? You said you are more interested in the intellect anyway, maybe you could get to know her before you meet in person?

Just a thought?

 

[Rob]

Thanks for the support guys

I'm replying from the comfort of my bed - yes i stayed home an chickened out lol
I dunno I think this girl mite be thinking I'm makin up excuses etc for bailing out I dunno
but also ATM I don't really care, tonites the first nite for me back home on my own since gettin out hospital - was stayin at the olds due to fact they got better air cond and has been hot here

so I don't think o needed to over do it first day back

I can't post up pics on here sorry Beth as I'm only on an iPhone

 

[Pirate]

Rob, I like Lishy's idea of having a few phone convesations and see how things end up. Just don't let your CD be the center of the conversation. Throw it out there when you explain to her why you had to pass on the blind-date and let her know that it may take a little time for you to get comfortable enough with going out because of the bathroom problem.
Who knows, she maay be the person that you have been wait for your whole life. Everyone has a soulmate out there, the problem is finding them.

Do the phone calls, buddy.

 

[gibby]

I have been set up with a friend of my best friends husband for the past 5 years, its been tried and tried, and we never really met up, and when we did it was with a group and at first i didnt really know if he was my type, but kept an open mind anyway. then i left for New Zealand, was heading across for a year for work. before i went i went out with my best friend for new years and tony and ferg (the set up) came too, and i mean he is a really nice guy, and we chatted all night, but yeah still didnt feel attraction was there.

anyway, as soon as i stepped on a plane, i got a text from him, and that was that...the whole year was spent sending random texts back and forth, and was quite nice actually! started to get a bit of the butterflies!

so i got back at christmas, and moved back up to the town i worked in before i left. And i got invited round to his cos he wanted to cook me dinner (a danger in itself) but was a good night, we chatted and caught up, and dinner was nice, and we missed the movie we were loooking at going to see so just stayed in. He dropped me off, got a little kiss goodnight and left it at that....

that was 5 weeks ago, because when i got home i ended up passing a lovely flare up poop into the loo...blood and everything....

so started the cycle of trying to get on top of my flare (which is another story in itself!) but we had been texting on and off trying to meet up if only to head to the movies...but for various reasons on both sides we could never get a date when we were both free (NHS doesnt feel nurses should have social lives....nasty shift work) and then in the past week things got really bad, with me signed off work and stuff, and actually havent texted him to tell him why we cant make a night this week...

...but dont know what to do....cos if i say i am ill then would he want to come round or ask whats wrong? feel its a bit of a random thing to disclose so early on in the 'courting' stages (courting! i love that word!)

but like you Rob, if we dont get out there and try then are we ever gonna get to meet someone? i mean this guy may not be for me, cos i still dont feel i wanna rip his clothes off, and he is terribly shy, but maybe its a slow burner!i should give it a go surely! but how do i explain the week of no contact, and when do i say i am better to meet up again when i dont know myself! i dont want to lie but dont want to tell the truth either!

ayeayeaye this is a hard life......

and i am ALL for a movie based on a blind date with a closet crohns sufferer, could be the next hit rom-com....jennifer aniston and gerard butler would jump at it i bet

hope you sort it out.....maybe try texting first and seeing how you get on?

 

[Rob]

Hmmm hard too say gibby
I've been out the dating game some time
but maybe if you are interested in him that you should explain too him
uv known each other for a while so he should be understanding - he did wait a year for u too come home
and if he can't accept it then you don't hv too waste anymore time with someone who obviously isn't the one

I texted her a few times - I'm not much of a talker - but i think she thinks I giving her the brush off or something

I dunno but the content-wording of sone messages .....
Let's jus say I don't think I'll be replying
I not sure how many times I can say I'm not well enuff too go out etc

I'm a bit mmmm quiet wen comes to meetin ppl anyway
jus think it easier if I stay how I am
can't dissapoint anyone this way

 

[merrywidow]

i personally wouldnt go on a blind date when i was in a flare. it doesnt give the right impression does it. conversation would be like "hi, "hi" gotta go to the toilet brb". oh your back, do you wanna drink? gotta go to the toilet again brb.............

 

[Peaches]

I agree with Merry - and Rob - you just got out of the hospital not too long ago. Give yourself more time to feel better before trying a date. But don't completely take yourself off the market man....Ms. Right might be out there waiting for you....to feel better :O)

 

[gibby]

how australian was that right there!

she'll be roooiiigggghhttt! i am actually imagining you saying that very phrase...i hope you sound like the voice in my head....ahem...

 

[Rob]

Thanks again guys/gals

I think for now I need concentrate on makin sure I'm better b4 considering even thinkin about dating, been single this long what's another year or so??

I don't think I'd be great company ATM anyway, sick, depressed, an not overly happy with how I am (pred weight, pred achne, etc)

so thanks again for ya support etc with this topic an listening too my rant
I'll leave you all to more important pressing matters

cheers

 

[Pirate]

Hey Rob, that's what we're here for. Dating is a very serious problem with Crohnies. I was one of the ones that was spared that issue as I had been married for 8 yrs before I was diagnosed.

Get better and than we'll worry about finding you a lady friend. Okay?

 

[gibby]

Absouloutely pirate! you get well Rob, take it easy, get yourself happy and healthy and see how you get on from there, dont pressure yourself! these things come along when we least expect them....thats at least what i keep getting told!
night night
hugs,
xx

 

[merrywidow]

did you go on that date rob?

 

[Rob]

Nope I didn't Sharon

I piked it lol

that was a week or two ago now I think (so lost track time with this disease)
and I havnt heard from her in atleast four days so guessin she gave up n moved on
- prob for the better I guess

 

[merrywidow]

piked it= chickened out, didnt go?
maybe when your feeling better?then australia had better look out!!!