Feeling really really low

[Holly]

First of all, I don't really contribute help or feedback to this forum and offer my advice etc. and for that I am really sorry. I will try harder to do that in future.

I am currently not in a flare, I visit the bathroom average 4 times a day with very ls sorry if that's tmi, I also get pale face, dizziness, occasional nausea, massive bloatedness (is that even a real word?) This comes either if I don't eat at all, or if I binge. I am 5'6" and weigh average 124lbs

I take 100mg of Imuran and I am supposed to take 1000mg of Pentasa (but I haven't done for at least 6 months maybe more…

So I've started to get random waves of sadness where I feel like I could cry that very moment for no reason at all. Curious as to why this is?
When this happens I daydream of hypothetical situations that may happen to me (drastic things) like eg. Me getting cancer, or ending up hospitalised again.

Possibly stemming from I walked in on my mum watching a programme about how immuno-suppressents cause cancer. This upset me so much that I stopped taking them for 3 weeks. But I'm back on them now.

Also my Gastro cancelled my appointment 3 weeks ago which I was pretty cross about.
But it's the overwhelming sadness waves that's bothering me, anyone else get this?
Bet you all think I'm a right case.

Thanks for your time

I

 

[SarahBear]

Hi, Holly!

First off, no need to apologize for not posting advice. That's certainly not required of you, and we won't hold it against you if you don't. However, if you do start posting more often, that's great!

Are you certain you're not flaring? When were tests last done to confirm this? It doesn't sound like remission. If your Crohn's is truly inactive, there might be something else going on. You definitely should not feel the way you do while in remission. :hug:

Is there a reason why you don't take the Pentasa? It's kind of a frustrating medication, I know. You should let your GI know that you're not taking it, at least - it'll help them better monitor your condition.

:hug: It sounds like you're dealing with depression. That's common for people with medical conditions - we face more obstacles than the average person, have more to worry about, and just all around feel bad so often. Have you seen anyone about this? Treating it with medication or with talk therapy could really help.

:ghug: We're here if you need us!

 

[Ya noy]

Holly,

It sounds like you are depressed. You shouldn't feel guilty or bad about that, it happens to almost everyone at one time or another. Depression can be caused by many things, including a sense of helplessness due to a chronic illness that's causing pain or other problems/limitations, which is a legitimate reason for depression and totally

Depression can also be caused by a chemical imbalance, which antidepressants could help with. Have you considered seeing a therapist?

 

[Niks]

Holly, go and see your Doctor, he can help you with depression. No one should have to feel like this. As Ya noy said it can be set off by a chemical imbalance.

Good luck and keep us posted! (((HUGS))) :ghug:

 

[Holly]

But I lead a happy life, I have 2 jobs, Uni, friends, a great family, boyfriend, his family are amazing, I don't think I am depressed surely?
I have not been told whether I am in a flare or in remission but I know what it feels like to be in a serious flare and it's not as bad as that although not perfect as you can tell by my description.

I don't have results cos Gastro cancelled my appointment so we'll have to wait for those.
Also don't know about therapy, not convinced I need one?

 

[Jim (POPS)]

Hi Holly and welcome to the forum. I feel like Sarahbear (she is one of my best friends in the forum) does, no need to say anything about not posting.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I also take Imuran and I know just what you mean about thinking about all that could happen. BUT, let me say a little about that. I'm 62 and found that I had crohns at age 61, just when I retired and was mad as hell. Then I had to start taking Imuran and read all the side effects and got even madder. But now I don't think that way, here's why. Life is all about the things we decide to do in life. We drive and we could get into a wreck and die, we walk across the St. when cars are coming and don't get hit. By taking Imuran yes we could have something happen from it but by not taking it we could be way worse off. The chances of something happening to us is slim, could we be the one that it happens to, yes, but its just like driving a car, we could be the one but it has not happen. So thats the way I think about it. Am I going to waste my time going over and over what could happen, I try not to do that because in the end it doesn't matter if I worry about it or not. If its going to happen, its going to happen. I don't want to look back after years of good healt thinking all I did was worry about what could happen from taking Imuran, its just not worth it. After all, if we don't take it we could be far worse off than taking it. I hope they way I'm trying to think about this helps you. Will I never think about something happening, NO, but I'm sure going to limit the time I do. That is time wasted.
Hope this help you.
Jim Pops

 

[SarahBear]

Chemical imbalances don't discriminate. How satisfied you are with your life can actually have very little to do with it.

I'd say you're still flaring. Things have calmed down, but the disease is still active. While in remission, you should feel very few, infrequent symptoms or no symptoms at all.

 

[lsgs]

Hi Holly,

I also get these waves of sadness. I go through phases of it, and quite often I'm left confused because normally I can justify it - I'm sad because I'm sick. But sometimes when I feel well the sadness persists and in my opinion it's a consequence of having a long term, life limiting illness. It's only natural. I don't call it depression, I don't think it is. It's helped me a lot to read books about dealing with chronic illness. I also think if you're well enough, exercise is a fantastic tool to help you feel better about yourself. Some of my happiest summers were spent on my bike but I'm too sick to ride at the moment.

I also struggle with feeling bad because I have a fantastic husband, a great job and a lovely dog and we have a great life except for my health and it feels quite... self indulgent to feel sad. But it's just so normal with chronic illness to go through periods like that I think.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[TwinkleToes]

Hi Holly -

Let me tell you something, Sister, you're preachin' to a choir! And I mean that in a funny way.

Honestly, my mood fluctuates constantly. One minute i'm fine, the next minute i'm balling my eyes out. My Boyfriend is now used to it (thankfully) but I still feel embarrassed. This is by no means an easy disease to deal with. 90% of my friends have no idea how much pain it truly causes me, and neither does my family. While some are sympathetic, other people that I wish would care more (i.e. my Boss who cares more about my psychopath co-workers and their unprofessional habits) don't.

It's so easy to get discouraged, but have hope. One thing I do to help is keep a personal blog here online. I can vent anytime I want, about anything I want. And, i'm the only one who knows about it. It helps get me through the tough times when I don't feel like telling my friend AGAIN about how much i'm currently hating my job.

Sometimes i'll feel sad for an entire week, then fine the next week. It tends to come and go with my symptoms. But, please go see your doctor and express the problems you are having. Also, have you thought about a therapist? Here in the states it's great to have an unbiased opinion to just vent to for an hour. Just a thought.

Stay strong! <3

 

[PVail]

HI Holly
I think waves of sadness come with the territory , wether its the body saying give me a break or the mind not wanting to think about everything all the time I m not sure but I think most of us get this from time to time.
Ok im a guy and ive had days when I think its all good and suddenly I feel the impending doom sensation. Its like being alone when your not alone if you know what I mean .
Truly i believe any one with a chronic illness must get this . I try to be positive and push it back . think of only good things . I have taken up cycling as a way of escape and to keep fit . Its the one thing I can control , how far I go , how fast ,when will I stop etc.... I feel its really important to say that you know you have this condition but within certain boundaries you have control.
I know its not something that we can talk to anyone about but here on this forum you can Vent away ,and its good to do it.

Peter

 

[jackwhiting]

Hey,

Just wanted to say sorry that you are feeling depressed. It's horrid, I tend to go through phases where I go really down i feel fine, but I tend to be more sensitive and get upset to bits.

Just wanted to post saying I hope you see the doctor and they can help you out, I know it's horrid but hang in there!

 

[Holly]

Sounds like its more common than I thought, this Crohnies community is fantastic cos were all in the same boat and it just reminds you that you're not alone even if you are feeling it.
Thankyou everyone. Rang up the hospital this morning got an appointment for the 30th not ideal but it's better than nothing xx

 

[mwkwmn]

Hi holly I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for several months and this disease has a lot to do with that. I know it's very easy to get down on our selves but I think we have to look at the big picture. We are very fortunate to have this forum to help vent to others that are going through the same things and that have very helpful suggestions. Just remember you are not alone and remember it could always be worse. Hang in there your young and have a wonderful life ahead of you if you take the right attitude into it.

 

[tots]

Hey Holly-

No need to appologize for not posting like you think maybe you
should. We all have different needs at different points in out
lives. The forum is here to help you through whatever it is we
can help you with. I am sure in the future a certin post will inspire
you to answer. But, until then absorb what you need to help you
through this rough spot.

I hope you talk to your Dr about your feelings and see what
they say. This is a hard disease to process and any meds you
take can be hard on you too.


Take care


Lauren

 

[Kimbar2003]

Hi, just want to say I have taken some comfort from reading all the replies and questions. It makes me realise we are not alone. I am currently having a flare up and cannot stop crying the smallest thing sets me off. Which is very hard when your at work. I went the hospital two days ago and have been prescribed steroids, I didn't react well last time I was on them but thought I'd give it ago, as I can not deal with the modulen. After taking steroids for one day I'm currently feeling worse, up through the night with stomach cramps and the rest. Is this normal? My mother also has crohns so
I am lucky in a way as have someone who knows what I'm going through, she says I need to give them chance. Waiting to have a colonoscopy which should be through soon.

 

[Beatit]

Use your pain for strength as for negative thoughts don't let them in your head. Change the topic.

 

[Kara-Danielle]

Hey holly, I hope you get better soon..I was recently diagnosed with Crohns and had the "why me" thoughts since I've always been healthy..but I look at it now as a chapter in my life that will make me stronger for something else..I'm currently in a flare and was feeling really sick today and decided to get on here..this place offers a lot of encouragement and it eases the pain a little knowing that your not alone in your sickness..my mom also has crohns and she almost died from it bc Dr didn't know what it was, so I draw some strength from her to..when I'm feeling a little low I cry and let it all out then watch a funny movie and realize life isnt bad at all

 

[Holly]

Thankyou for all your posts.
Since writing this I was told by my Gastro that I was back in a flare so he wanted to jump start a lot of medication re-jigs and things to stop it coming back with a vengence.
I was very down when I was told about the possibility of a flare.
and my weight is a constant source of upset (I have another post about my weight issues here http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?p=643897#post643897 feel free to be amazing as usual)
But I spoke to my Personal Tutor at Uni and she gave me a pep talk about how great I have done to get through two years at Uni whilst battling with the condition.
I have realised that I have a great support network at home, my family are incredible, and my boyfriend has been so wonderful.

and here. You guys make it so much better, I often say I wish I knew people who had it so they could relate to some of the things that happen, and having this place here to talk to people it really is an amazing thing to have, and I don't know how I would have coped had it not been for this forum and the people in it.

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

 

[SN8888]

When I stick to my strict diet (low carb SCD-like, no wheat, no dairy, low residue, no alcohol, etc), my emotional state is much better. The effect from wheat alone really surprised me. If I cheat and have a little wheat, I end up spaced out and really depressed within an hour or so of eating it....the gi irritation takes a little longer to show up. It was really unexpected.
You look young. If I were you, I'd try some very strict diets, probiotics (saccharomyces bouldardii like Florastor) and anything else that could help you stay off harsh drugs.