Hey guys I need some support

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Jeff D.

Joined
Apr 22, 2006
Messages
5,054
Guys I don't know what's going on in my head right now. I just had a bowel movement and got shooting pain up my from the bottom of my anus to the top of my scrotum on the right side. I have been in pain for the past half hour and I don't know what to do. I am freaking out. I have cried for most of the time since my bathroom visit and I am just getting really nervous. I almost wonder if I have a fissure or something. I don't know. I just know that I am starting to have a panic attack or something because I am shaking and my breathing is weird. I don't know where to go to express my self about this except for here so please help. I want to just give up right now and I am slowly dying inside. I am getting the whole why me questions coming inside my head right now and it is 2 in the morning. I am tired but not at the same time. I just want to curl up in a ball but I cannot at the moment and cry my life away. The worst thing is that I have to go to the bathroom and I can't because of the pain. I'm not prepared for this. I keep misspelling words and my OCD is causing me to fix it which is just terrible. Please guys if pray for me right now because I am just at a low right now. My back hurts and leg hurts from tensing it up aaaaahhhhhhhhhh I just don't know what to do.

If all you do is reply to this thread I will be more than happy. I don't want to wake my parents up and I feel like I am going through this alone. I just want someone to hold me or something. I don't know I'm scared and I don't want to go to the emergency room although if this happens tomorrow I guess I will have to. I just don't trust them I want my doctor.

I'm done for now I am just dying.

Thanks for reading and understanding me

Jeff:depressed: :depressed:
 
Hey Jeff,
I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy man. I'm not feeling too hot myself so I can understand what you're going through. I too, have been having those why me, give up feelings lately.

Just know it'll pass and that you're stronger then this disease, you own it, it does not own you.

You are in my prayers and thoughts and I hope that you start feeling better soon.
 
Hang tough. You will get through this and a lot worse. Use your rational mind and try shut out the emotional one. That is all I can do when irrational feeling come around.

There will be better days ahead.

Dan Bergman
 
Jeff,
Hang in there! Pain is never a good sign, and as a parent of a child with Crohns I have to urge you to wake your parents and go to the emrgency room if the pain persists. I know you are used to being on your own at college, as is my son, but I have to tell you, your parents are there to love and support you-do not feel bad about waking them up!They can help you get through this.
Take care,
Ramona
 
Hi Jeff. I'm sorry you're not feeling so great. If the pain and unwellness is this bad you probably should go get seen. I know sometimes we might feel like we're wasting someones time if we go to the ER. If it ends up being nothing big, then at least you know what it is and you don't have to worry about it so much, but if it is something more serious you'll have caught it early and the doctors will be able to help you.
 
Hey guys, I went to the emrgency room lpast night at around 3;30. I had a CT scan and they found an abscess. They think it is really deep and are keping me here for a few days on morphine, taking sitz baths, taking in fluids, and also on antibiotics. In a day or two they are going to knock me out and take a better look for themselves. They may go in at that time to drain the abscess more. Anyways quick reply from the ospital, also in the middle I just had my 7th butt checkout of the day.
 
hi jeff

sorry to hear it got so bad - but its good to know you're being looked after in hospital now, and that they have identified what the problem is. good luck with everything - keep us posted how you get on!!

dingbat.
 
Yeah, Jeff... Now that you are in the hospital, I'm sure the doctors will get to the bottom of this.. (sorry, couldn't resist). take care, keep us informed when you can
 
Today's report is that my butt is much less red today and the sores are almost gone or are gone. My pain when from a ten at 3:30 in the morning to now where I haven't had morphine in four hours and I only have a minor pain. The surgeons are wary of surgery yet the on call doctor wants me to have it. My GI who works in the hospital hasn't seen me yet but hopefully tomorrow will come to give me some advice. I heard that an abscess for a Crohn's patient could get more infected after a surgery or could become a really bad fissure. I'm worried about getting surgery since hearing that and am a little confused but if my butt is draining on its own and getting better daily then I don't think I should need the surgery.

Thanks for the support
 
thinking of you too jeff, and hoping everything heals up on its own without surgery. keep your chin up - you're in good hands now.


dingbat
 
Hey guys I got checked under anestesia today and it looks bad. My abscess is small and draining but after that the guy couldn't even get his pinky past a certain point. It looks like when I get my infection taken care of that I will be put on Remicade. I am kind of worried about it so if you guys could give me your opinion on this. I guess Remicade would be better than surgery but I would think surgery would give me quicker results.

Thanks guys
 
Jeff, good thing you went to the ER when you did. Do you also have a fistula or just an abscess? Either way, it doesn't sound good and I went through a similar deal over the summer. But mine was in my stomach so don't know if it would be analogous to your situation.

I was given the option of trying Remicade to get it under control but the doctors said surgery would be best. But I think mine was pretty advanced. The fistula had grown all the way to my skin from the intestine. I did the surgery and still ended up on Humira which I started today.
 
Last edited:
I just have an abscess so far. They think that Remicade is best because it works best on perianal Crohn's but I have to wait for the infection to go away before I use it. I may also be taking this next semester off to get healthy and to help move because I am moving within a month. Plus I am changing colleges and stuff so it may be best.

Thanks for all the best wishes
 
I am going to be taking this semester off. I am putting health first and foremost and then will switch schools starting fall. I am going to be put on Remicade once I have gotten rid of my abscess.
 
That's probably a good idea to take the semester off while you're getting this sorted out. I guess that may be why you're switching schools. You'll need to be able to get to the doctor's office or wherever you have the Remicade infusions.

It's also good that the abscess was caught before a fistula developed. When my abscess was discovered there was already a full grown fistula coming out of it. You won't have as much to overcome when you start Remicade without a fistula.

In the meantime, I hope you can make the most of your time and are able to enjoy life some without having to worry about homework. On the other hand, if you know what your major is, you could spend some time studying or doing research. It's never too early to start preparing for your capstone if you can begin to narrow down what that might be.
 
Yeah I am going to be having to study Biology on my own. I am happy I am taking a few months off to get healthy and I am switching schools so that I am nearby for Remicade treatments. Ia m supposed to be on it for a year or so. The most problems I am having right now is with the damned receptionists not responding when I need pain meds like right now. But whatever I am doing much better now. I go for an MRI at 9:30 to get another look.
 
remicade

Hi Jeff,

Hang in there, man! I've been on remicade for 3 years now and I think it's great.

Give it a shot. The infusions are no big deal and hopefully will help you as much as they helped me!

Stay Strong.
-Ilysha
 
great to hear you're doing better than you were a few days ago jeff, & it sounds like you have a good plan of action there too :) good luck with the MRI, & i hope you continue to recover quickly.
 
Hey guys I went through the MRI and found out I have a very bad spot of Crohn's in my rectum right now. They stretched it out earlier today so hopefully my BM's will not be painful and so they will be larger as well.

Yesterday they did a pick line and it hurt so bad. They deadened my arm and everything but I could feel everything they did to the point that I felt the tube part in my vein in my chest. I got a panic attack and everything just went really badly. The actual procedure went perfect but my mind was in a terrible place. I was wanting to kill myself at that point. I was on morphine and an anxiety medicine and that helped me out. Today it doesn't hurt much anymore either. I go in for Remicade on the 21 so thats good and I may get out by Sunday. Thanks everyone for your support and that I am going to keep posting my reports.
 
aw you poor thing jeff. i had to google 'pick line' just now to see what you meant, its something i've never had, but i can imagine i would panic as you did if i had to have one. at least its in place now, and they can give you whatever you need thru it without having to stab you with needles each time ;)

well done on getting thru it all so far, you're on your way to getting better - and thats great news!
 
I am getting out today at some point in the future. I am starting to feel better today. Thanks for all of your support.

Yeah dingbat I was so freaked out with the needle. They are taking my pick line out today as well which kind of freaks me out but I am going to be taking an adivan or something ofr anxiety.
 
good luck for when they take the line out jeff - i'm sure you'll be fine. its always nicer having something removed than inserted lol. i remember when they took the feed line out of my jugular vein near my collar bone - i was petrified, but i just held my breath and tried to relax, and it was over & done with in seconds.

and great news that you're going home today!! :)
 
Jeff, you are very brave. I am crying just reading about all you went through. I freak out even at the thought of such things. I'm glad you are feeling better and getting out of the hospital.
 
Hi Jeff
I've been there several times(6 in total) with the picc-line thing. I am surprised though that they are taking it out.Mine they always left in until something happened like a blow out or infected. They should keep it in for ur remicade treatments .It saves on poking ur arm all the time. In my case I have very tiny small or they run away and hide when they see that needle coming.
Any way I feel for yah Jeff and good luck
Tammy
 
Thanks guys for all the support. I got the picc-line out, thats how its spelled, and it was no problem but one of the people who was trying to do it poked me a million times with the sharp scissors as they were trying to cut off the sutures. The other one came in and told the guy he did it wrong and that she would take over. She came in and did in only a few seconds. Took out the the line and the creepy thing is that the picc-line had no blood on it. Anyways I have been out for a day now and am doing okay. Thanks again guys.
 
Oh yeah I have tree inches of active Crohn's in my rectum which made my butt region extremely tight. I never new your anus is supposed to be able to pass something the size of a grapefruit. I thought it was normal to pass stools the size of a pen.
 
I didn't know what a picc-line was either. After reading about, man, that does sound kind of intense. Good to hear you got it out though and out of the hospital. I also never knew how much the anal opening could stretch but am not surprised considering how babies are birthed. And I imagine it would be painful to pass a stool the size of a grapefruit.
 
Oh yeah I couldn't imagine ever passing anything the size of a grapefruit. Something the size of a pea hurts me.lol
 
Now all we need is one of these 'so called' experts with a grapefruit sized skull so we can all get together and tell him/her to stick their head up their a... ailmentary canal. Imagine. Passing stool the size of a grapefruit. Sure, I get the childbirth comparison... I've seen women in the childbirth process. Thanks but nooo thanks!
 

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