How do you explain to colleagues?

[bushydougie]

I have recently returned to work after being off for 8 months. As many of you know I am still undiagnosed but my GI believes I have Crohn's though it's yet to be spotted on any test...
Anyhow many of my colleagues have been asking how I am doing and most have been very supportive and pleased to see me back at work. However when I explain how I am doing/feeling I am getting soooooo frustrated. I explain that I am doing ok (I don't go into any real detail) and can cope when the children are in (I'm a teacher) but that by the end of the day I am absolutely shattered/tired/knackered etc etc. So many of them reply with the fact that they too are very tired by the end of the day isn't everyone? Or words to that effect. How do I get across the level of fatigue I am feeling? I have realised that using the word tired does not in any way explain the level of exhaustion that I am feeling and gets confused with a 'normal' persons tiredness. I obviously don't want to come across as rude but I also want to explain as easily as possible why I can't do much at the end of the day and need to leave pretty early. My drive home is awful, I feel like a zombie and then go straight to bed for and hour or so. My manager is pretty good and tells me I can go home but I am worried about what people think...
I have read many posts from people who are frustrated by others not understanding symptoms. I am not sure how many people at work know what has actually been wrong with me and I think many just assume that I am well now that I am back at work.
I have managed to go down to working 4 days a week which is greatly helping as I have to only do 2 days at a time

Sam

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

Are you able to take a break & a quick nap in the middle of your work day? That's what I frequently do - there's a cot set up in an empty office, and frequently during my down time I will take a break and go lay down for 15 or 20 minutes. It helps a lot with recharging my energy and getting me through the rest of the day. I know you work with children - do they take a nap during the day? Maybe you could do some sort of group nap and lay down and sleep when they do?

 

[bushydougie]

Would not be able to sleep at work, it would be really frowned upon!! I do get breaks through the day and I can cope with the work during the time that the children are in. It's only after they go home that the exhaustion suddenly hits me. I basically can do nothing in the evening when I get home except be propped up watching tv and sometimes am able to cook tea.
I am though so glad to be back at work and on the whole feeling better

 

[gringo43]

Hi Sam

I can only imagine how it must be for you. I don't know if you have regular "teacher meetings" but maybe you could give them a "short course" explanation of what crohn's is according to your comfort level..hope you finally get a firm diagnosis and can start feeling better soon!

-Jerry

 

[Rebecca85]

I get that too! (the fatigue and the reaction from others). I explain it as being like the flu- your body is fighting off a problem and that's why you're tired. Except in this case your body is causing and fighting the problem so it's twice as bad!

 

[Silvermoon]

((((((((((((( Sam ))))))))))) This is a case where being a nurse is extremely helpful, as all of my colleagues understand how chronic conditions affect the body, so i often have 4 or more "mums" at work who are watching out for me...lol :blush:

The unfortunate part of that is I don't know how I would handle a situation like yours, but I think gringo and Rebecca have some awesome ideas! Even though you may not necessarily have any kind of form of IBD, there is obviously something wrong with your immune system, and what ever it is, because it is in overdrive, you are going to get tired easier and faster than other people.

If they are supportive, they will be receptive to the information you can tell them (or even get them to read... maybe a one or two page printout off the internet that explains things in a nutshell). Sometimes, once people understand better what is going on and what kinds of things they can watch for to help you out, they well recognize signs in you that show when you have "hit the wall" and just want to fall over from exhaustion. (I tend to get a bit of a dazed look and my eyes glaze over... people who don't know assume I am uninterested in what is going on... but once I have explained it to people who don't really understand well at first, then they recognize that I am just on overload and need to sit for a minute or two).

I wish I could be more help, but hopefully some of the other ideas may work for you.

Take care of yourself ((((((((( Sweetie ))))))))

 

[bushydougie]

Thank you so much for all your advice
It's so good to be in touch with people who really understand.
I think I'll be using all of your ideas to help!
And silvermoon you have been very helpful!!! Don't underestimate the power you have with your kind words

 

[Astra]

Hiya Sam

Do you know what I did? I wrote it all down, symptoms, feelings, emotions, meds, side effects etc and kept it humorous, with funny stories, and sent it round my school in a memo! I also left a tin of Quality Street in the staff room with a thank you card!
The response was amazing! People kept coming up to me saying they never realised, didn't know, never understood, never heard of it, we'll watch out for you, support you etc etc
I'm glad I did it, I'm also putting awareness out there too, and that's important to me.

 

[whoami24601]

I also hate trying to explain to someone what is going on with my body. Whether it be a co-worker that asked why I was out that week or the person in the elevator that hears my stomach and thinks that I am hungry (If I hear one more person tell me to take Maalox I am going to flip), it is just a difficult task to explain.

I have found that when people ask me what is going on I try to explain it to them in laymens terms. When they continue to give me the blank stare I just wrap the conversation up with "It is the disease the Kurt Cobain had and why he did heroin".

Although they still have no idea what I am dealing with, they do hear a celebrity's name and can somehow then empathize on a level that I have not been able to duplicate. *shrug*

I also get really, really tired. To combat that I take Vitamin B with my breakfast and that helps to give me more of a boost.

Take care of yourself!