I think im having a breakdown

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Babe123

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i think im having a breakdown

i know i rant alot and im sorry but i think im breaking down

i actually give up!

i come home after a full day at college and my mum moans at me becasue the house is a mess ( she suffers with depression). i tidy up after my self ( i do leave a few things lying around but i move them as soon as i am told ) i tidy up constantly after other people and im sick of it

my brother and sister do nothing. i ask them for help.. they ignore me. my mum asks them for help they ignore her. im currently tidying up the living room.. the stairs.. putting laods of things away on my own cos we have a candle party in half an hour. i asked my sister for help she said.. ill have to put them away later cos ive got work to do. IVE GOT LOADS OF WORK TO DO BUT IM STILL DOING IT ALL!! my sister doesnt have university for another 2 weeks. her work doesnt have to be in for another 2 weeks.

im so annoyed. its really afecting my health and ive tried explainign to them that my mum cant cope cos she has depression. i cant cope cos of my ill health. but do they listen?!! do they buggery. my dad works full time so i undertsand him sitting down after a long days work

i feel like im doing it all on my own. my mum does the best she can but with depression its hard for her

i jsut want to huddle up in a corner and cry til it all goes away

its really annoying me !!

needed get it off my chest
x
 
The only thing that will really help is time, time, time. I know how much it sucks to have an extremely full plate and be sick too and sometimes having others around you should be able to rely on but can't actually makes things worse.

>virtual hugs<
 
aw its a tough one Laura. your mum & dad, as you say, need time to relax.. but that leaves your two siblings, who should be doing at least as much as you, if not more given that you're battling Crohns and they are not!!!

having said that, trying to make family members do something is a nightmare. i know.

have you got an older relative, like an uncle, who would come down a bit harder on your brother & sister than you can.. see if he can make them listen and take their share?
 
I had a roommate like that.

I literally took all the crap from one room and threw it in his, no matter where it went. He was pissed, and we almost got in a nice fight over it, but after that he started picking stuff up again.

Being family, its rougher... but all I can say is tough love is the only thing at times to crack sense into people....Find a way to get the picture to them ?

edit, also for my kids to make them clean their room, I normally take something they really love and hide it really well. Forces them to either move everything around or just clean up. Rarely works for cleaning...but they are kids, maybe you would have better luck - try shoes.
 
Last edited:
dingbat said:
aw its a tough one Laura. your mum & dad, as you say, need time to relax.. but that leaves your two siblings, who should be doing at least as much as you, if not more given that you're battling Crohns and they are not!!!

having said that, trying to make family members do something is a nightmare. i know.

have you got an older relative, like an uncle, who would come down a bit harder on your brother & sister than you can.. see if he can make them listen and take their share?
Click to expand...

yeh.. its stressing me out .. i couldnt deal with stress before getting ill.. ive got bob hope now lol

my uncle is strict with his own children but cudnt be with my brother and sister. my dad is usualy the strict one but i think they give up at the moment
x
 
Joe said:
I had a roommate like that.

I literally took all the crap from one room and threw it in his, no matter where it went. He was pissed, and we almost got in a nice fight over it, but after that he started picking stuff up again.

Being family, its rougher... but all I can say is tough love is the only thing at times to crack sense into people....Find a way to get the picture to them ?

edit, also for my kids to make them clean their room, I normally take something they really love and hide it really well. Forces them to either move everything around or just clean up. Rarely works for cleaning...but they are kids, maybe you would have better luck - try shoes.
Click to expand...


my mum and dad used to take things off us when we were little. but they dont do it any more since me and my brother are 18 and my sister is 20.

dont think anyone realises how much i get stressd out. i hold it in until i flip liek i have done today. i jsut wanna curl up in a ball and cry.

no matter what i have said to my brother and sister they wont help. there is one thing they both do which is grim and i wont say it but they dont listen about that either.

god help them in their own homes
x
 
Isla said:
The only thing that will really help is time, time, time. I know how much it sucks to have an extremely full plate and be sick too and sometimes having others around you should be able to rely on but can't actually makes things worse.

>virtual hugs<
Click to expand...

thanks for the hugs :D

yeh it jsut feels liek everything is on top of me and everywher ei look theres something i have to do. i think tomrow im going to have a lazy day wher ei just chill out and get my mind straight and put things into perspective so to speak
x
 
Is there a chance you could move out and into student accommodation Luara.
I know most uni's have student halls, maybe you should try to move there.
I know the student grant system in the UK is nonexistent, but if you could it would take a few major pieces of stress off you.

I know when I was your age, my sister was driving my parents mental, literally.
My mother and father had bouts of depression over her. That didn't help what I was going through at the time. But moving away to another city to study took a lot of that pressure off me. I only seen it at the weekends.

If you believe you are having a breakdown, and believe me you would know if you were, get help straight away. Go to your GP tomorrow. He/she will be able to put in contact with someone who will help. Don't let it linger on. Be proactive about it.

As for lazy siblings. Ask your father to give them a kick up the ARSE!!!! Old school (as you young ones would say!!)
 
im at college.. got one more year left so i cant mve into student halls.

ive had bouts of depression on and off since i was 13. went to see my gp when i was 14/15 after my parents discovered that i was self harming and he said he would refer to to a child psychatrist. which never happend.

im jsut sick of seeing doctors all of the time. its like one problem after another
x
 
My wife's a child Psyc.
I don't know why your Doc didn't push it.

Go again tommorrow. To hell with what they say. You need help. you need counciling at the very least. Go to the GP.

I'm probably going to be away for a few days, but I want you to post what the Doc say's on here to proove to us you went.

GO.... To.... G.... P....
 
i was seeing a counsellor at college but stopped as soon as i felt better. i may go and start to see her again.

ive got a busy day of being lazy tomorrow though :(

ill talk about it with my mum see if she will come with me i dont like DR's
x
 
I'm sorry Babe. Maybe you can talk to your dad and tell him how it's stressing you out that you are the only one doing the work, and ask him to PLEASE get on your bro and sis?
Also, if you clean their crap up, you should hide it in your closet until they ask for it, then tell them why you hid it.
 
Babe, I'm so sorry that you have so much to deal with in addition to your health. It's not fair!

i second what everyone else has said. Definitely go see a counselor again, even if it's just to rant face-to-face with someone. the biggest mistake people make is to stop treatment/counseling when they feel better. I think you need someone who you can talk to who understands you and takes your side (besides us, obviously. i mean face-to-face). If there's any way you can move out of your house, since it seems like living there is having such a negative impact on you, DO IT! can your school make an exception for you and give you student housing, or is there a friend or relative nearby that you could live with?

I hope the problems with your family clear up soon, but if not, I really don't think you should go on like this. You are such a selfless person that you are letting your family drag you down. your needs come before theirs. If your health is suffering, something needs to change!

*hugs*
 
Yes, Babe, an ongoing counselor when things are good can see you through it in the event you get down again, because then they have reference points to assist in the advice, and can recall what helped get you out the first time. I get very similar to you, only it's not always crying, rather flipping out I feel like doing, so I can relate. Chin up, as they say over the pond. :)
 
hehe

i dont want to move out co si love my mum and i dont know how she would cope without me. i do the families washing.. so maybe if i refused to do my bro and sisters washing they would take abit of notice?

things get me down alot more just recently. this whole thing sucks :(

thanks for all of your support
xxxxxx
 
Don't wash their clothes, and tell them you're busy when they whine. Sounds like you're the maid around there....
 
i will do. this may sound nasty but i care bout how ma mum feels when she gets upset so i end up doing everything.

by brother and sister dont veen clean up their mess after making something to eat. grrrr

x
 
my brother is a slob too. he's home from school on break right now. i'm ridiculously busy with school and activities, and he's doing nothing for a week. i came home today and the clean dishes hadn't been put away, boxes of food and a cutting board (with congealed cheese) were still on the counter, and the curtains hadn't even been opened. I cleaned it all up because my parents will come home and expect one of us to have done it. If he wont, then I have to.

It is not your responsibility to clean up after your siblings. I like the idea of not doing their laundry and letting them fend for themselves! Don't do anything for them that they couldn't do for themselves.
 
my job in the house is to feed the animals and doing the everybodies laundry. it takes ages!

they can do it all themselves if they wont pull their weight.

thats what its like at my house.. the kitchens a mess.. no one else cleans is.. aprt from me.. and my mum. even though they make the mess cos i prepare all my food on plates that can go straight in the wash.

i really should do yoga or something.. stress so isnt good

x
 
my mum had a go at them all. they are being abit better.. imnot fooled though.. in a few weeks it will be back to how it has been.

so.. i have a tummy ache its really sore and paracetamol isnt working :(

i had a blood test done 2 weeks ago at the hospital and they said it would only take a week to get the results and they still havnt got them. should i be worried or not?X
 
knowing the NHS and how slowly things happen sometimes, i wouldn't be worried, Laura. if you're concerned, keep ringing your consultant's secretary... she might chase up the results for you. good luck - hope they're ok, and you feel ok soon.
 
Hope you start to pick up soon Laura you really need some relief and rest by the sounds of things!!

Keep us up to date.

Thinking of you ((hugs))
 
thank you :)

wel. i rang for my blood tests today.. the GP's didnt have them.. so i rang Dr Bohens ( my GI) secretary, she said they should have had them a week ago. so she faxed them over... i rang the GP again and they said if i ring at 2pm they will tel me the results.. i rang at 2pm... still no results. got to ring tomoroow

its a right pain in the derrierre!!!!!!!!!

x
 
Babe123 said:
its a right pain in the derrierre!!!!!!!!!

x
Click to expand...

Boy.

I haven't heard someone use that word in ages ! It took a few seconds to read it and actually understand it :D
 
lol Laura, i would call that progress, compared to some of the fiascos i've had with hospitals & gps :D

all ok here thanks hun.

good luck, hope the test results are encouraging. keep us posted.
 

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