Just Need to Vent

[cateva]

So, I just need to vent, and nobody really understands, unless you are going through it, so I think I will get a sympathetic ear or two. I am finding the holidays to be harder and harder every year. I have had a total of 4 Holiday lunches to attend at work, and it adds stress to an already stressful existence. Today was number 3 and there was almost nothing I could eat. Why does everything have to center around food? I'm looking forward to January--when everyone starts their New Year's diet and I can ignore food again and not feel like the outcast. How do you all handle the stress of eating around the holidays?

 

[ronroush7]

If we are invited somewhere, they are aware of our food allergies. Otherwise, my wife and I go to grocery stores where we can find foods we can both eat. We are both retired.

 

[lisadc1]

The gatherings I attend, most already know my food sensitivities. Some have been gracious enough to adjust (without my asking - I never would anyway) their recipes, such as leaving out seeds/nuts or even making a separate recipe without those foods I can't tolerate. I just eat what I am able and give no excuses. Seems like most large gatherings always have foods, just enjoy what you are able and create a dish that you are able to safely eat. Merry Christmas!

 

[CYY]

Hi cateva, found that your story seems kind of similar to mine, so just wanted to let you know that I totally understand how you feel.

I'm on a 100% Modulen IBD diet (i.e. Liquid food) as part of my EEN treatment for my recently diagnosed Crohn's. I've been on it for a week now, and I still have, if everything goes well, seven more weeks to go (*crosses fingers*).

I'm currently having my school holidays now, but I worry about how my classmates would react to me having to drink nothing but this specially formulated milk and whether or not the accompanying bad breath (which no amount of brushing has helped) would drive my friends away when school reopens.

Dread and stress are my closest friends now.

For me, I have came up with a list of excuses that I can use to explain to the people around me why I don't go for recess and why I'm drinking only formula milk. So far, my most detailed excuse is that I'm severely underweight, and a dietician has advised me to go on this "intensive" treatment regime. I know it's terrible XD

Although I cannot provide you with concrete advice on how to cope with the stress of eating as this is the first time that I'm going through this myself, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone, and we'll be there for you. We're more than willing to provide you with a listening ear, and hear out whatever you have to say. If today was terrible, just encourage yourself that tomorrow will be better. :hug:

Here's wishing to Santa that January comes at the speed of light,
CYY :smile:

 

[my little penguin]

CYY
Ds is 13 and has been on EEn
Many times while at school

Some tips
He uses a metal water bottle with a large opening in the top
And lots of cold packs in a lunch bag to keep it cold .
No one can"see" what's inside
If they ask -it's a protein shake -which it is in a way
Ds chewed crushed ice
This cleans the mouth and teeth better
During lunch he spends time talking to his friends
So after the first question the kids haven't asked again

He has done een at school three times and still eats very little solids compared to his peers now and has some formula during the day

Good luck

 

[Lizzie]

I totally understand where you're coming from. My Christmas meal will be mashed potato and a mouthful of carrot. Luckil, my Christmas will be a very small one with just a couple of family members who know what Crohns can do (my dad had it very severely), so there will be no pressure there - just the misery of watching everyone else stuff their face with wonderful food and drink of course.

However, I was due to go to a Christmas lunch with a big group of people that I didn't know except for the lady whose guest I would be, and I was really worried about it, and almost relieved when she had to cancel. I'd been planning to tell them I'd just been to the dentist so as to avoid awkward questions!

I agree with you, I'll be glad when it's all over.

 

[cateva]

Thank you all for your responses. I don't really have a great support system. Even the people closest to me don't fully understand. I guess I shouldn't expect them to, if they don't live with it. I just get frustrated because you are expected to go to these lunches or parties, and then you have to sit there with an empty plate while everyone else eats. I don't think people really understand. They seem to understand diabetes and vegetarianism and gluten free, but somehow when it comes to Crohn's they don't get it.

 

[my little penguin]

In addition to Crohns and gastroparesis Ds has had life threatening allergies to foods (tree nuts and fish ) since age 4.
Which means if we can't 100% be sure (i.e. Reading the labeling calling the company that made the flour in the cake etc...)
Then he can't eat it

Tips we have used
Eat right before you go
Bring your favorite meal of it isn't at a restaurant -
Especially safe dessert if you have one
If it is at a restaurant call the manager ahead of time and find out if there is a possible safe thing for you -make sure to call during non busy hours
When in doubt don't eat anything and leave early if needed

Ds has learned to focus on the people
He talks to most of the folks while they eat and unfortunately sometimes only gets water

It does stink
We try to promote non food events to socialize
Movies
Bowling
Activities outside
Things where food may be present but not the only thing


I know it's hard but please try to focus on the people even if they don't get it

A lot of folks here do

 

[Lizzie]

I don't think people really understand. They seem to understand diabetes and vegetarianism and gluten free, but somehow when it comes to Crohn's they don't get it.

I think part of the problem is that eating for Crohns is for many of us the opposite of healthy eating and people just can't get their heads round the idea that fibre is bad, and eating your five a day is impossible and could even put you in hospital before long. Also, when you say you have to avoid alcohol and sugar etc, they think you're just being silly, maybe worrying about putting on too much weight or something relatively trivial.

I tend to take a few cream crackers out with me to fend off the hunger pangs at these events, plus maybe a banana for dessert, which is the only fruit I can eat.

 

[cateva]

I think part of the problem is that eating for Crohns is for many of us the opposite of healthy eating and people just can't get their heads round the idea that fibre is bad, and eating your five a day is impossible and could even put you in hospital before long.

A little off topic, but I had an exam with a colorectal surgeon back in October to discuss skin tags. I was having pain, and they couldn't identify the source. He told me to eat more fiber, and he was ready to have me sign the papers for surgery. I declined the surgery because everything I have read tells you NOT to remove skin tags because they may not heal and it could cause incontinence. Fiber is the worse thing for me. Even the doctors can be clueless. I really have to tell them what works for me and what doesn't. This forum has been a great help to me. I read several threads about skin tags and got some good tips from other people's experiences. I am thankful for the help. I've had Crohn's for eight years, and new things keep cropping up.