Limericks: Rhyme a Line at a Time

[723crossroads]

some were from marijuana and some were from booze

 

[scottsma]

But she cleaned up her act when she met Fritz

 

[723crossroads]

Some say poker is a sin ( new one)

 

[Robert747]

except when you enjoy a massive win

 

[723crossroads]

Like Robbie did in old sin city

 

[Robert747]

Where the girls all showed a lot of pity

 

[723crossroads]

as he sat there drinking gin!!

 

[723crossroads]

Love is full of misery

 

[Robert747]

and in love I have a poor history

 

[723crossroads]

but when you came along it changed

 

[scottsma]

my emotions were far ranged

 

[723crossroads]

Love is certainly not free!

 

[723crossroads]

When Alfred met his Abagail

 

[Robert747]

it was not exactly a happy tale

 

[723crossroads]

everything seemed great until

 

[scottsma]

Abbi admitted she came off the Pill

 

[j.bug]

For that next 9 months, his best friend would be his ale.

 

[scottsma]

Santas toes were frozen stiff

 

[j.bug]

But he had work to do, and in a jiff

 

[Beach bum]

So he asked the reindeer,

 

[j.bug]

For a nice cold beer

 

[scottsma]

And down the chimney he did go with everybodys gifts

 

[gillmc]

There once was a woman from Scotland...

 

[scottsma]

Who played in The Pipes and Drums Band

 

[723crossroads]

Hey, can you come here?

 

[scottsma]

I'll stand you a round of beer !!!!

 

[Robert747]

with the strength of this you will be lucky to stand

 

[Robert747]

Santa finally loaded his sleigh

 

[scottsma]

then went off for a snooze in Rudolphs soft hay

 

[723crossroads]

He pulled close to Blitzen and said

 

[gillmc]

How much does this gig actually pay!?!?!

 

[Robert747]

How much does this gig actually pay!?!?!

Hello Gill

Looks like you finished it one line early. Still - no problem.

New one

Old Fred dragged the scrawny Christmas tree back from the market

 

[scottsma]

when he got home he had nowhere to park it

 

[723crossroads]

so he moved out his table

 

[scottsma]

and called out for Mabel

 

[723crossroads]

so that's where they decided to mark it!!

 

[SandyUte]

twas the night before Christmas with two foster kids:ywow::ywow:

 

[scottsma]

please make me an offer,I'm open to bids

 

[723crossroads]

One peas her pants,the other runs free

 

[scottsma]

please,some-one take over and let me be me

 

[SandyUte]

please,some-one take over and let me be me

You two know me too well! :rof: :ylol: :rof: :ylol: Bids, anyone?? Never mind. By the new year, we will be EMPTY NESTERS! WOO WOO!

 

[SandyUte]

Twas the night before Christmas and in Pennsylvania...

 

[723crossroads]

There lived two young lovers named Mike and Terania:wink:

 

[SandyUte]

But Mike a bit tall, and Terania quite small

 

[scottsma]

when she needed a hug,she stood on a wall

 

[723crossroads]

They were able to make a baby named Sherania:lol2:

 

[Robert747]

The snow lay deep outside the front door

 

[723crossroads]

The young couple hoped there would be no more!:eek2:

 

[723crossroads]

sorry Carol, your post came in a secong before mine. Use yours!

 

[SandyUte]

until they realized they couldn't go out

 

[723crossroads]

Then both of them cried and began to shout

 

[scottsma]

lets get the snow clearer,oh, it's such a chore !!!!

 

[723crossroads]

twas the last day on earth and we were scared

 

[scottsma]

we didn't pay bills and loving we shared

 

[723crossroads]

we held each other oh so tight:heart:

 

[scottsma]

waiting for the blinding light

 

[723crossroads]

We knew then how much we cared!:heart::heart::heart:

 

[Pirate]

As we set on our toilets with our butts bared

 

[723crossroads]

As we set on our toilets with our butts bared

Sorry Pirate, this is limericks and that was the end of the last one. So plz start over, I won't tell anyone!
RHYME 1st and 2nd line. then rhyme 3rd and 4th line with eachother. Then rhyme last line with 1st and 2nd line.
It's ok. We know you are a man!!!! We will use that as your first line,OK?

 

[723crossroads]

Praying noone enters, they best not dare!

 

[scottsma]

I've got plenty loo roll and a good book too

 

[723crossroads]

so, I'll sit and sit till it's all done

 

[SandyUte]

But I've been here five hours and now I am scared.

 

[sawdust]

In the limerick thread, page seventy-three

 

[scottsma]

I'm wracking my brain,oh diddle-de-dee

 

[723crossroads]

To find a subject we haven't used

 

[scottsma]

and keep all us loonies mildly amused

 

[723crossroads]

so I am on bended knee....

 

[Robert747]

(new) It was Christmas Eve at Sandy's Party

 

[723crossroads]

Robert dancing with neighbor Marty:biggrin:

 

[Dexky]

as he reached for his thigh

 

[723crossroads]

He started to sigh

 

[Robert747]

Hey!

 

[Dexky]

he said, those aren't my car keys!!!

 

[723crossroads]

Sandy hosted quite the party and everyone was there (NEW)


Carol this is the start....:medal1:

 

[Robert747]

although the ladies were beautiful and fair

 

[723crossroads]

the men got so unruly,and wanted to play "strip poker"

I changed it for you!!!

 

[723crossroads]

So I made it quite clear that I was not being the joker:biggrin:

 

[scottsma]

But all the ladies gasped aloud,when they saw Robert bare.

 

[723crossroads]

Tis Christmas and I didn't get my laptop!:stinks:

 

[Beach bum]

In fact the whole day has been a flop,

 

[Robert747]

I scream and scream 'cos I'm a spoilt brat

 

[723crossroads]

I said Robert "you dirty rat!"

 

[scottsma]

will you stop that tantrum,and let the matter drop?

 

[723crossroads]

will you stop that tantrum,and let the matter drop?

No I won't, I won't I won't!!!

 

[Robert747]

New Year is dawning and I have a plan

 

[723crossroads]

I've decided I'm really not meant to be man

 

[Dexky]

and since Dusty already has my balls in a jar

 

[723crossroads]

I'm hoping she doesn't throw them too far!

 

[scottsma]

I would like to keep them as long as I can.

 

[Dexky]

Well New Year is here and my plan is kerput

 

[723crossroads]

So I am going to put down my other foot

 

[Dexky]

Now, I've stuck it in s**t up to my knee

 

[723crossroads]

And suddenly I feel like I have to pee!:ywow:

 

[scottsma]

I'm laughing so much,got a pain in my gut.......

 

[scottsma]

There was a fat guy from Caracas

 

[723crossroads]

Who just loved to fondle moraccas:ylol2:

 

[Robert747]

The maidens did tut, as he wandered into view

 

[723crossroads]

He hid them down pants not knowing what to do!:rof:

 

[scottsma]

then thought,who the heck gives a rats a**