Limericks: Rhyme a Line at a Time

[723crossroads]

There was a young man they called shady:yfrown:

 

[scottsma]

who was looking around for a "Lady"

 

[723crossroads]

so he could take full advantage

 

[Dexky]

and rise up to the challenge

 

[723crossroads]

and make himself a baby!!!:thumleft:

 

[scottsma]

There was a young lady from OZ

 

[Beach bum]

Who had a gigantic schnoz

 

[scottsma]

she used t.towels as hankies

 

[Robert747]

Naturally making her cranky

 

[scottsma]

alas,a beauty she never was.

 

[723crossroads]

There was a sweet doggie named Alfie:heart:

 

[Dexky]

who was scared of the neighbor's cat Ralphie.

 

[723crossroads]

He would tiptoe around

 

[Beach bum]

Never a leap or a bound,

 

[Dexky]

and wouldn't go near him without me!

 

[723crossroads]

There was a little snottie girl named Eve

 

[scottsma]

who kept wiping her nose on her sleeve

 

[723crossroads]

"how disgusting", said all who saw her arm

 

[scottsma]

this lassie is really lacking in charm

 

[723crossroads]

No attention from boys was received!

 

[scottsma]

Teresa was blonde and so curvy

 

[723crossroads]

When she danced it was quite swervy

 

[scottsma]

they stood back in awe

 

[723crossroads]

till she took a fall:ylol2::dance:

 

[scottsma]

and her partner turned out to be pervy

 

[723crossroads]

My New Years Eve was boring:redface:

 

[scottsma]

my sweet hubby he was snoring

 

[723crossroads]

Boy, you sure got that right!:boring:

 

[scottsma]

perhaps next year I might

 

[723crossroads]

Send him soaring!!! (Boom, zoom to the moon!!!!:dance

 

[Dexky]

I have many friends who love golf

 

[scottsma]

Tiger,Arnold and Rolf

 

[723crossroads]

All they do is hit'em all the day!

 

[Dexky]

but they never want me to play

 

[723crossroads]

So I Hit'em,enuf is enuf!!!:ylol2::ylol2::ylol2:

 

[723crossroads]

There once was a hooker named Suzie:eek2:

 

[Robert747]

Who was always very choosy

 

[723crossroads]

She'd make them form a line

 

[723crossroads]

She like clean men with money

Sorry Sweetie, rhyming is wrong. Reread.:rosette2:

 

[Robert747]

Sorry Sweetie, rhyming is wrong. Reread.:rosette2:

Hey that doesn't rhyme!

You people make me mad!

 

[723crossroads]

And it would happen every time

 

[Robert747]

Then interview them in the jacuzzi

 

[scottsma]

there was an old hippie from Mississippi

 

[723crossroads]

His name was Hank and boy was he dippy!

 

[Robert747]

He liked to drink cider by the edge of the pond

 

[Dexky]

Hey that doesn't rhyme!

You people make me mad!

If you're gonna be the limerick police….

da,dah,da,da,da, da, dah
da, dah,da,da,da,da,dah

da,dah,da,da,dah, dahhh
da,dah,da,da,dah, dahhh

da,dah,da,da,da,dahhhhh

….just sayin'

 

[Dexky]

Oh and…

of wild wood weed, he had grown quite fond

 

[723crossroads]

He ended up in the pond from a slippy!!!:ylol::sign0085:

 

[723crossroads]

Maryjane was once my friend....

 

[scottsma]

We would be together 'til the end

 

[723crossroads]

Until her magic disappeared

 

[scottsma]

and to my lover she was endeared

 

[Robert747]

So this stick, over her head I will bend

 

[723crossroads]

Carol was the finest babe:thumleft:

 

[scottsma]

(awe shucks !!! ) she's hoping this Limerick starts to take shape

 

[Robert747]

hoping this Limerick starts to take shape

Well - I can't think of a single word to rhyme with babe!

 

[723crossroads]

She looks in the mirror to see what they see

 

[scottsma]

Stong,thoughtful and giving and lovely (maybe)

 

[723crossroads]

Any inner anger was long mislaid :ylol2:

 

[scottsma]

A fine hulking fellow called Mike

 

[Robert747]

Said 'Hey! Now there's a lady I like'

 

[scottsma]

she's sexy and funny

 

[723crossroads]

She's got a flat tummy:ylol2::ylol2::ylol2:

 

[Dexky]

and a seven foot boyfriend named Spike!

 

[723crossroads]

There once was a farm boy who ate raw eggs

 

[Beach bum]

It gave him the shakes, especially in his legs,

 

[723crossroads]

he doddled back and froth

 

[Robert747]

Keeping the farm to the North

 

[723crossroads]

And ended up getting pegs!:ylol2:

 

[723crossroads]

Crohnnies tend to be groanies:ylol2:

 

[Beach bum]

Try as they might not to be moanies,

 

[scottsma]

they grit their teeth and soldier on

 

[Dexky]

thanks to cf they're never alone

 

[Robert747]

and don't speak a load of balony

 

[scottsma]

There was an old crohnie who slipped on the ice

 

[723crossroads]

Not just once , he did it twice!

 

[scottsma]

He dropped his cigars and alcohol too

 

[723crossroads]

Oh dear what's an old chronnie to do???:yfrown:

 

[scottsma]

If Kylie came to his aid,now that would be nice !!!

 

[scottsma]

Today is Roberts Birthday,he'll have a drink or two

 

[723crossroads]

We can celebrate together and all us have one too.

 

[scottsma]

'cos all birthdays are special,especially when your old

 

[Robert747]

you really don't care and are happy to be bold

 

[scottsma]

So Happy Birthday Robert,from all of us to you

 

[723crossroads]

Happy is the man who has his quiver full!




NEW ONE!!!!!:ylol:

 

[scottsma]

His days are always hopeful and his nights are never dull

 

[723crossroads]

As the Mrs. prepares for the night ahead:thumleft:

 

[Dexky]

"what kinda limerick is this?", he said.

 

[Aura]

She tries not to look a sight

 

[Dexky]

Is that a new one K….cause I'm lost!!

 

[723crossroads]

Is that a new one K….cause I'm lost!!

ME TOO!!!:ylol::ylol::ylol:

 

[Aura]

U know me, jumping in the middle of one and upsetting the apple cart, sorry

 

[Dexky]

I'm not so sure it's just you!! With these "limericks", it's hard to tell the middle from either end!!

 

[scottsma]

(New) There was a smart guy from Kentucky

 

[723crossroads]

Who always thought he was just lucky

 

[scottsma]

Then one day at the races

 

[Dexky]

he got put through the paces

 

[723crossroads]

And turned into a shmucky!:ylol:

 

[723crossroads]

New one ~ There was once a fattened duck

 

[Robert747]

who wandered into the banquet - bad luck!