Limericks: Rhyme a Line at a Time

[scottsma]

There was an old lady from Wales

 

[Robert747]

who had two foot long nails

 

[723crossroads]

She would paint them everyday

 

[scottsma]

and used them for swordplay

 

[723crossroads]

and scratch the back of all her pals!:rof:

 

[723crossroads]

New one:

Silky's voice was smooth as silk

 

[scottsma]

she gargled with neat rum and milk

 

[723crossroads]

On her pillow at night

 

[scottsma]

she whispered in the soft lamplight

 

[723crossroads]

Yes, for you,:hug: I will...

 

[723crossroads]

New one:

Carol was out walking her dog

 

[scottsma]

she encountered a fella,out there in the fog

 

[723crossroads]

He said, come with me lady or your little dog's dead

 

[scottsma]

so she kicked him in the gonads and smacked him round the head

 

[Robert747]

with a limp and a shout off he did jog

 

[723crossroads]

Halloween night and noone's around:shifty-t:

 

[Robert747]

but the witches on 'Last One Wins' can be found

 

[723crossroads]

Just look hard in the forest o'er yonder

 

[scottsma]

Is that a witch,I hear you wonder

 

[Robert747]

certainly is! Up to no good I'll be bound

 

[scottsma]

There was a young lady from Greece

 

[723crossroads]

who was always so cold,she wore fleece

 

[Robert747]

Costas offered to keep her warm

 

[723crossroads]

But she pushed him away with her arm

 

[Beach bum]

And begged him to curb his lust and cease.

 

[723crossroads]

It's still raining and we're blue!

 

[chellybird]

shall I make us a large stew?

 

[723crossroads]

Said Robert with a smile:biggrin:

 

[SandyUte]

but the witches on 'Last One Wins' can be found

You haven't seen me much today. I've been brewing.

Okay, on with your limericks ...

 

[723crossroads]

:biggrin:He'd been cooking for awhile

 

[Robert747]

I can make enough to feed our whole crew

 

[723crossroads]

I can make enough to feed our whole crew

Did you finally buy a stockpot???:ylol2:

 

[723crossroads]

New One:

Sandy lived in Utah by the city

 

[Beach bum]

Her apartment was small, neat, and pretty,

 

[723crossroads]

She was married to Doug who adored her:hug:

 

[Robert747]

but moving like a hurricane she was just a blur

 

[723crossroads]

Getting down to the nitty, gritty!!:biggrin:

 

[scottsma]

I like being me, but I'd really like to be

 

[723crossroads]

a movie star or on TV:lol2:

 

[Robert747]

I would be James Bond, with a big gun

 

[723crossroads]

Or Big Ben taking it in for the run!(Steeler's Quarterback)

 

[SandyUte]

Her apartment was small, neat, and pretty,

(Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa! I wish it were neat and pretty right now.
The fall colors around us are pretty, though.)

 

[SandyUte]

But at least, not a preg-nan-cy.

 

[723crossroads]

But at least, not a preg-nan-cy.

Amen to that!

 

[723crossroads]

Scraggley cat sitting on the roof

 

[SandyUte]

Doggy below, saying "woof woof"

 

[723crossroads]

Kitty spits a fur ball far

 

[Robert747]

as it hits the dog she goes 'ha, ha'

 

[scottsma]

then just in case of tantrums,she jumps upon the roof

 

[723crossroads]

Nanny put Rob in the corner:biggrin:

 

[scottsma]

because he was cheeky and scorned her

 

[723crossroads]

So he gave her the finger:biggrin:

 

[Robert747]

but did not linger

 

[723crossroads]

Till Nanny became an informer!:biggrin:

 

[SandyUte]

Way up high the bell it was tolling

 

[scottsma]

the sky was dark,the clouds a'rolling

 

[723crossroads]

everyone knew that Sandy was coming:lol2:

 

[scottsma]

the rain poured down the thunder drumming

 

[723crossroads]

People shouting loudly in the streets

 

[acheallova]

Way better than dancing in the sheets!

 

[723crossroads]

Whats left of New York they all are humming...:ywow:

 

[scottsma]

There was an old man with a Turkey

 

[Robert747]

There was an old man with a Turkey

Who taught it to drive a car - how quirky

 

[scottsma]

It drove him round the bend

 

[723crossroads]

until his life did end

 

[Robert747]

A sad story, dark and murky

 

[scottsma]

Well,here's a cheerful little rhyme.....

 

[723crossroads]

It starts with you, my valentine

 

[scottsma]

a smile a wink is all we need

 

[723crossroads]

and maybe wine and a touch of weed:biggrin:

 

[scottsma]

To dream and while away the time.............end

 

[723crossroads]

New one:
On my tombstone, it shall read:

 

[scottsma]

to all of you who pass,take heed

 

[723crossroads]

I thought I lived a healthy life

 

[scottsma]

good food,fresh air,and little strife

 

[723crossroads]

But I never listened to my wifes needs...
The end

 

[723crossroads]

Carma chamelion changed moods, as if she was

 

[Beach bum]

Jekyll and Hyde, because

 

[723crossroads]

She wasn't sure of her husband, you see

 

[scottsma]

sometimes he'd stay out at night 'til three

 

[723crossroads]

And tell her that he was in OZ!!!!:ylol:

 

[scottsma]

A cold and frosty day has dawned

 

[723crossroads]

A nasty temper it has spawned

 

[scottsma]

he didn't sleep a wink last night

 

[723crossroads]

the wife had the blanket wrapped round her tight!

 

[scottsma]

and there's snow on the way the forcaster warned

 

[723crossroads]

New one:

Twas the night before Thanksgiving

 

[scottsma]

the turkey was still living..........(sorry)

 

[723crossroads]

someone had to do the deed...

 

[scottsma]

or we wouldn't have a feed

 

[j.bug]

So in jumps a lil bug to save the day!

 

[scottsma]

you haven't quite got the hang of this have you Marcia ?

 

[j.bug]

you haven't quite got the hang of this have you Marcia ?

Well I thought I was adding a line to a rhyme....

 

[scottsma]

that line had to rhyme with thanksgiving or living

 

[j.bug]

Yes, AABBA...my bad.

 

[scottsma]

or we wouldn't have a feed

and the family would be so unforgiving

 

[723crossroads]

now that Sheila lost weight

 

[Robert747]

She is finally going on a date

 

[scottsma]

she had a new hair do

 

[723crossroads]

and fingernails painted blue