Limericks: Rhyme a Line at a Time

[scottsma]

can't get no relief

 

[Grumbletum]

When the pollen count is high

 

[scottsma]

and a nose thats all snotty from sneezin'

 

[Dexky]

Oh Helen….you're fired!!^^^


Now's the time when my woodstove's a table

 

[Grumbletum]

Oh Helen….you're fired!!^^^


Now's the time when my woodstove's a table

:lol2: oh no, please give me another chance Lord Sugar!
Are we on a new first line then?

 

[Dexky]

Now's the time when my woodstove's a table

 

[Grumbletum]

And we barbecue whenever we're able

 

[scottsma]

sometimes its chicken

 

[Grumbletum]

Juicy, finger lickin

 

[sawdust]

When it rains, stay in and watch cable. :ybatty:

 

[scottsma]

there once was a fella from spain

 

[Grumbletum]

Who had a phobia about travelling by train

 

[sawdust]

One day on his bike,

 

[Grumbletum]

Which was actually a trike

 

[Dexky]

he got caught in the rain on the plain.

 

[scottsma]

whenever I look in the mirror

 

[sawdust]

The image becomes clearer

 

[scottsma]

that I'm looking so pale

 

[sawdust]

It's not a tale

 

[scottsma]

old age gets nearer and nearer

 

[Dexky]

I like NewCastle Brown Ale

 

[sawdust]

But some dweeb ordered a round of pale.

 

[Dexky]

If the Scottsma were here

 

[scottsma]

she'd get her throat in gear

 

[Robert747]

and end the night in jail.

 

[scottsma]

If I was wealthy instead of good looking

 

[Grumbletum]

A luxury cruise I'd be booking

 

[scottsma]

I'd sit on the deck and cocktails I,d neck

 

[CLynn]

Maybe more, if no one was looking!

 

[Grumbletum]

When the weather is sunny and mild

 

[Robert747]

Old Fred did like to go wild

 

[scottsma]

he'd run around naked

 

[Dexky]

but his wife couldn't take it

 

[scottsma]

she said he behaved like a child

 

[Jessi]

Today, I'll wear my bikini

 

[Robert747]

My friends said it was really teeny

 

[scottsma]

so we,d like a photo

 

[sawdust]

Welcome back, better than so-so?

 

[Grumbletum]

Let's hope things don't get too steamy

 

[Robert747]

Old farmer Smith kept a handsome goat

 

[sawdust]

It ate a tire, a tin can, and a small rowboat.

 

[Grumbletum]

One day it had kids

 

[scottsma]

and changed its diet

 

[Trysha]

Tumbling around in April showers

 

[Robert747]

The donkeys trampled a field of flowers

 

[scottsma]

They hee hawed and brayed

 

[sawdust]

kicked and then say'd:

 

[scottsma]

We are great and we have the POWERS

 

[Robert747]

A thief jumped off a high wall

 

[scottsma]

his swag bag breaking his fall

 

[Grumbletum]

But while attempting to run

 

[sawdust]

an officer pulled his gun,

 

[Grumbletum]

And arrested him along with his haul

 

[Trysha]

There once was a fella named Kirk

 

[Robert747]

who liked to avoid going to work

 

[Grumbletum]

On his sofa he'd laze

 

[scottsma]

not a finger he'd raise

 

[Dexky]

'til it drove his dear wife berserk!

 

[scottsma]

When Fred was on holiday in Spain

 

[Jessie_76]

he forgot to pack his cain

 

[scottsma]

so he hobbled to the beach

 

[Robert747]

It was the sea he needed to reach

 

[Grumbletum]

And he got there, although in some pain

 

[Trysha]

he walked with a tremble

 

[scottsma]

and he did resemble

 

[Grumbletum]

A jelly the way he did wobble

 

[scottsma]

So he got a flash speedboat

 

[Robert747]

Sorry cannot work out where this one started or the last one ended....... so I am going to start afresh (unilateral decision - they'll never find me)


Old Fred while flying to the States

 

[scottsma]

was hoping for one or two dates

 

[CLynn]

But upon landing he found

 

[Robert747]

In his pocket he only had ten pound

 

[Grumbletum]

And unrequited passion soon abates.

 

[scottsma]

a chap rode to work on a bike

 

[Robert747]

not looking a lamppost he did strike

 

[scottsma]

so he broke a front tooth

 

[Grumbletum]

And cried out 'Forsooth'

 

[scottsma]

Tomorrow I'm going to hike

 

[Robert747]

In a castle that had a deep moat

 

[scottsma]

he rowed all around it by boat

 

[Robert747]

"What's that in the water?"

 

[CLynn]

The air suddenly got hotter

 

[Robert747]

But nothing too strange to note

 

[scottsma]

While posting on "Last one wins"

 

[CLynn]

(Wonders to herself why these customers don't go away....don't they realize I am playing games with my friends?)

 

[Robert747]

working so hard was CLynn's

 

[scottsma]

so she locked all the doors

 

[CLynn]

And sat on the floor

 

[scottsma]

won the game but got fired for her sins

 

[CLynn]

She stood up and dusted off

 

[scottsma]

put her hand to her mouth,had a cough

 

[CLynn]

Threw on her best attitude

 

[scottsma]

but wasn't too rude

 

[Trysha]

There was an Old Man in a tree
Who was horribly bored by a Bee
When they said "Does it buzz?"
He replied "Yes it does!"
"It's a regular brute of a bee"
Edward Lear

 

[Grumbletum]

And stalked out her work like a toff.

 

[scottsma]

while packing a bag for his Hols.

 

[Robert747]

cramming full of garlic rolls

 

[scottsma]

he said with a moan

 

[Grumbletum]

I need to find a phone

 

[Trysha]

with a tone that is tuneful and soft!

 

[Robert747]

There was a young man from South Ealing